Vivisection
by Kelsey L Leigh
Summary: A story of two very messed-up people meeting each other in a very messed-up world...because the Avatar world is just as flawed as ours. ZukoxOC.
1. Insomniac

Obviously I don't own Avatar. Duh.

This fanfiction is partially autobiographical, and more than a little bit dark and obsessive. It's rated M for language, themes, and possible lime. Not that that will ever happen. It's just a precaution.

This chapter is basically an introduction to the main character, Lisana, who only wants to go to sleep…

I screamed inside my head.

I was so sick of trying to sleep. Trying and failing, kept awake by my own abnormally amplified senses.

I twisted in my bed, shutting my eyes. I tried to exercise the mental control that worked everywhere else. I tried to make myself think of nothing.

But I couldn't. Why couldn't I fall asleep? It wasn't because I wasn't tired, I was sure. I was so damn tired. I knew the next morning I would look in the mirror and see violet-stained eyes and someone would ask me if I was getting enough sleep. And I would smile and lie because I didn't want the temptation of sleeping pills. I'd tried that once. It hadn't ended well.

I gripped my head in my hands and pulled at my hair until I felt the sharp pain of strands escaping my scalp. I could see colours in the dark. They drove me insane because I knew they weren't really there.

I sat up in my bed and the springs creaked. I swung my legs over the side and reached for my laptop. As least I was allowed to have that in my room. I supposed that they assumed I couldn't cut my wrists with a keyboard.

I flipped it open, felt around for earphones on the carpet, plugged them in. I opened a Within Temptation song on the media player and clicked Play. I typed.

Typing helped. I knew I wouldn't fall asleep at the keyboard and risk discovery (oh blessed sleep, not for me). I would put it away at five in the morning and lie in bed and pretend when the sun came up.

Just like I had for the past four days.

My fingers moved.

_Yes, just keep whining little emo kid, someone up there cares, no they don't, god get over yourself why don't you, who cares? Why don't you just die, die, die, die, die, diediediediedie…_

It was somehow comforting, pressing the same three keys over and over in the same pattern.

The music helped. It stopped me from hearing sound too clearly. I hated how the strange sensitivity only came at night. At least if it had been during the day I could have pretended to be sick. Which, in a way, I was. But everyone already knew that.

Maybe I should take the sleeping pills. But I could see how well any request I made for those would go down. My mouth hardened. I would just have to live with it, just like I always had.


	2. First Day

Welcome to Chapter the Second. This is more from Lisana's perspective, five months after the first chapter. Don't worry, anxious fan-people, I bring her into the Avatar world soon. Maybe too soon…

'So I get to go to school today?' I asked, with more than a little wariness. Not seeing the inside of an educational establishment for just over a year and a half tends to do that to people.

Alison shoved me out the door before I could protest. 'Yep. Have fun, sweetie.'

The door shut behind me, and I scowled. My foster mother had an extremely twisted idea of the meaning of the word _fun. _She also had the annoying habit of being cheerful when all I could do was restrain myself from breaking out into the public and eating small children.

Shouldering my bag, I began to walk. I ran through a mental checklist of all the assorted crap I needed. Mobile phone, MP3 player, Chemistry and Maths textbooks, pencilcase, lunch money. I made lists when I got nervous.

It wasn't the academic aspect of school that worried me. I'd always been smarter than average and had taught myself calculus (differentiation, at least) during my extended break. The principal had agreed to bump me up a grade past what I would normally have been. Granted, I would be a year younger than everyone else, but that didn't faze me. I'd never been much of a socializing type anyway.

I ran through the checklist again, and grimaced. Lunch money. I would be lucky if some bully didn't steal it from me.

It was only half a joke. For some reason, I attracted school bullies like rotting meat attracted flies. I had never been flavour of the month with other people my own age, not even in preschool (I'd been sent home my second day for punching another child). It had only gotten worse in high school. People had put dead possums in my locker, for Christ's sake. It was like they had known I was a freak before I did.

I glanced down at my band t-shirt (Evanescence) and recalled the fact that my glasses were slightly crooked. Someone would doubtless pick me as emo-nerd, despite the fact that Evanescence was gothic metal. I was fine with that. Let them make their own assumptions. It was better than them knowing the truth.

I looked at my watch and saw that I only had three minutes to reach St. Helena's.

I ran. School started at eight thirty – at least I didn't have to tolerate rush hour. I approached the one road I would have to cross to make it to the school. My feet left the kerb and something slammed into me.

My first instinct was to think _Fuck, that hurts. _I didn't. It would have been a lie. I didn't feel any pain, although my mind estimated that the thing which had somehow hit me had had a lot of force behind it.

Maybe I was paralysed. As the thought occurred to me, I realised I couldn't open my eyes. That annoyed me. How was I supposed to see what had happened to me? I struggled with my eyelids, but they appeared to have developed the physical properties of lead. I tried to mentally sense whether I still had my glasses on – there was no way I was letting Alison pay for those – but my skin seemed to have lost all its feeling. I was a lead person, in a blackness made of lead paint. It was getting inside my blood and my bones and my head.

I mentally swore. My mouth opened in reflex, and the lead paint seeped inside me.


	3. Nemi

Okay, here's chapter three. Hopefully someone will review this soon, so I can feel like I haven't totally wasted my time. 

_Is this what it feels like to be dead?_

It wasn't at all what I'd expected.

I began the string of scientific reasoning. The personality, or _soul, _logically had to be housed in the brain, and the brain, as anyone who had done basic biology knew, ran on electrical impulses. When someone was clinically dead, no electricity in the brain. Hence no personality. Hence no soul. None, zip, zilch.

According to science, there was no way I should be thinking about what it felt like to be dead right now. Yet somehow I was. Logically, there was only one conclusion I could reach from this train of thought. And that logical conclusion was that I wasn't dead.

I opened my eyes.

It was extraordinarily uncomfortable. Something hard was poking into my back. I appeared to be lying down face up. The light seemed too _close, _somehow. It was dense and greenish and _scratchy – _something was poking insistently at my face. I raised a hand – too heavy, although the leaden sensation had faded away – to remove it, and felt a twig intercept my fingers. It came to me.

I was in a bush.

I mused. At least I was face up, saved the indignity of having to eat dirt. I decided to sit up and then just as quickly decided against it. I didn't want a tree poking my eye out. And my glasses had gone missing.

I felt around for them clumsily. The fingers of my right hand brushed something metallic and I pulled the frames towards me, inspecting them. Crap. One of the lenses was cracked, and they were both dirty. I put them on anyway. I couldn't afford to lose my glasses. I was as good as blind without them.

My arm felt strangely itchy. I moved my hand to scratch it and screamed.

I wasn't normally a pansy but oh God it was a goddamn scorpion thingy with _wings, _no shit, wings, and it was on my arm and its tail was curled forwards, a black stinger with a drop of oily venom suspended from the end of it –

I leapt out of the bush that had been holding me prisoner and swatted at it. 'Get it off, get it off,' I yelled at no one in particular. The thing buzzed, wings vibrating into life, and flew off my arm, thank _God. _My shoulder itched, and I scratched it, feeling more than a little silly. I had the strangest feeling, as though someone was watching –

I turned. Oh crap.

_Me. _

The figure-hugging black tunic she wore looked surprisingly practical. The corners of a red mouth were curled upwards in amusement. Her eyes were dark, harsh and reflective. I couldn't identify their colour. She looked older than me, about eighteen or nineteen. She was tapping one booted foot, raising little clouds of dust.

'And here I was thinking there was an assassin hiding in that bush.' She had the sort of coolly sarcastic voice designed specifically for making lesser people like me feel small. Not that that was a very difficult thing to do at the moment. 'I would have killed you, little girl, do you know that?'

I stepped back cautiously, out of the bush. I looked around. I must have been hit by a car – but this didn't look like _any _of the suburbs near St. Helena's. I couldn't see anything except for trees and bushes and dust. And her. What had happened? Nothing looked familiar, I hadn't been here before –

And then it hit me, in a long sick rush, and I had a sudden urge to vomit.

I'd flipped out. Again. I was hallucinating; I'd gone crazy again after all my efforts to make myself appear sane so I could be normal again – And now I was going to have to go back. Back there. No. No. Oh, please no.

I wanted to scream, rip the hallucination out of my head, take it all away. But I couldn't. I had a sudden, horrifying mental image of the driver of the car – some middle-aged woman dropping her kids of to school – leaning over me and jerking back as my unconscious body began to scream. No, I couldn't do that. All I could do was go along with it. Go along with the nightmare, and try not to give it any more of myself than was necessary.

I breathed.

She spoke to me again. 'What, can't you talk, little mouse? Don't you have a name?' Her nose wrinkled.

I squared my shoulders. 'Yes. I've – got a name.' My voice sounded unsatisfactorily shaky. I cast around mentally for a name, and found one from a book I'd read not so long ago.

'Nemi. What's it to you?'

The woman smiled. 'Jun. Not that you need to know.'

I heard a shifting behind me, a rustling, like the motion of some sort of giant beast – Something wet stung my ankle, and I fell, swallowed by lead paint again.


	4. Release

Yeah, that's right. I got really bored over the uni break and wrote like five chapters. Muahahahahahaha!!! The next few are dedicated to my karate instructor, because he is freakin' awesome.

Vivisection

Chapter 4 - Release

Slowly my eyes blurred into consciousness.

I blinked a couple of times, and then sat up, carefully. I didn't want to pass out again.

The insides of my eyelids felt red, raw and itchy. I rubbed at my eyes, hoping the feeling would pass soon. It was then that I noticed my glasses were missing. I looked around in vain and in panic - if I hadn't been so scared of losing them, I would have laughed. I couldn't see well enough to pick out anything except the colours of the room I was in.

I was lying on a bed, still in my jeans and shirt. That was a relief - no one had tried to change my clothes. The bed felt pretty basic, not much more than a mattress and thin blanket made of some sort of coarse cloth. No five hundred thread count sheets for me. The room itself was a nondescript sort of brownish colour, with a window to the left - light was coming out that way. I swung my feet over the side of the bed. Floorboards, not carpet. The woman who had - drugged? Poisoned? - me hadn't gone out of her way to keep me comfortable, but it was better than a prison cell.

My ankle bumped into something hard and I swore. I reached my hand out, only seeing a block of colour. From the feel of it, it was a table. I ran my fingers over the top of it - still no glasses.

Something clicked, which I assumed was the door, and a person-shaped blur walked in. I saw the black hair and outfit, the pale skin - or the colours of them at least - and guessed it was the woman. Jun, she had said her name was.

'Where are my glasses?' I demanded, panicky.

Jun laughed. 'Calm down. I took them to the glassblower to get them repaired. Luckily he owes me a favour or you'd be stuck with the crack. I'm not going to spend money on you.'

'A _glassblower?'_ Great. I was going to get my glasses back in a lump of melted lens and frame.

The thought of losing my clear sight, for however long I was stuck in this bizarre dream/hallucination/fantasy, got the better of me. Against my will, my eyes grew damp and hot as well as myopic. Damn. I hated crying. I could just imagine how this would look to anyone watching my body on a hospital bed. Assuming I'd been taken to a hospital by now and wasn't just the victim of a hit-and-run.

That thought only made it worse. Angrily, I rubbed at my face.

'Stop that. You'll get them back soon enough. And I won't get anything for you if the buyer comes in here and your face is swollen like that,' Jun snapped. She dumped something on the bed - something green - and stood up.

Some of what she said managed to sink in. I was being sold? 'Buyer?' I asked, straightening.

'Actually there's two of them, and you need to be wearing this before they get here or I'll use my whip on you. But you don't need to know any more than that.' With that, she turned.

I stood up. 'Like hell I don't!' But she had already left the room, closing the door behind her. Something made me suspect she wouldn't be dumb enough to leave it unlocked. I tried anyway, with no joy, and turned instead towards the window. That looked promising, although obviously I had to wait for any escape attempt until Jun brought me my glasses back. There didn't seem to be any lock on it and as far as my impaired eyesight could tell, it was only on the second floor of wherever we were. Admittedly that was still a good four metres down, but I was pretty sure I could handle it. I took karate classes, had been taking them for a while and was actually due to grade for my black belt soon, and taking a fall was one of the first things my instructor had taught us how to do.

That led to another thought - how badly had the crash damaged my real body? Automatically I looked down, but of course that was no indication. What if I was now paraplegic, or even quadriplegic?

I stood still as the implications of that fun scenario hit me. My instructor, who hated his formal title 'Shihan' - master in Japanese - had told my class a story of a one-legged man who had his second dan black belt. But there couldn't be any hope for someone in a wheelchair. I would never compete in another tournament. Never get my Shodan, my black belt. I had trained so hard for that grading, run for months to develop the stamina needed to last through it, earned myself purple bruises and even a greenstick fracture in my arm in sparring because I was preparing myself for the fifteen fights which were required for any applicant for Shodan.

I snapped out of it. I had no way of knowing that I'd been injured in any way, so there was no point in worrying about it. Instead I walked over to the other side of the room, to the clothing lying on the bed.

By crouching close enough to it I could tell it was a dress. I saw no reason not to put it on - I had to keep Jun happy until she saw fit to return my glasses. I slid out of my jeans and shirt, feeling a little self-conscious since the window was open and any Peeping Tom who'd looked across could have seen me. I lifted the dress over my head and pulled it down.

'Oh crap,' I muttered. I'd never been good with dresses. I didn't wear too many of them. A lot of hair was now in my eyes and mouth. Eventually, I managed to get the thing to sit on me.

My first thought was that she had gotten me something that was two sizes too small. Everything past my waist was fine - the skirt was pale green and very long and loose. What was the trouble was my chest.

I won't be delicate about it - I'm pretty well-endowed in that area and usually try to hide it with loose shirts. This generally works well, especially if they're guys' shirts, which is why I tend to wear a lot of oversize band shirts and big hooded jumpers that make me look like an extra from a hip-hop video. This dress was the other end of the scale. The top part was tight, dark green, and shiny. It had a scoop neck, which would have been okay on a petite girl who was a couple of cup sizes smaller than me. I had never been fat, but I didn't diet either - I ate what I felt like when I felt like it. Kyokushin karate fighting tournaments are organised into weight divisions, like boxing, and I was tall for a girl, which meant that unless I became a skeleton I was always going to be a heavyweight. The cutoff between middleweight and heavyweight was around sixty-five kilograms, which was me when I'd been ill and hadn't eaten well for a few weeks, which wasn't often.

This dress had been designed for a girl who wasn't tall for her age, didn't do Kyokushin or anything that might give her body mass, and didn't have big breasts. I started trying to adjust the top of the thing, which didn't work well. It made an ominous tearing noise and I stopped. Jun would be unhappy, to say the least, if I wrecked her dress.

The door opened again and Jun stepped in. 'Good. You're dressed, but get rid of this thing.' She tugged at my bra, which had been exposed in the nasty dress. 'It's coming out the top.'

I blushed. 'But -' I was about to explain to her why not wearing support was something I _just didn't do, _for obvious reasons, when she pulled it off me. The clasp - traitorous thing - came undone all by itself.

I hastily tugged the neck of the dress up, trying to cover myself. When that didn't work, I folded my arms around my chest. Jun pulled them down. 'Stop it,' she hissed.

I saw the reason for her tension when the door opened and another woman stepped in. 'Arms behind your back. Don't move unless she asks you to. And _don't _talk,' Jun whispered, and then stepped aside. I obeyed.

This woman had dark reddish hair and smelt very strongly of perfume. She was wearing something green and gold and shiny which sounded expensive when it brushed the floor. She walked over to me, very quickly and decisively, and I felt her looking me up and down.

'Can she do anything?' she asked Jun, and I instantly hated her voice. It was high and nasal and grated on my nerves.

Jun nodded at me, and I realised this was my cue to speak. I wasn't really sure what to say - telling this woman that I was the Australian Kyokushin Female Heavyweight Colts Division champion three years in a row seemed like the wrong thing to do.

'I can paint,' I said, surprised at the normalcy in my voice. 'I can sing as well.' I was unsure about adding that last one. I wasn't even sure if my singing voice was any good. I had the sudden horrified thought that she might ask me to demonstrate.

Thankfully, the unknown woman just nodded and left it at that. She walked around me in a circle, and I had the uncomfortable feeling she was inspecting me, like I was a cow. I was suddenly very conscious of my body, of the material cutting into my shoulders.

'The hair is an unusual colour,' she said, winding a streak of it around her finger, as if I was a Barbie doll. 'Unusual but pleasing to the eye. The colouring of the eyes is also good, very blue.'

I felt more like cattle than ever, and had no idea what to say.

'The nose is a little too prominent, but that can be masked,' she continued. 'The lips are very full, very sensual. Also good.'

I had a sneaking suspicion of where this was going, but my brain didn't let me think of that possibility.

'Chin is too small, teeth are a little crooked. She is a little too tall, as well. Men don't like that. But her body more than makes up for that.' Her eyes moved over me again, and I knew beyond a doubt that she was picturing me naked. I looked down at myself, at what she was seeing, and saw my breasts pushing up past the neck of the dress. At that moment I knew exactly what this woman was buying me for, and I gasped quietly.

'How much do you want for her?'

Jun looked at me, considering. 'Five hundred gold.'

The woman drew in air sharply through her teeth. From this I guessed that five hundred gold was a lot of money - for buying a prostitute, at least. There was a long pause, and then eventually she spoke.

'Girl, are you a virgin?'

My initial reaction was to blush again. Then my logical side kicked in. There was a correct answer to this question, in this woman's mind, but I had no idea what it was. I decided to forget any possibility of lying to my own advantage and told the truth.

'I…Sort of.'

Jun stepped in. 'Nemi,' she said, very low, 'it's not a difficult question. Have you been with a man or not?'

'Yes and no,' I said.

'It can't be both. Either you have or you haven't. Now which is it?' She was getting pretty pissed off with me, I could tell. Which meant I would have to explain, which meant awkwardness.

'I tried, with…with someone,' I said quickly, glossing over it, over him. 'It hurt me and he stopped.'

The red-haired woman clicked her tongue. 'You're asking five hundred gold for her? When a man pays for female company, he won't stop if it hurts her. He'll get what he's paid for, and then when she screams rape it'll be me who has to deal with the guard.'

I couldn't see but I could feel Jun glaring at me.

'Good day,' the woman said, walking out of the room. Jun paused to dump something on the table next to me before running out after her, attempting to haggle.

I glanced down at the object, and then when that failed I brushed it with my fingertips.

Wire frames.

I unfolded them eagerly, putting them on the bridge of my nose. At least the glassblower had known what he was doing.

Then I darted over to the window. No time to lose. Thank God Jun hadn't made me wear silly shoes. I glanced at my jeans with longing and regret, but stuffed my bra down the dress.

I swung my legs over the windowsill, all business now. My feet found a wooden beam and followed it almost of their own accord. I crouched, grabbed the beam with my fingertips, and dropped down onto another one. This one was only two metres above the ground, so I dropped catlike onto my feet. My toes stung a little from the impact, but they'd seen worse.

I straightened and looked around. I was in some kind of stable. There was straw everywhere and a horse. No, wait, there was no way this thing was a horse. It looked more like a crazy genetic experiment than anything else. It had a beak, for Christ's sake. A beak and - I looked underneath the door of its stall - six legs. Which ended in what looked like chicken feet.

I made a decision and ran over to it, opening the door. It blinked at me. 'Hey, mutant horsy thing, you look like you trust me and you don't smell as bad as a real horse,' I said, patting its beak. 'Want to give carrying me a go?'

It honked, and I guessed that was the closest thing I was going to get to consent. I sidestepped it, swung a leg over its middle, and hopped on. I'd ridden a pony at a carnival once and even then as a screaming eight-year-old. I wasn't about to let that on.

I squeezed with my knees - did that make it go? - and the horse with a beak started forward in a lopsided canter. I rode out of the stable and saw Jun and the red-haired woman who'd come to buy me at the front door of the place arguing.

They saw me and the red-haired woman sniffed. 'You didn't even have her tamed,' she said.

Jun's mouth hung open.

I raised my hand in the one-finger salute. '_Fuck yoooooooou!_' I yelled. Random passers-by stared at me in horror. Obviously that was an obscenity in dream-land too. Awesome.

It was quite a small town, and it didn't take me long to ride out of it. Soon me and the bird-horse were galloping over a hill. It was windy and I didn't even care about how tight and revealing the dress was. I had it pulled up over my thighs to make it easier for me to ride. I probably looked like an escaped hooker even more now.

I laughed at that, and the sound carried. For the first time in a long time, I was sort of almost happy, even though I wasn't sure how much of it was adrenalin rush.

Now I just had to wait to wake up.


	5. Hand of Sorrow

Vivisection

Chapter 6 - Hand of Sorrow

The Fire Nation had stopped wearing white more than a year ago, but its people were still in mourning. This would seem strange if it weren't for the fact that there was quite a simple explanation.

The Nation followed the wishes of the Fire Lord, and if the Fire Lord was in mourning, so was his country.

When he came to power Fire Lord Zuko had been perhaps the youngest ever ruler of the Fire Nation, at only seventeen. He had also been the most full of promise. Quite soon after his coronation, only three months in fact, he had married Mai, who had become Fire Lady. The two of them had been happy together. Some weeks later, there were even rumours of a pregnancy, which filled the people of the Fire Nation with joy. Eagerly anticipating the announcement of the impending arrival of a new prince or princess, they and their country continued to grow and thrive under what some had dubbed the Fire Nation's golden age.

The golden age had been fleeting before its descent into a black symphony.

Fire Lord Zuko sat in the imperial garden, watching the turtle ducks. The water rippled and splashed around them as they fought, mothers guarding children against drakes, drakes attacking each other and trying to get at the ducklings.

He no longer wore white. His uncle had told him that it was important to send a message of hope, of the future, to the people. Frankly, Zuko had no desire to argue, or even to care.

The Fire Nation's noble families had waited a patient six weeks after Mai's death, waiting until the white of mourning no longer appeared at court. Then they had begun, subtly and stealthily, to ply him with their eligible young daughters. Zuko had lost count of the number of young women who had flirted in vain with him over the past year. He knew that it wouldn't stop. There was an empty place in the Fire Nation's court, a hole to be filled, a position of power. Positions of power never remained empty for long.

Everyone was urging him to remarry, even his generals, who argued that a family and heir were signs of stability needed to maintain the age of peace. The only person who had said nothing of the matter was Iroh, who always remained tactfully silent on the subject of Mai and of marriage.

Zuko ruminated with some bitterness on the fact that the same people who were trying to take Mai's place were hell-bent on pretending she had never existed. To them, a suicide was nothing but a source of illicit gossip and considered more than anything else bad manners. A suicide couldn't be discussed, couldn't be picked over behind hands and curtains, because a suicide was a taboo.

He tried not to think about it. If he had been the one to discover Mai's body, wrists torn and bloody, perhaps he could have found some kind of closure, perhaps he would have been able to - not forget her, but live in the light instead of the shadows of the past, maybe.

He tried not to wonder why, because that would only lead to insanity. He tried very, very hard not to ask himself what had been wrong with him, what had been so dreadfully and irrevocably wrong in her life that the only form of escape she could see was death. Most of all, he tried not to think about why he, the one who was closest to her, the one who had loved her for fuck's sake, had failed to see it. Why he hadn't been able to make it better. Why she hadn't stayed alive for him.

Instead, Zuko watched the ducks. He watched the ducks and tried to think of his mother. After Mai's death he had gone down to his father's cell every day, questioning him obsessively, as if by finding his mother he would make everything better, or at least okay. That had yielded nothing.

Zuko tried to comfort himself with the fact that maybe, just maybe, she was alive somewhere, and she still thought of him.

His uncle was away, travelling in search of Ursa, or, he said, of someone who might help them find her. Zuko didn't hold out much hope there.

He had to search the entire world for her. He wondered briefly how many people there were in the world. Millions, maybe billions. And she was just one, out of all those people.

The thought that he might never see her again brought back the deep melancholy he had tried to stay away from ever since Mai had killed herself. That state of mind was like swampy ground after rain - it sucked at you and didn't let go.

_No, _he thought to himself, _I will find her. She said that everything she had done, she did for me. I need to repay that. _

He knew, at least the selfish part of him did, that he was doing this as much for himself as he was for her. Zuko suspected Iroh knew it too, but if he did, he was keeping silent.

Iroh was due back soon - at least he had said he would be back by early summer. Zuko hoped so. He didn't allow himself the most foolish of hopes, which was that Iroh would come back with Ursa.

He just sat and watched the turtle ducks, just as he had done with his mother so many years ago.


	6. Saiha

Vivisection

Chapter 7 - Saiha

I sat on the grass next to the ditch, my head in my hands.

It was getting dark. The sky was a worrying shade of bluish-purple, the sun going down in the west in a blaze of orange. Smoke was drifting up in bluish-white tendrils from the town nearby, obviously from people's candles and cooking fires.

As I smelt the smoke on the breeze, my stomach growled. I rubbed my arms, shivering. I was cold in the thin dress, and cursed the lack of foresight which had left my jeans and shirt behind.

Essentially the facts were: that I was cold and hungry, it would be getting dark soon, I had no money and nowhere to sleep, my butt was sore from riding all day, and there was no guarantee that the Jun woman wasn't out looking for me.

I stood and paced. The bird-horse let out a bleat. I patted its neck. 'Sorry, horsey,' I said. 'I bet she would have had you nice and warm in your stable by now.'

It pulled away from me and bleated again. It was then that I realised I could hear approaching voices. _Stupid, _I thought to myself. _Sitting so close to the road. _

I ducked down the side of the road, out of sight, as the owners of the voices approached. The bird-horse followed me, moving further down. I was lucky, incredibly lucky, that there was a ditch here. Now I just had to be lucky enough not to be discovered.

I heard footsteps - heavy footsteps, men I guessed. They had gotten near enough for their conversation to have formed intelligible words.

'Your wife can't be too happy with you,' one of them said. 'Watching drunk old men punching each other all night instead of being home for dinner.'

'Among other things,' another one chuckled. The first one laughed at the innuendo.

'It won't be as good as the Earth Rumble tournament, but it'll be something to keep me awake,' another voice said. 'I thought about competing, but chances are I'll just get my teeth knocked out.'

'I'm going in it,' the second man said. 'I mean, what have I got to lose? Free entry, prize money, and fame throughout the Earth Kingdom.'

'Picked out a ring name?' the third voice asked.

'Hell no. Need a big ego to do that.'

The men continued walking, their voices gradually dying away.

I rubbed the bird-horse's beak. 'Hey, buddy,' I murmured to it. 'I've got a crazy idea. Want to tell me what an idiot I am?'

The bird-horse snuffled at my hand.

_What the hell, _ I thought. Hopefully this tournament was in the town nearby. Free entry was definitely a plus. And if I managed to get the prize money…I shook my head. In the state I was in, I'd be lucky to avoid getting my face punched in by some one hundred kilo bikie type. Not that this dream world of mine seemed to have bikies.

I made up my mind. I mounted the bird-horse and we rode into town.

I tied my horse up at the front of the building - knowing my luck, someone would make off with him - and swallowed. It was a big arena-type thing, Chinese-looking architecture with green and gold paint. The paint was flaking off a little in places, but it was hardly visible in the little available light.

I'd seen a lot of people walking in, all men. What if they didn't let me compete because I was a woman?

_Focus, Lisana, _I thought to myself, walking in the door. Almost immediately I saw a desk, behind which there was a man in what looked like a green concierge's uniform. Behind him was a small, shabby-looking door.

'Registering competitor?' he asked me.

I nodded and stepped towards him.

'You got here just in time,' he told me. 'Five more minutes and registrations are closed. Name?'

I nearly said _Lisana _and my heart skipped a beat. 'Nemi Turunen,' I said, and then too late thought _Damn, I've just made it easier for Jun if she does try to find me. _

The man looked me up and down, and sighed through his teeth. 'Place of residence?' he said, as if he knew already.

I paused, and then produced a name I'd heard mentioned among the other competitors. 'Ba Sing Se.'

'You rich city girls, you never come prepared to this thing,' he muttered. 'Have you got some loose pants or something?'

I swallowed. 'No.'

The man turned, opened the door and yelled into it. 'Kurosaki, get me a training uniform.' He looked back at me. 'Ring name?'

This I'd already considered. 'Saiha,' I said, with confidence.

That got a totally unexpected reaction. He narrowed his eyes and leant forward.

'Are you shitting me, girl?'

'No,' I replied. 'Definitely not.'

He shook his head. 'Anyone who lists their ring name as _Maximum Destruction _is either very good, or very stupid and arrogant with it. Either way, you're asking to get your arse kicked.' He looked at me as if he expected me to change my mind after that revelation.

I stood resolute.

He sighed, and gave in. '_Nemi Turunen, fighting as Saiha,_' he mouthed as he wrote. The door opened again and a taller man with a beard and dark hair, who I assumed was Kurosaki, passed out something which looked quite similar to my karate gi. He looked me up and down and snorted. 'Maximum Destruction, huh?'

I ignored him. 'I guess you get a lot of 'rich city girls' coming here for kicks, yeah?' I said, addressing the concierge man, who nodded.

'And most of them get their pretty faces broken in the first round,' interjected Kurosaki.

I glared at both of them. 'Well, get this. I don't have a penny to my name. I'm here for my prize money.'

'Might have to watch her fight, eh, Tan?' Kurosaki said, regarding me with something like respect. 'See if she can put her money where her mouth is.'

'Is there somewhere I can go to stretch and warm up?' I asked.

Tan nodded. 'Just go down this hall. That's where the other competitors are waiting. The fights start in an hour.'

I thanked him and followed his directions. As I walked, I realised that I had no idea what the rules of the bouts of fighting were, or how opponents were chosen. Hopefully I could find someone to ask. If I couldn't, I supposed I would just fight using Kyokushin rules.

I came to another door at the end of the hallway, which I opened. The room beyond was full of men, and, I noticed, one woman. Many of the men were stretching, exercising, or even just chatting and comparing biceps. I walked across the room to the woman.

She was in her thirties, or so I guessed, dressed in loose brown pants and a tunic. She was standing with the knee of her right leg to her chest, stretching the muscles out. Her hair, tied into a loose plait, hung down her back.

'How you doing?' she asked, placing her leg back on the ground.

'All right, I guess,' I said with a shrug. 'This is my first time here. I've no idea how it goes.'

'City girl, huh?' she asked, eyeing my dress.

'Yeah. But not here for kicks,' I replied, looking her in the eye.

To my surprise, she laughed and shook my hand. 'You might want to change out of those clothes,' she said.

'Is there anywhere I can do that?' I asked, looking around at the men in the room.

She waved her hand dismissively. 'Just go in the corner and turn your back. They'll look away, they're all right.'

I did as she told me. The training clothes were loose on me, slightly too big, obviously belonging to a man. I pulled the drawstrings on the pants as tight as they would go and rolled up the arms and legs. I walked back to where the woman was standing.

'I'm Nemi, by the way,' I said.

'I'm Sakura. I don't bother with a ring name. You?'

I shrugged. 'I chose Saiha.'

She looked at me hard. 'You really think you're that good?'

'I hope so,' I admitted.

With that, she seemed to decide I was all right. 'You're going to want to be good, with a ring name like that,' she replied.

'Yeah, that's what the guy who registered me said.'

She laughed again. 'Tan? He doesn't bother to ask my name any more. I've been coming here for years, ever since my husband died.'

'I'm sorry,' I said, because it seemed like the appropriate thing to do.

'Don't be. The best thing he ever did was leave me for a Ba Sing Se whore. The ten years I spent with him were just a whole bunch of bruises and broken limbs. He tried it with the whore and she stabbed him in the gut. I found out because the Dai Li notified me by mail.' She stated it matter-of-factly. 'Anyway, that's why I'm here. I didn't want to be anyone's punching bag, ever again.'

'That's something my instructor used to say to me,' I said. 'You're nobody's punching bag, give as good as you get.'

Sakura smiled. 'Sounds like a smart guy.'

'So how exactly does this work?' I asked.

'Ever been to Earth Rumble?' she responded.

I shook my head. 'It's done in elimination rounds,' she explained. 'Everyone's opponents are chosen at random for the first round. The fights go, one at a time, and then the winners of each fight proceed to the next round. The opponents are chosen at random each time, but they try not to put the same people together more than once.'

'How do you win? By knockout, or what?'

'That's one of the ways you can win. If you knock someone out, the referee will count to ten and if they don't get up, you win the fight. The other way is by inability to fight. If you do so much damage to your opponent that they can't fight properly and the referee thinks that your opponent will get seriously hurt if the fight continues, he'll call the match in your favour. Otherwise, you fight opponents in two-minute rounds, and the referee decides who landed the most attacks, who caused the most damage. Then that person wins.'

'What are the rules of the fighting?' I asked.

Sakura continued. 'There are three illegal zones where you can't hit, strike or kick. That's the spine, the back of the head and the groin. You also can't punch to the face or the head - only kicking. They introduced the groin rule because all the spoilt city girls who came in would kick to the groin straightaway when fighting a man, because it was all they knew how to do. You'd get them winning fights and making it to the semi-finals because they knew that if you kick a guy in the balls hard enough, he ends up semi-conscious and puking on the floor.' She scowled.

There was a rapping at the door, and Tan walked in. 'All right, listen up. These are the rounds and sets of opponents. If you're in round number one, you're going first - if you're in two, second and so on. Listen carefully, because if you don't step out to fight, you lose the fight by default.' He read out names and numbers, and eventually came to me.

'Round thirteen, Saiha versus Lightning Strike.'

_Thirteen, _ I thought. _Lucky number. _

When Tan had finished he spoke again. 'I'm sure everyone's aware of the no-bending rule this year, but I'll reiterate.' His eyes hardened. '_Anyone _caught bending within the arena will be disqualified. No second chances, no nothing. You're out. Same deal with the normal rules. Kurosaki and I will be policing them, as well as the no-bending rule. Last year some competitors thought they were special and deserved an exception to the rules.' He stared at everyone in the room.

Sakura had gone back to stretching. 'Bending?' I asked.

She looked up. 'No earth or fire, as unlikely as that last one is. Obviously there'll be no water in the arena, and we all know there's only one airbender. You're not a bender, are you?'

I wondered if I should tell her that I had no idea what she was talking about. 'Um…no,' I replied.

She returned to the exercise she was doing, and I sat down, pulling my leg out and stretching my calf and thigh muscles.

I really, really hoped that this wouldn't backfire on me. Knowing my luck, it would.


	7. Watch and Learn

Vivisection

Chapter 7 - Watch and Learn

The most skilled and respected general in the Fire Nation - not to mention the most trusted and highly ranked by the Fire Lord - settled in his seat and sipped the cup of herbal tea he'd paid for at the concession stand near the door. He made a face. _Cold _and _poorly brewed, _he thought.

Iroh hadn't wished to attract attention throughout his trip, so he had decided to go incognito as an Earth Kingdom citizen. He had to admit that he preferred the soft greens and browns preferred by the people of the Earth Kingdom to the stiff red, black and gold clothing favoured by the Fire Nation. It was far easier for him to travel unrecognised than it was for poor Zuko, whose disfiguring facial scar was now a source of legend rather than infamy and gossip.

Not that the words 'poor' and 'Zuko' could be used in conjunction in the Fire Lord's hearing. Iroh smiled, but the smile disappeared just as quickly as it had arrived. Perhaps the old Zuko would have objected, even gone into one of his incoherent rages. That would have been preferable to the apathy which he now expressed in response to anything and everything.

To tell the truth, Iroh no longer held out much hope of finding Princess Ursa. She was likely to be either dead or deep in hiding by now. Anyone who had escaped the death grip of Ozai would have made very sure to cover their tracks. He was searching for a cure for Zuko's depression.

He was very careful to say nothing on the subject, but he hoped that someday Zuko would meet someone else, fall in love, remarry and produce children. He wanted to say _It's too late for me, but not for you_. But he couldn't, because he knew how the proposal would be met - with hurt, a sense of betrayal and eventually rejection. Zuko believed that Iroh was the only one on his side, a belief which would very quickly disappear if Iroh did what everyone else was doing and told him he should start again.

Iroh had no idea how to fix this, or even start to make it better. He himself had lost a son, but had no idea of the nature of the pain caused by the loss of a partner, particularly since Mai had killed herself rather than choose to be with Zuko.

The noise level in the arena increased marginally, and Iroh deduced that the fights were due to begin soon. He had no idea why he had chosen to come to the tournament. Boredom, maybe? Loneliness, hopelessness?

More like just an old man being morbid. Iroh smiled again.

The first bout began. Iroh watched. Many of these men had poor stances, poor technique, poor stamina, and the winner was a close call not because of equal skill but equal incompetence. He felt sorry for them, because they would get mowed down in the second round by more skilled opponents and have no idea what they had done wrong.

The bouts continued, some of the competitors a cut above average but still none that were really outstanding. Iroh was half-asleep when round thirteen began and the sight of a young woman walking into the arena caused him to open his eyes.

Female competitors in events such as these were not unheard of, but few had the audacity to give themselves fighting names like Saiha.

The girl had curious hair, a pale brown which was really more like a burnished gold. She was tall for a woman, and she moved like a fighter, weight balanced and guards up. Iroh guessed her to be about eighteen, maybe slightly younger. Her opponent was a lean, lightly built man who looked like he was in his twenties. He grinned at her. It wasn't a friendly grin; it was a lecherous grin, an "Oh, look, it's a girl who thinks she can play with the boys" grin.

Iroh had no opportunity to judge his fighting skill, because as soon as the referee indicated the start of the match, the girl's right leg swung up and cracked down on the top of the arrogant man's head in an axe kick. He crumpled to the ground, and Iroh spotted a dark glistening of blood at his temple. The referee stood above him and began the obligatory count of ten, but it was clear that the man would need a lot more than ten seconds to stand.

'Knockout,' called the referee, and Saiha left the ring, not acknowledging the audience, most of whom had risen up in cheers.

Iroh stared in astonishment. He barely paid attention to the last three bouts of the first round of matches.

The second round began, which held sixteen competitors and eight fights. They were fortunate to have obtained a number of competitors which was so neatly divided by two, Iroh noted before the fights began.

This time the woman Saiha was placed in the second fight. The burly man in his thirties fighting her, who had a good sixty pounds on her in weight, warily held up his arms in front of his face. Obviously he had watched the demise of Lightning Strike and had no desire to let her axe kick anywhere near his head.

Saiha slid forward with one foot, feinting with that hand. Her opponent blocked it with ease but didn't see the kick heading directly towards his solar plexus. It hit him squarely. He took a step forward and collapsed on his front. The referee counted to ten and Saiha scored another knockout.

The third round of fights began - the quarter-finals. A woman in brown with a long dark plait down her back fell to a massively built, muscular man calling himself the Boulder, and Saiha fought a tall man with muscles like ropes in his arms and legs. He was felled like a tree when she hit him with a combination of two hook punches to the ribs. The Boulder took down another opponent in the semi-finals, and Saiha won her fight not through knockout, but through inability of her opponent to fight - she incapacitated his legs with sweeping kicks to the thighs. A minute into the fight, he could barely stand, and sank to his knees more than once. The referee called off the fight when the man cried out in pain as Saiha landed another kick.

Iroh watched as the Boulder and Saiha walked into the arena for the final match. He couldn't help but wonder how the fight would end. Saiha clearly had skill, but fighting a larger, stronger opponent who was also skilled took talent and an adapted way of fighting.

The referee called the beginning of the match, and both the young woman and the behemoth of a man shifted forward.


	8. Helping Hand

Vivisection

Chapter 8 - Helping Hand

I gulped audibly as he walked onto the floor. He was easily twice my weight, probably more. I'd fought bigger opponents in the preliminary rounds, but this guy…The Boulder. He was a fighter, unlike the others. His size made his technique more powerful, but wasn't the sole source of it.

In other words, he was quite capable of flattening and kicking the shit out of me. I really hoped that wouldn't happen.

He slid forward, eyes fixed on me. It was like watching the implacable bumper bar of a rapidly approaching Mack truck. I wanted badly to throw myself out of the way.

Instead, I shifted forward. Shihan had taught me how to fight opponents who were bigger and heavier than me. _Don't advance on them, because you'll be swatted away like a fly. Wear them down gradually, don't go for one big powerful technique which will ultimately fail. If you're smaller and lighter use that to your advantage - dance circles around them, don't let them come straight at you or back you into a corner. Don't be afraid to use nastier techniques. _

I launched a volley of punches at his abdomen, which he didn't even bother to block. I aimed a hook towards the ribs which he swept aside. He swung one huge fist towards my collarbone, which I deflected using an elbow block. I turned the elbow block into a strike, which collided beautifully with his solar plexus.

He grunted - I'd hurt him. That gave me confidence. I aimed a front kick at his solar plexus, which he deflected. I aimed for that spot with the same technique again, painting a look of frustration on my face.

_For this technique to work you've got to be able to lie with your face, _Shihan had said. _You've got to sell it. You've got to make your face say, 'Why can't I kick you in the guts?'_

I aimed for it yet again and he smirked. Obviously he thought I was getting tired and stupid. I prepared to throw my trick, the trick that would win the fight, because no matter how big and muscular and physically conditioned someone was, Shihan had said, they couldn't condition themselves against a roundhouse kick to the head - and then he lunged and spun simultaneously.

I recognised what he'd tried to do. It astonished and chastened me - I hadn't been expecting a kick from him. All his other fights had been won with fists.

He had tried to do a roundhouse kick coming from the back instead of the front, with the extra spin required to get it all the way around. Kyokushin called it _ushiro mawashi geri, _or back spinning roundhouse kick. He had landed badly and overbalanced. I recognised the twist of pain on his face too. That meant a sprained ankle or broken leg.

I did the only thing I could do - what Shihan had taught me to do in situations like this, when I could take an easy win because my opponent had performed a technique badly and fallen.

I squatted down beside him and lifted his big arm around my shoulders. 'Can you stand with your other leg?' I asked.

He nodded, and slowly I helped him up. I heard the audience make oohing and aahing noises but frankly I didn't care.

'Can you hold up the Boulder, little girl?' he asked, and I heard the jest in his voice.

I laughed. 'I think I can manage.'

I helped him walk to the side of the arena, behind the referee's seat, where there were a number of stools and such. I helped him sit, and he smiled at me. He held out his hand, and I shook it.

The referee tapped me on the shoulder. 'You could have won that with a knockout, you know,' he said.

'Yeah, and gone down as the biggest arse in the Earth Kingdom,' I said. 'You don't kick an opponent when he's down.'

The referee looked at me. 'Well, congratulations. You won that one on inability of your opponent to fight. And it was obvious to anyone with half a brain he didn't take that fall. You've just won a thousand gold pieces.'

The audience was cheering wildly, and the referee beckoned me. 'Come into the centre of the arena, so I can present you with the medal and prize money.'

As he put the medal around my neck - it was a heavy bronze affair with a square hole in the middle like a Chinese coin - he spoke again. 'I have to say that I'm surprised you won. It's actually the first time a woman's come first.'

'Thought I was just a city girl here for kicks, did you?' I asked.

'Well, yes.'

The Boulder was given his second place medal on the sidelines. I left the arena with my heavy bag of gold, wondering how long it would take me to get mugged -

'Wait!'

An old man, maybe between seventy and sixty, was moving towards me, an empty tea cup in his hand.

_Not long, obviously, _I thought.

'Saiha, is it?' he asked.

I nodded curtly.

'Your ostrich horse - it was tied out the front, wasn't it?'

All the blood drained out of my face. 'Some fucker's stolen it, haven't they?' I demanded, trying to push past him.

'No, nobody's stolen it. It had come untied and was wandering away. I merely - took it out the back and had it placed in my spot in the stable.'

Relief surged through me. 'Thanks, but…what about your horse?'

The old man smiled. 'I don't have one. I booked the spot in case I felt like buying one.'

I shrugged. 'Well, I'm very grateful to you and everything, but I really need to find somewhere to stay before someone decides to jump me and steal this.' I held up the bag. 'So if you'll take me to my horse, I'll be on my way.'

'Of course I will take you to your horse.' He led me outside. 'If you're worried about someone robbing you, you could always travel with me. It's not safe to travel alone, especially for a young woman.'

My scepticism must have shown on my face, because he laughed. 'It's understandable that you think this is a trick to steal your hard-won money. Let me assure you I would never do anything of the kind.'

We were at the stable, and he opened the door. My ostrich horse shuffled out, snuffling my hands and licking my fingers.

'How do I know I can trust you?' I asked.

The old man shrugged. 'A reasonable enough question. I could have made off with your horse. I could have pressed a knife to your throat as soon as we were outside and persuaded you to give me your money.'

I was unconvinced, despite the fact that all of the above was true.

'It may be rude to say this, but from my point of view your thousand gold pieces is more spare change than anything else.' He smiled at me. 'Can I trust you with a secret?'

I nodded. 'I guess I trusted you with my money and my ostrich horse.'

'I am the Fire Lord's uncle, General Iroh.'

I had no idea what he was talking about. 'Look,' I said, pleading, 'I've got no idea what that means. I'm…not from around here. You might have guessed.'

To my surprise, General Iroh didn't look at me as if I was a crazy person.

'Shall we get something to eat? And perhaps talk?' he suggested.

I methodically lifted the pastry things on my plate and put them in my mouth. Usually I was self-conscious about eating in front of people I didn't know, because eating was an awfully personal thing to do in front of a complete stranger, but now I was too hungry to care.

I took a sip of my tea. 'This is really good.'

'I'm glad you like it. This is ginseng tea - my favourite. I brewed it myself.'

Iroh was watching me intently. I had just told him my whole crazy story, the car accident, the capturing by Jun, my disorientation, everything. He in turn had explained this world to me - the countries which made it up, the people and governments who controlled everything, a brief history of recent events and the state the world was in now.

'My nephew Zuko,' he was saying now, 'is the current ruler of the Fire Nation, my home country. After the Avatar overthrew his father, Fire Lord Ozai, Zuko became Fire Lord.'

'So this Aang killed Ozai?' I asked, sipping my tea again.

'No,' Iroh said. 'Ozai is still alive, although locked in a high-security prison. The Avatar merely took away his bending.'

'Can you explain that bending stuff again?' I asked. Iroh had mentioned that the Avatar - a spiritual figure to the people of this world who was reincarnated into each of the different nations periodically - could 'bend' all four elements. I was still unclear as to what exactly that meant.

'Bending is the ability to control one of the four elements air, water, earth, or fire. In the Earth Kingdom, those born with bending abilities can manipulate earth. In the Fire Nation, benders can control fire, and so on. I myself am a firebender.'

'Oh.' I nodded. What Sakura had said in the training room made sense now. 'Can you show me?' I asked, curious.

Iroh smiled. 'Not now. I am travelling incognito, as you may have guessed, and don't wish to draw attention to myself. Or to anger innkeepers by burning down their inns. So what is your name? Or would you prefer me to call you Saiha?'

I swallowed. 'My name is Lisana…where I come from,' I said. 'But I've been using the name Nemi Turunen.'

'I will call you Nemi, then.' He swirled the tea in his own cup.

'I don't understand,' I said. 'If Ozai is still alive how can your nephew take the throne? I thought the old ruler had to be dead before the heir could inherit in a monarchy.'  
'Dead, insane, or otherwise incapable of ruling,' Iroh sighed. 'In my brother's case he was considered incapable of ruling the Fire Nation. The Fire Lord has always been a firebender. When Ozai's bending was taken away the people of the Fire Nation would never have accepted him as a ruler.'

'I see,' I said, swirling my tea and taking another sip. 'So where do I come into all this? Why did you take an interest in me?'

'My nephew needs someone to help him,' Iroh said. 'A physical protector, for one thing. But mainly someone whom he can trust with affairs of state, someone who can be trusted to keep her mouth shut, someone who he can confide in as a friend.'

'So kind of like a personal advisor slash bodyguard,' I mused. 'And you think I fit the bill?'

'I think you could.'

'Why is that?' I asked. 'Is it because I fight well?'

Iroh shook his head. 'What decided me was the way you helped that man stand after he fell and hurt his leg. You could have taken a win, could have knocked him unconscious. But you helped him. My nephew did a similar thing once. It was during an Agni Kai, which is a firebending duel of honour. He defeated his opponent and could have killed or permanently scarred him, which is what is usually done. Instead he let the man live.' Iroh breathed in. 'That same man turned around ten seconds later and tried to kill Zuko with a firebending blast. Some time later, in an icy ocean where a monster had this man in its grasp, Zuko held out his hand to try to save him. The man chose to die.'

'You're trying to tell me that Zuko is a good person, and you think I am too,' I said slowly.

'Yes.'

'Your nephew's going through a bad time, isn't he?' I mused. 'He's alone and won't talk to anyone but you know he needs help.'

'Yes.'

'You really care about him, don't you?' I asked.

'Yes.'

'In that case,' I smiled, 'I'd be happy to help.'


	9. Secrets and Doors

Thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to read this thing. I discovered that you could look up how many hits your story has gotten and found a total of 253.

253 people liked my story enough to bother reading it! This makes me so very happy. Massive thank yous.

Vivisection

Chapter 9 – Secrets and Doors

I had decided that I liked the Fire Nation much better than the Earth Kingdom. True to its name it was much warmer, almost tropical. Despite that many of the people were pale-skinned, with dark hair and eyes. Iroh had already told me that the Fire Nation consisted of a series of islands – showed me a picture of them on a map.

We had stopped to buy me clothes. Iroh had tried to pay for them but I had insisted on spending my tournament money. Much to my surprise the red skirt and top I had bought had only eaten into one of the thousand gold coins. I guessed that perhaps a gold piece was this world's equivalent of an Australian fifty-dollar note. Which meant that I had a very dizzying amount of money in my possession. I tried not to think about that too much. For some reason, it made me feel like something of a fraud. Had I been back at the arena I probably would have given the Boulder half my earnings.

The top showed my navel, which I wasn't too happy about, and was more close-fitting than the stuff I usually wore. _What the hell, _I thought. _It's comfortable and I need to blend in. _

As it was Iroh and I were attracting a lot of stares as we walked to the palace. 'They're only staring because I'm the Fire Lord's uncle,' he said, but I caught eyes flicking over my hair. I cursed the fact that I was blonde – it made me stick out like a sore thumb. If I had black or brown hair I wouldn't have been anywhere near as noticeable.

'Isn't there any less conspicuous way we can get there?' I asked, nervous.

'Don't worry,' he replied. 'Once we're inside the palace walls, you won't have to worry about people staring.'

I found out why when we reached the gate, which was what looked like solid steel or iron painted with a gold tulip-shaped flame. There were ten guards standing in front of it, all of whom were wearing red-and-black armour with helmets. I wanted to ask if they were benders but somehow whispering in front of them seemed like asking for trouble.

'General Iroh, sir,' one of them said, bowing deeply. Another one called out an order and the gate slowly began to winch open. The Fire Nation citizens who had been following us moved backwards to a respectful distance, and we were let in.

I felt more than a little apprehensive as the gates moved shut behind me. _To keep them out, or us in? _I wondered, and then smiled at the clichéd thought. We walked further. The palace grounds were unexpectedly pretty. I remembered Iroh going over the Fire Nation's history when we were on the ship carrying us from the Earth Kingdom, and was surprised that three generations of ruthless conquerors had appreciated things like gardens and fountains. There were red paper lanterns with gold characters which I recognised as kanji on them strung up over the garden. That made me think of the Shodan belt I would have been grading for soon – when a student obtained a black belt their name was embroidered in kanji on it. That made me feel sad.

We approached the palace building itself, which was massive, red and gold and imperious. Another guard at the door bowed and let us in.

'So I guess I'll be living here from now on,' I said, as we were walking along.

'Yes. I'm sure there is a spare room in the royal chambers,' Iroh said, and then he sighed. 'Of course there is,' he murmured to himself.

'Why? Did one of the royal family move away?' I asked, not daring to add _Or die? _to the end of that sentence.

'Zuko's sister, the Princess Azula, is currently undergoing treatment in a mental asylum,' Iroh replied. The way he said it seemed like he had been going to add more to the sentence, but then thought better of it.

_What is it you're not telling me? _I thought. _Is it to do with what's wrong with your nephew?_

We approached another door, and the man in front of it bowed. He too was dressed in a guard's uniform, but his was trimmed with gold.

'Greetings, General Iroh.' He looked at me. 'And this is...'

'The Fire Lord's new bodyguard and advisor,' Iroh said, introducing me. 'Nemi Turunen.'

'Greetings, Miss Turunen.' He bowed to me. 'I take it you wish to see the Fire Lord? He has been anticipating your return, sir.'

'Yes. Would you be able to tell me where he is?'

'He is in his rooms. I will open the door for you.' The man closed his palms around the handles and pulled. The door swung smoothly open, and Iroh and I walked inside.

'Bear in mind,' Iroh said gravely, 'that my nephew is not the most...warm and welcoming of people. It may take him a while to get used to you.'

'I think I can deal with that,' I replied. 'I'm not a big people person either.'

We continued walking, eventually up to another door with the same flame emblem on it. Iroh knocked quietly. 'Zuko?'

'Uncle?' The voice was muffled, coming from behind the door. There was a clicking as the handles turned, and then the door opened.

To my very great surprise I was standing there looking at someone only a little older than me. I guessed him to be about nineteen or twenty. Like most other Fire Nation people, his hair was long and dark, pulled back into a ponytail. Unlike most Fire Nation people, the ponytail was affixed with a gold flame symbol. He was good-looking, I supposed, but I didn't really see people that way any more. A burn scar covered most of his left cheek and eye. What really got me were the eyes – they were the most stunning yellow-gold colour, and I'd always been a sucker for pretty eyes.

That made me think of _him, _and I jerked my mind away from there quick smart.

Zuko's eyes fell on his uncle, and they lit up instantly, which was really sweet. I didn't think I'd ever seen someone who so obviously cared about a family member. He leaned forward to embrace Iroh, and that was when he saw me.

'Zuko, this is – 'Iroh began. But he never got to finish that particular sentence.

As soon as he saw me his face tightened, transforming completely from happiness at seeing his uncle to cold, incoherent rage.

'How dare you,' he whispered. 'And Uncle, you of all people – '

'Zuko, let me explain!' Iroh shouted, but the door was already slammed in his face.

I looked at the door, and then at Iroh. 'You've got some explaining to do.'

'I didn't think he would react this way!' Iroh protested. 'I didn't think he would suspect me of – '

'Of what, exactly?' I asked coldly. 'Your nephew hates me and I've got no idea why.'

'He thinks I want – he thinks I want him to...'

'Oh, wait,' I said, as it dawned on me. 'He thinks you're trying to set us up, right? And for some reason that really offends him.'

Iroh nodded.

'Let's see how offended he gets by this.' I swung my leg back.

'No! Don't!'

My boot heel made solid, satisfying contact with the door. 'Oi! Fire Lord! Open up!' I bellowed.

There was no response. He was ignoring me.

'No one ignores me, damnit! Bloody hell, open the door!' I kicked it again, and he opened it. He actually looked more pissed off than before, which I didn't think was possible.

'What in _hell _does she want, Uncle?' he hissed. 'I thought I made myself perfectly clear.'

'Well, I haven't!' I shouted. 'I can't believe you could be so arrogant, thinking that I want to jump you or something stupid like that! From the sounds of it, your uncle is the only one that actually gives a crap about you, and you throw it back in his face!'

He looked astonished now, I think by the fact that some female commoner-type was yelling at him and giving as good as she got.

'I – ' he started.

'You don't treat people who care about you that way, not if you want them to go _on _caring about you,' I said, softening my tone a little. 'Iroh brought me here so that I could be someone you could trust. _Not _a potential life partner.'

He still looked unconvinced.

'Trust me,' I continued, 'I've only ever been in one relationship in my life, and that relationship convinced me that relationships are something I'm better off without. For me to change my mind on that front, the guy would have to be – no offence, but not a selfish dick,' I finished.

His mouth opened and closed. 'I'm not a selfish dick,' he finally said, a bizarre expression of startled amusement on his face.

'Prove it, then. Now, can we go back to introductions, without anyone losing their temper?'

Iroh snorted. 'Zuko, this is Nemi. I've hired her to be your advisor and bodyguard. Nemi, this is Zuko. My nephew.'

I nodded, and started walking away. 'So where do I sleep?' I asked Iroh.


	10. Get To Work

Vivisection

Chapter 10 – Get To Work

My new room belonged to Zuko's sister, the one who was in a mental asylum. Although maybe that was kind of understandable, now that I knew who she was related to.

It was a nice room, warm colours like everything else in the palace, a four-poster bed with curtains on the sides. The kind of bed all little girls dream of having. There was a window which looked like it hadn't been opened in a long time. I opened it this morning, breathing in fresh air and light. Obviously the window was east-facing, because the sun was coming right in.

If the room had had any personal belongings in it I might have felt bad about using it. As it was it was very impersonal, almost like a hotel room. Just a neatly made bed and an ensuite with a bath and toilet which were both very clean. I had looked in the toilet when I had first been given the room. I had been curious - nothing in this world seemed particularly high-tech and it seemed highly unlikely that it would be flushing. Instead, there was just a dark hole. I was on the top floor, so it obviously couldn't be a long drop. I had asked the maid who had shown me in and she had replied, blushing, that it led to a firepit. So the royal shit got incinerated. Ha ha.

I had also been informed that if I wanted a hot bath, I had to let one of the palace staff know so that the water could be heated and carried up to my room. This made me more than slightly uncomfortable. I didn't like other people doing things for me, especially when I could do said things perfectly well myself.

They had left Zuko's sister's clothes hanging in the wardrobe. Despite the fact that someone had obviously been airing them regularly, they smelt old, and I guessed they'd been there a while, which was more than a little creepy. I made a mental note to go out and buy myself more clothes tomorrow.

There was a knock at the door. 'Who is it?' I called out, wrapping myself in a red dressing gown.

'It's me, Qing.' The maid from yesterday walked in. 'I've been told to tell you the arrangements of your work.'

'Okay,' I said, sitting on the edge of the bed. 'I'm listening.'

'You must accompany Fire Lord Zuko wherever he wishes to go from sunrise until sunset, taking whatever armaments you need to defend him against potential assassination,' Qing recited. 'You will not let him out of your sight during this time. You will do this every day except on the days of new moon and full moon each month, during which you may do as you like, even leave the palace and its grounds if you wish. You will take your meals with the Fire Lord. You will attend him during all war meetings and councils, even if these fall on your rest days. You will be paid a wage of ten gold pieces per month. Any bodily damage which you suffer in protection of the Fire Lord will be treated by a healer whose services will be paid for by the royal treasury. In addition to this you will be given a compensation of fifty gold pieces. If you wish to take holidays or any leave of absence outside of your normal rest days you must notify the Fire Lord at least one month in advance. Do you have any questions?'

'Yeah, I got a question,' I said. 'Qing, how much do you get paid a month?'

She looked down. 'Um…I feel it is indelicate to say.'

I snorted. 'Just tell me.'

'I am paid a wage of three silver pieces per month, two of which I send home to my mother and sisters,' she murmured.

'You're my maid, right?' I asked. 'So you have to do what I tell you.'

Qing nodded. 'Yes, my lady Turunen.'

'Okay, then, here's an order. When I give you half my pay each month, you have to accept it.'

She blanched. 'But my lady…'

'No questions asked,' I reiterated. 'Give it to your family, share it up with the other maids if it makes you feel better. Give it to a charity, give it to a beggar. Just give it to someone who needs it, yeah?'

'Yes, my lady.'

'Believe me when I say I don't need that much money,' I said.

She smiled at me. 'Thank you, my lady.' She turned to leave the room.

That made me feel better. At least I was paying her now. I was still going to feel horribly guilty whenever I called for a bath and she lugged buckets of hot water up the stairs or whatever, but…

Oh crap. I was late for work. And Zuko would probably be pissed off.

I stood up, headed over the wardrobe and pulled out an outfit. It was a long, heavy dress with gold trim on it. _I hope they're not all princess's clothes, _I thought, as I shifted through the clothes. Eventually I found a pair of loose black pants, a red kimono top and a red hairclip. I hastily did my hair in an approximation of how all the Fire Nation women wore theirs, pulled on the clothes, and tugged on the boots I'd worn the day before.

Then I walked out my door and went to work.

'The Fire Lord is at breakfast, Lady Turunen,' the man at the door leading to the royal suite told me. 'Downstairs and just down the hall.'

I thanked him, at which he looked more than slightly surprised, and followed his directions. I hoped I would have time to eat something. I was hungry and my mouth felt furry after sleep.

I opened the door I came to and entered a big room with shiny red tiles on the floor. Zuko and Iroh were sitting at a small table, with tea and what looked like bread rolls and cold noodles. Zuko, damn him, looked like he was finished eating.

I walked over and bowed, as I had been told to do, but not without resentment.

'Good morning, Fire Lord,' I said through my teeth. 'And to you, General Iroh.' I made my tone friendlier here.

'Good morning, Nemi,' Iroh said cheerfully. He was sipping tea, which I was beginning to think was a regular thing with him. My stomach growled, and I thought longingly of coffee. 'Sit down. Have something to eat.'

'I couldn't. You two look like you're almost finished,' I replied.

'No, you must be hungry. I made jasmine tea this morning. Try it.' He poured me a cup and I sat down, as far away from Zuko as I could.

I drank the tea, which quickly cured me of my coffee craving. 'You're very good at tea-making,' I said after I'd swallowed. I picked up a bread roll and took a bite. It was sweeter than normal bread, but a lot more filling.

'Thank you. It's a hobby of mine,' he replied.

'So…Fire Lord. What are your plans for today?' I asked.

He looked up at me over his cup of tea, eyebrow raised. 'I didn't think you cared.'

'I don't. But I'm getting paid to spend the day doing whatever you do and making sure no one tries to kill you,' I retorted.

Iroh shook his head. 'It's a little too early for a battle of sarcasm. And as I'm sure you both know, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.'

'If you must know, Miss Turunen,' Zuko said, with more than a touch of scathing in his voice, 'I was planning to spend the day at the Fire Temple.'

'Just so you know, I'm not religious.'

'Neither am I. Just visiting a friend who happens to be going there today.'

'Oh, you've got friends do you? Whoopee for you,' I replied.

'A woman with an attitude problem. How original,' he shot back.

Even though I knew that whenever men resorted to sexist insults, it meant they were just trying to get under your skin, I nearly hit him in the face.

'Zuko, that's enough,' Iroh interjected. 'Leave her alone.'

I smirked at him. 'Ha, bitch.'

'And Nemi, if you continue to rile him on purpose, I will have your wage docked,' Iroh told me sternly.

'What?!' I protested. '_I _tried to start a perfectly civil conversation! _He _was the one who started with the insults!'

Now Zuko was smirking at me.

I decided it was time for a convenient change of subject. 'So how far is it to this Fire Temple?'

It was Iroh who answered. 'It's a walk of about an hour up a mountain. Zuko prefers not to take the palantine.'

'Will you be able to handle that, Miss Turunen?' Zuko asked with fake concern.

I stood up and snorted. 'Huh. I eat mountains for breakfast.'

I normally quite liked bush-bashing - or in this case jungle-bashing - but not when I was wearing a pair of boots my feet weren't used to.

In other words, oh God the blisters.

I discreetly slipped the boots off and carried them in my left hand, hoping a) Zuko hadn't noticed and b) he wouldn't pick on me about it.

'Are your feet hurting?' he asked sarcastically, ahead of me. 'Do you want me to carry you up the mountain?'

'Fuck you, Miss Daisy,' I replied promptly. 'I can walk.'

Zuko turned to look at me. 'The last time someone said the word _fuck _to me was two years ago.' His expression was thoughtful rather than reproachful.

'Not offending your delicate sensibilities, am I?' I snorted. He didn't say anything in reply, just turned back around and kept walking.

I really, really hoped there weren't any leeches around. I had this phobia of snaily-sluggy things. It wouldn't do to have a screaming panic attack in front of my new arsehole boss.

'People tiptoe around me, like I might break,' he said, and I realised he was responding to my earlier comment.

'Why's that?' I asked. He didn't answer. _There it goes again, _I thought. _There's definitely something going on here that I don't know about. _

I dismissed it. I couldn't very well ask him. If Iroh had seen fit not to tell me about whatever it was, Zuko sure as hell wouldn't be forthcoming.

'We're nearly at the temple, by the way,' he said.

I shrugged. 'I noticed.'

He turned again. 'How? You can't see it from here.'

'It's not hard to figure out that this is the slope of a volcano,' I said. 'You don't really get tropical forest randomly growing on a mountainside unless the soil's very fertile. Which volcanic soil is. And up here there's more basalt, which means we're getting near the top.'

He didn't say anything to that. The forest began to thin, and then we came into sight of the temple.

It had quite literally been built in the heart of the volcano. It was a red building with Asian-looking architecture, sitting directly on top of the opening to the volcano. Lava streamed out of circular tunnels in the base.

'This is amazing,' I said.

'It was built by firebenders,' Zuko said dismissively. 'It didn't take them long to do.'

With that he moved towards the stairs, and I did the same. _Don't let him out of your sight, _I thought, and scowled. _Oh, what fun. _

It was then that I glimpsed a dark shape hovering above the thick air and cloud cover. It looked like it had - impossible, surely? - six legs.

'What,' I asked, 'is _that?' _I pointed to it.

'Just the Avatar's bison,' Zuko replied, moving up the stairs. He opened the temple door and walked in.

_But bison can't fly, _I thought, and then remembered I was in a crazy dream-world where people could control elements. And not those on the periodic table, either. Somehow I knew that if I were to ask Zuko, he would have no idea what a periodic table was.

The inside of the temple was dimly lit and smoky due to the torches burning in brackets around the room. My eyes watered.

Several men in long red robes and conical headdresses which did up under the chin were praying in the room. 'Fire Lord,' one of them said, bowing. 'The Avatar is waiting for you upstairs.'

Zuko nodded and moved towards the spiral staircase the man had indicated. I sighed and followed.

As you can probably tell, the dialogue between Zuko and Lisana was really fun to write. Especially the 'Fuck you, Miss Daisy' part, for which I give credit to one of my Facebook friends.

So I guess I have to add that I don't own Ben's status comments.


	11. Out Of The Loop

This is me after a two-year silence on this story - producing about a chapter a day. Have fun, guys. For those people who aren't particularly fond of swearing, I don't think anyone drops an f-bomb in this one. I actually enjoyed writing Aang in, which is weird. Usually it's hard to do, for me, anyway. Which is odd, I guess, considering he's the main character of the series.

I know this fanfic is supposed to be dark and stuff, and thus far Lisana is seeming to function normally. There's a reason for that, I swear.

Anyways…here's the chapter.

Vivisection

Chapter 11 - Out Of The Loop

We stopped outside the door at the top of the stairs - at least, Zuko stopped, and then I stopped.

'You can wait outside,' he dismissed me, going to open the door.

Before he did I stepped in front of him. 'Hell no.'

Irritation flashed across his features. 'Step aside, Nemi.' He pushed at me with his shoulder.

I barely noticed that this was the first time he'd used my fake first name. 'Look at it this way,' I explained, speaking slowly to make sure it had time to get through his thick skull. 'What if it's not Avatar Aang in there? What if it's some dude dressed up as him who knew that this was the way to get you alone? What if he's waiting behind that door to stab you in the throat? It wouldn't take long for you to die. The carotid artery has a shitload of blood in it.'

He looked sceptical. 'I'll be fine, I'm sure.'

I folded my arms. 'No, you won't. My orders were to keep you in my sight, from sunrise till sunset. If you die I'm out of a job. Hell, I'd probably get _blamed._'

Zuko was still looking at me like I was short a few brain cells.

I sighed. 'Look, arrange to meet him by yourself after dark if you want. Then you're not my problem. But right now you are, so suck it up.'

He stood there for a few more seconds, and then gave in. 'Fine, have it your way,' he snarled, pushing the door open.

He let it go as soon as he entered the room, probably hoping the thing would slam on me. I pushed it back open for myself, walking through. _What a gentleman, _I thought, but didn't say aloud. That would be asking for a sexist insult delivered by express mail.

There was a boy sitting on the floor of the room, cross-legged, in a meditation position. He looked younger than me, maybe fifteen or sixteen, and had blue arrow tattoos on his arms, legs and skull.

_The genuine article then, _I thought. As if he could hear me Zuko turned to shoot me a glare as if to say, _I told you so. _

The boy opened his eyes and I stared at him with interest. By Iroh's account this kid was the most powerful person in this world, since he could bend all four elements and do it way better than anyone else.

He rose and embraced Zuko in an enthusiastic kid's hug. To my surprise, Zuko didn't look uncomfortable, but hugged him back. He was actually smiling. The smile looked kind of weird on his face after seeing him angry all the time.

Aang - I couldn't think of him as _the Avatar - _pulled away from Zuko and glanced at me. He skipped over and bowed to me.

'I'm Aang. What's your name?' he asked, looking at me with curiosity. I saw him glance at Zuko, then at me, then back at Zuko with a questioning look on his face.

Zuko scowled, and interjected before I could respond. 'She's my bodyguard. Iroh hired her. It wasn't my idea.'

'I'm Nemi,' I said, glaring at Zuko for being rude. 'It's nice to meet you. I've heard a lot about you.'

Aang grinned. 'Did whoever was talking about me say nice things?'

I laughed. 'Well, I was basically told that you're so awesome at bending that you could take out pretty much anyone or anything. Including tanks and mountains.'

'And my father,' Zuko said.

Uh oh. Had I touched on a sore point? It didn't look like it - Aang was smiling. 'Toph and Sokka told me that was a really cool battle,' he replied, 'but we can tell war stories later. How have you been, Zuko? I haven't seen you in a long time.'

Zuko shrugged. 'I've been all right,' he said, looking down. 'I've been better.'

Aang looked saddened. Both of them glanced at me, and I flushed, feeling stupid for having insisted on my presence here. Obviously they had personal stuff they wanted to talk about. I wondered if I should make some tactful excuse, like needing fresh air or the bathroom or something, but then Aang changed the subject.

'I was passing through with Appa and wanted to tell you that Katara and I were coming down to the Fire Nation. For the solstice,' he said.

'Why didn't you come to the palace to talk? My uncle would have wanted to see you.' Zuko looked puzzled. 'I assumed you had some Avatar business here or something.'

Aang shrugged. 'I thought about it but then I decided to meet you here instead. I always attract so much attention when I come through cities. And Katara doesn't like it when I get mobbed by screaming girls.'

'You and Katara can stay in the palace,' Zuko said.

'Actually, would you mind if the whole gang came down?' Aang blushed. 'I know it's kind of rude to ask, but Toph heard about it from Katara by scroll and wanted to come, and then Sokka heard and he really likes parties and stuff, and he wants to bring Suki and…yeah. I think that's everyone.'

'I don't care. There's about fifty rooms in the palace that no one sleeps in any more,' Zuko replied, and then his face grew downcast.

_Okay, this is getting really annoying, _I thought. _I hate not knowing stuff. I am going to force it out of Iroh. _

Aang was quiet too. Then he spoke again. 'Zuko, have you thought about -'

'No!' Zuko interrupted. 'Don't say it. I don't want to hear it. Not from you.'

_Damn you, Zuko, _I thought. _He was about to let something slip. About whatever it is I'm not supposed to know about. _

'So what's so special about the solstice, then?' I asked. 'Is it a festival day or something?'

Both of them looked grateful for the subject change. _Don't count your blessings yet, Zuko, _I thought, looking at him. _I'm going to find out what your problem is. I just did that to be nice. _

'The summer solstice is one of the most important days in the Fire Nation calendar,' Aang said, and then looked at Zuko. 'I think you can explain it better than I can.'

Zuko glanced at me. 'It's the longest day of the year, and it marks the height of the sun's power. Firebenders draw their strength from the sun. So everyone in the Fire Nation takes the day off. It is a festival day.'

'Does the Fire Nation do fireworks?' I asked.

Aang exhaled. 'It sure does! The best fireworks around! You'll have to watch them with us.'

It would mean being around Zuko when, technically speaking, I didn't have to. Damn. But then there would be fireworks - and more importantly, an opportunity to get information. At these types of things there was always some kind of alcoholic beverage. The majority of people didn't have to be persuaded to drink, and everyone knew that drunks talked more than sober people.

If Zuko was a teetotaller I would have some problems, though. Although God forbid I should have problems.

'Okay,' I agreed.

Aang smiled. 'Great! Are you guys doing anything else today?'

'Don't know. Ask him, he's the boss.' I gestured to Zuko, who seemed to realise that this was the extent of the deferential boot-licking he was likely to get from me.

'I don't have any other plans,' he said.

'Awesome. We should go for a ride on Appa.' Aang turned to me. 'I guess you've never been on a flying bison before.'

I shook my head. 'Um…no?'

'Well, there's a first time for everything.' Aang lifted a thin cord around his neck and produced a white whistle, possibly made of bone. He blew it, and gestured towards a balcony at the far end of the room.  
I gaped.

The thing which had appeared in response to Aang's summons looked like it could crush me very easily, and purely by accident. My earlier observation had been correct - it did have six legs, and a massive beaver-like tail. Its fur was white, except for brown hair growing in an arrow-shape on the tail. It tossed its horned head and made a sound in the back of its throat - a behemoth rumble - when it saw me.

'Appa, this is Nemi. She's coming for a ride with us today.' Aang looked at me. 'Walk closer to him and hold out your hand for him to smell.'

I blinked. 'But -'

'He's not as trusting of people as he used to be,' Aang said, his face darkening. 'He was captured by a circus once. It's okay. The worst he'll do to you is lick you.'

Zuko snorted behind me. That decided me.

'I'm not a scared-of-animals girly-girl,' I snarled, stepping forward. 'Watch me.'

I held out my hand.

Appa shuffled forward. His nose, bigger than my head, snuffled at my hand, which now looked pathetically tiny. I felt warm breath on my fingers. He smelt warm, like straw and apples and earth.

He opened his mouth and a large rough tongue, bigger than I was tall, engulfed me in a lick.

I squawked, my arms and legs flailing awkwardly, then realised I was exhibiting behaviour largely similar to that of a demented chicken. I was dumped on the floor of the balcony, bison saliva staining Princess Azula's clothes.

Appa made a grunting noise.

'He said he likes the way you smell,' Aang translated.

'I kind of guessed that,' I grumbled, standing up.

Zuko was standing over me, laughing his arse off. 'Oh, that made my day,' he said, straightening.

I glared at him. 'Silence, woman. When we get back to the Fire Nation you can get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.' I glanced at Aang, and then looked up at Appa's saddle, which was about a metre and a half above my head. 'How do I get in there?'

'I'll help you,' he said, moving his hands towards me in a pushing motion.

A blast of air, like a very concentrated breeze, pushed me upwards, and I fell a short distance into the saddle.

My stomach did that jerking up-and-down thing that stomachs usually do when confronted with sudden motion. 'Airbending,' I huffed.

Aang spiralled up and sat next to me, looking far too graceful for my liking. 'That's right,' he replied.

From the side I saw Zuko pull himself up into the saddle. As much as he irritated me, I would have dearly loved to know how he'd done it.

Aang took a pair of reins, surprisingly not much thicker than those of my stolen ostrich horse, at the head of the saddle and cracked them. 'Appa, yip yip!' he shouted.

Appa dropped and then soared into the air, and my lungs forgot about the breathing thing.


	12. Bring It On

Since I am a cave troll on the weekends and can't get the Internet, I won't be posting anything for the next three days (I live in Australia so we've got the Anzac Day long weekend). I've written two chapters today to compensate, though. Hope you like them and I'll be back on Tuesday.

Vivisection

Chapter 12 - Bring It On

Zuko was deep in thought throughout the ride back to the palace, though it couldn't have taken more than fifteen minutes.

He looked at Nemi's face. She had gotten past the initial look of terror and was laughing, her hair streaming out behind her. She had a very loud, awkward laugh, but she was happy.

In that instant he was reminded of Mai, and the rare instances in which she'd smiled at him in one of those moments of pure, innocent, no-strings attached happiness. Zuko remembered feeling that way, but a memory couldn't replace the emotion. It was like trying to remember how it felt to firebend. He could recreate the feel of it in his mind, but it was a purely physical sensation - something which had to be done to be experienced.

Iroh had told him about Nemi, who was really called Lisana, who he believed came from another world. Privately Zuko thought she was either lying or crazy. He didn't know her well enough to judge which.

Eventually she would find out about Mai. Zuko couldn't see her pretending to understand as the ladies of the Fire Nation nobility whispered about him behind their hands and closed doors. She would demand to know what was going on, probably from his uncle. Zuko guessed he would know when she did. She would start treating him as though he was made of glass.

He was putting up with her to humour his uncle. Iroh seemingly felt that the girl would induce some dramatic personal change in him, perhaps even build a friendship with him. Zuko hardly felt it needed pointing out how unlikely that was. As far as he could tell, she was rude, abrasive, obnoxious, and had no skills or talents whatsoever, unless being able to differentiate between mountains and volcanoes counted as a skill.

Zuko remembered when the Fire Lord's personal guards had been assigned adjourning rooms to the royal bedchamber. That particular tradition had ended with his grandfather's death. Ozai had been convinced that one of them would try to stab him in his sleep.

Zuko silently thanked his father's paranoia. He didn't think he could deal with having her right next door to him. She probably snored. And if he had to guess from her voice, she snored _loudly. _

_No, Uncle, _he thought. _I have enough friends. _

They reached the palace, and there was already a crowd of people outside the walls, cheering as Appa soared over their heads.

'How did they know you were going to be here?' Nemi asked Aang, who looked puzzled. 'I don't know what it is with crowds of people,' he replied. 'They always seem to know where I am.'

'Kind of like cameras and Paris Hilton making a twat of herself,' she mused.

'Huh?'

'Oh, nothing.' She looked away.

If she was crazy, she was doing a good job of remaining otherwise sane but annoying. _Probably lying, _Zuko thought. He was surprised by the fact that he didn't really care. If he had been Ozai he would have suspected her of being an assassin and lying her way into his uncle's trust.

He looked at her and snorted. Nemi assassinating him? She couldn't shut up for long enough to kill him in his sleep. She'd probably wake him up by doing something dumb like cackling evilly to herself. Had she been a firebender, she wouldn't have lasted five seconds in an Agni Kai.

There was a thought. Iroh had suggested…

'I haven't sparred in a long time,' Zuko said aloud.

Aang sat up. 'We could do that this afternoon! That'd be fun.'

'I wasn't talking about firebending,' Zuko answered. 'Uncle and I practise a couple of hours before sunrise every morning.'

He saw Nemi look at him as if he'd grown a second head. 'It's _summer,'_ she said, stating the obvious. 'How can you get up that early?'

'Uncle told me you had some skill with unarmed combat,' Zuko told her. 'He said you might make a good sparring partner. I have nothing to do this afternoon.'

Nemi shrugged. 'Like I said before, you're the boss. Let's do it.'

Aang landed Appa in the middle of the palace courtyard, narrowly missing a fountain. 'Wait until after lunch. I want to watch,' he interrupted, smiling.

'You're the Avatar,' Nemi said. 'You must have seen so many amazing battles, with people bending the elements against each other. What's so interesting about us punching each other?'

Aang glanced at her, and then at Zuko. He looked puzzled again. 'Isn't it obvious?'

Nemi shook her head.

Aang stood in a dramatic pose. 'It will be a battle of _epic proportions!'_ he proclaimed to two women who, having been unfortunate enough to choose seats near the fountain, were staring at him in indignation and ruined dresses. 'A battle to the end! Of good versus evil!'

'I call dibs on evil,' Nemi butted in. 'Evil always looks cooler.'

'And it's accurate,' Zuko muttered.

She rounded on him. 'Hey! Save it for the battle!'

Aang held up his hands. 'Guys, no fighting now. Let's go eat, and then you two can beat each other up.'

Nemi looked pleased, and jumped down off the back of Appa. 'Actually, I might go and change my clothes first,' she said. 'I still have bison drool on me.'

Aang snickered. 'At least you didn't get the treatment he gave my friend Sokka the first time they met.'

'Which was?' she asked.

'He had a cold that day.'

'Gross,' she replied.

'I guess it was understandable. He and I had been stuck in an iceberg for a hundred years,' Aang told her. 'I'll have to tell you about it sometime. Maybe while we eat.'

He airbended himself off Appa, and the two of them walked in the direction of the palace.

Zuko scowled. _Just because the Avatar likes someone doesn't mean she's a good person, _he thought.

'He's actually a terrible judge of character!' he yelled, feeling vaguely pathetic, even more so by the fact that neither of them seemed to notice.

'That he is,' one of the ladies near the fountain huffed, stalking off. Her friend followed her, muttering generalities about the impoliteness of airbenders.

Zuko followed Nemi and Aang. At least he would get to take her down a peg today.


	13. Black and Blue

Vivisection

Chapter 13 – Black and Blue

I thought about asking for bath water, but decided I didn't have the time. I'd just wash later, tonight. After I'd finished kicking Zuko's butt.

I smiled to myself and hummed as I flicked through Princess Azula's wardrobe, things that I virtually never did. Maybe because normal people hummed and smiled.

This girl had really liked fancy clothes. Although was that just because she was a princess and was expected to dress that way?

I managed to find a red pair of pants and a black sleeveless top with a darker red belt, and wondered about Zuko's sister. What had happened to her that had made sure she ended up in a mental asylum? Whatever it was, I felt for her. I hoped that wherever she was, she was being treated decently and it didn't feel like a prison. Although I guessed she probably was being treated well. Even if she was insane, she was still a princess.

I quickly brushed my hair out, tied it up and went down for lunch.

Aang smiled and shuffled over. He had saved me a seat. Zuko, as usual, pretended I wasn't there. He was obviously doing his royalty thing and treating me like the commoner I was. He would change his tune when I got him with an axe kick.

I glanced down at the trays of food on the table and was very happy with what I saw. 'Sushi!' I cried, taking two rolls. 'I love sushi!'

Zuko rolled his eyes as if to say, _Calm down. _I ignored him completely and started eating. Aang, I noticed, didn't touch the sushi, or anything else that had meat or fish in it. He was eating some sort of fruit that looked like a mango. 'Are you a vegetarian?' I asked, once I'd swallowed my mouthful.

He nodded. 'I was raised that way. All Air Nomads are. It's kind of hard to be a vegetarian in the Fire Nation, though. They usually eat a lot of meat and fish.'

'I knew you were coming, Avatar.' Iroh had come in from the far end of the room. He took the empty seat between me and Zuko. 'I hope you like what we found for you.'

'It's great,' Aang answered with his mouth full. 'Thank you.'

Iroh turned to me. 'I hear you and my nephew are going to do some sparring this afternoon.'

I frowned. 'We only just decided it. How did you find out?'

'Apparently Aang here announced in front of some ladies-in-waiting,' Iroh told me. 'The court is quite excited. They wish to see the fighting prowess of the Fire Lord's new bodyguard.'

'I hope they won't be disappointed,' I said politely.

'I'm sure they won't,' Iroh smiled. 'When is the match taking place?'

'After we're done here,' Zuko interrupted. 'Uncle, I don't usually spar in front of people.'

Iroh held his hands out. 'Surely you cannot deny them their chance to see you and Nemi engage in a friendly bout of -' He broke off when he saw me cracking my knuckles and Zuko shooting me a death glare.

He looked at us. 'Please don't kill each other. Or anyone else.'

I pushed the remnants of my last sushi roll into my mouth. 'Well, I'm done. Unless you aren't, Fire Lord?'

'I'm ready to go,' he replied.

I leant down to the table, took a last swig of fruit juice, and stood up. 'So am I. Let's do this.'

We headed out to the courtyard we'd landed in earlier, which was now surrounded by a ring of people. The fact that I'd just eaten didn't bother me. This wouldn't take long.

Zuko just looked annoyed, as per usual. 'Don't they have anything better to do?'

'Apparently not,' I replied. 'So how do you want to do this?'

He looked surprised. 'That was actually…a sentence where you didn't try to antagonise me.'

'I'm letting you make the rules because I'm feeling nice today,' I said. I knelt down and pulled off my shoes.

'Aang!' he called out. Within seconds the boy with tattoos was standing next to him.

'These are the rules of the fight,' he said. 'It will go for five minutes. Aang, you keep time. Whoever scores the most hits - or knocks the other person down - wins.'

'Can I trust you to fight fair?' I asked.

His face tightened. 'I won't cheat and use bending, if that's what you mean.' And with that, he pulled his shirt off.

My lip curled. He must have seen, because he glared at me. 'What?'

'You're one of _those,'_ I said, as we moved in the circle.

'One of what?'

'Vain pretty boys who take off their shirts to fight,' I snapped, stepping into my fighting stance. A girl in the front row blanched, at the fact that a commoner woman dared to insult the most powerful man in her country. I clenched my fists. 'Really, it just makes it easier for anyone watching to see you bleed.'

'In a firebending duel, the men always fight bare-chested!'

'This isn't a firebending duel, Princess. Pale skin, you look like you bruise easily. And I'm going to make that happen - with my shirt _on._'

With that, I sidestepped and threw a roundhouse kick - which he blocked.

I looked at him with surprise, but didn't falter. I formed a punching combination, which he deflected, followed by a pair of hooks to the ribs which he double-blocked. He used that double block to slide my arms up and swung a kick into my side.

'Hit!' Aang called.

I glared at Zuko, who was looking annoyingly pleased with himself. 'How long have you been training for?' I demanded, as I adjusted my stance.

'Since I was born,' he replied, and advanced on me.

I knew not to go for an attack. I stood and waited. As soon as he moved his shoulder forward I pressed the fingertips of my right hand together. I moved in towards him and as he threw his punch I slid underneath it, blocking with my left arm, and swung _koken_ - the top of the wrist - into his upper ribs, just under the armpit.

Shihan told me he'd been hit with this in his third dan grading and he hadn't bothered blocking it, because he hadn't thought it would hurt. I saw Zuko blink, saw the red patch of skin where my technique had hit, and knew that one was going to bruise. I smiled triumphantly.

'Hit!' Aang called again.

'Where did _you _learn to fight?' Zuko spat.

I smiled, and stood my ground. 'In a small dojo, only about ten minutes' walk away from my house. I started when I was thirteen.' With that, I kicked, feinting for the midsection but turning it into a thigh kick with my shin.

'Hit!'

'Oh, look at that,' I said condescendingly. 'Someone wasn't paying attention.'

We continued fighting for another couple of minutes, neither of us scoring a hit. Zuko very nearly did, a couple of times. I was managing to defend myself, but that was _all _was doing - and he was making me work hard for it. We were reasonably balanced, skills-wise.

I was uncomfortably remembering something else Shihan had told me - if a male and female of equal skill, weight, reflexes and everything else had a tournament fight, the male would win because of the effects of testosterone. Zuko had me in weight, and possibly, although not by much, in skill. I had to admit - although the _koken _had been a good technique, the thigh kick had been me getting lucky.

I was sweating now. I was reasonably fit - Kyokushin had made sure of that - but it was the middle of summer and a longer fight than I was used to. A typical three-minute bout felt like an eternity. This felt immeasurably longer.

And there was the fact that there was no way I was going to live this down if I lost.

All I had to do was stay ahead - I couldn't have that long to go.

'Fire Lord! Fire Lord, sir!'

I stayed on my feet, guards up. This was probably a trick, I couldn't afford to let him get another one in.

'Stop!' Aang called.

We stopped. I figured if you couldn't trust the impromptu ref, who could you trust?

Two men ran into the courtyard. They wore red robes, heavy with gold thread and breastplates. 'Fire Lord Zuko, sir. We need you in the council chamber immediately.'

'What is it?' Zuko demanded.

They didn't seem to want to tell him, possibly because we were in front of about a hundred people.

I sighed and followed him. Secret Fire Lord business, I guessed. It probably wasn't anything I was likely to care about, but…

_Don't let him out of your sight. _


	14. Elusive

Sorry for the wait. I realised after writing the last couple of chapters that for those of you reading this who aren't in the same time zone as me (which is most of you) you either won't get this update on Tuesday or you will get it at an unholy time on Tuesday.

My apologies for that. And for this upcoming chapter – I always planned to have this happen in the story, but so many other people are doing it in theirs, and I hate using ideas that everyone else uses. I'm hoping my Azula scene is written decently and is interesting, though.

Vivisection

Chapter 14 - Elusive

Azula pulled the hood forwards on her medical orderly's robe. It was unlikely that anyone would recognise her if she did have the hood off - most of the Fire Nation had only seen her at a distance. It was smarter to take the precaution, though. As well as the pragmatic reason of avoiding recognition, the light of the summer sun was harsh on her eyes after two years inside.

Well, that wasn't quite true. The last time she'd gotten out it had been late at night, though, so it didn't really count. How convenient that the mental asylum was situated so close to the palace. She had been able to get back a long time before sunrise last time. No one had noticed she was missing, or even that she'd been outside. After all, what mental patient escapes her prison only to return of her own free will a few hours later?

Azula had intended to keep her venture outside a secret that time. She had made no such arrangement now.

Quite likely, the orderlies had noticed she was missing, reported it to the doctors, who would then, no doubt, report to her dear brother.

Azula had planned everything out, far beyond the escape itself. Breaking her father out of the Fire Nation prison would be the most difficult part. A captive Fire Lord revised the meaning of the phrase _high security prisoner. _He probably had guards around him day and night.

Ordinarily that wouldn't have been a problem for Azula. She had been the Fire Nation's Crown Princess and firebending prodigy. She had been within an inch of her coronation as Fire Lord two years ago, and then Zuko and the Avatar -

She shook her head. Best not to think of that.

It had been a long time before she could think at all past the screaming. The screaming had torn out her throat and long before that, her mind. She had spent a long time, weeks perhaps, in a crazed half-dream where the sounds didn't exist, the textures didn't match surfaces and all the colours were turned up too high. She hadn't been able to taste or smell at all. The doctors had let her scream, left her in that shimmering heat-haze hell for she had no idea how long, before they had finally given her release in the form of sedatives.

Then she had slept, smooth silent blackness which demanded nothing of her and didn't make her remember. Because she couldn't allow herself to remember. People such as Zuko had memories which were too painful for them. Azula had memories which cut her open with a scalpel and with slow agonising precision removed her heart and brain and sanity.

The memories had whispered to her as they lifted gleaming red organs out of the cavity in her chest. Azula had still been able to hear them even as she screamed. _Failure, _they whispered, _paranoid wreck. Unloved. Unwanted. Cannot stand alone. Feeble and insane. _They didn't whisper the words in any recognizable language, but she had always been able to hear and understand them.

Even now, the memories still lived in the back of her head, lying dormant and waiting to be awoken with words such as _Zuko _and _Avatar. _

A short time after the beginning of her incarceration, Azula had gained enough of herself back to formulate two things - a plan and a venture outside. Both had been successful. That had given her some small comfort. She was still, at least in part, the person she had once been.

Ever since then she had slowly but surely grown herself and her mental control. It was much better if she didn't remember. Azula pretended to herself sometimes that she didn't have a past.

_When I escape for real, _she had thought to herself, over and over again, _is when my life begins. _

And now she had been reborn.

Azula squinted through the too-bright afternoon light. The Fire Nation capital city, her home for as long as she could remember -

_I don't have a past, _she reminded herself.

Full of people. People who were loyal to the person sitting on the Fire Nation throne, the throne of flames that didn't belong to her. The crown which wasn't sitting on her head.

Azula led her treacherous mind away from that path. She instead focused on the people around her. A mother holding her child's hand, a man selling fire flakes from a food stall. Azula wished she had money. As it was, she felt like an intruder in this world of normal people who didn't dream of being cut open on an operating table. Buying something would have been reassuringly mundane.

_Mundane is not for you, _she thought to herself, walking forward. _You are better than mundane. _

She was a princess. Princess and rightful heir to the throne. Her father had promised it to her, not to Zuko. Which was why she needed Ozai to help her. The man would be defenceless and manageable without his bending, but would still provide her with the support she needed.

Because she had to face facts - she was alone, vulnerable and on the run. Although no number of years of incarceration would make her forget how to firebend, she hadn't practised for a long time by anyone's standards. Even from the short walk through the city, her calf muscles were beginning to tire - her level of physical fitness had been very much reduced by her stay in the asylum. She felt weak and stupid.

_But I am free, _she reminded herself.

At first the sedatives had been a welcome relief. However, the doctors had gradually increased Azula's dose, and the orderlies had obediently administered the drugs in her food. She had been kept in a drugged haze which had lasted for more than a year. Eventually she had started eating less, which of course reduced the effects of the sedatives long enough for her to be capable of coherent thought.

And then she had conceived of her plan.

Azula breathed in deeply. First of all, before anything happened, she needed security. Like food, and clothing, and shelter, and most of all money. The money would be hard. There was no way she would beg, and she was far too conspicuous in her asylum worker's uniform - and far too unfit - to consider robbing anyone.

Pickpocketing, perhaps? But stealth like that had always been Ty Lee's forte far more than hers.

Azula could only think of one way that a woman on her own could make money without getting into trouble with the law - the last thing she could afford. She considered it. The idea of giving up her body, of lying with a man for money, didn't really bother or disgust her. Physical invasiveness was something she had grown accustomed to at the asylum. The wing she had been kept in had contained only female inmates. Even so, that combined with the fact that she was a princess hadn't stopped them from doing things. The bathrooms had been where it happened the most. There was no privacy - there was a communal washing area - and more importantly, no orderlies. Azula knew one of the other inmates, a woman older than her with dark hair, had taken her into a corner and done things with her body, but the perpetual haze of sedatives she had been in had prevented her mind from recalling any more clearly than that. She hadn't really cared, both at the time and afterwards. It had seemed like nothing next to the nightmares and hellish daydreams, had even distracted her from them for a short time.

To Azula, her body was just a shell, a means of transportation and, through conditioning and training, combat. As long as neither of those things were compromised, she didn't care. She had never given herself to a man, never had any sort of sexual encounter besides the bathroom incident in fact, and had no particular desire to.

The thought of looking for honest work in order to acquire money hadn't really occurred to Azula. As soon as it did she dismissed it. She had never worked in her life, and she definitely couldn't deal with the idea of someone telling her what to do.

She didn't care if she had to become a whore. All she needed to do was accomplish her plan, do what she had to do.

And then she would have what she was born to, what she had been promised, and perhaps the dreams and memories and voices would finally go away.


	15. Yes, Mother

Vivisection

Chapter 15 - Yes, Mother

As we walked out of the meeting chamber Zuko was unusually subdued. He was even absentmindedly polite, holding open a door for me.

It was downright weird.

'Well,' I said, 'that was an incredibly useless meeting.'

He was quiet for a few minutes, making me feel foolish for speaking. 'It's because we have no idea what to do.'

'I know,' I replied. 'The general public doesn't even know she was locked up, blah blah blah. This is why you should tell people things instead of just letting them make up rumours.'

'The only thing hindsight is good for is kicking you in the face,' he said.

I changed the subject. 'Do you think she's likely to come after you?' I asked. 'Back in there, everyone talked a lot about her potentially breaking out your dad, but no one mentioned you.'

I could tell by the look on his face that this had never even occurred to him. 'I don't know,' he said. 'The obvious thing for her to do is rescue my father. He's her ally. But I can't see what she'd do after that.' He paused. 'She probably would try and kill me at some point. It's the kind of thing she'd do.'

I remembered getting dressed this morning and feeling sorry for Princess Azula and felt like laughing at my own naivety. I stopped myself. For all I knew, she was an innocent person who'd been given a bad PR by Zuko and Co.

'I guess to kill time she'll just roam around killing innocents, firebending from rooftops,' he muttered to himself. 'Generally making me look like an idiot.'

'You hardly need Azula to do that for you,' I quipped.

He looked at me. 'What?'

'This conversation we've been having has been far too polite,' I pointed out. 'Insult me. It'll make you feel better.'

The look he was giving me changed from confusion into one I recognised. It was the patented _You are such a moron, why am I bothering to talk to you _look. It had been a favourite of someone I knew and preferred not to think about.

I laughed. 'Okay, time for another subject change I guess. How far away is this summer solstice festival thingy?'

Zuko's face darkened. 'Only a week. If Azula wants to pick a time to mess things up for me that would be it. It's a national holiday. Anything she does then, like mass murders or destruction of public property, will have a maximum impact then.'

'You really think she'll do stuff like that?' I asked.

He nodded. 'You don't know Azula.'

'Why the hell didn't you put her in a maximum security prison or something then?' I demanded. 'Instead, a dangerous lunatic - if what you say is correct - was incarcerated in a relatively low-security medical facility. She's escaped and the only one you have to blame is yourself.'

Zuko lost his temper then. 'What are you, my mother?' he exploded. 'I know this! I _know _it's my fault! I don't need _you _to state the obvious!'

A bolt of flame shot from his left fist, narrowly missing me.

'You don't think I'm kicking myself about this?' he continued. 'If my decision was so stupid, what do you suggest I do to fix it? _You're _supposed to be my personal advisor!'

I shrugged. 'If you're trying to get through to me, don't bother with a temper tantrum. I've seen that kind of thing before, done a lot more spectacularly. Even if you can burn stuff down while you're doing it.' I decided to go on before he got angrier at that. 'In answer to your question, I suggest you start putting measures in place to protect the people of the Fire Nation on the day and night of the solstice.'

'Such as?' Zuko snapped.

I ignored that. 'People drink alcohol at these things, yes? Then impose a curfew. Say it's due to alcohol-induced violence, robberies, rapes. Say anything you need to in order to get people to follow the curfew. Fireworks and other explosives that you don't want Azula getting her hands on? Restrict them. Make sure that not just any tool can get access to them. Have fireworks supervised by soldiers. Not just use, selling as well. Again, say it's for safety issues or something. I suggest you get a bunch of soldiers who know Azula's face well enough to recognise it under a disguise. Have these people walk the streets, on the day and night of the solstice, watching for any woman they see walking alone. If they do see one, they can offer to escort her to her home or wherever she's going. You can easily pretend you're doing this to prevent rapes and robberies. This will also enable your people to keep an eye out for Azula.'

Zuko stared at me in surprise. 'That's actually a good idea.'

'I'm going to pretend not to be insulted by the fact that that so obviously comes as a surprise to you,' I retorted.

He looked apologetic. 'I'm…sorry. I didn't mean to insult you. I just didn't expect you to actually have an answer for me.'

'I think that not telling the general public that you were having your sister committed was a dumb idea,' I told him bluntly. 'What if you'd died? As far as I can tell, the throne would have to go to Princess Azula. Unless you can bequeath it to Iroh before you die, or something. Which wouldn't be smart. Let's face it, he's not exactly young.'

Zuko looked uncomfortable. 'Don't take this the wrong way, Nemi, but…please don't start talking about who my heir might be.'

I nodded and moved on. I appreciated the fact that he was being civil for once. Was this something to do with what Iroh wasn't telling me? _Probably, _I thought, and sighed. 'I don't know if you've made any other similarly stupid decisions since then. God I hope not. It'll make it hard for me to keep you alive. Speaking of which…who have you got guarding you besides me?'

'No one,' he said. 'Just the people who guard the palace like normal.'

I shook my head, adamant. 'That's got to stop. I'm covering you for daylight hours, but outside of that I can't help. I have to sleep. I suggest hand-picking some competent soldiers that you can trust, and getting them to set up shop outside your room. If not there, then at least at the end of the royal suite. If Azula sends some crappy cheap assassin after you who gets lucky because no one was guarding you at night…'

Zuko held up his hands. 'I get it. The nation has no ruler. You don't have to tell me twice.'

'Maybe in the week leading up to the solstice it would be a good idea for you to get away from here,' I advised. 'Just so that if Azula does firebomb the palace or something while we're still sorting out security, then you're safe.'

Zuko looked thoughtful. 'I know a place. Would we have to go there alone?'

I sighed. 'It's probably better if we do. If Iroh leaves then people will notice. As it is he can stay here and tell everyone you're staying in bed for the week because I broke your rib or something.'

He scowled at me. 'It would take a lot more than -' he gestured at all of me, which admittedly wasn't very much compared to him, '- _you _to break my rib.'

'It left a nasty bruise though, didn't it?' I replied, cheerful.

Zuko moved on. 'If Aang's still here he can take us there on Appa.' He looked at me. 'Is there anything you need to get?'

'Clothes,' I said. 'I need to buy clothes.'

He frowned. 'No one gave you clothes?'

I flushed. 'Well, I've got your sister's clothes hanging up in my room, but…'

He seemed to understand that. 'Do you have money?' he asked.

I nodded.

'All right, I'll give you the next couple of hours to buy clothes and anything else you need,' he replied shortly.

'Who's going to watch you while I'm gone?' I asked.

He glared at me. 'I'm not a child. I don't need _watching._'

'No, you're just a high-profile political target,' I snapped. 'I'm staying here until you get someone to replace me.'

He didn't look happy about that.

'Seriously,' I said. 'You will have to pick me up and drop me outside the palace gates in order to get rid of me. Even then I'll probably find a way back in. If I've been given a job to do, I do it.'

'All _right!' _he shouted. 'I'll get the bloody _Avatar!_ Will that make you happy? If I have the most powerful man on the planet standing over me to make sure I don't step in a puddle or trip over a stair?'

I considered this. 'Yep, I'm good. But I'm not leaving until he's standing next to you.'

Zuko stormed off. I followed him. Firstly because I had to…and secondly, because I knew it would piss him off.


	16. Ember Island

Vivisection

Chapter 16 - Ember Island

I lifted my bag onto my shoulder. There was no way I was going to ask Zuko to help me carry it.

The ride here had been - interesting. I didn't think I was ever going to get used to riding on Appa. Zuko had made me feel like an idiot for being so excited - he was just sitting there, totally chilled out, giving me the _You're a moron _look. He was busy carrying his own stuff now.

Surprisingly for royalty, he'd only brought one small bag, plus a couple of what looked like broadswords, which he wore strapped to his back. Maybe he realised that there was no way in hell I was going to be his maid for the week, and that he'd better pack light because he was going to be carrying everything himself.

'This is pretty,' I said, looking around. It was a small tropical island. I'd never been to Hawaii or Fiji or anything like that, so I had nothing to compare it with in my head. The sun was setting just as we'd arrived, melting into the sea in pinks and purples.

I thought how nice it would have been if I had been back in the real world, but had been able to travel to a place like this for a week. I could have taken a break, written some stories, just had the place to myself.

But I was inside my own wacky dream world, and I got to hang with Zuko. Woot.

'My family owns this island,' he said. 'We used to come here in summer a lot.'

'Does anyone else live here?' I asked, as we walked up a sand dune.

'There used to be a pair of old women who looked after the place for us,' he replied. 'They were twins. They retired and they live in the Fire Nation now. Someone still comes over to clean it once a week.'

'Are the cleaners likely to turn up while we're here?' I asked. We were walking up a grassy hill now.

'No, not this close to the solstice. They're probably on holiday with their families.'

I looked up and saw the place where I guessed we would be staying. It was literally built on the side of a cliff. Wooden supports extended down to the rocky slope, many tens of metres below. The beach house itself was small, painted red and gold like everything else in the Fire Nation. The paint was peeling, an occupational hazard of that much continuous exposure to salt and wind.

We approached the front of the beach house and climbed the steps. Zuko opened the door. I caught the smell of old abandoned house and my nose wrinkled. 'How long ago did the cleaners come?'

'Yesterday, according to Uncle,' Zuko responded. I walked in. It didn't get any better. The furniture had seen better days, there was sand all over the carpet, there were cobwebs in most places, and it was frickin' cold. I knew this place was going to be very unfun to sleep in unless I did something about it.

I spotted a small cupboard and opened the door. 'Gotcha,' I said when I saw the mop, bucket and various assorted (abandoned and unloved for a very long time) cleaning equipment.

I turned around and pushed Zuko back out the door. 'Get out.'

'Hey! What are you doing?'

'I'm cleaning this place and making it fit for human habitation,' I replied. 'When you get back to the Fire Nation, fire your cleaners. Please tell me there's running water.'

'Yes, there's a pump and filtration system pushing it up through the bedrock,' Zuko said, looking at me like I'd grown a second head.

'Stay out here, don't get in my way, and don't get assassinated while I'm gone,' I ordered. 'This is my weird mental thing. I really hate nasty unclean spaces, especially if I'm sleeping in them.'

With that, I went back inside and shut the door.

The pump in question was in what looked like the laundry, which of course Zuko wouldn't have touched with a bargepole. I pulled on the pump to get it working. Eventually I managed to get water coming out, which was good exercise. I filled the bucket - I spotted a brazier-thing in the corner, which I guessed meant that if I wanted hot water, I'd have to heat it - grabbed the soap, and got to work.

I decided to do the top floor, which looked like the bedrooms, first. I went into the room with the fanciest door, which was obviously the master bedroom with its double bed and ensuite bathroom, and cleaned the bathroom. I found a slug in there and nearly had a panic attack, because I'm like that about slugs, snails and generally slimy things. After about fifteen minutes I squashed it with the mop handle. I scooped up the mess with the dustpan and dropped it into the toilet, which, surprise surprise, actually appeared to be flushing.

The toilet was reasonably clean but the bath took a lot of scrubbing. It had one of those nasty dark rings of grime in it as well as mould growing around the plughole. When I was done I swept out the master bedroom, airing out the sheets. I found fresh ones which looked fairly clean on top of the wardrobe in the room and remade the bed. I was guessing Zuko would want to sleep in this one. I glanced out the window and blanched. I'd taken longer than I'd thought - the sky was dark outside. I decided to skip to the downstairs floor.

Everything was pretty much okay and only really required dusting and sweeping until I got to the kitchen. No one had touched it for a long, long time and it really showed. I'm not going to say anything more about that one other than that it made the slug in the upstairs bathroom look like a walk in the park.

Zuko was in the sitting room, looking slightly amused. 'Why were you screaming in there?' he asked, jerking a thumb towards the kitchen.

I waved my hand. 'That doesn't matter. Did you take off your shoes before you came in?'

He smirked. 'Yes, mother. Did you make me food too?'

'Make your own bloody food,' I groaned, plonking myself down on the couch. It was a lot warmer, mainly because he'd gone to the trouble of lighting a fire. It burned in the fireplace, flickering and spreading lovely warmth all over me. He'd gotten firewood for it too - there definitely hadn't been wood in there when I'd come in. God only knew where he'd gotten firewood from. The surrounding landscape was pretty much treeless.

'Thank you for doing that,' I said, gesturing at the fire. 'It was surprisingly and uncharacteristically nice of you.'

'Thank you for making the house not smell bad,' he replied.

'Seriously, though,' I said, sitting up, 'if you want food you have to make it yourself. I can't cook for shit. And I don't even know where the food is, or even if it's edible.'

'Uncle had Appa make a trip down before us with food and other supplies,' Zuko replied. 'It's all edible. He brought sushi because you like it.'

'That is awesome,' I replied.

Zuko got up and left the room. I heard him moving stuff around in the kitchen. He was gone for a while, but came back with a tray. 'Uncle left us a bunch of different tea leaves as well as sushi,' he said. The tray had two steaming cups of tea as well as four sushi rolls heaped on it.

I took one of the sushi rolls. 'Om nom nom,' I said, putting it into my mouth.

Zuko raised an eyebrow. 'You make unintelligible noises to your food before you eat it?'

'I'm speaking to the food in its language. It's only fair to tell it of its impending doom,' I said with my mouth full.

'You wouldn't last five minutes at court,' he said, but the look on his face said it wasn't meant as an insult.

I sipped some tea. 'I wish I had an awesome relative like Iroh,' I said.

'What's your family like?' Zuko asked me.

I looked at him. 'Hey, you know how I don't talk about who the heir is to your throne when you're gone? Can you do the same thing when the topic gets on to my family?'

Surprisingly, Zuko seemed to get it. Probably because he had family stuff of his own going on. He sipped his own tea. 'By the way, if you need to bathe you should do it now. I heated some water, but it won't stay warm for long.'

'Who are you and what have you done with the Fire Lord?' I asked him, hands on my hips. That actually got a laugh out of him.

I went into the laundry and scooped up a bucketful of water. I assumed that this was the same deal as back in the palace, but with no one to carry it up for me. I carried my bucket up the stairs. Would Zuko object to me using his ensuite? There was another bathroom down the hall. I looked in it and just as quickly went out. That one was beyond my powers. 'I'm not touching that shit,' I muttered, heading to the ensuite.

I filled up the bath, stripped off my clothes and stepped in. Zuko had done a good job of heating the water. It was still very warm, close to too hot but not quite. I leaned back in the tub and sighed, soaping myself over. After my cleaning spree, particularly the kitchen and the slug encounter, I felt very grimy and unclean. When I felt normal again I stepped out, grabbing one of the towels I'd put out and drying myself with it. I let out the water. Zuko definitely wouldn't want to use my bath water. I wrapped the towel around myself, took my bag of clothes with me and started hunting for a room to sleep in.

The first one I checked in had rotten furniture. _Eww, _I thought, and shut the door. I checked in another. This one just had a bed frame, no mattress, no sheets. I looked around and couldn't find anything. I checked in the third and final room - nothing at all. No furniture, no bed, just bare floorboards.

_Crap, _I thought, as it sunk in.

I ducked back into the ensuite, changed into the nightdress I'd bought, and went downstairs, blushing.

'Uh, Zuko, I have a confession to make,' I said.

He was facing away from me, looking at the fire. 'What?'

'Um…the only room fit for habitation is…' I paused, unsure of how to put this.

'The one with the double bed in it?' he finished. 'I knew that. I thought you did too. You cleaned up there.'

I stared at him, speechless. My voice croaked itself back into existence. 'Is that why you've been so nice to me?' I asked, disbelieving.

He turned to look at me. 'I was trying to make it up to you.'

'What, make it up that you were trying to get into my pants?' I demanded. 'I'm sorry, but my pay check doesn't include fucking you.'

Zuko looked astonished. 'I know it doesn't! I only meant we'd have to share! I know you hate me so I thought you'd be angry when you found out!'

I opened and closed my mouth, and then blushed very hot. 'Oh shit,' I said, my face burning.

Zuko glared at me. 'You've got that right. I don't want to _sleep _with you.' His tone was acidic.

That stung. I think he saw it in my face, because his expression softened. 'I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong idea.'

'I…I don't hate you,' I mumbled. 'I just…I'm not good with people.'

He nodded at that. 'Neither am I. Maybe that's why Uncle chose you.' He stood up. 'Do you mind if I don't wash?'

I shook my head. 'No, I'm good.'

We went upstairs and, rather awkwardly, both climbed into the bed.

'I'm sorry for what I said before,' Zuko said after some time. 'I didn't mean that you were unattractive.'

'It's okay,' I said. 'It would be too weird if you thought I was attractive. I mean, you're my boss. And I don't do that kind of stuff.'

'So you're celibate?' he asked me.

'Yes,' I replied. 'Are you?'

He paused at that. 'Yes.'

'Awesome,' I said. 'Two celibate people are sharing a bed.'

He snorted. 'Good night, Nemi.'

'Good night, Zuko,' I said.

We lay there in the darkness. I could feel his presence very acutely. He was in my space, very much in my space, and it made me uncomfortable. Ever since Jimi I had never let anyone get this physically close to me. I quite simply hadn't trusted anyone enough.

Zuko sure as hell didn't have that level of trust with me. We'd only just gotten to the point where we could have a conversation without killing each other, and I guessed that was more out of guilt on his part that we had to share a room more than anything else.

'Zuko?' I said, into the darkness.

'What?'

'If you snore, then you're fucking dead,' I said, rolling over.

He snorted again. 'Go to sleep.'


	17. Counting Down

Iroh's sixth sense be awesome. And in this case, correct. There's a storm coming. In more ways than one. :D

Vivisection

Chapter 17 - Counting Down

Iroh had the very distinct, very uncomfortable feeling that something bad was going to happen on the night of the summer solstice.

It was irrational, he knew. The solstice was only two days away and all the security measures Nemi had suggested - and more - had been put into place. Any purchase of fireworks now had to be overseen by at least two members of the Fire Nation royal guard. A lot of firework sellers had been at the gates over the past few days, requesting an audience with the Fire Lord.

Well, _requesting _was the wrong word, really. _Demanding at the top of their lungs _would have been more like it. A few had even resorted to banging on the gates with hands and feet. The firebender soldiers had put an end to that almost as soon as it had started. There were now a lot of angry firework sellers walking around the city with missing eyebrows, muttering darkly about how safety restrictions were bad for business.

There was now a curfew for two hours past sunset, which hadn't been received too badly - Ozai had been fond of enforcing curfews during his rule, so to the people of the Fire Nation it was nothing out of the ordinary. There was now a guard of two hundred soldiers who had been given circular gold shields as a means of differentiating them from the rest of the Fire Nation royal guard. They would be the ones to police the night.

In addition to that, Iroh had arranged for the palace guard - and everyone's personal security - to be doubled until the curfew was over. The solstice guards with the gold shields had all been equipped with a small amount of sedative, to use on Azula if they caught her.

Yet despite all this, Iroh had the persistent feeling that something very bad was going to go down on the solstice night.

_Maybe I should send them a messenger hawk, _he thought. _Maybe they should stay on Ember Island until this all blows over. _

Chances were the hawk wouldn't even reach Zuko and Nemi before the solstice. It took four days to get a message there from the palace, and that was when weather conditions were perfect. Right now there was a strong wind blowing overhead, and purple bruising along the horizon that looked like storm clouds. Iroh could smell it in the air. No, a storm was definitely coming soon. And a bad one at that.

Hopefully the two of them would be all right through it. That beach house was old and very rickety. Would a gale be strong enough to blow it off?

Iroh prayed not. He wondered how they were getting on. Not at all, knowing them. He chuckled. _They're probably trying to kill each other right now, _he thought.

Anyone else would have been suspecting Zuko and Nemi of doing entirely different things to each other, probably naked in a bed. For any other pair of teenagers, it would have been a reasonable deduction. But the idea just didn't work in his head. It couldn't. _It's like when two bolts of lightning get too close to each other, _he thought. _There's a repulsive force. In this case, between two equivalent and identical magnitudes of pure loathing. _

In fact, Iroh wouldn't have been surprised to see a crackle and an explosion when the two of them got within an armspan of each other, throwing both Zuko and Nemi to opposite sides of the room.

Thinking about Nemi, he knew he'd made the right choice. No one in the Fire Nation court dared say anything that might upset Zuko, anger him, or send him back into the bleak depression that had consumed him after Mai's death. They all seemed to part around him, like water around the blade of a sword.

If the nobles of the court were water, then Nemi was tempering fire. She hammered him relentlessly, pushing him away from the armoured wall of cold aloofness that he used to shield himself from human interaction, and just generally gave him crap for the fun of it.

Iroh smiled. He made a mental note never to tell Nemi of the beneficial effect her constant ribbing was having on his nephew. Zuko talked more now, even if it was only to complain about her.

'I don't understand why you chose her to…be my _friend,_ Uncle,' he had muttered that first morning at breakfast, looking down into his cup of tea. 'I'm not a little boy. I don't need you to find friends for me. And she has no redeeming qualities whatsoever.'

'You'll come around,' Iroh had assured him. 'So will she.'

Now, he hoped that would be the case. At the very least, Nemi could hold her own as a sparring partner for Zuko.

Had he been more optimistic he would have…not played the matchmaker, exactly, but held out hope for the two of them getting together. But that was never going to happen.

Mai had been the love of Zuko's life. Iroh had seen it in the way he had looked at her. There was never going to be anyone else. And she had loved him too. They had been happy together.

It still saddened Iroh to remember that she had taken her own life.

'What was wrong?' he whispered to himself. 'What was so wrong that you could only escape from it by dying?'

He knew Zuko had looked back, examined the past ruthlessly to see if he'd missed some sign. Iroh knew. He'd done the same thing. And Mai had never, ever shown any sign that she was unhappy.

Iroh couldn't hope for Zuko to remarry. It was unlikely that it would ever happen, and even if it did it was even more unlikely it would be for love. But he could hope that perhaps Nemi would make him better.

'Please don't kill him,' he said, aloud. No one was on Ember Island to moderate the two of them.

Two volatile tempers and a whole lot of hatred, alone on Ember Island. There was a sobering thought. Iroh had seen Zuko take his broadswords, too. He snorted as he pictured it.

_Um, he tripped over and stabbed himself. _Nemi holding a bloody pair of broadswords and smiling awkwardly. _Clumsy oaf. _

No, Zuko was a master firebender, and at the age of nineteen too. Surely he could defend himself against his own bodyguard.

Or so Iroh hoped.

He shuffled off to the soldiers' barracks. Perhaps he could tempt one of them into a game of Pai Sho.


	18. Awaken

I really hope this chapter is well-written. I put a lot of time and work into it – was in fact up until 1am last night and the night before writing it. So now my eyes are nasty and bloodshot and everyone at uni will think I am doing drugs.

But it's totally worth it if people like this story – please review!

Vivisection

Chapter 18 - Awaken

I lay in bed, blinking my tired eyes. I stretched, back arching, trying to tell my body it needed to sleep. Zuko made a noise and rolled over, and I went still. I didn't want to wake him up.

My legs felt achy and restless. My mouth was dry, my throat making swallowing motions.

It was odd. Usually I slept well when it was raining outside. Although this wasn't so much raining as pouring.

I heard the dull muffled _boom_ of thunder, and wondered why people still called it that when it was just the delayed sound of a lightning strike crashing into the earth.

I sat up slowly, carefully, and got out of bed. Zuko lay motionless, his breathing even. I wandered over to the window and peered outside. The rain was torrential, running over the glass in a solid sheet of water. I caught the faint bluish glisten of lightning and counted slowly in my head. I didn't have to count long. Only one Mississippi away.

I decided to stretch my legs. I walked downstairs, lost in thought. There was another _boom. _

I went to the door at the front of the house and peered out. The world was blurry. It looked very insubstantial. I felt as if had I held out my hand, the surroundings would have come away on my fingertips.

Well, that was exactly what this place was. Insubstantial.

It seemed to me then that I could feel my comatose body, locked in the back of my head, barely breathing, a living corpse sustained with intravenous drips. I pictured faceless nurses picking my body up, turning it over to avoid bedsores. I pictured my hair, limp and greasy on a pillow, cadaver's hair.

Without knowing quite what I was doing I walked out into the rain, in my nightdress. I could feel the drops thudding against my skin like wet arrowheads but no sharp cold. It was strange lukewarm rain. I tilted my head back. The sky was bluish-grey with storm clouds and the remnants of night.

My comatose eyes were sitting in my dead skull, glassy windows for a brain decaying slowly in sleep. I wondered briefly how much longer Alison could afford to have me kept on life support.

Not long. She was a book editor for an alternative publishing company. Once our phone line had been cut off because she hadn't been able to pay the bill. It was the same night there was a storm and the power had gone out. We had eaten dinner by candlelight and stayed up until two in the morning trying to play cards and failing.

I could see a doctor flicking a switch on a dull grey machine, Alison with red-rimmed eyes, and my dead body. A black screen with a green flat line on it danced on the back of my eyeballs.

I held out my palm, cupping it slightly. It was raining so heavily that water collected in my hand, dripping out the sides. I spread my fingers and let it fall.

My nightdress was soaked through now, clinging to me. I was wearing nothing underneath, but that didn't matter. I wasn't cold. I felt too warm. The rain wasn't supposed to be warm. But this was dream rain. Real rain was cold.

My hand fluttered down, falling at my side like a limp dead starfish.

What did they do with comatose bodies once they'd turned off the life support? Give them back to the relatives? But there was no way Alison would be able to afford a burial. Maybe a cremation.

But first there would be an autopsy. That filled me with cold terror, as I remembered the nightmare. Some doctor using a bone saw to cut off the top of my head, to lift out my brain.

_Boom. _

That seemed to break something inside me, one of the few pieces that was still intact.

I ran. For a while there was nothing but the motion of my body, the secure sense that I was moving, that the muscles in my legs were carrying me forward, that I was running and alive.

Only I wasn't.

A sensation grew inside my head, a pressure behind my eyes, a screaming desire to be gone. I wanted the real world back. I wanted it back before the man in the lab coat cut me open.

So I ran, ran faster and harder until I neared the cliff line.

I remembered reading that if you fell and hit the ground in your dreams, then you would die from the shock of it. That was why your mind woke you up just before you landed.

Lactic acid burned in my calves and thighs, but I kept running. _Maybe it will be like flying, _ I thought. Like I was a suicidal angel.

But I wouldn't die. I would just wake up.

_Boom. _

I smelt ozone. Was the dream trying to kill me with lightning before I could wake myself up?

I ran faster. One of my thighs was going to cramp up, but I would make it before that happened. I was only two metres away from the edge.

I closed my eyes and prepared to fly.

I had this idea that I was paused just on the edge of the cliff, the tip of one toe still touching but the rest of me soaring just before the fall, cheating gravity one last time, before Zuko's arms caught me around the waist.

If he hadn't been heavier than me he would have gone over too. Instead, he yanked me back, pulling hard. The momentum pulled us both backwards and I collapsed on top of him. In that instant I stopped being an angel and was clumsy and made of clay again.

'Are you _insane?'_ Zuko snarled. There was another flash of lightning, which illuminated his face. I had only seen him this angry once before - when we had first met.

I just stared at him blankly.

He pushed me off him and stood up. 'What, can't you talk?' he shouted, grabbing my arm and yanking me up. I stood awkwardly, feeling as though I was about to fall over, tips of my toes sinking into mud.

His hands grabbed my arms just above the elbows, squeezing hard. 'Why would you do that?' he yelled into my face.

I blinked again, and winced. 'Zuko, you're hurting me.'

'What's wrong with you?' He was oblivious. I saw his face, pale and tense and angry, and his eyes glittered. 'What's so bad that the only way to escape it is by killing yourself?'

I was taken aback. 'I…I wasn't trying to kill myself…' My eyes stung. 'I was just trying to wake up.'

He stared at me then. A drop of water traced its way down his cheek. He reached behind his back, and I thought for one irrational moment he was going to hit me. I flinched, Kyokushin forgotten, and then he took my hand in his other hand.

'Watch very carefully,' he said. I didn't register the sword blade in his other hand until it stung my palm, the soft fleshy part that was the other side of the knuckles.

I flinched, and stared at the cut. It was wide but not too deep, and bleeding profusely.

Zuko dropped the sword. It hit the ground with a dull thud. He held my hand up tightly, and I saw rain mingle with the blood.

'Do you see that?' he asked me. 'Does it hurt?'

I nodded dumbly.

'Dreams don't make you bleed.' He knelt down to pick up his sword, and my thigh chose then to cramp.

I fell to the ground, crying out in pain. Zuko scooped me up in his arms and carried me back to the beach house without a word.

When we got inside he laid me on the couch, and went into the kitchen. He came back and knelt down next to me.

'Where does it hurt?' he asked.

I pointed to my upper thigh, and he took my leg in his hands, pressing his fingers into the knotted muscle and slowly working out the cramp. It brought back memories of karate class. We'd do this for each other, if we had to.

When he'd finished he went back into the kitchen and came back with tea. He gave me my cup and stared at me. 'Drink it.'

I obediently sipped. He sat there until I'd finished, and then just stared at me some more.

I stared back. That did nothing to deter him.

Finally I said, 'Can you please stop staring at me like that? It's a little creepy.'

He blinked, startled, and I saw him blush. What did that mean?

'Uncle told me that you thought this world was a dream,' he said. 'I didn't think you were for real.'

'That's me,' I said feebly. 'One hundred per cent crazy, fo realz. How did you know where I was?'

'I was awake when you first started moving around,' he said.

I stared at him. 'What? I thought you were asleep!'

He shrugged. 'I can tell.' We were silent for a time, until I spoke.

'You're actually right.'

Zuko looked at me. 'What?'

'I've had…some pretty disturbing dreams,' I said, glossing it over, 'but I've never bled in one.'

'Welcome to the real world.' He took my tea cup and placed it on the table.

'Zuko?' I asked. 'Why did it make you so angry?'

He sat up. 'What?' His eyes were wary.

'Why were you so mad when you thought I was committing suicide?' I asked. 'Why…do you care?'

Zuko sighed. He looked downcast, almost melancholic. I recognised that look. The psychiatric hospital I'd been in before Alison had had its fair share of depressed people.

'You're going to find out anyway,' he muttered. He looked up at me, and I was once again struck by his eyes. They looked a darker gold now, like a lion's. 'The woman I loved…My wife, Mai. She killed herself and I have no idea why.'

'Oh,' I said in a small voice. 'I guess I can see why it might have pissed you off when you thought I was doing the same thing.'

His eyes glittered again. I didn't say anything. Even the Fire Lord needed to cry. 'Zuko?' I said cautiously. 'That's why you were angry when you thought Iroh was setting me up with you. That's why you're celibate, isn't it?' I wriggled closer.

He nodded just once. I guess he didn't trust himself enough to speak.

I very slowly, very tentatively, reached out and hugged him. He stiffened at first, and then relaxed when he realised it was just a hug.

'Everyone needs hugs, even the Fire Lord,' I said, sitting up.

'You should go to bed now,' he said. 'I'll sleep on the couch.'

'You don't have to do that,' I said, feeling awkward. But he'd already gone to lie down.

I walked upstairs, lying down in the bed. I lay there quietly, eyes open for a few minutes, before I finally fell asleep.


	19. Subterfuge

Thought it was probably best to let you know. There's mild sexual stuff in this one - nothing hardcore, but I thought it was best to advise everyone before they read it.

If you're offended by guys having dirty thoughts, start reading about a third of the way in. That is all from the Muffin Man.

Vivisection

Chapter 19 - Subterfuge

Zuko sat on the couch, silent and alone, and trying to forget.

The image was soldered in his brain. She had been a split second away from freefall, hair flaring up in the air in spite of gravity, blue-white light from electricity in the air glistening off the water on her skin. She had looked frozen in time, almost mesmerising.

And then later, on the couch…

Zuko's face burned. At the sight of the white dress clinging to Nemi's body, the soaked fabric virtually transparent, he had become instantly and painfully aroused for the first time in two years. She had glanced at him quizzically, said something about creepy staring, and he had thought with shame that she had noticed. Fortunately for him, she had remained blissfully ignorant.

Even when she had been speaking his eyes had gone to her mouth, with full lips and something sensual about it that had done nothing to dispel his erection. He had wondered why he had never noticed her mouth before, among other things.

Shame coursed through him. He had remained celibate since Mai's funeral for a reason. The crux of that reason was that he hadn't looked at another woman with anything like lust, let alone love, since her death.

At least his physical reaction to Nemi's barely concealed body, the wet white cloth clinging to her breasts and showing the dark circles of her nipples, had been purely lust. Love was an alien emotion to Zuko now. Love had been something he had felt exclusive to Mai, and no one else. The sight of an attractive half-naked woman lying down in front of him had just caught him off guard.

Because Nemi was attractive, extremely so. His baser instincts pictured taking the dress off her and pulling her down into a bed.

There had been a reason he had offered to sleep on the couch. The Nemi his body was fantasising about was lying on a bed naked, hooking her long legs around his back. The real-life Nemi would probably punch him in the face if he so much as flirted with her. Which he had no desire to do.

Zuko forced the forbidden thoughts in his mind away. _She's my bodyguard, damn it, _he thought. _If she knew what I was thinking right now she'd kick me in the groin. _

All thoughts of lust were banished along with the silence when a scream came from upstairs.

Zuko ran up and burst into the bedroom. Nemi was tangled up in the sheets, eyes closed, voice raised in a high sobbing scream of terror. He leaned forward and grasped her shoulders. 'What's wrong?'

It was then that he realised she was asleep. Her eyelids fluttered, revealing crescent moons of white.

She screamed again, then her voice cracked. Zuko noticed that her arms and legs were rigid, almost as if in whatever nightmare she was experiencing she was tied down. Her fingers twitched, like dying spiders.

She was whispering now. At first Zuko thought it was unintelligible sleep-talk, until she gasped.

'Please…' She took in a gulp of air. 'Please make it stop.'

Zuko let her fall forward against his chest, his hands still placed rather awkwardly on her shoulders. 'It's all right,' he murmured, 'it's okay, I'll make it stop.'

He was at a loss. Should he try to wake her up? He had heard somewhere that waking a sleepwalker could be dangerous, even fatal - people had been known to die from the shock. Did the same thing apply to sleep-talkers?

'No, no no no…No!' She screamed again, breath trailing out of her in uneven gasps afterwards, which turned into whispers. 'Don't cut me open. Please…'

That chilled Zuko. He suddenly wondered what exactly her subconscious was putting her through. He held her tightly to him, whispering into the top of her head. 'It's all right,' he said again, feeling useless.

She started screaming again, the sobbing scream, twisting and flailing in his arms, her limbs still sticking out awkwardly but now straining forward as if pulling at restraints. It was a scream that Zuko knew very well. That scream had come out of him when his father had melted half his face off. It was a scream of terrible, unendurable pain and horror.

He made a decision - whatever nightmare this was, it was torturing her, actually _torturing _her, and it was scaring the hell out of him too.

'Nemi!' he said loudly.

She didn't respond. She was still screaming, her body gone limp. Her eyelids fluttered up again to reveal whites - her eyes were rolled up into her head.

_Idiot, _Zuko thought to himself, _of course her subconscious wouldn't respond to her alias. _

'Lisana!' he shouted.

She jerked, the scream trailing off, and fell backwards, looking for all the world like a normal sleeping girl. Zuko sat there, waiting, feeling anxious. How long should he wait before he tried to check a pulse or something?

Then her eyes opened, and relief went through him as he saw blue irises.

'Are you all right?' he demanded.

She blinked, sitting up. Then her face fell. 'I had a nightmare, didn't I?' she asked.

Zuko paused, and then nodded.

Nemi's eyes narrowed. 'Did you call me Lisana?'

'Yes,' he admitted. 'Uncle told me your real name.'

She lay back, looking dazed.

Zuko perched on the end of the bed, feeling awkward. 'You get them a lot, I guess,' he said.

Nemi nodded. 'Ever since - something really bad that happened, not too long ago. I'd appreciate it if you didn't ask me what it was.'

'How long ago was it?'

Nemi sighed. 'I was sixteen when it happened,' she said. 'Ever since then I've had these nightmares. Usually something happens that triggers them, though - like I see someone or something that reminds me of the bad thing. I don't know why it happened now.'

Zuko remained silent. He'd just witnessed something that was obviously personal, that Nemi was maybe even ashamed of, and felt like an intruder. It was more awkward than anything else - he was the Fire Lord, and the Fire Lord just didn't get that close to people, especially if they weren't family or a very, very close friend. At least she had changed out of the wet nightdress into a clean dry one. All this moment needed to make it more awkward would be a boner on his part.

'This is kind of embarrassing,' she said, looking down. 'First you have to come out in the rain to save my life, and then you get woken up by me having a screaming nutso fit.'

'It's okay,' Zuko said, feeling like it was anything but.

'I'm seventeen now, so I've had them for a year,' Nemi continued. 'You'd think my subconscious would have found a way to stop them by now. I guess not.'

'I've had nightmares in the past too,' he replied, which was true. 'About how I got…this.' He gestured at his scar.

'I'm guessing it wasn't a firebending accident,' she said.

'Not exactly.' He told her the story of Ozai, the war room, the Agni Kai and his banishment.

Nemi stared at him in wonder. 'You were only fourteen.'

Zuko nodded. 'I was ashamed of the scar for a long time. I thought that whenever anyone looked at me, they saw only shame and dishonour. I thought no woman would ever love me.'

'But your wife did,' she interjected. 'Mai.'

The familiar sadness came back, followed by a heavy bleak feeling at the front of his mind. Zuko sat there in silence.

'I'm sorry,' Nemi said. 'That was probably the wrong thing to say.'

Zuko didn't reply.

'Hey,' she said, putting a hand on his shoulder. 'We go back to the Fire Nation today, huh?'

'Yes,' he replied. 'It's the day of the solstice. Very early in the morning on the day of the solstice.'

Nemi blushed. 'Sorry.'

'I was sleeping badly anyway,' Zuko muttered. He looked down at her, and thought. 'What would you prefer me to call you, anyway? Nemi, or Lisana?'

Nemi looked surprised. 'You're being awfully courteous to someone who woke you up in the middle of the night - twice - and insulted you for pretty much the past week and whacked you in the side during a practice spar.'

Zuko lifted his shirt, showing her the yellow-purple bruise that had formed. She whistled. 'That's the power of Kyokushin.' She looked up at him. 'Kyokushin's my fighting style. And Nemi's probably better. It sounds more like it fits with the rest of you.'

She stood up. 'I think I should probably forget about going back to sleep now. I'm going to go out to run. You can come with me if you want, unless you're lazy and want to sleep.'

'I've got nothing better to do,' Zuko said, looking around for his boots.

As they got ready and headed out the door, Zuko glanced at Nemi. _Why are you celibate? _he thought. _Why do you choose to be alone? _

Looking at her didn't give anything away. Zuko remembered how he had thought she was attractive, and wondered if that had been a trick of the light or something.

It wasn't as if she was hideous or ugly - she was perfectly normal-looking - but nothing about her appearance inspired any reaction in him.

_What are you hiding, Lisana? _he thought to himself.


	20. Touché

Yeah, I know, this is a hellsa long chapter, my longest yet. For those of you who have been hanging out for the romance, there's sort of/kind of/almost some there. Or is there? You'll have to figure it out for yourself.

Muahahahaha! Review if you have nothing better to do with your time!

Vivisection

Chapter 20 - Touché

I stared at my wardrobe, biting my lip and remembering what Iroh had said.

We'd gotten back to the Fire Nation today. Zuko had been jumpy as all hell, and secretly so had I, although I had kept my cool in front of him. I figured that if I showed that I was freaked out, it would do nothing whatsoever to keep him calm. And I'd freaked out in front of Zuko enough already.

God. He probably thought I was a lunatic, or worse. He'd been far too nice about it. I'd brought it up just after breakfast, wanting to apologise, but he'd cut through my stammered blushing apology with an 'It's okay.' Since then, he hadn't said a word about it.

I kept waiting for him to say something scornful, or worse, to have me quietly committed to whatever institution he'd put his sister in. No, he'd probably learnt his lesson about dangerous crazies. I'd get dumped straight in a high-security prison cell.

At least that couldn't happen until after tonight. I was supposed to make sure Zuko didn't get killed.

And clean up nice at the same time.

Iroh had told me that tonight there was going to be a huge dinner event, a feast of sorts, and the entire ranks of the Fire Nation nobility was going to be there. 'It's very important that you take care of your appearance,' he had said, glancing at the dirt-scuffed pants and loose shirt I had been wearing at the time. 'The eyes of everyone in the room will be on my nephew. And also on you. You're quite the celebrity, Nemi.' He had smiled.

I had looked at him, puzzled. 'Why? Because I'm your nephew's bodyguard?'

'No, because you're a woman who won a fighting tournament, and because you're a woman who has been trusted with guarding the Fire Lord's life,' Iroh had said. 'Gossip spreads like wildfire among those at court.'

I had nodded, understanding. There were big expectations of me, and I had to live up to them.

Right now, I felt like telling the Fire Nation court to go fuck themselves. I had no idea what to wear. If this was anything like the royal courts I'd read about in books, there was going to be a subtle, very intricate social code that I would have absolutely no idea about. I would be judged from the moment I walked in the room. What would constitute overdressed? What would constitute shabby and second-hand? Most of my clothes had belonged to someone else, for God's sake. They didn't fit me that well either. Especially not the tighter, dressier stuff. Azula had been petite, with smaller breasts than me. Not that that was difficult.

And was I supposed to wear makeup? Oh, God, I hated makeup.

There was a knock at the door. 'Come in,' I called out, trying not to let the panic in my voice become audible.

It was Qing and three other girls, each carrying two buckets. 'Your bath water, my lady,' she said, somehow managing to do a curtsey.

'Um…thanks,' I said, watching them trudge into the bathroom. Freaking out, freaking out…

'What are you wearing to dinner tonight, Lady Turunen?' one of them called out.

'Unnggh,' I moaned. 'I wish I knew.'

The girls came back out of the bathroom. Qing in particular looked concerned. 'If you need me to help you, lady Turunen, I will,' she said. 'It's my job.'

I buried my face in my hands. 'I have no idea what I'm supposed to wear. No idea how I'm supposed to interact with these people. I have the world's shittiest social skills.'

'No, you don't,' Qing said. I looked up. 'You are at the Fire Lord's side. You were personally chosen by his uncle,' she continued, speaking firmly and looking me in the eye. 'There is a subtle hierarchy, of who kneels to whom. At the top of this hierarchy is the Fire Lord, then after him his heir and immediate family. Then it is those who are closest to him. You are by his side every day, sunrise until sunset. Therefore, unofficially speaking, you rank higher than the generals in his war council, but lower than his uncle, who is family.'

I stared at her, open-mouthed. It was like the first time I had seen Shihan throw a back spinning roundhouse kick. 'Teach me,' I squeaked.

Qing smiled, going over to my wardrobe and flicking through the clothes. 'None of these will do. They will not fit you well. The noblewomen will notice that. Mika, can you find her something to wear?' she called over her shoulder.

One of the girls, tall and lanky with long dark hair, walked forwards. 'Can you stand up for me, my lady?' she asked. I stood, and she pulled my shirt behind my back, tight against my body. She looked, and nodded, as if memorising. She straightened. 'I will find her something that fits,' she said, leaving the room.

Qing gave me a gentle push in the direction of the bathroom. 'You need to bathe, my lady. I will talk while you do.'

I did as she said.

'What is most important is how you talk to them,' Qing explained. 'At all times, whenever you talk to anyone in the room, you must remember your position in the hierarchy. When you speak to General Iroh or Fire Lord Zuko, you must be polite and subservient. You may only converse on a more familiar level if they invite you to. You cannot act overly familiar with Fire Lord Zuko. There are rumours.' She paused.

'Hang on.' I twisted in the bathtub. 'What rumours?'

'Only what small-minded people invent. The usual tired third-hand gossip, an inference from a friend of a friend. In this case, that you are a second-rate fighter and the Fire Lord is bedding you on the side because you are foreign, unusual-looking and hence have exotic appeal.'

I started, but she cut in before I could say anything. 'No one who matters believes it - but everything hinges on their impression of you tonight.'

'Yeah, no pressure or anything,' I muttered, standing up and drying myself off. I wrapped one of the towels around my body and walked out of the room. 'Go on.'

'Everyone else in the room besides General Iroh and Fire Lord Zuko is inferior to you,' Qing said, looking at me. 'They will initiate conversation with you, not the other way around. They will be trying to gain favour with the Fire Lord by gaining favour with you.'

'Not bloody likely,' I grumbled. 'Friggin' Fire Lord doesn't listen to anything I say.'

'Get it out of your system now, because you can't use slang or swear in that room.' Qing was looking at me urgently. 'You cannot afford to come across as a coarse commoner woman of low birth.'

_That's exactly what I am, _I thought. _My ancestors on my dad's side were German peasants. And on my mother's side they were Finnish peasants. Well, farmers, but close enough. _

'When these other people speak to you, you must remain very aloof and condescending. Later in the evening, you may relax if you wish, but it is seen as uncouth to encourage familiarity with lower classes. This is why it is important that you avoid speaking too much to the Fire Lord and his uncle early in the evening. Greetings are fine, but very little else.' The doorknob turned and Qing glanced over. Mika walked in with a bundle of red and black clothes that looked like silk. Probably were.

She handed them to me. 'My lady.'

I thanked her, and went into the bathroom to put them on. Mika had gotten me underwear too. 'Hey, no one else has worn this, have they?' I called out.

'Of course not. I told the merchants at the clothing emporium that I needed clothes for a favourite of the royalty, and he let me take whatever I wanted.' Mika sounded pleased with herself.

I lifted it up. What looked like a strapless bra and underpants, both red silk. Mika was obviously gifted at guessing sizes. The bra fit me perfectly, which was rare. I hadn't ever worn anything this expensive-looking under my clothes. _Maybe I'll keep it for a special occasion,_ I thought to myself, and then laughed. _Or not. _Celibacy rendered fancy underwear kind of useless.

'Um, a little help here?' I called out, lifting the dress-thingy and realising I had no idea how to put it on.

Qing stepped into the bathroom. She slid the red silk skirt over my head, and I realised there was something which looked like a black corset attached. She pulled it onto me and started doing it up the back.

'This doesn't look weird, does it?' I asked.

She laughed. 'No, my lady. It's what all the noblewomen are wearing. Mika chose well.'

Once I was dressed she tugged me by the arm out of the room and sat me down on the bed. Mika started combing out my hair and one of the other girls was holding something which looked worryingly like lipstick. 'Hold still,' she said.

'Mnnngh.' Gah. Iroh had better appreciate this.

Mika twisted part of my hair up in a knot behind my head, letting the rest hang loose. She fastened it with a pin.

The girl who had put the lipstick on me was now sticking some very uncomfortable-feeling shoes on my feet. When she was done I stood up. 'Do I look okay?' I asked.

Qing nodded. 'What's important is how you act. Walk with a straight back. When you see the Fire Lord and his uncle, bow like this.' She demonstrated. 'When everyone sits down to eat, wait until the Fire Lord takes a mouthful. Then everyone else in the room may eat.'

'Got it,' I said, giving her a thumbs up. 'Thank y-'

'Get out of here, my Lady,' she said, shoving me out the door. 'If you do not leave now you will be late. And not off to a good start.'

I walked, going over and over the stuff Qing had told me in my head. Damn, these shoes sucked. They were red silk slippers, but my feet weren't used to them and I would probably have blisters by the end of the night. What fun.

I came to the main hall - where we usually ate meals, just me and Zuko and Iroh - and opened the door.

I nearly had a panic attack.

It was full of people. Well-dressed women and equally well-dressed men, all looking as though they had oodles of social poise where I had none. And I noticed something else too. I was about a head taller than all the other women in the room, and about four sizes bigger. Azula hadn't been an exception - all the women here were pale, dark-haired, pretty and petite, laughing and smiling at their husbands' or dates' jokes.

I could have taken any of them in the first ten seconds of a Kyokushin match and for once that wasn't a source of pride. I wasn't fat by anybody's standards but here I felt big, ungainly and awkward. I was surprised Mika had been able to find anything in my size if all Fire Nation women were built like this.

I walked towards the front of the room, where Zuko and Iroh were standing. _It's okay, _I told myself, even though part of me was terrified of making a dreadful _faux pas _in front of all these people. _I'm supposed to be attending him. I'm his damn bodyguard. _

Not that I'd be able to do any guarding in these shoes. At least they were slip-ons and hence good for quick ditching if anyone decided to pull a knife.

I stood at Zuko's side. He was wearing black and red, trimmed with gold. A long red cloak was fastened at his shoulders. He looked down, saw me and did a noticeable double take.

'You…look nice,' he said.

I rolled my eyes, whispering back. 'Gee, thanks,' I replied. 'That surprised tone is really flattering.'

'Why are you whispering?' he asked.

'Apparently I'm not supposed to talk to you yet.'

Zuko laughed. 'Fuck social convention,' he said, keeping the profanity quiet.

I looked at him in surprise. 'Wow. The Fire Lord swore. Have you been drinking?'

Zuko shook his head. 'They haven't brought out the rice wine yet.'

I remembered my earlier plan to ply Zuko with alcohol, and grinned. There was no real point to that now, since Zuko had told me the deep dark secret of his own free will.

'My point is,' he continued, 'I'm the Fire Lord. I can do whatever I want and no one in this room can stop me.'

'Sounds like you ordered a side of dictatorship there,' I said. 'Might want to keep that quiet or you'll have a civil uprising on your hands.'

'I'm at the top of this ladder of social bowing and scraping. I don't really care.'

'You might not care, but I've heard there's rumours going around about us like a bout of swine flu. And it's my reputation that'll suffer, not yours.'

'I'm not even going to ask what swine flu is. What rumours?' He looked curious.

'By all accounts, it's your standard gossip-mongering,' I said darkly. 'They think I'm your concubine or something ridiculous like that.'

It could have been my imagination, but I thought I saw his gold eyes flick down over my body, lingering on my breasts and hips. 'You'd probably castrate me in my sleep,' he said dismissively, and I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.

'Too right.' Everyone had started to head towards the tables at the far end of the room. I walked with Zuko. We neared the end of the table, close to Iroh. 'I have heard there is roast duck,' he said, looking excited.

Zuko rolled his eyes, looking back at me.

'Nemi,' Iroh said, looking at me. 'You look very nice.'

'Thanks,' I said, glaring at Zuko as if to say, _See? Your uncle got it right. _'I have to say, I'm enjoying this complete lack of regard for discreet social code of conduct.'

Iroh frowned. 'What?'

'I'm supposed to wait until halfway through dinner to talk to you two,' I said. 'This makes me unseemly or something. Or so I've been told.'

'I highly doubt anyone will reprimand you for bad behaviour,' Iroh snorted. 'It's safe to say none of the available young men in the room will.'

I looked around, and noticed that a significant percentage of the men in the room who were around Zuko's age were eyeing me like I was a piece of meat and they were all starving tigers. One in particular, who would have been in his early twenties and was sort of good-looking if you liked that sort of thing, ran his eyes over my body, then met my accusing gaze with a half-smile that I knew meant he was picturing me naked and doing something mature-rated.

I glared back at him, and mouthed, _Try it and you die, bitch. _He blanched and looked down at his plate. Obviously he had some skill at lip-reading.

'Ha. I think you made that one crap himself.' Zuko wasn't even trying to hide his amusement.

'Some girls can put up with stupid people hitting on them all day, but those girls are a lot more patient than me,' I growled. 'I have an upper limit. I can put up with one and then after that they all get punched in the face.'

'Really?' Zuko said, looking down at me.

I nodded.

'Well,' he said, shifting slightly closer, 'I have to say that I wouldn't mind having you as my concubine.' He smiled crookedly, and I was embarrassed and ashamed to feel a tingling in my chest and between my legs.

I flushed bright red. 'Dear God,' I said slowly, torn between a desire to rip his testicles off and something else. 'You _have _been drinking. You've got no sense of self-preservation.'

Zuko turned to face the front. 'Don't get the wrong idea. I now get to sit back and enjoy the show.'

'What show?' I demanded.

'The one where you punch any man who talks to you in the face. I used up the upper limit. You actually thought I was flirting with you?'

I swallowed. 'No. You just happen to be very good at pretending to be an arrogant douchebag.' _Stupid, stupid, _I thought. _He has hellsa issues about his wife killing herself. How dumb can you get?_

Servants had come in, unbeknownst to us, and put food down on the table. I straightened in my seat, feeling like an idiot. Social _faux pas _would have been better than this.

I was pretty much waiting for the night to hurry up and be over. Admittedly, the roast duck did smell really, really good.


	21. Crimson

Sorry about the wait for the new chapters. I was being a cave troll again. There's dramaticness in this chapter! Have fun, and tell me what you think.

Vivisection

Chapter 21 - Crimson

_Damn, _Zuko thought to himself. _Damn damn damn. _

Why in Agni had she worn that outfit? His eyes took on a life of their own and roamed over everything it accentuated, particularly the curve of her breasts above the top of the corset.

Had she been trying to make herself tempting to him? Of course not, she was too fucking clueless for that.

She had picked up a piece of duck with her chopsticks and was sliding it into her mouth. Zuko stared at her mouth, knowing he was staring at her like she was something to eat, just like the rest of the men in the room.

_Why couldn't you have been hideous, Lisana? Why couldn't the female fighter who won that Earth Kingdom tournament have been short and fat and completely undesirable?_

That train of thought broke off because Zuko had started imagining what her mouth could do. He could tell that the muscular young man three seats down from her was doing the same thing. He was staring at Lisana - Nemi - with a predatory expression of lust on his face.

Zuko glared at him, and he flinched and looked away. Zuko felt like a hypocrite. He glanced at Lisana's thigh, outlined against the tight silk skirt. To distract himself, he moved his fingers up his ribs until he felt the tenderness of the bruise.

He had been lucky. That stupid comment he had made about her being his concubine - She had nearly caught him then, nearly guessed what he was really thinking.

Zuko wished he _had _been drinking. Then he would have at least had an excuse for disrespecting Mai's memory.

The fact that he hadn't lain with a woman in two years probably wasn't helping. It was as if his body had remembered lust when it had seen Lisana's body, and was making up for lost time with a vengeance.

No, he was celibate. Celibate, curse it!

Zuko just hoped it would pass soon. It would only get more awkward if it didn't.

'Aren't you going to eat anything?' It was his uncle, looking up at him. Zuko stuck a piece of duck in his mouth, not tasting it. He wanted to taste _her,_ taste the inside of her mouth, among other things.

A sudden mental image assaulted him of Lisana lying down on a bed, naked and moaning, legs parted, with him kneeling in between them and…tasting her.

Zuko swore under his breath.

'So anyway…aren't the Avatar and his friends supposed to be coming?' Lisana asked him.

Zuko tried not to look uncomfortable. 'He said he'd be late. He's showing up after dinner. He doesn't eat meat, remember?'

Lisana nodded, going back to her food.

Once everyone had finished the servants carried the food away, and everyone who was anyone in the Fire Nation stood up from their seats, back to the intricate dance of the unofficial political hierarchy.

Iroh yawned. 'I must say, I find these things dreadfully boring.'

'You're not the only one,' Lisana replied. 'I hate small talk.'

Privately Zuko agreed with her. He didn't understand why people spent conversations talking about nothing. He could think of better things to do with his time.

'When do we get to leave?' she asked Iroh.

Iroh smiled. 'Generally everyone leaves at different times. However, you leave whenever my nephew does.'

'I hope you're not planning on sticking around for long,' Lisana said, turning to him. 'This doesn't feel right.'

'What do you mean?' he replied.

'Look around,' she said in a low tone. 'Any one of these people could be an assassin. They could kill you and get away easily by hiding in the crowd. I'm just incredibly glad sniper rifles don't exist in this place.' She pointed to a balcony higher up. 'A clear shot from up there could blow your brains out, no problem.'

'I can tell you're having fun tonight,' Zuko replied, at the same time thinking, _What the hell's a sniper rifle?_

'Tell me that we get to do _something _fun which doesn't endanger your life before the solstice is over,' she sighed.

Before he could answer, the tone of conversation in the room changed abruptly. The volume of anyone speaking had dropped to a whisper. Zuko looked away from Lisana and saw blue and green outfits amidst a sea of black and red.

Aang approached them. 'Great party you've got going here,' he said, looking around without enthusiasm.

'I can't believe you wouldn't let me get here in time for food,' Sokka grumbled. In the time since Zuko had last seen him, he had gotten taller, as well as grown his hair out. Suki was standing at his side, with the Water Tribe man's arm around her waist. He glanced at Zuko, grinning. 'It's good to see you.'

His sister stepped forward and embraced Zuko. Katara had changed very little. She looked almost the same as she had two years ago, except for the fact that she had put her hair in its Water Tribe loops again. 'How have you been?' she asked.

'All right,' Zuko muttered. He'd heard that sentence often enough to be thoroughly sick of it.

Last but not least, something struck his arm. 'Ow!' He looked down to see Toph, who as usual was barefoot. The blind earthbender turned her head in Lisana's direction, sightless milky eyes resting on her. 'So this is the famous female fighter,' she said. 'You're pretty tall for a girl.'

Lisana shrugged. 'So I've been told.'

'What's your name?' Toph asked.

'I'm Nemi Turunen,' she said, reaching out her hand. 'Who are you? And…no offence or anything, but how do you know what I look like?'

Toph waved a hand dismissively. 'I see with earthbending. I can tell you're tall because of the way you're standing and where you put weight on your feet. I'm Toph Bei Fong.'

Lisana stared at her. 'That's totally awesome.'

Toph grinned. 'I know. Are you as good as everyone in the Earth Kingdom says you are?'

'If they're saying I won some tournament, then I guess I am,' she replied.

'We should spar some time,' Toph said, turning back to Zuko. 'So what's going on?'

Zuko filled them in quickly, speaking in a low voice. When he'd finished all of them were staring at him in dismay.

'Azula's escaped?' Aang whispered.

'Great,' Suki muttered.

'Terrific,' Sokka said. 'She'll probably bust your dad out and they'll get together and use you for target practice.'

The rest of them stared at him. 'What?' Sokka protested. 'He knows the deal. She's _his _sister.'

'We arranged to have the palace guards doubled tonight and a bunch of other stuff,' Lisana interrupted. 'I just hope it's going to work.'

'What other security arrangements have you made?' Sokka asked her, all business.

Lisana explained the precautions they'd taken, while Sokka listened carefully. When she finished, he spoke. 'It might be a good idea for us five to walk around the palace grounds. If the soldiers miss anything, we'll pick it up.' He grinned. 'Just like old times, huh, guys?'

'I'm up for it,' Aang said, and Katara nodded. 'Me too.'

'Don't leave me out,' Suki said, and Toph punched the air with a fist.

'I'll come too -' Zuko started saying. But Lisana cut him off.

'No, you bloody well won't,' she said, glaring at him. 'Stop trying to make my job harder. Know how much easier it would be for someone to have a go at you in a dark garden where no one's around to watch?'

Zuko glared back. 'I'm the Fire Lord. I can do what I wish.'

'Don't even think about pulling that shit on me, Daisy,' she snapped. 'You'll stay inside like a good boy. We'll play cards in my room or something.'

Iroh interrupted. 'She has a point, Zuko.'

'I can take care of myself,' Zuko muttered, but gave in.

'Perhaps you can teach her how to play Pai Sho,' Iroh suggested.

Zuko shot him the filthiest look he could.

They left the room, and Lisana let out a sigh of relief. 'Thank God. A corridor's much easier to handle.'

Zuko glared at her. 'So much for _doing something fun. _I thought you wanted to see fireworks.'

'Look, I'm trying to keep _you _alive,' she pointed out. 'And besides, I owe you one. You saved my life, remember?' She held up her palm. The cut was still pink and raw.

Zuko didn't argue after that.

They walked up to the royal quarters in silence. Zuko's mind wandered. He still felt guilty and ashamed of himself for fantasising about her, particularly when he pictured what Mai would think.

Lisana paused. 'Did you hear something?' she asked him.

Zuko shook his head.

She frowned. 'It sounded like -' Her face froze. 'Someone's following us.'

Zuko heard the next footstep. He saw the figure in black turn the corner, heard the _shiick_ of a knife blade being drawn. Somehow, perception in slow motion robbed him of his ability to move. He was frozen.

The knife blade flew through the air, and Lisana leapt. Zuko heard the soft thud of the blade as it sank into her flesh.

'Guards!' he yelled, recovering some presence of mind. Lisana staggered. The assassin was coming at them and had drawn a pair of longer daggers, glinting wickedly sharp in the candlelight.

Lisana straightened and swung her leg, just as the assassin lunged. Her leg collided with the assassin's head, and the assassin promptly collapsed. The figure in black fell to the floor, knocked out cold.

Zuko stepped towards Lisana, his eyes fixed on the knife blade stuck in her midsection. It had entered her just below her left breast, and she gasped as if the pain had only just manifested itself. She stumbled, falling to the ground. Zuko held her under the arms, lifting her up into a sitting position. He brushed the hair back from her face, keeping it out of her mouth.

'Now…we're even,' she panted.

'Shut up, you fool,' Zuko said harshly, keeping the concern out of his voice. 'You've been stabbed, for Agni's sake.'

Lisana looked down at the knife handle sticking out of her. She blanched, and Zuko tilted her head up.

'Just breathe slowly,' he told her.

'Shihan…right,' she murmured. 'Knife…burns.' Her eyes rolled back into her head and she went limp.

'Shit!' Zuko whispered, pressing his fingers to the point in her neck where he knew the carotid artery should be. He thanked Agni when he felt a pulse. It was an unsteady, erratic pulse, but it was there.

'Where the fuck are my guards?' he bellowed.

With that, Iroh came around the corner. He saw Lisana unconscious, and gasped. Then his eyes went to the assassin, still on the floor.

'Are you hurt, Zuko?' he asked.

'No! But she _is_!' Zuko shouted. 'Get Katara!'

Iroh lifted the unconscious body of the assassin over his shoulder. 'I will remove this before it wakes up. I will search for Katara.'

Zuko stared in panic at Lisana's face, bloodless and white with pale lips. He was no doctor. He had no idea what to do.

'You got stabbed and still you managed to defend me,' he said softly. Blood was trickling out the corner of her mouth. Zuko wiped it away with his fingers. It left a crimson smear on her cheek.

Breathing blood. Even Zuko knew that meant the knife had punctured a lung.

'Zuko!' It was Katara, running along the corridor. She knelt down next to Lisana, unfastening the leather canteen of water from where it hung around her waist. She glanced at the knife handle, saw the blood smear and paled. She looked up at Zuko.

'She might not survive,' she said softly.

Zuko swallowed. 'Please do whatever you can for her. She saved my life.'

Katara pulled at the handle, gently sliding it out. The metallic blade came out red and glistening, which made him afraid. She placed it aside. 'I don't think the knife was poisoned,' she said. 'If it had been, she'd probably be dead by now.'

Katara reached to the back of Lisana's corset. Zuko flushed and turned around. He heard the sound of Katara bending water. Then there was a long pause.

'I'm going to have to give her stitches,' Katara said. 'The water won't heal it enough for it to stay closed.' Zuko heard her reach into the bag at her waist. There was another long pause, and then he heard Katara doing up the corset.

'I did everything I could,' she said, as he turned around. 'She'll need to lie in bed for the next week, at least. You have to get someone to make sure she doesn't move around at all. If the stitches break open she'll start bleeding again. I think I healed all the deeper tissue, I'm pretty sure I fixed the lung, but I can't know for certain.'

'Thank you. Thank you so much.' Zuko moved one arm around Lisana's back, another under her knees, and lifted her. 'I'm going to take her to her room.'

Katara looked up at him. 'Just remember that she might die. Don't thank me yet.' Her eyes were sad.

Zuko thought of Mai then. _Lisana won't die if I have anything to do with it, _he thought. _I won't let another person die. _


	22. Experimental Error

Me having some Halo fandom here. So mad that I don't have an Xbox 360. All those people playing the Halo: Reach beta version…None of them are me!!! Damn you, Microsoft! Where's the PC version?!?

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Vivisection

Chapter 22 - Experimental Error

* * *

I felt myself slowly surface into consciousness. My eyelids fluttered open. I saw the blankness of a ceiling - not my room's ceiling. Pale light came through a nearby window - it was morning.

I tried to pull myself up into a sitting position, but was stopped by a sharp, searing pain in my upper ribcage. I wondered briefly if I had pulled a muscle, and then remembered.

There was the sound of a door opening. Footsteps approached me, and I saw Zuko standing above me.

'Lie down, you idiot,' he said. There was something strange in his face. I almost thought it was concern, then dismissed it.

'Have I been unconscious all night?' I asked, rubbing my head.

'Not exactly. You've been drifting in and out of consciousness for about four days,' Zuko admitted, looking slightly guilty.

'_What?!' _I exploded, trying to sit up again and failing. 'You let me sleep for four freaking days?'

'I asked Katara to give you…certain plants which would ensure dreamless sleep,' he said. 'That was the trade-off.'

I sank back down. 'Oh.'

'On the island, when I came into your room,' he continued, looking down at me, 'you were…well, screaming and crying and thrashing around. You would have torn the stitches open. You said something about a trigger for the nightmares. I thought getting stabbed might have done it.'

'Wait…I have stitches? I've never had stitches before.' I reached down - I was wearing some kind of loose white gown. I reached my hand inside it, and sure enough, the sore puffy flesh was lacerated with stitching.

'You bled a lot. Katara said you might die.'

I waved that away. 'I'm a big girl. It takes more than some clown with a knife to kill me.'

Zuko snorted.

'Anyways,' I continued, 'did you find out who sent the assassin?'

Zuko nodded. 'A group of Earth Kingdom rebels. It was nothing to do with Azula. It was lucky you knocked her out cold. She had a poison capsule under her tongue. My uncle checked her mouth just in case, found it, and took it out.'

'She?' For some reason, this surprised me. 'The assassin was a woman?'

Zuko looked uncomfortable. 'They chose her for her physical resemblance to Mai. And her skill at knife throwing.'

I looked up at him, pity softening my reply. 'That's sick.'

His face darkened. 'I know. And you got hurt. I'm sorry for that.'

Wow. Zuko apologising? Weird.

'Isn't that in the job description?' I said. 'I kind of expected to be dealing with life-threatening stuff as soon as Iroh said the word _bodyguard. _Like I said, I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself.'

'Thank you for saving my life, Nemi,' he said, bowing his head.

'I'd be in so much shit if I hadn't,' I grumbled, struggling to get upright again.

He laughed. I scowled at him. 'What?'

'You're too stubborn to ask for help,' he said, leaning over me. He lifted me up by the shoulders, pulling up the pillow behind me so it supported my back.

I glared at him. 'Excuse me, but I don't need men to do things for me. I can do them myself.'

'Keep telling yourself that,' he said.

'Surely you've got something better to do. Like, for example, not sitting in my room and belittling me.'

'Actually, I was going to tell you something. When you woke up.'

'Well, what is it?' I said, irritated. 'Get it over with.'

'My uncle thought it would be a good idea if…you moved into the room next to me.' He looked down. 'It's supposed to be for the Fire Lord's personal guard, but my father never used it. If you don't want to…'

'No, that'd be good, actually.'

He looked surprised. 'I thought you'd be angry at having to sleep near me.'

I rolled my eyes. 'Dude, I slept in the same bed as you. I think I can deal with being in the next room. And it's kind of creepy, sleeping in your insane sister's room.'

He nodded, seeming to understand.

'Anything else?' I asked. 'Or are you just going to hang around and bug me?'

'Not really.' He shrugged. 'I wanted to make sure you were okay.'

I found this as touching as it was unexpected. 'That's really sweet of you and everything, Zuko,' I said, 'but trust me, I'm fine.'

He looked unconvinced.

'I'm half Finnish,' I assured him. 'Nothing wussy comes out of Finland.'

'I don't even know where Finland _is,_' he muttered.

'I'll punch you if you want,' I suggested. 'Then you'll be able to see that I've retained my awesome toughness.'

He sighed. 'Go back to sleep.'

'Hell no, I did that for the last four days.' I looked at him. 'How long do I have to stay in bed?'

'Katara says another week,' Zuko replied.

I then proceeded to make various zombie brain-eating noises, finishing off with a growl for good measure.

'I'm going to be so fucking bored!' I yelled.

'Uncle wants to teach you Pai Sho,' he said. 'Have fun with that for a week.'

'Damn you, Zuko,' I muttered. 'Go to hell.'

* * *

I walked out of my room - well, walked out through Zuko's room on the way. My door went into his room, and then I had to go out through his door to get out. That felt a little weird. Every time I went in or out, I was walking past the place where he slept, dreamed, thought, spent his spare time. It was far more personal than it had been on Ember Island, sharing a room - Zuko _lived _here. I wondered how celibate he actually was. It would be really awkward if I walked in while he was banging some maid or nobleman's daughter or something.

Hey, he was royalty. It was the kind of thing they did. That is, if Phillippa Gregory was to be believed.

It had been two weeks since I had woken up after the attempt on Zuko's life. I was almost back to normal - the stitches had been taken out, which had really fuckin' hurt. Apparently there was no such thing as anaesthetic in this place.

It frightened me more than a little that this place was real. If the cut Zuko had inflicted on my palm hadn't proven it to me, then the stab wound had. It was almost healed over now, faded to a wrinkled purple line of scar tissue. My first real scar. I suspected it wouldn't be the last. Iroh had taught me the rudiments of the writing of this world while I'd been in bed for a week. The script was surprisingly similar to Japanese kanji. He'd also beaten me repeatedly at Pai Sho, but claimed just as repeatedly that I would be sure to improve with time.

I adjusted my glasses on my nose, feeling morose, and almost walked into Zuko and his uncle.

'Shit!' I started. 'I'm sorry.'

'The fault is all ours, Nemi,' Iroh said graciously, doing a Fire Nation bow. 'What are your plans for today?'

I'd been relieved of bodyguard duty, and was due to start again in the next three days.

I shrugged. 'Not much, really.'

'You could go and watch Zuko train,' he suggested. 'I know you've been wanting to see bending.'

'Really? That would be amazing.' I looked at Zuko, and he nodded. 'As long as you don't throw things at me I don't care if you watch.'

Iroh smiled. 'Well, I will be off. I have a Pai Sho game planned with some of the generals.'

He left Zuko and I alone. He started walking, and I followed him in silence.

'Is something wrong?' he asked.

I shrugged. 'Not really. I guess.'

We continued along. I could tell he didn't believe me.

'Okay, fine,' I admitted. 'I was thinking about all the things I'll never be able to do.'

'What do you mean?'

'This world…it's so different from my own. There were so many things I wanted to someday get around to doing, and now I'll never have the chance.' I sighed. 'I wanted to see Nightwish in concert. I wanted to complete Bioshock. I wanted to write a book, go to university. I won't be able to do those things now.'

'What's Nightwish and Bioshock?' he asked.

That just depressed me more. 'Nightwish is a group of people who make music,' I explained. 'And Bioshock…' I paused, wondering how I was supposed to explain what a computer game was to someone who would just look at me blankly if I used the word _binary. _'It doesn't matter,' I finished. Now would probably be a bad time to mention Halo. The fact that I was never going to get to play the Halo: Reach beta version because I'd never got around to saving up for an Xbox 360 would be as clear as mud to him.

'There's a university here,' he said.

'What the hell do they teach there?' I asked, frustrated. 'Science in this world is probably still at the point where someone drops a lead ball and a wood ball from the same height and notices how amazing it is that they take the same time to fall.'

'I didn't know that,' he replied.

'Force is equal to mass times acceleration?' I pressed. 'Every action has an equal and opposite reaction? Hydrogen is explosive? Salt water conducts electricity? Any of those sound familiar?'

'All except the hydrogen one.'

No science. No computers, no computer games, no movies, no music, no Alison, none of the books I loved reading. There was nothing to tie me to this world, nothing to make me fall in love with it. I would never be able to examine an IR spectroscopy reading for a molecule, or use a mass spectrometer. I would never get my Shodan. I would never see my dojo or my foster mother again. She probably thought I'd run away.

To my shame, a tear trickled down my cheek. I brushed it away angrily, hoping Zuko hadn't seen.

We went outside into the courtyard, and Zuko pulled his shirt over his head. I sat down, thinking about how no one here would understand if I made a Chuck Norris joke.

When he began to firebend, the world I was stuck in didn't seem so bad. In fact, it seemed almost - I usually loathed using this word, but now it seemed like the only one that was appropriate - _magical. _

Arcs of fire swept through the air, burning brightly even after his hands and feet were no longer there. It was like watching Shihan train. I watched him swing kicks I would have found difficult if not impossible. I realised he was much, much better than I would ever be - _how did I ever manage to land anything on him? _ran through my mind - and felt very small.

Part of what fascinated me was the impossibility of it. Even as he drilled his basics and bright flame shot through the air, I wondered how it was happening. By all the conventional laws of conservation of matter and energy, it wasn't possible. He was producing a combustion reaction from nothing, with no fuel or energy driving it. Yet it was happening, right in front of me.

I stared like little kids stare when they see fireworks for the first time. When he finished he saw my wide-eyed face and gave a half-smile.

'Does that make up for it, even slightly?'

I stood up and walked over to him. Without asking, I picked up his arm, touching his hand. 'Your fingers aren't even warm.' I looked at him, wondering. 'How -'

'Because it is,' he said.

That simple statement made my mind whirr. I came from a place where it was never, ever acceptable to say _Because it is. _Everything had to be proven. I remembered maths tests where I'd spent three pages doing a proof.

I glared at him, accusing. 'You broke it.'

He frowned. 'What?'

'_Physics!' _I cried, letting go of his arm. 'You just completely - _raped _two laws of physics without which the universe doesn't work! You _broke _it!'

Zuko started doing something which made me want to slap him. He started laughing.

'It's not _funny!_' I yelled. 'You just destroyed the way I saw the world! What are you going to do next time we hang out, demonstrate that pi is exactly three? _Hey, I've already completely violated physics, why don't I traumatise mathematics as well?_' I said, imitating him.

'Maybe it's physics that doesn't work,' he laughed. 'Have you ever thought of that?'

I glared again, speechless. Then I found my voice. 'I can't _believe _I'm spending one of my days off with you,' I said, my voice acidic. 'I should kick you in the gnads right now.'

'You wouldn't survive the experience,' he said. I believed him. He pulled his shirt back on and we walked back inside.

I thought about telling him that his firebending won over Halo: Reach, then decided not to, for two reasons.

Firstly, it would give him far too much of an ego boost. And secondly, he wouldn't know what Halo was if the Master Chief walked up to him and hit him over the head with an assault rifle.


	23. What Would You Do For Money?

I don't know if anyone else feels this way, but I don't look at Azula and think "she's the villain of the series." I felt sorry for her when I saw the episode _The Beach _and realised she didn't really know how to interact with people normally - just like me. At that point I thought that maybe Azula being perceived as thoroughly evil wasn't entirely her fault, since she didn't know how to act any other way.

I wrote this chapter because Azula _is _a human being, even if she acts otherwise. Although if I said this to her face, I'd probably get either electrocuted or burnt to a crisp.

* * *

Vivisection

Chapter 23 - What Would You Do For Money?

* * *

Azula sighed, scrubbing her body vigorously. The brush scraped her skin, making it pink and sore. She hated the bath house in the brothel. It was dirty and sordid, and she came out of it feeling that way. At least in the asylum she had been physically cared for, even if her mind had been left to rot in its own madness. She thought almost with longing of the clean bed linen and bathroom. She could even tolerate the attentions of the female inmates for a time. It would be infinitely better than this.

The other whores had dressed her in white. It had seemed odd at the time, until Azula learnt that it signified virginity. Despite the symbolism of the colour, the outfit had still been revealing - it had been a short dress of creamy silk, mostly transparent. Azula hadn't seen the man who'd paid for her services until he had entered the room. She had just laid on the bed, waiting, wanting only to get it over and done.

He had been a young Fire Nation soldier, in his early twenties she had guessed. He had obviously only just started shaving - the soft stubble on his chin when he had pressed his mouth onto hers was evidence of that.

Azula supposed it could have been worse. He had at least tried to be gentle, tried not to hurt her. But he had, despite the effort.

She swung her legs over the side of the bath and winced. She could still feel him in the tenderness between her legs, sore and bruising. Was it possible to bruise down there? She didn't know.

Azula hadn't thought that sex for money would bother her. She had thought she could turn her mind off the way she had in the asylum. But her mind had remained at the front of her consciousness, wincing each time the young soldier had panted and thrust inside her.

She stood up, dried off, and began to dress. At least she was allowed to retire to her room for the rest of the evening. The room they had given her was small, with a narrow bed and paint peeling off the walls. But at least she could be alone there.

That was a luxury she had never been granted in the asylum. There was always a doctor or an orderly in her room, sometimes even medical students from the Fire Nation's university. The doctors tried to figure out what was wrong with her and failed. The orderlies were preferable to that. All they did was feed her and routinely give her medication. The students stared at her, the fallen Crown Princess of the Fire Nation who had been within an inch of becoming Fire Lord, and pointed and scribbled as if she was a preserved insect frozen in time on a glass slide.

Azula guessed, with some bitterness, that she had been their star attraction at the asylum. _Come look at the crazy princess, _she thought. _See how the mighty have fallen. _

Of course that was exactly what Zuko's soldiers - _her _soldiers - were doing. They were looking for the crazy princess.

There was no way he would have announced that she was missing to the public. Zuzu wouldn't want to lose face like that. Azula knew about the time the Avatar had escaped from him and he had tried to hide it from the then Commander Zhao. No, he would keep this all to himself and his people.

Eventually they would find her, Azula knew that. It would only be a matter of time before one of the officers he'd warned entered the brothel - looking for pleasurable company, no doubt - and recognised her.

Which was why she needed to make her move, and soon. She had wanted to avoid doing anything on the day of the summer solstice, because it would attract too much attention, and anyway Zuzu had put his soldiers on the lookout. As well as that ridiculous female bodyguard of his.

The entire Fire Nation capital city was talking about her, mainly because none of the other Fire Lords had ever entrusted the coveted position of personal guard to a woman. Countless rumours circulated about her. Apparently she had yellow hair, and some had used this as grounds to say that she was a demon in human form. Others made the sly suggestion that she was his concubine, that she spent her nights not in the bodyguard's room adjoining to the royal bedchamber, but instead in Zuko's bed.

Azula dismissed both theories as far-fetched. Obviously the girl wasn't a demon. And Zuko didn't have the nerve to bed a concubine night after night while pretending to the world that she was his hired blade. He was too honourable for that. It was probably just one of his half-thought-through harebrained schemes. Or one of his uncle's.

Azula had stopped thinking of Iroh as being related to her. For all his supposed compassion, he had never lifted a finger to help his niece, never even visited her in the asylum. Like Zuko, he had locked her up to rot and thrown away the key. Neither of them gave a shit about her. The only person who had ever cared was her father.

Azula thought of Ozai, thinking of the rescue plan she had already half-formulated. He wouldn't interfere with her plan. He would never get the throne for himself without his bending. And even if it was possible to do so, the Avatar would never return it to him.

_He didn't need to take away _my _bending, _she thought, bitter again. _I went conveniently insane and got quietly committed to a mental asylum. _

She was a princess. That fact, which had always protected her in the past, always elevated her in fact, had done nothing to protect her in the asylum, or in the brothel.

She had money now, which was a relief. She would only need to - _work_ - here another three nights or so, and then she would be able to begin.

Azula walked to her room, flinching a little with every step. Soon she would be out. Soon she would take down her brother, even if she herself had to go down too.

That didn't worry her. In fact, it would probably come as a release.


	24. What Once Was Mine

Feels so weird writing this on the uni computers. Usually I sit in bed with my laptop and a cup of tea, Iroh-style…mmm, tea.

As you can probably tell from this chapter, one of my classes at uni is environmental science and policy. This is me coming out and showing my hippie/greenie/tree-hugger side. Just because it would be kind of cool to avert global warming.

By the way, thank you to everyone who has either read this, reviewed it or added it to their story alerts. You guys are the ones who have kept me writing. I am especially grateful to Skizzorsaregangsta, without whose review this story would probably have stayed in the elephant graveyard of half-finished fanfics.

Lots of love (and another chapter) from the Muffin Man.

* * *

Vivisection

Chapter 24 – What Once Was Mine

* * *

I blinked. My eyes started closing again as if to say, _You don't want to wake up yet, it's far too early, _and I wholeheartedly agreed with them. Then they flew open again at a yell from next door.

'Gnng…' I mumbled. 'Zuko…shut up.'

Something hit the wall, resounding with a thud into my head. I thought of yanking the door open and telling him to STFU or GTFO. Then I realised what he was probably doing, and my face felt very hot.

I decided to close my eyes and try to ignore it. That didn't go well - he started using some very M-rated language which was very audible through the walls. Hadn't anyone thought of making the adjoining wall a little more soundproof? So that the Fire Lord's personal guard didn't have to listen to his sex noises?

Something else hit the wall, and I sat up in bed. That was it. Zuko having sex or not, I was going to tell him to keep it down, damn it.

I stood up, pushed the door open, and prepared myself for the sight of Zuko and some girl naked.

Oddly enough, he was sitting at the desk next to his bed with all his clothes on.

I glared at him. The effect of that was somewhat wasted, considering his back was turned to me. 'Bloody hell, Zuko,' I snapped. 'What justifies waking me up in the middle of the night?'

'Go away, Nemi.' He slumped down at his desk. 'Go back to sleep.'

'I can't with you throwing things around and getting pissed off in here!' I yelled. 'Keep it down, for God's sake! I need sleep, even if you don't!'

'My uncle was too busy drinking tea and playing games with lotus tiles to review this budget for me, so now _I _have to do it!' He turned around, shouting at me. 'Trust me, I would _love _to sleep right now!'

'Aww, baby has to do his Fire Lord paperwork himself,' I said, folding my arms across my chest. 'Suck it up, princess.'

He growled and the candle on the desk next to him flared up violently. I turned around and went to shut my door, then looked back at him.

'When do you have to have it done by?'

'Tomorrow, obviously,' he shot back, adding a poisonous look for good measure.

He turned back around and slumped in his seat.

I sighed, walking over to him. 'Let's have a look, then.'

'What are _you _going to be able to do?' I could hear scathing dripping from his tone. 'Closet professor of economics, are you?'

I ignored him and reached for the thin black book open in front of him. I flicked through the pages. It seemed to be mostly numbers, which was good. I wasn't good enough at the kanji script they used here to be able to correct grammatical errors in it.

'What is it you're having a problem with, exactly?' I asked.

'Page eight,' he said, sounding resigned now. 'The population growth model.'

I found page eight. Obviously no one had heard of graphs or the Cartesian plane here. There was a table of numerical values, population versus time in years. Some kanji had been scripted underneath it. It seemed to be asking for the Fire Lord's opinion on the proposed mathematical models for population growth in the Fire Nation over the next ten years.

'Oh, that's easy,' I said. 'It's just exponentials.'

Zuko looked like he'd just been hit by a Mack truck. '_Easy?'_

'They want to know which population model you think is best, right?' I asked. I pointed to one of the equations. 'I'd go with this one if I were you.'

'How is that one better than the others?'

There was a loose sheet of what looked like parchment on his desk. I pulled it towards me, along with the brush pen and ink he'd been using.

'Theoretically, the rate of growth of a population should be proportional to time,' I explained, scribbling. 'This model does that, but allows for variance. See the uncertainty here? That recognises that in real life you almost never get the theoretical growth rate. This model over here is trying to represent dieback, which is what you get when the population is too big, the system - in this case the Fire Nation - is running out of resources, and so some of the population does exactly that. But dieback is a long-term thing. It definitely wouldn't occur within ten years unless you had a massive population boom. And even then resource consumption wouldn't occur that fast. And these other models are just wrong. They use the wrong constant of proportionality, and this one is just random. It has other bases in it.' I stepped backwards. 'Does that make sense?'

'No.' He looked up at me.

'Just say you picked this one because in your opinion it's the most realistic model, based on past population growth,' I said, sighing.

'What about page twenty-one?' he asked. 'Proposed restrictions on coal burning in Fire Nation ships?'

'Go for it,' I said bluntly, not even bothering to turn to the page. 'Burning coal equals bad. Same for burning oil, or diesel fuel, or anything carbon-based, really.'

'Even I know that I'll end up breaking the Fire Nation economy that way,' he said.

I knelt down. 'Trust me on this one,' I said, keeping my voice firm. If it was at all possible I would prevent the Fire Nation from becoming this world's biggest major polluters. 'Keep burning coal and in a couple of hundred years you're going to have a little problem called global warming.'

He looked unconvinced. I told him about where I came from, about how sea levels were rising, the world was getting warmer, and there were too many humans for the earth to support.

'Listen carefully,' I said. 'Don't get into electricity. Burning torches in brackets is fine. Don't let anyone make plastic, or anything called a polymer. And coal eventually runs out.'

His eyes widened at that. It would have been almost comical if not for the fact that it seriously came as a surprise to him.

'Restrict coal burning,' I warned him. 'Otherwise your world will go the same way as mine. My world is dying, and there are still people who deny it. If you don't do the restrictions, someone will look back long after you're dead and gone and say, "This is the guy who didn't do anything to stop it."'

He put his head in his hands at that. 'I know there are people who still see me as coming from three generations of conquerors. They expect me to ruin the world somehow, just like they did.'

'I'll make allowances for that,' I replied. 'I get that you're scared of stuffing up. But there's people to help you, you know. And most of this stuff,' I held up the budget, 'is just common sense. You don't _need _to be a professor of economics.'

He straightened up. 'I know I should be able to work out things like this myself. But –'

'You don't want to get it wrong, and you trust your uncle to get it right,' I finished.

Zuko nodded. 'Yes.'

'With coal burning – why do you even need coal? You have a nation of people who can create fire from their hands and feet without any form of fuel. If that's not an alternative power source, I don't know what is.' I turned around. 'Phasing out coal burning will be difficult to do, yes. You'll need to do it gradually.'

'Impose bigger restrictions over time?'

'Not exactly,' I said. 'A more effective way would be to increase coal prices, or impose a coal tax.' I stretched and yawned. 'Now if you don't mind, I'm going to bed.'

'Wait.' He stood up. 'Will you…help me in the policy meeting tomorrow? If I need it?'

I snorted. 'Now look who's too stubborn to ask for help. I suppose I can do that. It's better than sitting there and being bored.'

I went to shut the door.

'Thank you, Nemi.'

I sighed. '_Goodnight, _Zuko,' I said, feeling like a big sister helping with homework, of all things.

In which case, I should probably be disapproving of him for leaving it until the night before, as well as getting his uncle to do it for him.

The internal monologue made me sad. I'd been a big sister, once before. Did you stop being a big sister if your sibling died?

I had no idea.


	25. Intuition

Screw you, Mr. Physics Prelab Problem. I have better things to do. Like write fan fiction! And watch the One Piece episode I downloaded today! And play BioShock and Unreal Tournament! And go to karate and prepare to kick me some ex-boyfriend arse when he finally returns!

I was listening to April Rain (the title track from Delain's new CD) while I was writing this. It's an awesome song, anyone who's into metal with female vocals (such as Evanescence or Nightwish) should listen to it. Charlotte (the lead singer) has an amazing voice - I sing in my spare time and wish I sounded like her. Thank you to Delain for making this a decent chapter and washing away my writer's block (a.k.a laziness).

I think this chapter goes a bit deeper in terms of the Zuko/Lisana dynamic. And Iroh sees what's coming, because Iroh has totally ninja powers of perception and he's totally awesome.

Does Lisana know Ursa? Don't ask me - I've got no idea. I make this stuff up as I go along. Review if you haven't already done so and think this is even halfway decent.

* * *

Vivisection

Chapter 25 – Intuition

* * *

Zuko knocked on her door.

After a few minutes, Lisana opened up. She had ridiculously messy hair, and was blinking sleepily.

'Yeah, yeah,' she mumbled. 'I know. It's sunrise.'

'The policy meeting's been cancelled,' he said.

It took a few moments for that to register. Then she looked up at him, dazed. 'Why?' she asked.

'No one else has their reports done,' he said. 'They need "more comprehensive analysis" or something.'

Lisana grinned. 'Sounds like economists to me. You must be pretty pissed off.'

'Tell me about it,' he muttered.

'So what are we doing today?' she asked.

'Get dressed. We're going to train.' He expected a protest from her at that - she was, after all, half-asleep - but instead she brightened and said, 'I'll be out in a minute.'

She shut the door behind her. Zuko waited - he was an early riser, he'd been up for about an hour already, and was ready. Eventually she opened the door. 'I'm ready,' she said.

Zuko made a conscious effort to keep his eyes away from her body. The outfit she was wearing emphasised her curves nicely, which was obviously unintentional. She was wearing a black sleeveless shirt, similar to the one he was wearing which he usually trained in, and a pair of black shorts that were cut to mid-thigh. Both were close-fitting.

They walked out of his room and down the hall, out to the courtyard where they'd done their very first sparring session, the day after they'd met.

'Sparring again?' she asked.

He shrugged. 'If you want.'

'I thought we did whatever _you_ wanted, because _you're_ the Fire Lord,' she said, raising an eyebrow.

Zuko ignored that and moved into a fighting stance. 'Two minute rounds, then,' he said.

Lisana shifted into a matching stance. 'Let's go,' she replied, with a grin.

When he moved forward to attack she hammered a series of punches into his lower body. Lisana had him today, even though he had a size advantage and had been training in combat for longer. Part of it was her fighting style - this Kyokushin, whatever it was, had taught her well. She had good form, good stance work.

The other reason she scored hits on him was the source of distraction her body provided. Whenever she swung a kick Zuko was momentarily distracted by her raised thigh, the shirt tight around her chest.

The two minutes passed, and they began again. 'You're off today,' Lisana commented. 'Something wrong?'

'I guess I didn't sleep enough last night,' he lied. 'It's nothing. I'm fine.'

She raised her eyebrows. Zuko didn't see her leg lift, in fact didn't see the kick coming at all, not until her foot was sitting right next to his face.

His glance flickered - entirely involuntarily - to her chest as she held the kick motionless in the air. She saw, and narrowed her eyes.

'Block the next one,' she warned, 'or it takes your teeth with it. _Focus._'

Zuko tried to do just that. Lisana was going harder now. He actually winced when she caught him in the collarbone with an open-handed attack. Hopefully no one would challenge him to an Agni Kai any time soon. He was going to be covered in bruises at this rate.

'Hit me!' she shouted, drilling a combination of thigh kicks and punches.

Zuko blocked the last of the punches, performed a head kick of his own, which she blocked, and did a strike to her midsection, which she didn't. The breath went out of her in a gasp, and she staggered forward.

'Are you all right?' he asked.

'Yes,' she growled. 'I'm fine. I've been hit a lot harder.' She straightened up. 'If you can't concentrate, maybe we should do something else.'

Zuko saw her eyes harden when she looked at him, and the guilty feeling returned. 'I'm sorry,' he said. 'I didn't mean to -'

Her face softened. 'It's okay.'

Zuko was surprised at her easy acceptance. 'You haven't gotten laid in two years,' she explained. 'It's understandable, I suppose. Just don't do it again.'

He nodded, a little startled.

Lisana shrugged. 'I forgot that sex is a conversational taboo here.'

'Not…really. It's just - you're a -'

'Woman?' Lisana looked amused. 'Where I come from, that was a lot of what women talked about. Deep down, women are just as sex-obsessed as men.'

'I'm not sex-obsessed,' Zuko protested.

'I suppose. You've had to do without for two years, haven't you?' she pointed out.

Zuko flushed, and changed the topic. 'I could show you my family's portrait gallery, if you want,' he suggested.

'Done,' she said. 'I want to see what the infamous Ozai looks like.'

* * *

They stood in front of the painting, candles burning either side of it despite the heat of the day outside.

'That's me,' Zuko said, feeling a little bitter. 'Before I got this.' He gestured towards his scar.

Lisana looked at the younger version of Zuko, unsmiling in the portrait, and frowned. 'Your face doesn't look right,' she said.

'Apparently the man who painted it was one of the most gifted artists in the Fire Nation,' Zuko replied.

'No, I didn't mean that. I meant you don't look like you.' She pointed at his scar. 'Your face looks wrong without it.'

Zuko was unsure how to respond. No one had ever said that about the mark his father had given him. Even Mai, who had told him she loved him as he was, had never said that he would be incomplete without the scar.

'This lady…' Lisana pointed at the then Princess Ursa, standing behind her son. 'Was she your mother?'

Zuko nodded stiffly. 'She disappeared, a long time ago.'

'She looks familiar,' Lisana mused.

'She can't. You've never seen her before.'

'She does. Like _really _familiar. Like I've seen her recently. But I can't remember where.' Lisana frowned. 'What was she like?'

'She saw that there was something wrong with my sister,' Zuko replied, lost in thought. 'Long before anyone else did. Long before me. I just thought she despised me because I couldn't firebend as well as her.'

'This is her, then. Your sister.' Lisana paused in front of the young Azula, who could only have been about eight years old in the painting. 'She looks so innocent.'

'Everyone looks innocent as a kid,' Zuko muttered. 'And Azula was good at it. She always managed to make it look like I was the troublemaker.'

Lisana was quiet for a while, looking up at the painted face of the Fire Lord, unsmiling just like his son. 'He looks a lot like you.'

Zuko was surprised at that too. Whenever people commented on his strong physical resemblance to Ozai, they said that Zuko looked like his father, not the other way around.

'I guess so,' he murmured.

Lisana turned around to look at him. 'Zuko, do you mind if I ask you a question? You don't have to answer it.'

Zuko shrugged.

'How did you get your scar?' she asked.

Zuko told her the story. He was surprised at how easy it was. He had always feared and hated the scar, thought that no one would ever look at him without remembering dishonour, thought that no woman would ever love him. But he had regained his honour, and Mai had loved him, for a time at least. It was like the pain of the memory, which had once been fresh and agonising, had all but disappeared with the much greater pain of Mai's suicide.

Lisana looked at him thoughtfully. 'Yet you couldn't fight him.'

'He was my father. I'd wanted to be like him my entire life.' Zuko said it with more than a little shame. Because he _had _wanted to gain Ozai's love and acceptance, wanted to be like his father. What son didn't?

'You were right to do it,' she said. 'Even if you did fight against him, you would have lost, from the sounds of it. The outcome would have been the same. Even if you had won, I just can't see how Ozai would have taken you back with open arms. He sounds like a sore loser.'

'He really is,' Zuko said, half-smiling.

'Any setup where you're punished for speaking your mind sounds plain wrong to me,' Lisana said. 'For one thing, if I'd been around then, Ozai would probably have had me beheaded or something.'

'That's because you can't keep your mouth shut,' he replied.

Lisana rounded on him. 'Look who's talking.'

They continued on in the same vein as they left the portrait gallery, and Zuko wondered if she really could have seen his mother somewhere. It hurt him to realise that the answer was _probably not. _

* * *

Later, sitting in his room alone - even Lisana was out, going down to the palace baths again - Zuko felt unusually morose.

There was a knock at the outer door, and Zuko assumed it was Lisana. He went to open it and saw Iroh.

'Uncle!'

'I hope I haven't disturbed you, nephew,' his uncle said, smiling.

'No, of course not.' Zuko opened the door further to let his uncle in.

'I must be honest with you, Zuko. I have something which I would like to discuss with you.' Iroh sat down on the chair at his desk.

'What is it, Uncle?' Zuko asked, curious.

'I want to talk to you about Lisana,' he said. 'There are rumours that the two of you are -'

'Let me assure you, Uncle, nothing like that is happening between us,' Zuko interrupted. 'She is _not _my concubine.' _Unfortunately, _part of his mind thought.

'I didn't think so,' Iroh said. 'I just thought I would confirm it with you. But I suspect - you might have feelings of a sort for her.'

'Certainly not, Uncle,' Zuko replied. 'She is a friend and advisor. You know that -'

'That you have chosen not to remarry,' Iroh finished, heavily. 'I will say no more on the subject. What of her future?'

'I…don't know.' As soon as he had said it Zuko realised it was true. He had given no thought to the future. 'I suppose she'll stay here until she decides to move on.'

'I suppose so,' Iroh said, standing. 'Well, I must be leaving now. Goodnight, my nephew.'

'Goodnight, Uncle.' Zuko watched Iroh leave. He had the odd but distinct feeling that in Iroh's eyes, he was doing something wrong. That worried him, mostly because he had no idea what it was.


	26. Ruminations

Oh, how I hate MS Word 2007. And thanks to karate and my crappy kick-checking skills, I have bruised arms and knees. I wish I was even halfway as good at karate as my OC was...which is kind of sad.

Hope you enjoy the new chapter. As usual, I won't be updating until after the weekend (Australian Eastern Standard Time, that is...)

* * *

Vivisection

Chapter 26 - Ruminations

* * *

I woke up, stretching in my bed. I didn't have to get up at sunrise – today was my day off. I had a whole day, all to myself.

Strangely, the prospect wasn't as exciting as I thought it would be. Strangely, I had gotten used to being with Zuko. He didn't irritate me – at least, not as much as he used to - any more. Maybe it was because I understood more about him, about who he was and how he'd come to be that way.

Yesterday, when his sparring had been off, I had been startled – and slightly annoyed – to discover that I'd been the reason for it. _I thought he was better than that, _the annoyed part of me said in disappointment. I had gotten to the point where I couldn't feel comfortable, safe or even friendly with anyone who expressed that kind of interest in me, especially since Jimi. In fact, Jimi was probably the reason for it.

On the other hand, Zuko had made it quite clear he didn't feel that way about me. I had to admit that being considered physically desirable again after so long was slightly flattering, especially since by all accounts the ruler of the Fire Nation hadn't so much as looked at another woman after the death of his wife.

I got out of bed and got dressed, more out of restlessness than anything else. I wondered how Zuko could bear it. There had been a lot of formal functions that I'd been required to attend him at, though none as important as the evening of the solstice. At every one I watched girls as young as fourteen and women as much as twenty years older than Zuko flirt with him, try to entice him into conversation. I wondered how he put up with them, day after day, when each time it happened must have invoked memories of Mai.

Maybe I would visit the portrait gallery today. The face of Zuko's mother stuck in my mind. I was positive I'd seen her before, although Zuko had been adamant that that wasn't possible. I thought of all the people I knew back home – maybe she was similar to one of them? No. My mother hadn't looked anything like Ursa. She had had blue eyes, like me. The other mother figure in my life – Alison – had been a short redhead with freckles.

I went out of my room through Zuko's and walked down the hall. Eventually I came to the portrait gallery, and pushed the heavy door open with my shoulder. Even though the room was empty, someone had still gone through and lit all the candles.

I walked slowly, looking at all the paintings. Some were of past Fire Lords and their families. All had kanji inscriptions, which I could sort of read. I ran my eyes over one of the older ones. The man was tall and muscular, with pale skin and gold eyes like Zuko. His wife had dark hair and a small, slender frame. The three children – a boy and two girls - were the same, slender with the same strange gold eyes. The picture reminded me very strongly that I was an alien here. A foreigner, _gaijin_ they would have called me in Japan if I had ever been able to go there to train.

Qing had told me that people were saying I was a demon, summoned by the Fire Lord into human form. I curled a strand of blonde hair around my finger. I wished I'd dyed it black, or dark brown. But that wouldn't really disguise me. No amount of hair dye or artfully deceptive clothing could hide the fact that I was a lot bigger than the other Fire Nation women. I had never been fat, never had issues about my body image. But here I was tall and physically strong, whereas Fire Nation women were small and slight.

I kept walking. I had almost reached the end of the gallery. This end wasn't as well-lit – the candles were spaced further apart. I stopped in front of the portrait of Ozai and his family.

Princess Ursa's face was maddeningly familiar, and the more I stared at it in frustration the more sure I was that I'd seen her somewhere before, and recently at that. But where? I hated not being able to remember things. It pissed me off.

I knew that her disappearance had something to do with Ozai, and I knew that the former Fire Lord was currently locked up in a high-security prison in close proximity to the Fire Nation palace. Doubtless Zuko would have got it out of him if he knew anything about where Ursa was. Maybe I should just ask Zuko, or General Iroh. Or even ask if I could question Ozai myself. It would probably seem odd to Zuko and his uncle, but I was determined to get to the bottom of this if I could.

I moved on. There was a portrait at the end of the room, but it was covered by a cloth. At first I thought it was a work in progress and that was the reason for the covering, but as I got closer I saw that the cloth was shrouded in dust. It obviously hadn't been moved in years.

I pulled it off. Dust swirled into my mouth and nose, and I coughed. I dumped the cloth on the ground and looked at the picture.

I'd been expecting a past Fire Lord, one who was long since dead and gone, with a name I didn't recognise and a family of dark-haired, gold-eyed children. What I saw was a young man about my age with a scar, and his arm around a woman.

Zuko was smiling in the picture. The woman – who I assumed was Mai – was looking out of the picture with a half-smile on her face. She had grey eyes, not a dull grey but light, almost silver. She was tall for a Fire Nation woman, and had long hair, sleek shiny black.

She was pretty, unlike me. I had a big nose – I knew that. And I looked bizarre compared to everyone else in the Fire Nation. Even my blue eyes were an oddity. The only people I'd seen with blue eyes since I'd come here had been that Katara girl and her brother Sokka. But they had been from the Water Tribe, and they had stood out too.

It was no wonder people were saying I was a demon.

I looked at the Zuko of two years ago. _Mai meant everything to him, _I thought, and that made me oddly sad.

I wasn't sure if I was sad for him, because he would be forever living in the past with the woman he loved, or sad for me for some unknown reason. I tried not to think about it too much.

* * *

I spent the rest of the day in my room practicing the kanji writing Iroh had taught me. I ate dinner listlessly, going up to bed.

I opened the door of Zuko's room, intending to go to mine. Just before I did I heard footsteps behind me, and turned around.

'Is something wrong?' Zuko asked. He looked concerned.

I shook my head. 'No. I'm just tired.'

I went to bed, hearing him behind me. It was better to keep it quiet. He'd covered that picture up for a reason. Probably to avoid the reminder that Mai was dead and gone.

If only I could do the same thing.


	27. Going In The Deep End

Hope everyone had a good weekend :)

REALLY sorry for being such a slack bugger and not posting – and forgetting to bring my USB on Monday…which had my awesome fanfiction on it.

I have THREE chapters to make up for it…three chapters in which awesome stuff happens.

Story's moving a bit faster now, hope you like it. Still have no idea how it's going to end.

* * *

Vivisection

Chapter 27 - Going In The Deep End

* * *

Zuko sat in the throne at the head of the war room that had once belonged to his father's council and was now used for more peaceful purposes. Lisana sat at his right hand side, where he himself had sat at Ozai's side. Her face was carefully expressionless. That was unlike her. Usually she made faces at him when none of his policy advisors was looking.

Zuko knew something had upset her, and he had a reasonably good idea what it was. He had asked Lisana's maid, and she had told him that Lisana had gone to the portrait gallery on her rest day. The painting of him and Mai was exposed, the cloth covering it on the floor. None of the servants would have dared go near it, let alone touch it. Of course Lisana wouldn't have known to leave it alone.

He wasn't sure what to say to her about the matter, or even why it had made her - sad? Angry? - at him.

It couldn't be that she had feelings for him or anything like that. How many times had she seen other women flirt with him, right in front of her as if she was nonexistent? Zuko knew that the women at court didn't consider Lisana one of them, didn't even really think of her as female. To them, she had the same social status as the generals, the war ministers, the politicians. The Fire Nation noble ladies saw Lisana as one of the men, not a young woman.

It was a pity that Zuko himself didn't see her that way. In his eyes, she was very much female.

His eyes traced the shape of her waist and hips underneath her clothes. She was wearing the same navel-bearing outfit she'd had on the day they'd first met, and it was having an adverse effect on his concentration. Not for the first time, he wondered what she'd look like naked.

He guessed that if she'd been charged with guarding any of the noblemen at court, they would have already made a move on her. It was bizarre, because he could tell that even Lisana thought of herself as one of the men. It was understandable for her to feel that way, he supposed. She trained with his soldiers on occasion. She ate with him and his uncle, and certainly none of the other women at court were making any efforts at friendship.

Part of him wished Lisana was a man. It would be so much easier to be around her. And Zuko liked being around her. It was hard to admit that, with Mai lingering in the back of his mind, but it was the truth. She made him laugh, which was more than even his uncle had been able to do since Mai had died. Taboos didn't matter to her, social or otherwise. He was able to speak openly with her, as he hadn't been able to do with anyone besides his uncle for a long time.

The trouble was that he knew very little about her. Oh, he knew the small things, things which made up who she was, likes and dislikes. She liked sushi and ginseng tea. She liked a lot of things which weren't familiar to him at all, with names like Bleach and Death Note (which were, by her account, made of moving pictures), or Evanescence and Within Temptation (more groups which made music). She was much better with economics and budgeting reports than he was. She liked to read. Often, after sunset when he was no longer her responsibility, she would go out - presumably to the royal library - and come back with an armful of scrolls. She hated prawns, and getting up early, and being laughed at.

He knew she came from somewhere else, even if he found it a little hard to swallow that the somewhere else was another world. But he didn't know about her past, about her family.

Things she had said to him came back.

_I've only ever been in one relationship in my life, and that relationship convinced me that relationships are something I'm better off without. _

_Hey, you know how I don__'__t talk about who the heir is to your throne when you__'__re gone? Can you do the same thing when the topic gets on to my family?_

…_something really bad that happened, not too long ago. I__'__d appreciate it if you didn't ask me what it was._

_I was sixteen when it happened…ever since then I've had these nightmares. _

_That's me, one hundred per cent crazy, fo realz. _

_I was just trying to wake up. _

Zuko knew enough to guess that something had gone badly wrong in her past. He couldn't for the life of him figure out what. It must have had something to do with her family. But what about the relationship - where did that fit in? An abusive boyfriend, maybe?

Although he doubted very much that Lisana would put up with regular beatings from anyone for an extended period of time, let alone a man. From what he had seen she showed no physical signs of abuse.

Was she really crazy? If she was it wasn't Azula's brand of insanity. Azula's mind had slowly unravelled, leaving her a mess. Lisana definitely had some inner demons, but she didn't look like unravelling any time soon.

The meeting finished up. Zuko had barely heard a word. He stood and Lisana stood with him, face still expressionless. When all the politicians and advisors had left the room, he turned to her.

'Something's wrong,' he said, flatly. 'I know there is. Don't bother trying to hide it.'

Lisana shrugged. 'Don't be so dramatic. Nothing's wrong.'

Zuko stared her down.

She was the first to look away.

'I know you saw the picture of me and Mai,' he said.

'Okay, I give in,' she said, looking up again. 'I just…It's weird looking at you and knowing that part of you is with her in your head.'

Zuko bit his lip. 'I wish I was.' He stepped closer to her, and admitted something he hadn't been brave enough to tell his uncle. 'There are days when I can't remember what she looks like.'

'And you wait, and her face pops up in your head after a couple of seconds, like you're just tired or sleepy or whatever. But you still feel horrible, because she didn't die that long ago,' she finished flatly.

'That's…exactly it.' Zuko stared at her, wondering if he should say what was in his head. Recklessly he decided to. 'Someone you loved died, didn't they?'

Lisana paused, and for a second Zuko thought she would refuse to answer the question. Eventually she nodded.

'I'm sorry if you felt weird,' he said.

Lisana looked surprised that he'd apologised. 'Don't be sorry. It was my own dumb fault for poking my nose into someone else's business.'

'I should probably have that picture burned,' he muttered.

Lisana surprised him by reaching out to touch his arm. 'Don't,' she said. 'You'll regret it if you do. Have someone touch it up, make it look nice. Hang it up with the other portraits.'

He held very still, not wanting to break the contact with her. She pulled her hand away. 'She was really pretty,' she said.

'You would have liked her,' Zuko said, remembering. 'She wasn't a bender either. She trained with knives. She wasn't afraid to tell me when I was being a selfish dick either.'

Lisana laughed. They walked back to his room, Zuko feeling relieved that he hadn't made her angry at him. They talked on the way, Zuko telling Lisana about Mai and Lisana telling Zuko about her homeworld. Zuko was surprised at how easy it was to talk about Mai with Lisana. Lisana didn't lapse into melancholy at not being able to return home once. She told him about more moving pictures, the university she'd been going to go to, the food she'd eaten there, and someone called the Master Chief.

When they reached his room he looked down at her, and she looked up at him. 'I'm probably going to go and take a bath now,' she said.

'Um…okay.' Zuko didn't really think the next sentence through. 'Would you like to do something fun tomorrow night?'

Lisana looked at him, eyebrows doing a quizzical formation. 'If you were anyone else I'd punch you for asking me out.'

'Is that a yes? Or a "No, I'm going to kick you instead"?' Zuko replied, feeling weirdly reckless for not denying her implication.

'It depends on what we're doing. If it's a strip club I'm going to have to say no,' Lisana said, half-smiling.

'You said you liked fireworks. There's going to be a Fire Festival outside the palace tomorrow night. We can dress as commoners.' Zuko looked at her, waiting to see how she would respond.

She frowned, and pointed to her hair. 'This might be a bit of a problem. You might have to take out some pretty Fire Nation girl instead.'

Zuko shook his head. 'I can just go as me, and you can be you.'

'I guess it would piss off the social hierarchy,' Lisana mused, and then brightened. 'Okay. Let's chill with the commoners.'

'This is the Fire Nation,' Zuko pointed out. 'We don't _chill._'

She laughed at that. 'After sunset?'

Zuko nodded.

'Okay,' she said, darting into her room. She was in there for a few minutes, and then came out with a towel wrapped around her body and a folded red robe under one arm. 'We will go and see some sparky-sparky-boom tomorrow. In the meantime, I'll go wash.'

Zuko watched her go, suppressing the internal desire to pull the towel off her and lay her on his bed with her legs open.

He tried to figure out if he had been asking her out on a date. Did it have that undercurrent?

He was surprised to find it did. Zuko knew he was physically attracted to her, but hadn't thought it was anything more than that. Thinking about it, he realised that it _had _insidiously become more than that. She was a friend, yes, but he had talked to her about things that even his uncle shied away from mentioning - namely Mai. Lisana understood about Mai in a way none of the nobility, with their polite sympathy after the funeral, ever had.

Zuko knew how his uncle had lost Lu Ten - in the siege at Ba Sing Se. But that had been a senseless accident, a tragedy of war. It had devastated Iroh, but Iroh had at least had some form of closure.

Zuko sensed that whoever had died in Lisana's life hadn't been an open-and-shut case. She seemed to know about how it felt. And those nightmares…_Something _was lurking in her subconscious, something that definitely wasn't sorrow at a loved one's accidental death. It was something which, for whatever reason, she couldn't deal with.

Somewhere along the line annoyance at her had turned into pity and sympathy, and pity and sympathy had turned into affection. Zuko wasn't sure if Lisana thought the same way, though. Had the one bad relationship happened long enough ago for her to be able to open up to him?

He wasn't sure.

He supposed he would have to wait until the next night to find out.


	28. Sparky Sparky Boom

Zuko and Lisana are going on a date! *wolf-whistles* I'm so excited, particularly as I myself haven't been on a date since my ex dumped me about seven months ago.

Speaking of the dreaded ex-boyfriend - yes, he actually did all the stuff on Lisana's Douchebag scale, although not on EVERY date he ever took me on, and not all at once.

Don't worry, it'll make sense when you read the chapter.

Huzzah for not doing essays and writing fan fiction instead.

* * *

Vivisection

Chapter 28 - Sparky Sparky Boom

* * *

Strangely enough, I was even more nervous about my date with Zuko than I had been about the solstice evening. Because it _was _a date. I couldn't convince myself otherwise, couldn't kid myself that this was entirely a _Just as friends _thing. I didn't know what had possessed me to say yes. Even if this place was different from my world, it had to be considered bad form to date your boss here.

I told myself to relax. It wasn't like I was his girlfriend or anything. We were just going out on one date. Despite that I knew that this had to be as big a thing for him as it was for me. He hadn't so much as looked in the direction of a woman since his wife had died, and I hadn't so much as looked in the direction of a man since Jimi.

I tried to figure out if I liked him that way or not. Zuko had never, ever pushed me about anything, and God knew I wasn't used to that. Everything in my life was variable, pushing me one way or another or just ignoring me completely, like Jimi had near the end of it. Zuko was a constant, not irrational like pi or e if we were talking in mathematical terms, but just a simple straight number. I liked being with him. He felt comfortable to be with. I didn't have to force myself to talk, or feel awkward if there was a silence lasting more than a minute between us. Zuko was quiet like me, and didn't feel the urge to tell me what he was thinking every minute of every day and then expect to converse with me about it. To be honest, sometimes being with him was like looking into a mirror. He was very similar to me, on the inside past all my crap. I couldn't pretend that he wasn't physically attractive either - _pretty eyes, _my brain drooled, and I mentally slapped it.

On the other hand, I'd sworn never to get into another relationship because there was no way I wanted to get hurt again.

I prayed I wasn't repeating my first mistake, and then mentally slapped myself. I was being silly. There was no way I could get in too deep. It was one little date, for God's sake.

I was dressing by myself tonight. I'd washed obsessively, washed my hair three hours before so it would have time to try. I still found it weird washing in front of other women, all of us naked, especially since I was built so differently to all of them, but I'd tried to get over it with a swift mental _Suck it up, princess. _

I tossed through the outfits I'd bought, and found a black skirt that finished just above the knees. Just beneath it was a red silk top, navel-baring with flowing sleeves. I tugged the clothes on. The skirt was loose and flowing, but the top was tighter and sexier than the stuff I usually wore, and a little lower-cut too. I shrugged. I could trust Zuko not to try and cop a feel. And if he did I could just kick him in the crotch so hard it would permanently neuter him. I smiled at the thought.

Dressed, I brushed my hair out, leaving it long and loose. I decided against makeup. II hated makeup, and we were just going to see fireworks, not attending a state function.

I could hear the splashing of a bath next door. Of course - Zuko had his own bathroom. He had the Fire Lord's suite, whereas I had the crappy little bodyguard's bedroom. I tried not to think about the fact that Zuko was naked about five metres away from me, and brushed my hair some more instead.

A few minutes later there was a knock at my door. I opened it. Zuko was standing there, wearing a pair of black pants. He was pulling on a shirt. It was red and black, hanging open at the chest.

'You look pretty,' he said, looking down at his feet as he said it, which was kind of cute.

'Aww, that's so sweet. You do too,' I said, sort of meaning it. His eyes looked very gold in the candlelight. My eyes peered of their own accord at the exposed hint of bare chest. Despite my scathing comment weeks ago about pretty boys who took their shirts off to fight, I liked what I saw. Zuko actually had muscle mass on him, which was more than I could say for Jimi.

He leant down and did something totally unexpected. He kissed me on the cheek, just lightly, and pulled away quickly. The spot on my cheek where his lips had touched tingled, which surprised me. Even in the early days of the two of us, when we'd been a kissing-and-holding-hands couple, Jimi had never made me tingle.

'Will you beat me up for that?' he asked.

'Depends,' I said. 'So far you haven't scored any points on the Douchebag Date scale. If you do I might have to change my mind.'

We walked out of his room. Neither of us were doing the holding-hands thing. It would have been a bit awkward.

'What's the Douchebag Date scale?' he asked.

'Basically if you do anything that my ex-boyfriend the douchebag did on dates, you score a point,' I replied.

'Such as?' he replied, as we moved into the palace gardens.

I lifted a hand, counting off points on my fingers. 'Ignoring me and talking to your guy friends instead. Sticking things down your pants. Doing air guitar when there's no music playing. Running into an ex-girlfriend and giving her a big cuddly hug, right in front of me. Trying to get me to answer awkward truth-or-dare questions. Wearing lycra and/or tight pants. Trying to get me to drink alcohol, which I don't like. And just generally being a douchebag.'

'How old was he? Six?' Zuko snorted.

'Mentally, pretty much,' I agreed, as we left the palace gates. 'So what do people do at a Fire Festival?'

'There's Fire Nation food, and plays, and magicians, and fireworks,' Zuko explained. 'And Fire Nation rice wine.' He rolled his eyes.

'Oh. Booze. Well, remember the Douchebag scale,' I said.

'If I tried to make you do anything you didn't want to do, you'd probably punch me out,' he replied, smiling. The smile looked odd on his face - Zuko wasn't really a very smiley person - but kind of sweet.

'Too right.' It didn't take us long to get to the Fire Festival. It pretty much hit us ten metres from the palace gates.

It was similar to a carnival - there was a man juggling flaming torches, and lots of small stalls selling things. A woman at one of them pointed at me and whispered to her friend.

'I guess that demon rumour's still going around, then,' I muttered.

Zuko looked down at me. 'If it's any consolation, I don't think you look anything like a demon.' He leant down and kissed me again, this time on the lips.

I'd heard of the electrical spark you were supposed to get when a man you were in love with kissed you. The first time Jimi and I had kissed, I hadn't felt anything and had assumed it was a myth. He wasn't hideous or anything, and as time went on and we both got better at kissing the kisses felt…nice, but there was no tingly feeling.

When Zuko's mouth touched mine it was like the forty-Coulomb electrical charge of a thundercloud had passed directly into my lips. It was only a very light kiss, soft and questioning as if he was asking permission, but the electrical feeling seared inside me, tracing a line of least resistance through my body.

He pulled away and my cheeks went very hot. I think he saw the expression on my face, because he looked alarmed. 'I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.'

'What was that?' I asked, stunned.

'Shit!' He put his hand to his face. 'I'm so bad at this! I'm sorry!'

I leant over and hugged him, and then stepped back. Now Zuko was the one who looked stunned.

'Wait,' he said. 'Aren't you mad? I thought you were mad.'

I shook my head. 'I'm not mad. Surprised, but not mad.'

He looked confused. 'Surprised in a good way?'

I put my arms around his waist again and kissed him gently on the lips. 'Huh,' I said as I pulled away. 'It's still there.'

'What are you talking about?'

'Are you hooked up to a generator or something?' I asked.

He shook his head, smiling, and I knew it had felt the same to him. 'How would I carry a generator around? I'm not allowed to stick anything in my pants.'

A man at a nearby stall called out to us. 'Young man!' He obviously hadn't recognised Zuko. 'Fresh fire flakes for you and your girlfriend?'

Was I Zuko's girlfriend now? I jerked myself away from that train of thought. I'd cross that bridge when I came to it. _Just one little date, remember? _I told myself.

'What are fire flakes?' I asked Zuko.

He laughed, and walked over to the man and paid for some. He passed me the packet, and I took some of the red flakes, which looked like dried meat of some sort. As I put them in my mouth Zuko watched, as if waiting for a reaction.

I chewed and swallowed. 'Mmm. Spicy.'

Zuko looked disappointed. 'You didn't scream for water.'

'I told you, nothing wussy comes out of Finland.' We kept walking. We were a bit more relaxed now. I'd let Zuko put his arm around my waist. His hand felt warm, resting just above my hip. His palm was a little rough - callused maybe? I wondered what from, then remembered the two swords he'd brought with him to Ember Island. Years of weapons training would probably leave calluses.

We had stopped to listen to a woman giving a street performance. She was singing, while men in the background were playing string and woodwind instruments. She had a strong voice, a rich contralto.

Zuko kissed me lightly again. It was like I was being embraced by lightning instead of a person. I kissed him back, trying to keep control of myself, and pulled away before my mind completely fell to its knees.

He smiled down at me. 'Let's go and see the fireworks.' His arm went around my waist again and we walked off.

Eventually we came to the place where they were setting the fireworks off. Zuko and I sat on a bench. In my head, I thanked Kyokushin for ensuring I had no stomach fat. Zuko's fingers were sliding up and down my bare belly, producing tingles under my skin. He slipped a finger into my navel and tickled me. I giggled, which was a surprisingly girly thing for me to do.

'Don't do that,' I said, making as if to slap him. 'Or I'll tell jokes at you and you won't be able to understand them.'

'Ooh, I'm scared.'

'You should be,' I replied. 'If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, smells like chicken and feels like chicken, but Chuck Norris says it's beef, then it's fucking beef.'

Zuko rolled his eyes. A man in a red and gold robe strode out in front of us - it really was a stride, exactly what the kids in drama class used to do, big and arrogant and annoying - and waved his arms in the air. 'It's time for the fireworks!' he bellowed to the ring of people sitting around him.

'Maybe we should have sat near the back,' I whispered to Zuko.

A boy of about ten wheeled out a red wooden wagon with the Fire Nation flame insignia on it. The man opened the back of the wagon and pulled out something red and rocket-shaped. He snapped his fingers, and a flame appeared between finger and thumb. Despite myself, I watched, mesmerised.

The flame touched the wick at the end of the rocket. The man released it. The wick burned as the rocket fell towards the ground. Just before it hit, the wick burned up and the rocket shot into the air with a high-pitched _whee. _There was a bang, and green stars exploded in the sky.

'As pretty as that was,' I said to Zuko, 'it didn't look very safe when he lit it. Maybe we _should _move to the back.'

Zuko nodded, and we stood up and began to move to the back. Unfortunately, we didn't move soon enough.

The man went to light another rocket and set the wick of this one alight. Looking back, I think he dropped it at the wrong angle or something. The exploding rocket shot into the wagon full of fireworks.


	29. And Iroh Was Right

This was originally all one chapter, Chapter 28, but it got waaaaay too long. So I split it into two instead…I think I left it at a nice cliffhanger too.

I think I did a pretty good job here. I haven't done any of the stereotypical no-no's associated with romance in fan fiction, but tell me if you think otherwise. Again, I apologise for not updating over the weekend. I am trying to buy a wireless router so I can get at ze Internet when I'm not at uni, but that might take a while since I am a pov uni student.

I bet there are people who are annoyed with my Aussie talking, since I know the majority of you aren't Australian (thanks to stats). Oh well. Just Google any weird words I use.

Did this instead of my essay last night. Oh yeah.

* * *

Vivisection

Chapter 29 - And Iroh Was Right

* * *

'Get do-' I started to say, going to leap on top of Zuko and shield his body with mine, but I stumbled and my foot skidded on the ground. Zuko pinned my body to the ground, covering me.

The combined explosion of all the fireworks was deafening. Zuko's torso shielded mine, his left arm protecting my head. My ears rang, and I tried to look up, see what was going on.

'_Fuck,__'_ I said, seeing blackened shirt peeling away from Zuko's left shoulder. 'Your uncle's going to _kill _me.' His hair had come loose, and I brushed the strands out of his face. 'Are you all right?'

'I'm fine,' he said tersely. We stood up, and I could tell he wasn't fine by the twist of pain on his face.

'Let me look,' I ordered, holding his arm. His shoulder was black and red, peeling blistered skin. I felt myself blanch. 'Zuko -'

'I'm all right,' he insisted, taking a step forward. 'It's fine if I don't move my arm.'

I took his right arm and put it around my shoulders. 'You're not all right and you know it. Don't be so stubborn.' He went to argue, but sighed and gave in. We walked back to the palace. It was hard work supporting him - he was heavier than me.

'I don't suppose that Katara girl is still around?' I asked, getting him inside the palace gates.

'No, she went home after the solstice.' Zuko breathed in sharply. 'I'm sorry.'

I nearly dropped him at that. 'What for?'

'For the crappy date. For - this.' He gestured at me, holding him up.

'The fact that you think you need to say sorry makes it all better,' I said, looking at him as we navigated up the stairs. 'That's very sweet. And it shows that you're not a douchebag.'

Zuko stopped, leaning against the wall to rest. His good arm pulled me towards him, and he kissed my forehead, then my lips. Once I was past the initial electric shock, I was surprised by how soft his lips were. His right hand rested on my back, warm and solid.

Then he stopped, pulling his mouth away from mine. 'If any of the court saw me do that -' he said.

'They'd think I was your concubine.' I snorted. Suddenly the idea was really funny. I levered him off the wall, and nearly ran into Iroh.

'Zuko! Nemi! What happened?' he said, looking alarmed.

'There was an accident with some fireworks,' I said. 'Don't worry, it wasn't an assassin. Please don't be mad at me.'

'I'm not mad at you,' Iroh replied, staring at Zuko. 'Where is he hurt?'

'As far as I can tell, just his shoulder. Are there any waterbenders around?' I asked.

'I don't know. Perhaps one of the concubines -' Iroh broke off. 'You take Zuko to his rooms. 'I will see if I can find her.'

Zuko and I walked to his room like some kind of weird animal that was built sideways with four legs and four arms. I opened the door awkwardly, and he fell on his bed.

'See, aren't you glad I'm not one of those tiny Fire Nation girls?' I asked. 'They never would've been able to carry you home.'

Zuko stared at the ceiling in silence. 'I wonder how long it'll take Uncle to figure out we were on a date.'

'Knowing your uncle, not long,' I said, sitting on the bed next to him.

'It'll make him happy,' Zuko replied.

I pulled his head into my lap. 'It made me happy,' I said, brushing out his hair with my fingers.

It should have felt weird, being this close to him, but it didn't. It just felt - warm, I suppose. Warm and nice.

I was pulled out of my reverie by Iroh coming in through the door, a girl about my age behind him. She had tanned skin, long hair which was a deep shade of brown, and blue eyes. I could tell she was Water Tribe, like Katara. She was taller than most Fire Nation women, although not as tall as me, and was wearing a long white nightdress.

She was carrying a bucket and looked nervous, probably at the fact that she was going to heal the Fire Lord. She sat on the bed next to me and picked up his left arm.

'Don't worry,' I said to her. 'It was his own stupid fault.'

Zuko looked up at me. 'Thanks for the gratitude.'

I scowled at him. 'I'm expendable, you're not. How long is it going to take for that to get through your head?'

The girl manipulated a long stream of water out of the bucket, wrapping her palm in it. I watched as she tried to get it onto Zuko's injury. It took her a couple of goes, and a few splashes of water on Zuko's bed. I guessed she hadn't practised her bending in a while.

Zuko glared back at me. 'Since when is my girlfriend expendable?'

The word was out there now. I was surprised that no one in the room except for me seemed to notice.

The waterbender girl looked like she'd succeeded with the burn injury. She lifted her hands away, and I saw smooth pale unmarked skin.

'Thank you so much, Hanna,' Iroh said. 'You can go back to bed now.'

The waterbender girl did an awkward Fire Nation bow, leaving the room. Iroh glanced at us, and his eyes lingered on Zuko.

'I knew it,' he said.

'Of course you did, Uncle,' Zuko sighed, lifting his head to look up at his uncle.

'Well, I'm happy for you. For both of you,' Iroh said, looking at me. He shut the door behind him.

'You do…_want _to be my girlfriend, right?' Zuko tilted his head up. 'It's all right if you don't.'

I leaned down and kissed him on the lips again. 'If you dump me I'll rip your dick off,' I said sweetly.

'Is that what you did to your last boyfriend?'

'No. He stopped talking to me for two weeks. Then we went out on a date, and he broke up with me,' I said. It was surprisingly easy to talk about. Maybe it was because so much more had happened since then.

'Why didn't he talk to you?'

'Don't ask me,' I sighed. 'Maybe it was something to do with the fact that we tried to have sex.'

Zuko's eyes widened.

I looked down at him. 'What? Is that not done here? Sex before marriage?'

'No! No, I didn't mean that.' He looked disgusted. That hurt.

'It's great to see you think so highly of me,' I said, going to stand up.

'No.' He looked at me again. 'I just wish I had him in front of me now.' I saw his hands tighten into fists.

'Oh.' I settled back down. 'That makes me feel better.'

It was quiet for a while. Then Zuko turned over, so that he was lying on his belly and his chin was in my lap.

'If you gave yourself to me,' he said, 'I wouldn't leave you because of it. I'd think…I was the luckiest man alive.' He nuzzled my thigh gently through my skirt.

The tingling between my legs came back, the same tingling that had been there when Zuko had made that comment on the solstice about me being his concubine. 'That's really corny and romance-novel-y,' I said, 'but at the same time kind of…hot.'

'I mean it,' he said. 'He must have been the worst filth on the face of the earth to do something like that to you.'

'You're cute when you're jealous,' I said.

He looked indignant at that, but didn't say anything. I slid off the bed, going into my room. 'Goodnight, Zuko,' I said.

'Goodnight, Lisana.'

It was odd hearing him use my real name, but nice. I shut my door behind me and started getting ready for bed.


	30. Assumptions

Essay is DONEZORS!

Wow. Spell Check didn't stick a red wiggly line underneath that. Weird. Anyways…feeling extremely proud of myself right now. My environmental science class got given something like two months to write that paper. I changed topics twice halfway through, and wrote the entire thing in…

…let's see…*counts on fingers*

…about seven hours! Whoever you are, reading this, I hope you realise it's all your fault that I spent two months mucking around, playing BioShock and doing things of earth-shattering importance like updating fan fiction instead of writing an essay on sustainability worth 35% of my final grade.

Jokes. Just trying to (unsuccessfully) blame my penchant for procrastination on somebody else.

* * *

Vivisection

Chapter 30 - Assumptions

* * *

Zuko's eyelids lifted open, the scarred left one a little slower than the right. He stretched in bed, noticing the colour of the light streaming through his window. He'd woken later than usual.

He sat up. He usually slept bare-chested, which generally wasn't a problem in the year-long tropical heat of the Fire Nation islands. His hair fell around his face, strands in his eyes, and he brushed it aside absently.

The door at the side of his room opened, and Lisana came in, wearing the shorts and black sleeveless shirt she had worn to train in last time. She looked at him and Zuko saw her blush. 'Morning,' she said. 'Planning to get up any time soon?'

'I'm getting up now,' he said, standing up.

The door to the outside rattled and swung open, revealing his uncle. Zuko glared at Iroh. 'There's something called knocking, Uncle. Maybe you should try it some time.'

'You are right, Zuko,' he said, grinning widely. 'I should have given you time to fix your hair.'

Lisana laughed at that. 'You look like you stuck your finger in a toaster.'

Zuko ran his fingers impatiently through his hair. 'There. Everybody happy now?' He scowled at Iroh. 'I think I'm going to start locking my door from now on.'

'You should be doing that anyway,' Lisana butted in. 'It'd be pretty easy for someone to get in here and stab you in the throat before I had time to wake up.'

'She's right, Zuko.'

'You could wait until I'm awake to lecture me,' he grumbled, running his hand through his hair again.

'Are we going to spar again this morning?' Lisana asked. 'Even though it's _late._' She said the last word pointedly.

'Actually, that's why I came up here,' Iroh said, smiling again. 'I thought it would be nice for us to go on a picnic.'

'Fine.' Zuko gave in. 'Unless there's anything you want to do today?' He looked at Lisana. When he and Mai had first gotten together it had taken him a long time to stop feeling strange about having a girlfriend. He hadn't really been sure how to act. Technically she had been his first girlfriend - that one date he'd gone on with Jin in Ba Sing Se didn't really count.

But he felt comfortable with Lisana. Maybe it was because they were friends who knew a lot about each other.

Lisana shook her head. 'No. I'm good.'

Iroh grinned hugely again. 'Good to hear! I will ask someone in the kitchens to pack us some food.'

With that, he left.

'What's he so happy about?' Lisana asked, stepping towards him.

'The fact that I have a girlfriend and this time he's around to see it,' Zuko muttered, looking around for his shirt. 'He was in a Fire Nation prison when I started dating Mai. The same prison my father's in now.'

'What happened?'

Zuko put one of his hands to his head. 'Please don't judge me when I tell you.'

'Of course I won't. I've done things I'm not proud of, as you know. It would be incredibly hypocritical of me to judge you,' she replied, sitting on his bed.

Zuko told her the story of what had happened after his exile. He told her about how he had been given the task of capturing the Avatar, and about how this had led to what had happened underneath Ba Sing Se. When he had finished he fell silent.

She didn't say anything, and he groaned. 'Yes, I know, it was an incredibly crappy thing for me to do.'

'It's understandable,' she said. 'Your sister was in front of you, offering everything you ever wanted seemingly without a catch. It wasn't like you had time to make the decision, so you panicked.'

'Are you mad at me?' he asked her.

'No. Why would I be mad?' She looked genuinely puzzled. 'Obviously you redeemed yourself to your uncle, and to Aang, otherwise you wouldn't be friends with Aang and on good terms with Iroh. Sure, maybe if Iroh was still in prison, I'd say you were a douche and punch you in the head. But you made it right in the end, they forgave you, and that's what matters.'

Zuko sat down next to her and hugged her. 'Are you saying that because you're trying to make me feel better?' he asked. 'Or because it's true?'

'Because it's true, silly.' She kissed him gently.

There was a knock at the door. Zuko stood up and opened it.

'What? You said I should knock.' Iroh had his innocent face on. 'I haven't interrupted anything, have I?'

Zuko reddened and shook his head.

'Well, I have the food ready.' His uncle held up a picnic basket. 'You should probably get dressed.'

'I'll be out in a minute.' Zuko shut the door.

'Why do you look so embarrassed?' Lisana asked, smiling. 'What did your uncle say to you?'

'Um…nothing.'

She looked unconvinced, but left it at that. Zuko found his shirt on the floor, then remembered the shoulder had a burnt hole in it.

'I'm on it.' Lisana was in his wardrobe, going through his clothes. She tossed him a black shirt similar to the one he'd worn the previous night on their date. He shrugged it on and the two of them left the room.

'So where are we going?' Lisana asked Iroh.

'A nice place, just outside of the city. It doesn't take long to walk there,' he said.

They left the palace gates. As usual, virtually everyone they met was staring at Lisana. She looked uncomfortable.

'This is kind of creepy,' she whispered to him. 'Maybe I should dye my hair or something.'

'Don't do that. I like your hair.' Zuko reached out his hand and twirled a strand of it around his finger.

'I should at least wear a hood next time I go outside the palace,' Lisana muttered.

As they walked further, the buildings became smaller and the spaces between them bigger. Eventually they reached a grassy hill, the slope extending down to the ocean. A light breeze blew across Zuko's face.

'This is…familiar,' he said. 'I think my family came here once. It would have been when you were in Ba Sing Se, Uncle.'

'Yes.' Iroh looked more subdued at that.

Lisana sat down on the grass. 'This is nice,' she said, looking up at Zuko. 'How old were you when you were here?'

'I can't really remember. About ten.' He sat down next to her, putting his arm around her shoulders. She stiffened at first, then gradually relaxed.

'Sorry,' she said. 'I'm not really used to…this.'

Iroh was grinning hugely again. He sat down with them. 'So how long have the two of you been together?'

Lisana reddened. 'We only went on a date for the first time yesterday, actually.'

'Unfortunate that it didn't go so well,' Iroh commented. 'Zuko, you should take her out to dinner sometime. That was a success with Jin, wasn't it?'

'Jin?' Lisana looked up at him. 'Was she your girlfriend?'

'Not really.' Zuko looked down. 'We only went out once. It was never going to work.'

'Don't be so hard on yourself, Zuko,' Iroh said.

Zuko sighed. 'Uncle, I was pretending to be an Earth Kingdom man working in a tea shop. That's who Jin thought I was.'

'You used to work in a tea shop?' Lisana smirked. 'Somehow I can't quite see that in my head.'

'I think I still have his apron somewhere,' Iroh said, opening up the picnic basket and taking out bread rolls and sushi.

'That's so cute. We have to put it on him sometime. And then he can get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich,' Lisana laughed.

'What's a sandwich?' Iroh asked.

'You have two pieces of bread and you put food in between them. Then you eat it,' Lisana said. 'I can't believe no one here has thought of sandwiches. Sure, I was never that crazy about them, but…'

Iroh laughed. They started eating the food he had brought. By the time they had finished the sun was bright overhead.

'Don't you have a policy meeting this afternoon, Zuko?' Iroh asked. 'Although I'm sure you would rather spend time with your lovely girlfriend here.' He smiled.

Zuko scowled at the thought.

'I guess the economists got their comprehensive analysis,' Lisana snorted.

They stood up to leave, his uncle carrying the basket. As they walked over the crest of the hill Iroh turned to Zuko.

'I do have a question for both of you,' he said. 'It concerns a delicate matter.'

'Fire when ready,' Lisana said.

'Well, it's really two questions. The first question you may find a little awkward.' Iroh paused. 'Are the two of you planning to share Zuko's room?'

Lisana's face went very red. 'I hadn't really thought about that.'

'Zuko, you know what the court will say as well as I do if you get her pregnant,' Iroh said, looking at him.

'Yes, Uncle.' Zuko was feeling very awkward right about now. 'We'll be careful.'

'I'm sorry for asking you that. It's none of anyone else's business what two consenting adults do in the privacy of their bedroom, but the court won't necessarily feel that way.' Iroh looked apologetic. 'I also have to ask whether you were planning to make your relationship public.'

'Is that…done?' Lisana asked. 'Will it make Zuko look bad if he's going out with me? Since I'm technically a commoner.'

'I don't care if it does.' Zuko looked at her.

'No one will question anything the Fire Lord does. Admittedly, some of the noble families with eligible daughters will probably be annoyed at you, Nemi, but they'll get over it in time.'

They entered the palace gates. As they went to go inside Iroh looked at them. 'I am going to dinner. Will I see the two of you down there?'

'In a few minutes,' Zuko said, walking towards his room.

As soon as they were out of earshot of Iroh Lisana elbowed him. 'So that was why you were looking all flustered this morning.'

'I'm pretty sure you can guess what my uncle was implying then,' Zuko replied. They went into his room and shut the door.

'The picnic was nice, though,' Lisana said, undoing her hair.

'Mm.' Zuko pulled off the boots he'd been walking in, finding his gold-trimmed ones instead.

'Zuko?' Lisana turned around. 'Are we going to…end up sleeping in your room together?'

Zuko looked down. 'I don't know. Would you want to?'

'I'm not sure,' she admitted. 'I haven't done this in a while. Having a…being in a relationship.'

'Me neither,' Zuko said, eliciting a laugh.

Lisana glanced at him. 'I don't want to call you my _boyfriend. _It sounds so juvenile. So high school.'

'We don't have to do that kind of stuff if you don't want to,' Zuko said, taking her into his arms. 'The boyfriend and girlfriend stuff, the physical stuff.'

'I never said I didn't want to,' she said, giving him a quick, cheeky kiss on the lips. 'I'm just not sure right now. I'm guessing you've…done the sex thing before.' She looked away, and blushed.

'Yes.' Zuko glanced at her, looked at the way she held herself and the way she wasn't looking at him, and put two and two together. 'You haven't, have you? You said you tried.'

'Yes,' she replied, still not looking at him. 'Me and my – boyfriend. We tried to. He didn't force me into it or anything like that. He was very gentle. But it hurt me, so we stopped.'

Zuko kissed her. 'Don't worry about it,' he said. 'I don't want to make you do anything you don't want to do.'

She hugged him. 'I appreciate it.'

They stood there for a while. Eventually Lisana said, 'We'd better go down to dinner. Otherwise your uncle is going to assume things.'

Much to his surprise, Zuko laughed. They left his room and walked downstairs together, hand in hand.


	31. Pandora's Box

Here's another Azula chapter, because I thought I hadn't written about her in a while. Thanks again to everyone who's reviewed, added this to their story alert, or even just read it. You're the reason I keep writing.

Had an awesome idea for another fic, but for some reason I can't write two stories simultaneously. Really weird, I don't know what it is.

Vivisection

Chapter 31 - Pandora's Box

Azula pulled her boots on. She was done - the black pants and shirt made her inconspicuous. She decided to keep the mask hidden in her shirt until she reached the prison.

No doubt people still remembered the tale of the Blue Spirit, the legendary thief. That particular story had been more than just something to get children to sleep at night. There had been quite a high price on his head, and the promise of promotion to whichever ranking officer managed to capture him. There had been a story about a Fire Nation admiral who had captured the Avatar, only to have him stolen away by the Blue Spirit. Azula had never given it credit for being anything more than a story. Anyone who would be foolish enough to either brag about the Avatar's capture before he was safely locked away in a Fire Nation prison, or let such a story get out, would surely have kissed a career in the Fire Nation army goodbye. And the story had never mentioned anything about the admiral's punishment from the Fire Lord.

It was a pity Azula hadn't been able to locate the original mask, although that would doubtless be impossible to do, since it was probably in some backwater Earth Kingdom town. There had been no word of any daring escapades on the thief's part for the last two years. He was probably married with a family, imprisoned, or dead by now.

That suited Azula's purposes just fine. The one flaw in her plan was that the Blue Spirit had always fought with dual broadswords, a weapon she had never had the time or inclination to develop proficiency with. She decided it didn't matter. It wasn't like anyone in the prison would be left alive to tell the tale.

She tossed her hair over her shoulder in its single plait and climbed out her window, making the short drop to the ground. It was odd that there was the underlying assumption that a whore would never want to, or never think of, running away. None of the windows or doors were ever locked.

Azula slipped into a confident stride. Anyone looking at her would probably take her for a bounty hunter. No matter. All she needed to do was get as far as the prison.

It didn't take her long to walk there. The capital city had been built on a relatively small island, and so everything was placed in close proximity to everything else.

Azula reached into her shirt and slipped on the mask she'd made. There was a kind of poetic justice to what she was doing, she supposed. The Blue Spirit had always been an enemy of the Fire Nation under her father's rule, and now she was using the thief's guise to take back that age in history.

She knew better than to approach the prison directly. Instead, she moved off the road, searching for a waste or water pipe. No matter how high-security a prison supposedly was, water and waste had to come in and out, and that meant a way in. That was the genius of the Boiling Rock prison. Escape through water mains wasn't an issue when the prison was on an island surrounded by a boiling lake.

Azula stopped thinking about the Boiling Rock. It was an unpleasant memory for a number of reasons, and she didn't particularly want to relive it.

She found the waste main. Thankfully the prison used the incendiary system for the toilets - Azula couldn't smell anything particularly horrible, just damp and cold.

She slipped in through the pipes and crawled down. It would have been a problem for someone bigger, but Azula hadn't eaten properly in some time. Meals in the asylum had been a case of survival of the fittest, and even then there hadn't been enough to go around. And the women in the brothel were kept thin and small, because that was what Fire Nation men liked.

Except apparently for Zuzu's new bodyguard, the demon.

Azula had heard the rumours. The more politically correct ones said she was a spirit in human form. Most of the gossip-mongerers in town reported that she was a beautiful demon, whom Zuko had sold his soul to in exchange for saving his life. Azula had even seen the girl at a distance. It was understandable why she was considered beautiful. The girl had had long legs, ample curves like Ty Lee but on a taller, leaner body. Other than that and her hair, she was perfectly ordinary-looking. Azula couldn't tell why so many Fire Nation men were supposedly bewitched by her. Maybe she really was a demon.

She was definitely in human form, though, and anything in human form could be killed.

Azula reached a manhole, which was positioned over her head. She inched forward, pushing at it with her shoulder. Dim candlelight met her eyes, as well as silence meeting her ears after the gurgles of fluid in the mains system. Good. No one was using this room. Azula pulled herself up through the hole and looked around.

She appeared to be in some kind of laundry. Piles of folded-up clothes sat on a rough wooden table - mostly grey and brown inmates' uniforms. Nearby was a huge copper tub which was obviously used for washing.

Azula crept through the room. She reached a door at the end and pushed it open. She was faced with what appeared to be deserted corridor.

Azula was familiar with the layout of prisons. She had to find the prison warden's office, which would have automated release controls for all the cells. The control room was usually at the top of the building.

She walked silently along the corridor, spotting a Fire Nation soldier walking in her direction. His eyes widened as he saw her, and Azula saw him open his mouth, preparing to sound an alarm.

He never had the time to. Azula's arm shot out with two fingers extended, and the young prison guard died with lightning in his heart and nothing in his eyes. The corpse fell on the ground, smoking at the chest, and Azula smelt the sharp, acrid stink of burned flesh. Azula moved over to it, glancing at the dead face. She realised with a start that he looked very similar to the soldier who had paid for her services in the brothel and taken her virginity, the one who had tried not to hurt her. Perhaps this dead body was his brother.

In an odd gesture of compassion, she reached out her right hand and pushed his eyelids shut. She stood, not wanting to linger overlong, and moved on.

Azula came to a flight of stairs, and descended as far as they would go. When she came out at the topmost landing, she saw a door just a few paces down. Unlike the prison cells, this door was imprinted with a Fire Nation insignia in gold leaf. Azula crept up to it, pulling a blue flame into existence in her right hand. She applied the flame to the lock.

After a few minutes, the lock softened, turning cherry red. Azula waited until it had turned into a molten mass of white-hot metal, then took off her boot heel and pushed it in. She opened the useless door and saw not the prison warden's office she was expecting, but her father.

Ozai was asleep. His hair had grown long, limp and greasy. He had lost his looks, as well as a lot of weight and muscle mass. He looked vaguely pathetic, and Azula wondered for a moment why she had bothered coming here to break him out.

_I need him,_ she thought. _That's why I'm bothering. _

Azula lifted off the Blue Spirit mask. 'Father,' she whispered.

For an instant she thought Ozai wasn't going to wake up. He remained motionless, then sighed and shifted in his sleep. His eyes opened, and he saw her.

'Azula.' There was no joy in his voice. 'I thought they had you locked away as well.'

'Father, I need you to stand. We must leave here. I already killed one of the guards.' Azula was surprised at how flat and emotionless her voice sounded. For a moment, she had almost reminded herself of Mai, back in the good old days before Mai had feelings.

Ozai did as she said. 'Is this some trick of Zuko's?'

That definitely induced emotion. 'Zuko is not my brother,' Azula spat. 'Now follow me, if you want to get out of here alive.'

They walked in silence down the flight of stairs, and Azula wondered if Ozai even knew her at all. _How could you think I would ally myself with the person who locked me up in a mental asylum?_ she thought, coldly. _That doesn't even make sense. _

Part of her felt a little betrayed that the one person she thought had cared about her, even a little, turned out not to even know what sort of person she was. They walked into the laundry, and Ozai looked down at the manhole cover.

'You can't expect me to get out that way.'

_And now he thinks I'm stupid, as well, _Azula thought. She pointed at the nearby window instead. She thanked the good fortune that had made the designers of the prison lead the mains system directly underneath the laundry. The laundry was probably the one room in the whole prison which required a window.

But, as her father had once said, she was born lucky.

Azula slipped out the window, and Ozai followed her. Doubts lingered in Azula's mind, and she pushed them away. Ozai was without his bending. He _would _do as she told him.

Or, father or not, she would end him.


	32. All I Need

And…it's a chapter with a Within Temptation song title. Yay. I apologise for not writing much this weekend. In my defence, I was working and got let out late both days. Extremely, extremely tired right now. You will notice that I've changed the story description/byline thingie...Mostly because my story's changed a lot since I first started writing it. Don't worry, it's still going to turn out a little bit dark and obsessive, because that's how I write.

* * *

Vivisection

Chapter 32 - All I Need

* * *

The cold steel of the operating table cut into my back, but I barely noticed it. All that remained in my mind was the agony of scalpel cutting into flesh.

My throat was ragged with screaming, barely able to make a sound, and still the surgeon leant over me, cutting out my soft warm human parts one by one. My back arched, limbs pulling against the straps that held down my arms and legs, and suddenly the world went dark.

My eyelids fluttered, and I woke to a blessed lack of pain. It was very warm, and I realised the person holding me was Zuko. I held onto him as if I was drowning, feeling ashamed of myself.

He seemed to understand that I couldn't speak. He just pressed me against him, one hand stroking my hair. Slowly I relaxed my grip on him.

'I'm sorry for waking you up,' I said.

'It's okay,' he murmured.

I wondered that he had never asked me what I dreamt about. That was the way Zuko was with me. He was impossibly patient, never asking or demanding anything of me. It still surprised me that we'd been together for just over two months now and he had never asked what had happened to my family.

I swallowed, burying my face in his bare shoulder like the coward I was. I would have to tell him eventually. _Just man up and do it,_ said the pragmatic voice in my head, unhelpfully.

'Are you all right?' he asked finally. 'Did something happen that triggered it this time?'

'No.' My voice wobbled, and I realised I was trying not to cry. 'I don't know why I keep having them.'

Zuko held me tighter at that, and tears trickled out of my eyes, much to my chagrin. I was pretty sure he was being incredibly nice and pretending not to notice.

'I'm sorry,' I said again.

'Don't be sorry,' he replied, reaching a hand to my cheek and brushing the tear trails away with his fingers. 'It's not your fault.'

I sniffed. 'You deserve someone far nicer and prettier and more mentally stable than me.'

'Mental stability doesn't do it for me.' He pushed a tangled strand of hair away from my face. I surprised myself and laughed, even though the joke hadn't been that funny.

'I am going to make an effort to be nice to you from now on,' I replied. 'I won't call you Princess Zuko any more.'

He laughed, and kissed the top of my head. 'That's what you say now. But a week later, when I beat you in sparring…'

I gave him a sane-person hug. 'Seriously, though, thank you for putting up with me,' I said. 'Honestly, I expected to have been dumped by now.'

Zuko lifted my chin and kissed me on the lips. 'I do know enough about you not to do anything like that,' he replied, and kissed me again. 'And besides, you threatened to forcibly remove a certain part of my anatomy if I broke up with you.' I laughed, and he looked up at me with his beautiful gold eyes. 'And,' he said, almost as if in an afterthought, 'I love you.'

I wasn't really sure what to say. Part of me felt very honoured and very touched to be loved by him. Another part was scared that he would end up leaving me, just like Jimi did. I wasn't sure that I could stand hearing Zuko tell me he didn't want me any more.

I took the plunge. 'I love you too,' I said.

Zuko smiled, looking the way I'd felt just a few seconds before, only without the afraid part. His arms wrapped around my waist and his lips touched mine.

I kissed him back. There was something different about it this time, something a little bit deeper and more intimate. The most physical contact Zuko and I had had over the past two months was kissing. Neither of us had moved towards anything more than that, but now I parted my lips, almost involuntarily, and felt him pause, as if he was asking permission.

He licked my lower lip, just gently, and started going in further. I realised instantly that he knew what he was doing, unlike Jimi when we had first started going out. I remembered those kisses. They had been clumsy and awkward, both of us gradually improving with time.

I moved myself so that I was sitting on his lap. Zuko's hands ran up my sides, past my ribs and over my arms. He kissed me deeper, one hand entwining itself in my hair.

Then he pulled away, and I felt almost disappointed. He saw the look on my face and smiled.

'Do you want to do more of that?' he asked.

I didn't answer, instead pressing my body against him and my mouth against his. The electric tingling in my face and hands didn't diminish - if anything, it got stronger.

Eventually he moved his head away, looking almost pained.

'What's wrong?' I asked.

Zuko looked down. In the candlelight he looked almost embarrassed. _If he wasn't so pale, _I caught myself thinking, _he'd probably be blushing. _

'I don't want to get carried away,' he muttered. 'You heard Uncle.'

I giggled at his discomfort.

He glared at me. 'I haven't - been with a woman for two years. I have no idea what my self-control's up to.'

That made me blush, and this time I was the one to look away.

'Don't worry,' he said, mistaking it for fear. 'I'd never hurt you.'

'I know you wouldn't,' I said, feeling embarrassed.

He kissed me lightly on the forehead. 'We should probably go back to sleep.' Zuko stood up. Strands of black hair hung in his eyes, one of them narrowed with the burn scar. The candlelight played over his skin, making his eyes seem brighter than they were. The thought crossed my mind that I really wouldn't object too much to his self-control abandoning him, and my face went hot again.

He turned around, closing the door behind him. 'Goodnight.'

'Goodnight,' I replied, blowing out the candle near me. I slid under my blankets. I had missed physical intimacy for a long time, wondered how it would feel for it not to hurt. I wondered how it would feel with Zuko. I wondered how often he had wondered the same thing about me.

More pragmatically, I wondered how on earth I was supposed to prevent a pregnancy, even if we got that far. There couldn't be any condoms on this world. _Cross that bridge _if _you come to it,_ I thought firmly to myself. I had learnt my lesson with Jimi. I hadn't seen the dumping coming there. Zuko could turn out to be just the same, as much as I wanted not to believe it.

I closed my eyes and tried to go to sleep.


	33. Better Run

Vivisection

Chapter 33 - Better Run

* * *

Zuko rubbed his eyes absentmindedly. He was a little tired, admittedly, but he certainly didn't regret the time he'd spent awake last night.

He glanced at Lisana sitting next to him cross-legged. As if she could tell what he was thinking, she blushed slightly and glanced up at him.

Kissing her had been different to kissing Mai, somehow. Zuko moved his mind away from that particular train of thought. He didn't want to constantly compare Lisana to Mai. It would feel like insulting both of them.

Again, he wondered what Lisana was like in bed, and forced himself to concentrate on the meeting. The last two of his generals were just arriving now, murmuring apologies for being late. An urgent conference had been called this morning. Obviously some kind of danger was at hand, whereas sleeping with his girlfriend wasn't going to happen any time soon.

Once everyone was seated, the man nearest his throne began to speak. 'Fire Lord, I offer my apologies for calling this meeting with so little prior notice.'

'You are forgiven,' Zuko replied formally.

'A matter of grave national importance is at hand, one that we believe concerns your sister.' The general bowed his head. 'Your father was reported missing from his cell early this morning.'

All the blood in Zuko's body went to chill around his heart. 'What evidence do you have that it was Azula who got him out?' His voice was deceptively calm. The question was pointless. Zuko knew, with the undeniable gut feeling which had always led him in the direction of Aang in the past, that his sister had been involved.

'One of the guards was found dead on a lower level of the prison. He had been killed with the cold-hearted fire.' The general spoke matter-of-factly, as if the death of an innocent man who most likely had a family and children was merely evidence of Azula's presence.

'Has the man's body been returned to his family?' Zuko asked.

'Of course, Fire Lord.' The general bowed. 'We wish to know what course of action you wish to take. Do we alert the public of Ozai's escape?'

An idea floated to the surface of Zuko's mind.

'I would like to ask Nemi her thoughts on the matter,' he said, motioning to Lisana. It felt odd to address her by her false name.

Lisana flushed, standing up. She looked around her uncertainly, as if hoping someone would object to this turn of events. No one did, although the Fire Nation's highest ranking generals and ministers looked startled. It was understandable. The only other woman Zuko knew of who had been permitted to speak in the Fire Lord's war room had been Azula, and she had been a princess and his father's favourite. Lisana was, for all intents and purposes, a commoner at best and a peasant at worst. Zuko could see that line of thought in the faces of the generals.

Lisana straightened and spoke. 'I recommend notifying the public, unless of course they were unaware of Ozai's incarceration,' she said, flashing a glance at Zuko. 'It'll be harder for him to move about unnoticed. Would many of the Fire Nation public know him by sight, or would posters be necessary?'

'Most people would have only seen my father at a distance,' Zuko replied.

The general who had spoken at the beginning of the meeting looked at Lisana. 'Posters are a good idea.' He sounded as if he was trying to keep the surprise out of his voice.

'I think you should also mention that Ozai is likely to be in the company of a young woman with Azula's physical description,' Lisana continued. 'If I were Azula, I'd have figured out by now that the general public doesn't know about the fact that I've escaped and use that to my advantage. You don't need to provide her name - she'll probably be using a fake name. Just a description or picture of her will do. Say that she's wanted for crimes against the Fire Nation, treason or something like that.'

The generals were nodding. Zuko was a little annoyed with himself for not thinking of advertising Azula's face rather than her name before. Then he reminded himself that Lisana hadn't come up with that idea around the time of the solstice, and felt better.

'I'll have one of my agents send an order to a printer now,' said one of them, bowing and leaving the room.

'That was all we wished to discuss, Fire Lord. Unless of course you have anything further to add?' The general who had told him about Ozai's escape looked at him questioningly.

'Um…no.' Zuko watched as the generals left the war room, filing out one after the other.

'What was with the pause?' Lisana walked over to where he was sitting, perching on the arm of the throne.

'What pause?' Zuko replied, distracted.

'He asked you if you had anything else you wanted to say, and it was like you did but you avoided saying it,' she responded, following it up with a punch to his arm.

Zuko flinched. 'What was that for?' He'd forgotten that she could hit hard, almost as hard as Toph.

'You weren't paying attention to me,' she said, levelling her gaze at him.

'Sorry.' Zuko looked down, and then looked up again. He wondered whether to tell her, then decided to go for it. 'I thought about telling them about us.'

'But you decided not to,' she answered, looking thoughtful. 'It was a good idea. Your generals really need to focus on finding your father. They don't need to know right now.'

'That's a relief.' Zuko exhaled. 'I thought you'd be annoyed with me.'

'You seem to think that a lot,' Lisana said.

'I'm just being careful. I really don't want to -'

'Fuck this up?' Lisana sighed. 'Me neither.'

Zuko moved his hand and closed it around her own. 'It'd annoy my father, if he was still Fire Lord.'

'Us being together?' Lisana asked. 'Or you being careful?'

'Me being with a -' Zuko paused, unsure how to say it without insulting her. 'A commoner,' he finished, opting for that instead of _peasant. _

'Won't the same thing happen here? If this does get more, you know, permanent,' she held up their joined hands, 'won't that be bad for you? I thought you would've been expected to marry someone who was good enough for you.'

'If my father was still Fire Lord, I'd be a prince,' Zuko said, his fingers weaving together with hers. 'I'd have to be with someone who would make him look good. But the Fire Lord can marry as he chooses.' He looked down at her. 'And you're more than good enough for me. I'm the one who should worry about being good enough for you.'

Lisana smiled, blushing a little. 'Aww, that's sweet. But untrue. You don't get points for saying nice things to me when they're lies.'

Zuko kissed her, then stood up. 'Do I get points for that?'

'Maybe,' she said, standing up with him. 'What do you want to do for the rest of the day?'

In answer, he kissed her again, a little deeper. When he moved away her face was pink. 'I thought you didn't want to get carried away.'

'I won't,' he replied, as they walked back to his room. 'One of the first things a firebender learns is self-control.'

* * *

I think it's time to give them a little privacy now. Hopefully someone out there is reading this! According to my stats page no one has for about a week, and it's making me a little bit sad and paranoid. Sorry about the slow updating, I've had a Chemistry exam to study for and just general crazy amounts of homework.


	34. Only Half Evil

I was listening to the song Mask of Sanity by Children of Bodom when I was writing this chapter. I suppose it's kind of fitting. I really, really wanted to stick this chapter title on number 33, because that would have been cool, but it didn't quite work out that way.

* * *

Vivisection

Chapter 34 - Only Half Evil

* * *

Azula felt almost like the person she had been before the day of Sozin's comet. For the first time in two years, she felt strong and confident in her ability to make her plans work.

Even as she explained what would happen to her father, she was picturing how it would play out in her head. And that was how it _would_ end up playing out. Luck had always favoured her. She had escaped from the asylum, and there hadn't been so much as a sighting of her reported back to the so-called Fire Lord.

Her escape hadn't been particularly well thought out, she would freely admit that. She had been pumped so full of medication designed to regulate how she acted and spoke and thought that she had been almost incapable of forming a coherent line of reasoning, let alone constructing a fully fledged plan. But she had gotten out, and that was all that mattered. Her mind was free of the influence of medication now.

They were sitting in a none-too-reputable Fire Nation tavern, the kind of place Azula would have avoided like the plague had she still been recognised as royalty. What she had earned from the brothel had been enough to pay for a room for a month, but she had no plans to stay that long. Sitting in their room, she had no concerns about being overheard. This was the kind of place where no one pried into anyone else's business if they could help it, and anyone who did happen to catch any of their conversation would doubtless be too drunk to remember it the next day.

When she had finished speaking her father nodded. 'A well-thought-out plan. It still surprises me that Zuko managed to foil you and take the throne.'

Azula felt herself redden. 'What happened in the past stays in the past,' she said stiffly, brushing it aside. 'When the plan succeeds, the Fire Nation will be brought into the future. No one will care about the past.'

Ozai bowed his head in acknowledgement. 'Indeed. A new age of prosperity for the Fire Nation shall begin. And I shall be the one to lead it.'

Azula did a mental double-take. She stared at her father in blank astonishment. He saw the expression on her face and smiled.

'Isn't that why you freed me?' he asked. 'So that I could take my rightful place on the Fire Nation throne?'

'With respect, Father, you no longer have your bending.' On the inside, Azula was panicking, but kept her voice steady. 'The people of the Fire Nation will not accept you as ruler -'

'-because the Fire Lord has always been a firebender,' Ozai finished darkly. 'Don't worry, Azula. We shall remedy that.'

Azula tried to keep calm. There was no way the Avatar would return her father's firebending to him. She wasn't even sure if it was possible. _There's no way the Avatar would return his bending _willingly, a voice in the back of her head corrected. Azula was forced to acknowledge that. There was nothing to stop Ozai from capturing the Avatar and forcing Aang to give his bending back.

No, the Avatar had beaten her father in a fight once already, and that had been when Ozai's firebending had been at its strongest, fuelled by the power of Sozin's comet. Surely the Avatar could defeat him again.

Azula knew that if she were to become Fire Lord, she would not be able to continue with Sozin's original plan of conquest. The only way Sozin had been able to wipe out the Air Nomads had been with the power of the comet. Afterwards, the war had continued at a virtual stalemate for a hundred years. Azula knew the comet wasn't due to visit for another ninety-eight years, by which time she was likely to have perished of old age. No, she would have to be content with the Fire Nation, and that she was happy to do.

Azula had no quarrel with the Avatar. Surely the Avatar would take it as a personal loss when she killed Zuko, but she had no plans to take over the world as her ancestors had done.

And what of the Water Tribe girl who had defeated her on the day of the comet? Azula flinched at the memory. She would be content with never seeing the waterbender's face again. She had no desire to return to the madness again. As it was, she still had trouble sleeping at night.

She remembered the dream - well, it was a nightmare really. She had had it again the previous night. Thankfully, Ozai had either slept through her screaming, or chosen to say nothing of the matter.

Ozai was looking at her as if he'd just asked her something. Azula jerked out of her reverie. 'What was that, Father?'

'I was just saying that you'd hardly be likely to go to the effort of rescuing me if you were only going to double-cross me,' Ozai said, fixing her with a steady gaze. 'Isn't that right, Azula?'

When she paused, he continued. 'You've got a sharp mind, and I respect that. But I've been playing this game a lot longer than you. If you do get it into your head to double-cross me, you'll come off worst.'

'Of course, Father,' Azula agreed absently. _You've also been in a prison cell for the past two years without even an attempt to escape, _she thought. _If you were that clever you wouldn't have needed me to rescue you. _

It was a little disappointing, but not entirely unexpected, for Ozai to have aspirations of his own for the throne. Azula had hoped he would be a source of support, guidance even. Apparently not.

'I am tired,' she said, standing up. 'Let us sleep now.'

'Agreed.' Ozai went over to his bed and laid down.

Azula did the same. It was going to be all right. Ozai couldn't take the throne without his bending, even he had acknowledged that. And whatever he said, he was never going to be a firebender again.

At least that was what she kept telling herself.


	35. Cemetery Drive

Yes, I did listen to My Chemical Romance at one point. Went off them because a) I got into metal instead, and b) because my boyfriend at the time took the piss out of me because of it. I'm not proud of that, because I've always been one of those people who swears they will never let a significant other (or anyone else) influence them in that way. He ended up breaking up with me, citing some half-arsed, obviously made up reason which I think was boy code for 'I don't love you any more.' Which I guess says it all. He was the only guy I've ever gone out with, too.

But life is fun without him! No boyfriend = more time = more computer games = more music = more anime = more fan fiction!

For fans of Metalocalypse: K-K-K-K-YEAH! (Don't worry, unlike Dr. Rockzo I do not do cocaine.)

Anyways, the lyrics of this song inspired me to write this chapter, even though I'm not really into MCR any more. It talks about being messed up and drinking in a cemetery, which was always something I wanted to write.

Enjoy! And please review if you like it! Plotwise, this chapter is really really important! You find out what's wrong with Lisana!

* * *

Vivisection

Chapter 35 - Cemetery Drive

* * *

The light of a half-moon shone overhead. It was chilly - not even the Fire Nation's tropical heat lasted overnight.

Zuko sat, slumped against a tombstone, deep in thought. If anyone ever found out about this, they would probably think him either deeply morbid or deeply depressed. It wasn't likely they would. This wasn't the royal cemetery, which had fallen into disuse when cremations had become popular but was still occasionally visited by history students from the university.

This particular plot had once belonged to commoners. No one had used it for nearly three hundred years. Zuko had seen enough engraved dates to know. He came here to sit, and think, and not be followed.

He thought about Lisana. She had had more nightmares over the past two weeks. Each time, he had paused in his room, listening to the screaming. He was never sure whether to go in and comfort her or not. Every time he did he felt like he was intruding on something deeply personal. Yet whenever he heard the whispered 'Please don't cut me open,' his conscience forced him to open the door joining their rooms.

Once, after three nights of them, his uncle had asked him if he was getting enough sleep. Zuko had told him, and watched the expression of worry grow on his uncle's face.

'Something must have happened to deeply traumatise her,' he had murmured, looking pensive. 'Those nightmares sound almost as if she is reliving whatever it was.'

'It's horrible, Uncle,' he had replied. 'Like she's being tortured.'

'Has she ever mentioned anything about it to you?'

_I was sixteen when it happened…the bad thing…_

'Not really.'

'Maybe it's a bad idea for you to wake her up,' Iroh had said. 'Consciously, she's not ready to face whatever it is. You're stopping her memories of it from running their course.'

Zuko had nodded in acknowledgement.

Yet every night that it happened, he found it impossible to lie in his bed and listen to her scream.

_Please make it stop…_

Deep down, he knew it was because of Mai. He had never seen that there was anything wrong. He hadn't been able to make it stop for her. And so she had thought there was only one way out.

So whenever the screaming came, he opened the door joining their rooms and took her into his arms and let her scream and cry into his shoulder. If any of the courtiers knew, doubtless he would get several well-meaning would-be advisors reminding him of the last mistake he'd made with a dangerous lunatic.

Zuko knew she wasn't dangerous. She'd had many, many opportunities to kill or maim him and had never taken one of them. She'd saved his life, when it would have been easier - and more beneficial to her - to let him die.

Her madness wasn't like Azula's. Was it even madness? It seemed more like a terrible memory that she would never be able to escape.

He was jerked out of his reverie by cracking twigs, muffled swearing. Shit. Someone was here. Someone had found his place.

Probably some fucking university students coming to suck each other's faces off.

Zuko stood up, looking for somewhere to hide, and saw Lisana.

'What have I told you about sneaking off?' she demanded. 'How am I supposed to protect you if I don't know where you are?'

'If you recall, you're only supposed to babysit me from sunrise until sunset,' Zuko replied, gesturing at the sky.

'What, so I'm supposed to not care if you live or die outside those hours?' she snapped. Zuko noticed she hadn't bothered to change out of her nightdress. Now that they were back in the tropical warmth of the main Fire Nation islands, she'd obviously started wearing less to bed. Part of him was very happy with this development and was busy enjoying the way this dress - black silk - showed a lot more leg than anything she wore during the day. The rest of him wanted to stop being a pervert. Granted, she was his girlfriend now, but that didn't automatically make it all right to picture her naked every five seconds.

'Pretty much,' he said.

'Well, it's not going to happen,' she said, sitting down next to him and holding up a bottle.

Zuko took it from her, looking at the label. 'You stole this from the royal cellar,' he said, looking at her.

'As long as you drink some I'm not in trouble.' She shrugged.

Zuko unscrewed the top and took a drink of the rice wine. He passed it to her, saying, 'Is this what teenagers on your world do?'

'Pretty much,' she replied, taking a swig. 'But there's usually about a hundred and fifty of them in someone's backyard, standing around a burning bin and doing drugs as well as drinking.'

'Why do they burn bins?' Zuko asked, trying not to laugh.

'Oh, it's a heathen religious custom,' she said. 'And…teenagers don't usually hang out in cemeteries to do their drinking.' She looked up at him, questioning.

'I come here because no one else does,' he said.

'I see,' she said. 'I guess I've ruined that for you, then.'

Zuko laughed at that.

'Oh well,' she continued. 'It was only a matter of time. One day the zombie apocalypse will come, and then this place will be full of the howls and moans of the undead.'

Zuko wasn't exactly sure what to say to that. Lisana took the opportunity then to jump on him. 'BRAINS!' she shouted.

Lisana was on top of him, her body pressed against him in all the right places. The nightdress rode up over her thighs, her breasts pressed against his chest. Zuko hoped very much she wouldn't notice what was going on in his pants.

She sat up. 'Nup, no good. You wouldn't make a very good meal for a hungry zombie. Not enough brains.'

_More like not enough _blood _in my brain, _Zuko thought darkly. 'Doesn't that mean I survive the apocalypse?' he asked, trying to distract himself.

'Nope,' she said cheerfully. 'You get bitten anyway. And then you become…the Zombie Lord!'

'Are you still my girlfriend?'

'No. You'd try to eat my brains. I'm sorry, but when you become one of the grey horde you have to fend for yourself. No bodyguard, no girlfriend, no nothing.' She smiled, a little sleepily, up at him. 'Unless I become a zombie too.'

They sat in silence for a while.

'Are you still sad?' Zuko asked her.

Lisana looked at him. 'No. Why would I be sad?'

'About not being able to go back to where you come from.' He paused, not knowing whether she was still sensitive about it.

'I've kind of gotten used to the idea, I guess. Although it's not like I can teach your people about physics or chemistry,' she replied, taking another drink.

'Why not?' He took the bottle off her.

'Well,' she said, 'I don't particularly want to be responsible for the invention of the atomic bomb in this world. All it takes is the discovery of the neutron. And if you tell people about nuclei, that comes along eventually.'

'What's an atomic bomb?' he asked. 'Some kind of super weapon?'

'Kind of.' She took the bottle from him and took another swig. 'Don't get any ideas though.'

'Trust me, I won't.' Zuko heard his voice darken. 'I grew up with an evil conqueror as my father.'

'That must have been rough.'

'It was.' Unconsciously, Zuko touched the edge of his scar, feeling the crinkled skin give a little beneath his fingers.

Her arms came around him in a hug. He stiffened, and then she just as quickly pulled away, looking a little embarrassed.

'It's okay,' he assured her. They were silent for a while, and then she spoke. 'It was terrible that your father did that to you.'

'If he hadn't done it I wouldn't be the person I am now,' he replied, kissing the top of her head. She breathed out slowly, as if she was tense.

'I never told you about what happened to me,' she said, her voice quiet.

'You don't have to. Not if you don't want to remember it,' he said, straightening up and pulling her further into him.

'I want to tell you about it,' she said, taking in a breath and looking up at him.

'I'm listening,' he said.

She released the breath.

'It was a school night. Usually I stayed up late to draw, write stories, listen to music or use my computer. But I had a cold, so I went to bed early.' Her voice had gone almost mechanical. 'If I'd gone to sleep later, I might have - stopped him.'

'Who?' he asked, keeping his voice gentle.

'The man who killed my family,' she said, voice catching. 'I woke up the next day. I was laid out on the floor of my room. I thought that was - kind of weird, so I stood up. The clock said seven in the morning, but the house was quiet. Usually my l-little sister was downstairs eating breakfast, getting ready for school, stuff like that.'

Zuko stared at her, unable to form conscious thought, let alone speech.

Her voice shook. 'I went out of my room. My sister Rochelle - she was downstairs. Sitting in her chair. Bleeding from - stab wounds all over her body. The f-fucker left her eyes open.' She was crying now. 'And my mum and dad - the same. They were all cold, they'd been there since late the night before. And that was when I noticed the blood on my f-fingers.'

She looked up at him. 'There was a pair of - scissors - on the floor of my room. He left me alive and let me think that I'd done it.' She breathed in sharply, a tear trickling down the bridge of her nose. 'I don't really remember anything after that. I think I must have blacked out. The neighbours heard me screaming and called the police. At first they thought I'd done it too, but then they noticed - there were bloody fingerprints on the kitchen sink. They were much bigger than my fingers. Bigger than my dad's, too.'

She buried her head in her knees and cried. Zuko tentatively put an arm around her. She didn't flinch away, but instead buried her face in his shoulder, like she did when she was having the nightmares.

He didn't ask her if that was what she dreamed of each night she screamed, didn't ask her how old her sister had been or if the officials on her world had ever caught the killer. He just let her cry.

She sniffed, and lifted her head up. 'You know how when something bad happens to someone, and then no one ever talks about it? Because they're scared that you'll go crazy and they don't want to break you?'

Zuko knew exactly how that felt. 'Yes,' he said.

She was silent for a long time after that. Then she sat up and leant against him.

'Sorry for crying on you.'

'Don't be sorry,' he said. 'It's just amazing that you kept that to yourself all that time.'

'She was seven,' Lisana murmured, and Zuko knew she was talking about her sister. '_Seven._'

She was silent for a while, then started talking again, almost in a monotone. 'I was in the psychiatric ward of the city hospital for a while. The police kept coming back to try and get a witness statement out of me, but I was virtually catatonic. Or so I've been told. I don't really remember. I think the doctors kept me pretty heavily medicated most of the time.' She took a deep breath in. 'I eventually came back, but it was really, really slow going. It was weeks before I could even have a conversation with somebody without going back into - wherever it was I went when I was quiet. It was then that I got told I was a ward of the state.'

Even though the phrase wasn't familiar to him, Zuko knew what she was saying. _Orphan. _

'First I was in a sanatorium, then I was sent to a - government welfare place. Basically a dumping ground for kids with no parents, where parents with no kids can go pick one out and take it home if they like it.' Lisana's voice was bitter. 'I think it was my psychologist who said I wasn't ready for school yet. I was pretty certain no one would adopt me - no one picks the teenagers when they can have the cute little babies. And, you know, they all want the pretty ones. Not the weird freaky girls who sit in their rooms and play computer games and don't talk to other people.'

She shifted, and then continued. 'And then one day I was in their sad excuse for a reading room, and this short lady with red hair came in. I was writing a story on my computer, I think, and she came over and asked me what I was writing and if she could read it. It was a little bit weird at first. She was a complete stranger. But then I got to talking to her, and I found out her name was Alison, and she came back a few more times and then she took me home with her.' She took another breath. 'It got better then. I went back to Kyokushin, started getting ready for my black belt grading. It took a while because I was kind of unfit, but I got there. I was due to go for it in a month, and then I ended up here.'

Zuko hugged her tightly. 'I'm so sorry,' he whispered. 'I gave you so much crap, I never left you alone.'

'You don't get it.' She hugged him back. 'I didn't want to be left alone.'

'You're so much stronger than I was.' Zuko stroked her hair. 'When you lost everything you got back up and tried again. When I lost everything I spent two years wallowing in self-pity. I didn't learn my lesson from when I was banished. I did exactly the same thing when Mai died.'

'Do you think she'd mind?' Lisana asked, and Zuko knew what she was referring to.

'I think she'd probably chase me around the palace and throw knives at me for a while,' he admitted. 'But then she'd be happy for me. At least, I hope so.' He changed the subject. 'I guess getting your black belt was important to you, if that was the first thing you tried to do once you'd gotten better.'

'Yeah.' Lisana curled into him, shivering a little. 'Once you get the belt you have to wait a while to actually wear it, because Shihan - my instructor - ordered them from Japan. Getting your black belt is really cool and awesome, because you get your name on it in Japanese script. And you get little gold bars on it instead of different coloured belt grades. My belt would have had one bar on it. If I'd passed.'

'How many bars did your instructor have?'

Lisana smiled. 'He had five. It took him something like twenty years to get them all. I wanted to be like that, one day. I'll show you some of my Kyokushin forms one time.'

'And then I'll rape physics by doing them with firebending,' Zuko said, eliciting a watery laugh from her.

'That would be cool to watch.' She lifted her head up and kissed him cheekily on the lips. 'Just make sure you do it with your shirt off.'

Zuko looked at her in astonishment, then felt his face grow warm. Lisana laughed. 'You should see the look on your face right now.'

'You - you just -'

'I just told you my deep dark blast from the past and then started hitting on you?' Lisana grinned. 'That's how I roll.'

'I'm going to get you for that,' Zuko replied, in a mock-ominous tone. He gripped her waist and started tickling her ribs.

'Aaaah! Arsehole! Cut that - oooh!' Lisana shrieked, wriggling and flailing at him with her arms. 'Arsebitch!'

She fell, lying on her back and looking up at him with hair hanging in her face along with an indignant expression. Zuko laughed, but the laugh quickly died away. His eyes were busy noticing the way her legs were parted in front of him, the black silk tight in all the right places.

He saw her eyes, very blue in the light of the moon, notice him noticing. Zuko was expecting a punch in the arm, a scowl of displeasure at the very least. Instead, her lips curved upwards in a smile, and she curled her legs around his back, pulling him down on top of her.

Her arms moved around his neck, and he kissed her, gently cupping the back of her head in his hand. She pulled her mouth away, frowning. 'You're doing it wrong,' she said, taking his hand and slipping it inside the front of her nightdress.

Zuko's head switched off at that point. He pressed his mouth to hers again, the fingers of his right hand tracing circles over her breast. His body was very conscious of the fact that he hadn't been with a woman for two years.

Without any conscious thought on his part one of his knees slid up between her legs, and he froze. He pushed himself up on his arms, looking down at her. Lisana frowned again. 'What is it?'

'We're in a _cemetery,_' he said.

She laughed. 'What's the matter, Graverobber? Can't get it up if the girl's breathing?' She must have seen the confusion on his face, because she corrected herself. 'Never mind. Movie quote.'

'You know what I mean.' Zuko sat up. 'This feels a bit sordid.'

'Don't worry about it.' Lisana got to her feet. 'We've both been drinking.'

She turned away from him, as if she was embarrassed. Zuko put his hand on her shoulder.

'Don't get me wrong,' he said. 'I really, really want to. But not here, or now. And I can't –'

'Get me pregnant,' she finished.

'Exactly.' Zuko noticed the gooseflesh on her arms and legs. 'You're cold. We should probably get back.'

They started walking back to the palace. At first Lisana stood awkwardly away from him, but then Zuko moved an arm around her waist and she relaxed, leaning into him.

He kissed the top of her head. 'It'll be your first time. I want it to be special for you.'

At that, she smiled. 'That's really sweet, Zuko.'

They reached the palace, walking inside. She didn't say anything more, but the silence between them was comfortable, not strained. When they eventually got to his room she spoke again.

'I guess you're right. It would be kind of sick and gross to fuck on top of dead people.'

Zuko made a face. 'I can tell the court ladies are going to love you,' he said, as she opened the door to her room.

'What?' She shrugged. 'It'd be like something out of a Cradle of Filth music video.' And with that, she went inside. 'Goodnight, Zuko.' She looked at him through the half-open door. 'I – love you.'

'I love you too.' He smiled at her, and she smiled back as she shut the door between them.


	36. Remember, Remember,the Fifth of November

Warning: there is physical stuff in this chapter between Zuko and Lisana. They don't have sex or anything, I just thought I'd better warn you. Plus I'm pretty sure you'd classify this as lime, not lemon ('lemon' on seems to be code for 'EXTREMELY WEIRD, KINKY AND DISTURBING, GUARANTEED TO GIVE YOU NIGHTMARES' with a lot of fics).

I am serious, fan fiction has totally scarred my brain. Especially some of the Halo lemon fics. Oh God…Cortana can't do that! She's a HOLOGRAM! And…what are those Elites doing in the background…AAAH! *mind melts*

Yeah. I won't go any further than that. Anyways, here is a chapter. Merry early Christmas.

* * *

Vivisection

Chapter 36 – Remember, Remember, the Fifth of November

* * *

I lay back in the chair, sun streaming over my face and body, and giggled. 'That tickles.'

Zuko was kissing my feet, paying careful attention to my toes. He had gotten to the second-last one on my right foot. He looked up at me, smiling slyly, and licked it. I laughed again. 'Stop that. That's my weird toe.'

'It hooks over the little one,' he observed, holding my foot up to his chin.

'Yes, I have bizarre mutant feet. Don't pick on me.'

Zuko bent his head down again, returning to my foot. I wondered if he'd done this for Mai. It felt ticklish but at the same time warm and electric, like his lips had the same effect on every part of my body.

'Don't you have anything better to do?' I asked.

'Not really.'

'Don't my feet smell?'

'Not really.' At that I kicked his shoulder - not really a kick, more like a clumsy nudge with my left foot. He looked up. 'What was that for?'

'You're supposed to say _no, your feet don't smell at all_,' I chastened him. 'Not _not really._'

'I like your feet,' he said, tracing the tops of my toes with his fingers.

'I didn't know you were into that, my Lord,' I teased him. 'Do you want me to do yours next?' I wrinkled my nose. 'No, on second thoughts, I'll retract that offer.'

'Why's that?' He'd moved on to the left foot now.

'You're male. Your feet _will _smell. And you probably have hobbit toes.'

'It's funny when you insult me with words I don't understand,' Zuko said, lifting his mouth off the arch of my foot. 'You seem to think I'll get offended.'

'It means your toes probably have little hairs growing out the top of them,' I said, smiling at the look on his face.

'No they don't! I'll prove it!' He started tugging off his boot, looking like he was having considerable trouble with it.

I giggled at that. 'Take it off.'

'So you have a foot fetish,' he said, giving me the crooked smile that had been on his face when he'd 'flirted' with me at the solstice dinner.

'Nope. My ex had ugly feet.' I stretched. 'And I don't really go in for fetishes. You?'

'You don't want to know,' he said, mocking me.

'Well, I already know you have a thing for my feet. I bet it's something weird and kinky. Necrophilia?' Zuko made a face at that. 'Knife play, maybe?'

'Pain doesn't do it for me.' He pointed to his scar.

'Shit, I'm sorry,' I said, feeling awkward and guilty.

'Don't worry about it,' he said, finally sliding the boot off and moving on to the other one. 'I'd prefer you saying things like that to people pointing and staring behind my back.'

His other boot went off, and I smiled. 'Mmm. Nice legs.' I could see to just above his knee. He had long legs like Jimi's, except his had the calf muscles of a runner, and his toes were completely free of little hairs.

'Same to you,' he said, leaning forward and kissing my knee. He moved up a little further, to the inside of my thigh. I remembered that I was wearing a dress and tensed.

'What is it?' He lifted his head up. 'If you want me to stop I will.'

I breathed out slowly. 'No. I - don't want you to stop.'

Zuko's mouth stayed there, just above my knee, but his fingers slid along my thigh. I remembered that I was wearing my red silk underwear today, and felt grateful.

His hand stopped at the top of my leg. 'Is this all right?' he asked.

Before I had a chance to reply we both heard a deep sound – a muffled _boom_ – resound from underneath the palace. I was inclined to ignore it, until the jolt through the floor which came a few seconds later.

'What the hell?' I straightened up.

Zuko's hand moved away from my thigh, dropping to his side as he stood up. 'What is it _now_?' he groaned.

It was then that it came again. The jolt after the next _boom _came more quickly, and made Zuko lose balance. He steadied himself.

'Does the Fire Nation _usually_ get earthquakes?' I asked.

His face tensed. 'I know that sound. It's explosives. Run.' He took my hand, pulling me out of the chair. Stumbling, I followed him out through his bedroom door.

'But it sounds like it's coming from under the palace!'

'Probably planted in the drains,' he said.

As Zuko ran and I kept up, we passed a couple of Fire Nation soldiers. Both looked panicked and both were heading in the opposite direction to us.

'Thank Agni, sir!' one of them panted, approaching Zuko. 'We were just coming to warn you! Bombs planted in the drains of the palace, sir!'

'We guessed,' he said.

'Fire Lord – you're not going to like this.' The second soldier spoke up. 'There was a woman spotted in the palace grounds, wearing a Blue Spirit mask.'

At that, Zuko's eyes widened.

'We think it's the same group of Earth Kingdom rebels who sent the assassin,' the soldier continued.

'Then I need to get Fire Lord Zuko out of here _now_,' I interrupted. 'Before they find out where he is. What's the quickest way out of here?'

The first soldier spoke again. 'I would suggest the drains, but – obviously that's out of the question. Make your way to the palace gates and we'll get our squad to meet you there.'

'Let's go,' Zuko said shortly, taking my hand again and pulling me down the corridor.

'_Wait,_' I said, trying to dig my feet in. 'Who or what is the Blue Spirit?'

'We don't have time!' he shouted.

'Tell me, or I'm going to sit in the middle of the fucking corridor,' I said, pulling my stubborn face.

'Fine, I'll tell you on the way to the gates!' We moved along the corridor again. 'The Blue Spirit is – _was_ – a hero to the Earth Kingdom. The scourge of the Fire Nation. He robbed soldiers and stuff.'

'So he hates you and everything you stand for,' I finished.

'Look, it's not the _real _Blue Spirit. So it doesn't matter anyway.' He glanced at me briefly.

'How do you know it's not the real Blue Spirit? Because it's a woman wearing the mask?' I asked.

'No. Well, yes, but that's not the main reason. I – was the Blue Spirit.'

'I'd ask why you attacked and stole from your own people,' I replied, 'but I'm getting the sense that now's not the time.'

'I'll tell the story later when my palace isn't being firebombed,' he said.

Soon we were outside, moving rapidly towards the gates.

'What I don't get is how they knew!' Zuko looked confused and angry at the same time. 'I never told anyone! My uncle knew, and Zhao guessed, but Zhao's dead!'

'You can figure that out when your people take out these assassins or whatever they are,' I replied.

We were at the gates, and the palace grounds were eerily quiet. There wasn't even a breeze – the paper lanterns were motionless. We were standing underneath a tree, which cast a still and oddly chilly shadow. 'I hope it doesn't take long for that squad to get here,' I said, my voice low. 'This is creepy. And we're sitting ducks out here.'

'We don't even know how many of them there are,' Zuko said.

'I don't think you need to worry about that. It's just me.'

It was a girl's voice, about my age I guessed from the sound of it. Both Zuko and I started and looked up into the tree.

A demonic-looking blue mask stared down at us from the dappled shadow of leaves. The eyeholes, although wide, showed no gleam of iris or pupil or skin beneath. They were completely dark, and that disturbed me. Were we being attacked by something with no face, that wore a mask to conceal the blackness? I told myself to stop being silly. The eyeholes were probably covered with thin black material, like the Guy Fawkes mask in _V for Vendetta. _

I really, really hoped that the similarity to V ended there.

The woman leapt down from the tree. She was wearing a close-fitting dark shirt and pants. Even her hands were gloved, as if to completely conceal skin or anything else that might suggest humanity.

'Come now, Zuko. Surely you know who I am?' She spread her hands. 'My voice can't have changed that much in two years. Or maybe I should call you Zuzu. Would that ring any bells?'

I heard Zuko's sharp intake of breath just before the woman raised her gloved hands to her head and lifted off her mask.

I guessed who she was even before Zuko's whisper of 'Azula.' She looked very like her brother, as if someone had crafted a female version of Zuko without the scar. She had the same gold eyes, the same dark hair and pale skin. She was beautiful, too, beautiful just like him, but her beauty seemed snakelike, somehow.

She looked at me. 'So this is the demon that guards Zuko's life in exchange for his soul.'

My tongue froze. I had no witty remarks at the ready.

Azula continued. 'I've been watching the two of you. I've seen him spar you, you know. You're not bad.'

I glared at her.

'Don't be so dramatic,' she laughed. 'Just take the compliment. It's rare that I give them away. Isn't that right, Zuko?'

'Is Father here too?' he asked.

'Of course not. He has no bending, remember? But rest assured, he hasn't forgotten his firstborn son.' Azula smiled, eyes narrowing. 'It's not fun, being locked away for two years. Banished, almost. I would have expected you of all people to understand that, brother.'

She flicked her eyes to me. 'I can see you want to fight me. You love him, don't you? Mai would be turning in her grave if she could see it. Not that I care, since she betrayed me too.'

'What's it to you?' I said. 'Why do you care?'

'Leave her out of this, Azula,' Zuko interrupted.

Azula ignored him and moved towards me. 'Zuzu here has been very nice to you in your little sparring sessions,' she said. 'You're only a match for him because he won't use firebending against you. But me?' She raised one hand, two fingers pointing forwards. 'I'm not as nice.'

I didn't hear the sound of lightning. How could I, when it hadn't hit the ground? I smelt burning ozone, tasted as well as saw searing white light, and by some miracle it didn't hit me.

Zuko had flung his arm out, and lightning played around his fist like an outline of his hand in pale fire. 'You forgot that I can redirect it,' he said, voice tight, and then the lightning burned through the air again.

Azula dodged it, bright fire streaming from her fingertips. Unlike Zuko's fire, hers was blue, and I stared at it, hypnotized. Zuko had the presence of mind to shove me out of the way, catching it with his own firebending. Blue and red combined, light searing into my retinae, and Azula stumbled backwards.

'You've been practising,' she said, adjusting her stance.

'You haven't,' he shot back, and his hands made loops of fire, casting them in her direction. He pushed her back again, and I saw rage tighten her features.

'Fire Lord!' It was the squad as promised, led by a soldier with a skull-like white mask on under his helmet. The others tossed spears, and the masked soldier let loose a gout of flame. Azula glanced towards them, and shot a blast of blue fire into the ground.

It pushed her into the air, and she landed on the wall, standing up straight. 'This has been fun, Zuzu.' She glared at him. 'Let's do it again some time. Just you, me and your girlfriend.'

Then she dropped off the wall, onto the other side.

'Open the gates! Follow her!' shouted the masked firebender.

'It's no good.' Zuko looked tired. 'They'll never get her in time.'

I stepped closer and hugged him. 'Thank you for keeping me from getting my internal organs fried.'

The Fire Nation soldiers were looking at us, expressions of curiosity and, for some, dawning understanding on their faces.

'It'll be all over the Fire Nation that we're together now,' Zuko said, sounding a little less depressed.

'I suppose they had to find out sometime,' I said, and kissed him. 'I'm completely useless as a bodyguard against her, aren't I? Except maybe as a meat-shield.'

'I can handle Azula on my own,' he said, kissing me back. 'I'm just glad she didn't manage to hurt you.'

Iroh was running towards us, looking panicked. As soon as he reached us we were both crushed in a hug. 'Are either of you hurt?'

'No, Uncle, we're fine,' Zuko said, sounding amused now.

'Tell your uncle he's squishing me,' I gasped.

Iroh let go. 'The lower levels of the palace have been damaged,' he said. 'The servants' quarters and the bathing area.'

'How long will _that _take to fix?' I grimaced. That sounded like a lot of structural engineering.

'Months, probably,' Iroh said.

'The servants can sleep in the guest quarters until we get it fixed,' Zuko said. 'They have to sleep somewhere, and no one uses those rooms.'

Iroh took Zuko by the hand. 'Let's go back to the palace, now that we know no one has been hurt.'

We walked back. 'Is she likely to roam through the city terrorizing innocents now?' I asked.

'No, Azula won't want to draw attention to herself.' Iroh sighed. 'We'll have to have the drains blocked off so no one else can get in that way.'

'Azula's just cost the Fire Nation shitloads of money, then,' I said.

'Money that I'm supposed to be in charge of,' Zuko muttered. 'I bet she's happy with herself right now.'

Iroh let go of Zuko. 'I will go and attend to the servants,' he said. 'Someone needs to see if any of them are injured.'

'Damn,' I said, as soon as he was gone. 'The bathrooms are destroyed. How am I going to wash?'

'You can use mine.' Zuko smiled crookedly at me. 'I'll try not to walk in on you.'

'Better not.' I looked up at him. 'Or my birthday punches will consist of me punching you, not the other way around.'

'It's your birthday?' He looked ashamed, and a little guilty. 'You never told me.'

'It's okay,' I said, reaching up and patting him on the head. 'You have just over a week to freak out and get me something at the last minute.'

'When is it?' he asked me.

'In nine days.'

'What do you want me to get you?' He put his palm to his forehead. 'Sorry. I'm horrible at getting presents for girls. I did the same thing to Mai, and we were _married._'

'I'll tell you when we get up to your room,' I said, blushing slightly. He noticed, and his eyebrow raised, but he didn't say anything.

As soon as we were up there he shut the door behind him and folded his arms. 'Do tell.'

'I was actually thinking about giving _you_ something on my birthday,' I said, my face reddening and making like a traffic light.

He looked puzzled. 'What?'

I sighed. 'Well,' I said, walking up to him and slipping my arms around his waist, 'I'm not sure if you'd want it. I'm pretty sure it's still intact, even though I almost gave it to somebody else a couple of years ago. I've had it with me all my life, don't want it any more, I actually really hope you want it because I'd really like you to have it.'

He looked clueless for a few more seconds, and then it clicked. He kissed me hard on the mouth, then pulled away.

'You just made me very, very happy,' he said.

I laughed and hugged him tightly. 'Not here, though. I don't want Azula bombing your palace in the middle of my birthday night.'

'What about –' he blushed, which was cute, 'you possibly getting pregnant?'

I waved my hand. 'I'll figure it out. There are concubines here, they must do it somehow.'

Zuko lifted me up and swung me in a circle, putting me back on the ground again. 'Just tell me if there's anything you want me to do for you. Anything at all, and I'll do it.'

'Will you wear a dress and be a pretty little girl?' I joked.

'Whatever turns you on.' He smiled, and I could see him drifting off into fantasy land.

I waved a hand in front of his face. 'Hello, Fire Lord Zuko? This is Houston. Anyone at home in there?'

He kissed me again, and lay down on his bed, still with the completely-out-of-it look on his face.

I sighed. 'I get it. I'm going to go and eat something, then. Since your brain is going to be switched off for the rest of the day.'

Zuko didn't even say anything, just stared at the ceiling with an empty expression of happiness on his face. I smiled to myself and left the room.


	37. While Your Lips Are Still Red

Damn. I need some new music to write to. I can't write this story to 30 Seconds To Mars, I'm doing that for my other fanfic.

Aargh, I feel rotten for writing this. I like Azula, as nutso as she is. She's a really well-written and complex character, and I feel bad for doing this to her. But it seemed like a good plot idea.

Another song title for this chapter. I keep meaning to see the film Nightwish wrote it for, but never seem to have the time. It seems to fit this chapter though, in mood at least - it's got the same air of regret about it.

* * *

Vivisection

Chapter 37 - While Your Lips Are Still Red

* * *

Ozai smiled at her condescendingly. 'I heard about what happened at the palace yesterday.'

'Everything went according to plan, Father,' Azula replied, keeping her face carefully expressionless as she entered the room.

'Indeed. I don't recall an almost-defeat from Zuko as being part of the plan.' Ozai settled back in his chair. 'I think you might be losing your touch.'

Azula forced herself not to respond. She knew what he was doing, of course she did. He was trying to rob her of her ability to think clearly, trying to gain an advantage over her by goading and belittling her. It was what she would do, if she were in his position.

She also knew that, were she in his position, her secondary aim would be assertion - checking that she was still the one in command by observing her inferior's reaction to the taunts.

Azula did what she knew would gratify him. 'I apologise, Father.' She bowed. 'I admit that I did allow my form to slacken. However, I did it for a reason.'

'And why was that?'

'I wished to lull him into a false sense of security,' Azula lied. 'The more off-guard he is when we attack next, the better.'

To her relief, Ozai looked convinced. 'In that case, well done. I assume it took you some time to evade his soldiers?'

'Yes.' Azula nodded.

In actual fact, she had been the one caught off guard. She hadn't expected Zuko to have developed his firebending so much since the day of the comet two years ago. Then, they had been equally matched, which she had assumed was purely due to the comet rather than any increase in skill on Zuko's part.

Azula tried not to be too hard on herself. After all, she had expected to best him with ease, perhaps injuring him rather than killing him, in preparation for the secondary stage of the plan. She hadn't expected any improvement in her brother's firebending skill, and so she'd come close to losing by underestimating her opponent. It was a mistake Azula resolved not to make a second time. She had always been better than Zuko at everything since childhood, and she certainly didn't expect that to have changed over only two years.

Everything except how to behave around people without terrifying them out of their skins, that was. Even Zuko, with his crippled social skills, was capable of holding onto a relationship without causing the other party to run in fright. That made Azula depressed.

'I'm going out tonight, Father. I'll be back quite late.'

Ozai didn't say anything, just waved his hand in dismissal. That depressed Azula even more. She left the room, walking down the stairs through the dense, smoky air of the tavern, and went outside.

She had no idea what she was going to do for however many hours. She just knew she couldn't stomach being alone in that room with her father for another long, awkward night.

The streets of the Fire Nation capital city were lit with lanterns. It was quite pretty - Azula had never gotten the chance to see it. She had had no desire to, and in any case, a Fire Nation princess was sure to be a target out here for anyone with a grudge against the royal family.

No one knew who she was now, though. And even if they did, she doubted they would care.

The streets were filled with people, people laughing, parents with children. For a moment, Azula had the highly uncharacteristic wish that she was one of them. The thought surprised her so much that it stopped her in her tracks, and she stood still, her thoughts still and loud inside her head amongst a sea of people.

She realised that the uncharacteristic wish had been a desire to be normal, and happy. Azula had never wanted to be normal. She had always been better than normal.

A memory drifted into her train of thought - not one of the painful memories, but a memory from a little further back. Azula found herself remembering the beach party on Ember Island, and instead of feeling amusement at the teenagers whose house they'd destroyed as she usually did, she felt only sadness.

She could pretend to be one of these people, but eventually they would recognise her as an intruder, an interloper who didn't know how to be one of them.

A young man whose face looked oddly familiar, his arm around the waist of a pretty girl, was walking in her direction. Azula searched her fragmented memory for his face, trying to place it. To her surprise she realised it was the boy from the beach party, the one who'd kissed her.

Her first kiss. Azula remembered the smell of smoke from the lanterns, the sound of people laughing and talking coming from inside the house, the cool night air and the warmth of him. She wasn't so naïve as to say she'd been in love. But it had felt - nice. It felt strange to use that word. Azula had never really cared for anything nice.

The boy - Chad - glanced at her, and for a moment Azula thought he had recognised her. The eyes lit in recognition, and he frowned, pausing in his stride for a moment, as if trying to place her face in his mind like she had just done with his. It would only have been a few seconds that he spent standing there, but to Azula it seemed much longer.

Then the girl at his side tugged on his arm, laughing, saying something meaningless, and Chad turned back to her, smiling in return.

Azula watched them walk away, her eyes feeling oddly warm. She blinked angrily, harshly a couple of times. Doubtless it was the smoke in the air, because she had never cried, not even as a small child.


	38. She Is My Sin

There is a lemon coming soon, but it's not in this chapter. I need to work up the courage to write it. I keep scripting versions of it in my head, but they never turn out quite right. More than anything I want to avoid it turning into romance novel mush - the sort of thing that Faye in the web comic Questionable Content refers to so aptly as 'girl-porn.'

This chapter is me slowly getting my feet wet, so to speak - a.k.a. a lime. I agree that limes are not as good as lemons. For one thing, there are more cakes containing lemons. But I digress.

Google the lyrics to the Nightwish song 'She Is My Sin.' It's a dark and kind of sexy song - listen to it, and you'll see what I mean. Don't worry, the long-awaited lemon will be here soon. It would be far too cruel to poor Zuko to make him wait any longer.

* * *

Vivisection

Chapter 38 - She Is My Sin

* * *

The eyes of everyone in the room were fixed on the two of them.

Strangely, Zuko didn't feel self-conscious. If anything, the attention they were getting was gratifying. Everyone who was staring at him was also staring at the girl on his arm.

He had ordered the state dinner pushed back a day - originally it had been scheduled for Lisana's birthday, but these things tended to last well into the early hours of the morning. And Zuko would be otherwise occupied on that particular night.

He smiled to himself, glancing at Lisana. She looked up at him and smiled back, thankfully not guessing what he was thinking.

'My feet are killing me,' she whispered. 'How much longer do we have to be here?'

Zuko kissed her lightly on the cheek, a chaste kiss suitable for the public eye. 'Ten minutes at most, I promise. We have to go to bed early tonight, and to do that we'll have to leave soon.'

'Why are we going to bed early?' she asked, the corner of her mouth lifting in a smile. 'Is it because you're planning on keeping me awake all tomorrow night?'

'No, it's because we're going on a trip,' he said.

Lisana sighed, rolling her eyes. 'I know, I know. We're going on some big mysterious trip, which I only know about because I bugged you, and you won't tell me where it is we're going.'

'I'll make it five minutes, then,' Zuko replied, changing the subject. 'Five minutes and we leave.'

Lisana brightened. 'Deal.'

Zuko knew the real reason that Lisana was keen to leave. As a bodyguard, her position had been one of no concern to the court, and as such, they had left her alone except for the occasional flash of speculation.

But now she was the Fire Lord's significant other. All the noble families in the Fire Nation with daughters his age - as well as some considerably younger or older than him - had been trying to fill the spot Mai had left for two years. And Lisana was in that coveted spot, to their eyes seemingly without any effort at all.

Quite a few of the courtiers didn't like her. Although Lisana used the same turns of speech they did, said nothing to give away that she had no noble blood in her whatsoever and was in fact from another world, she wasn't one of them and never would be. Mai's father had long been in the political upper echelon of the Fire Nation, so the nobility had accepted her. But Lisana had been born a commoner, which was apparently something the nobility could tell just by looking down their noses at her.

If he was paying attention, Zuko occasionally caught glances directed first at Lisana and then at him, questioning glances, as if those who were looking at him were wondering what on earth had possessed him to choose her.

The typical political bootlicking was going on constantly. Every so often a well-dressed lady or married couple with high social and political standing in the Fire Nation would initiate conversation with Lisana. She tended to smile and nod, with a perpetually bewildered expression on her face, as if she was wondering why all these people were paying such close attention to her.

It was wearing down on Zuko too. Every puzzled gaze that his arm around Lisana's waist drew eroded away a little of his patience.

Zuko decided it wouldn't do to lose his temper in the middle of a room full of people, and leant down, whispering in Lisana's ear. 'Screw it,' he muttered. 'Fuck five minutes. We're going now.'

'Well said, good sir,' she agreed, moving her stride to match his as they politely excused themselves past small groups of people.

As soon as the door to the room was shut behind them Zuko let out a breath. 'Thank Agni for that,' he exclaimed.

'Is that what it's going to be like all the time?' Lisana looked depressed. 'All those people, staring at me and whispering behind their hands?'

'It won't be that way forever,' Zuko assured her. 'They'll get bored at some point and move on to something else. One of the ladies will get caught sleeping with her husband's captain of the guard.'

'God. It's like high school all over again. Here's hoping no one throws fruit at me.' Lisana breathed out.

'If you ask me, that's a good thing.'

Lisana elbowed him. 'What are you, braindead? In what universe is having apples thrown at my head by dickhead high-school boys a good thing?'

'If they were throwing apples at you, they weren't trying to have their way with you,' Zuko pointed out.

Lisana laughed and patted the top of his head. 'Aww, that's so cute. You talk like a sixty-year-old.'

'Thanks for comparing me to an old person,' Zuko complained.

Lisana hugged him. 'Let's go to bed, then. So I can be all refreshed and stuff for your big mystery trip. That's an old people thing, isn't it? Going to bed early?'

They walked up to Zuko's room, and Zuko shut the door. Lisana collapsed on his bed, arms spread out either side of her body.

'Gnngh,' she moaned. 'Feet hurt.'

'I can kiss them better if you'd like,' Zuko teased, sitting at the edge of the bed. He took one of her legs into his lap and slid off her shoe.

Lisana wriggled her bare toes at him. 'You know how you want to give me a foot massage?'

'Your wish is my command.' He lifted her other leg, holding it under the knee, and placed her foot in his lap. He moved his thumb in circles on the bottom of her right foot, and she sighed.

Zuko's eyes slid up her leg and over her body. She was wearing a tight-fitting red silk dress, not the same outfit she'd worn to the solstice dinner. The skirt hung loosely past her upper thighs, but drew attention to the shape of everything else. Zuko traced the outline of her breasts and hips with his eyes.

'I have to say,' he said, almost thinking out loud, 'I could get used to seeing you like this.'

'What?' Lisana opened her eyes, which had fluttered shut, and levered herself into a sitting position with one arm.

'Lying on my bed,' he replied.

And with that, Lisana giggled.

'What's so funny?' he demanded.

'Stop it, that tickles!' she squealed. Zuko looked down and noticed that his thumb was brushing the padded skin beneath her toes.

On a whim, he pressed his fingers into her instep, tickling her. Lisana giggled again, her leg jerking away from him. Zuko held onto her leg, grasping it just above the knee, reaching for her ribs with his other hand. He made contact, and started digging in his fingertips there.

Lisana shrieked and kicked her legs, her body propelling itself fully upright. She shoved Zuko off her, and he fell on his back onto the bed.

'Ha! I win!' she exclaimed.

That was when Zuko took the opportunity to grasp her by the waist, pulling her down on top of him. 'Or not,' he replied.

Most of his brain functions stopped working then. She had fallen clumsily on top of him after he'd grabbed her, her legs parting either side of him. Her hair had mostly fallen out of its careful arrangement by now, her breasts pressing warm and firm against his chest.

She looked down at him, a little surprised, and then smiled cheekily. 'Well, I could get used to this,' she replied.

'What?' Zuko asked, although he suspected he already knew the answer.

'Lying on top of you,' she replied, as if it was obvious.

Zuko pulled her head down and pressed his lips against hers. Lisana parted her lips almost instantly, and Zuko tasted the smooth velvet inside of her mouth. His hands went again to her hips, and with the absence of conscious thought slid up her ribs to cup her breasts.

Lisana lifted her head at that, and Zuko stopped, thinking he'd gone too far. But she smiled again, eyes focused on him. 'Mmm,' she said, pressing her hips down onto him. 'Keep doing that.'

Zuko was only too happy to oblige. The heavy roundness of her in his hands awoke a deep aching in him. The aching traversed his body, tightening his lower belly. One of his hands slid over her shoulder, fingers temporarily brushing against her neck, before trailing over her back and eventually down to her thigh. His fingertips traced circles on the back of her leg. The dress had helpfully slid up past her knees, giving him easier access.

Lisana lifted herself off him, holding herself up on her arms, and looked down at him thoughtfully. She took his left hand in hers, the one that was still paying careful attention to her breast. Zuko made a disappointed noise, and she laughed, dropping his hand and reaching her own behind her back.

He wasn't sure what she was doing until she muttered, 'Damn clasp,' and pulled a thin black strap down one shoulder.

'I approve of that,' Zuko said, slipping his hand past the strap. Before he could find what he was looking for, Lisana frowned.

'I'm not done yet,' she said, taking hold of the right hand that was resting on her thigh. Before Zuko could wonder what she was doing, his hand had been placed for him firmly between her legs, inside the silk skirt.

'Are you sure you want to -' he began, and she shook her head, the smile back on her lips.

'_That's _waiting until tomorrow night,' she said. 'I just want you to start where you left off when Azula started blowing up the palace.'

Zuko smiled, and pulled his left hand away from her shoulder. He placed on the small of her back while his right hand slipped inside her underwear.

He could tell when her eyes shut and she breathed in, a smile on her face, that her boyfriend, among his other failings, hadn't known how to pleasure a woman.

'I'm sorry,' he said, just in case. 'I haven't done this in a while.'

'That feels fucking amazing,' she whispered, eyes fluttering open.

Zuko's thumb applied gentle pressure to her clitoris, his other hand steadying her hips. She let out a little gasp, breathing faster now.

Zuko couldn't help but feel pleased with himself as she clasped his hips with her knees, small incoherent noises coming from her mouth. The fact that he now had a painful erection didn't even serve as a distraction. Part of him wanted very much to keep going, but the rest of him fired the muscle groups that pulled his hand away.

Her eyes opened again, and she glared at him.

Zuko kissed her on the lips before she could say anything. 'Have you ever had an orgasm before?' he asked her.

'What's that got to do with anything?' She looked irritated, and mostly pissed off.

'I just want to know.'

Lisana's face flushed. 'My boyfriend - when we were going out, that is - didn't really know how to -'

'You want to give me your virginity tomorrow night,' Zuko said, looking up at her. 'I'll give you _this.' _He slipped his hand in between her thighs, thumb finding her clitoris without too much trouble, doing just enough to induce a tensing in the muscles of her belly against his wrist. He pulled his hand away again, and she sighed in frustration. 'You're mean.'

Zuko lifted her off him, sitting up. Lisana stood up, straightening her dress. 'I guess I'd better go to sleep, then,' she said, looking at him. 'It's not like I have anything better to do.'

'Goodnight. I love you,' he said, as she opened the door to her room.

Lisana paused. 'I love you too,' she replied, shutting the door behind her.

Zuko lay down on his bed, wondering how he was supposed to sleep. He was just as frustrated as she was, if not more.

Thinking of tomorrow night didn't help diminish it, either. If anything, it made it worse.


	39. Walking In The Air

Guess what I have for you today, my faithful readers?

Oh, come on, guess. You're no fun.

All right, I'll give you a clue. It's yellow. It's yellow and you can make totally awesome poppyseed cake with it.

Damn, you're boring. Okay, I'll tell you. It's…..*drum rolls*…..

A lemon!

Yeah, anyone who doesn't like lemons, don't read this chapter. Although that's a shame, because lemons are tasty. In more ways than one.

I'm hoping this is actually good. You have no idea how hard it is for me to update with a sex scene between my character and someone that I have a little bit of a nerdy crush on. Or maybe you do.

Anyways, if it's badly written or whatever do tell me. I don't write this kind of stuff very often. And when I do, it _never _gets shown to other people.

And I made BLEACH references! Because Urahara fuckin' rocks.

Warning: this is a _really _long chapter. Word Count says it's clocking in at over five thousand. (OVER FIVE THOUSAND!) I couldn't see any way to break it up without detracting from the story.

* * *

Vivisection

Chapter 39 - Walking In The Air

* * *

For once, Zuko didn't have to knock on my door to wake me up. I'd been awake for hours, restless. I was eighteen today. At home I'd be considered an adult now. Here - I'd learnt that the age of adulthood was sixteen. It wasn't even disappointing that my eighteenth birthday wasn't a milestone in this place. I had too much on my mind.

I'd spent a long time trying to decide what to wear, and had eventually settled on a close-fitting black skirt, my boots, and a red cloak. I had no idea whether to dress for warm or cold weather, but decided to be on the safe side.

There was a knock at my door, and I opened it. Zuko was dressed too, in a loose black shirt which hung open at the throat, the style a little like my karate gi, and matching dark pants. The ensemble reminded me a little of the Soul Reapers in BLEACH, and I smiled, remembering that anime didn't exist here.

'Happy birthday,' he said, pulling me into a hug and kissing me on the lips.

I shoved him away. 'Screw that. Tell me where we're going.'

He smiled in amusement. 'You've been there before.'

'Don't care, want info, gimme now.' I folded my arms across my chest.

'No. You don't find out until we get there.' He slipped an arm around my waist, leading me out of the room. 'Your things are already down there. I got someone to take them over last night.'

'Um…you got someone to take the bag I packed?' I looked at him.

'Is that bad?' He looked puzzled.

I felt my face grow warm. 'No, it's no big deal. Let's go.'

The puzzled look on his face stayed there, but he didn't say anything. We left the palace. It was eerily silent. I wasn't sure what time it was, exactly - there were no clocks here - but the sun was only just beginning to rise, the sky tinged pale pinkish-purple in the east. Strangely enough, there was a morning fog, thin and insipid but still there. I'd never seen any evidence of cold weather in the Fire Nation, not even so much as an overcast day.

'I hope you don't mind walking,' he said. 'We're going to the harbour.'

'I'm surprised you're allowed to walk through the city without a team of soldiers guarding you,' I said, letting an accusing tone enter my voice. 'You know, since your psychotic sister is on the loose, and we both know that I'd be absolutely no help if she challenged you to a fight out here.'

'Relax,' Zuko said, tightening his arm around my waist. 'I'm not that stupid.'

'Oh really?' I shot him a condescending look. 'I don't see any backup.'

'Don't point,' Zuko said, speaking in a low voice but smiling as if making casual conversation. 'Anyone who's watching will see where they are. See that big red building?'

'The one on the left?' I laughed and kissed him on the cheek, in keeping with the charade.

'There's a squad of Yu Yan archers on the roof. You can't really see them because of the fog.'

I took my glasses off, wiping them on a corner of the cloak. 'Hopefully at least one of them knows how to take a headshot,' I grumbled, slipping them back on.

'In the words of a certain Fire Nation admiral,' Zuko said, his voice oddly serious, 'they can pin a fly to a tree from a hundred yards away without killing it.'

I was glad when we finally reached the harbour. The city was just as creepily silent as the palace had been, and the fog seemed oddly thicker there. It was a horror movie murder scene waiting to happen.

To my relief, there was about twenty Fire Nation soldiers standing in front of a ship. The ship itself dwarfed them - it looked like it was steam-powered, probably a coal-burner. _Real eco-friendly, _I thought to myself. It appeared to be made entirely out of metal, and I wondered how they dealt with the obvious problem of rust.

The walkway was already lowered, and we moved up it. The interior of the ship was unexpectedly warm, torches burning in brackets every few metres along the walls. I deduced that there was probably air vents placed strategically near them somehow, otherwise we would have both been choking with all the smoke.

'So you had this huge ship set up just for the two of us?' I asked him.

Zuko nodded.

'You realise we could have taken something that was a little, you know, _smaller,_' I said. 'That needed less non-renewable energy sources to make it move.'

Zuko shrugged. 'It's your birthday,' he said, as if it should have been obvious. 'I could have gotten a canoe if I'd wanted to, yes. But this is the nicest ship in my fleet. And the fastest.'

He led me into a room at the end of the hallway we were in, opening the door. 'This part's the control room. You can see the ocean from here.'

I moved towards the viewing window at the front. I glanced only briefly at the water before moving my eyes to the controls. There were a lot of glass-plated meters, little needles all resting at zero. Various levers and gears were installed beneath them.

'I don't get it.'

'What?' he asked.

'Your nation,' I said, turning to face him, 'has invented tanks, yes?' Zuko nodded. 'You've got explosives,' I continued, ticking off my fingers. 'Drills. I know because I saw some workers with them, taking them to the damaged part of the palace. You've got frickin' _steamboats,_ for God's sake. And yet…no one's invented timekeeping devices, or even a method for heating running water.'

'What's your point?' he asked. 'Is the criticism of my country going somewhere?' He leaned forward and pulled one of the levers, keeping an eye on the meter above it.

'My point is,' I said, exasperated, '_what the fuck?_'

Zuko laughed at that, and kissed me. 'Do you want tea?'

I nodded. 'Can I drive?' I gestured at the ship's control board.

'You don't need to touch anything,' he said. 'It's set to go due west. We'll be there in a couple of hours.'

'We couldn't possibly be going to Ember Island, could we?' I asked, feigning curiosity. 'I mean, it's the only place that's separated from the Fire Nation by ocean that I've been to before.'

Zuko glared at me. 'Trust you to ruin it by guessing right.' He left the room, and was gone for several minutes.

I sighed, leaning against the control board. I hoped I'd have time to get into my bag sometime soon.

Man, it had been awkward. I had finally worked up the courage to ask Qing yesterday afternoon how the palace concubines managed to prevent themselves from falling pregnant. I'd been even more embarrassed when she'd just explained it to me matter-of-factly. Obviously sex before marriage wasn't taboo in the Fire Nation by any means.

She had even gone and gotten the thing for me, much to my shame. I remembered the little plant she'd put into my hand, a bunch of dried stems with tiny purple flowers on them. I'd looked at her, puzzled. 'How do I use it?'

'Just make sure you chew it - and swallow - at least three hours, but no more than twenty-four, beforehand,' Qing had said. 'Otherwise it won't work.'

That little plant had been carefully wrapped in a silk pouch and stored in the bottom of my bag, which was now apparently on Ember Island. Shit. Oh well, hopefully I'd have time to get to it at some point.

Zuko opened the door again, carrying two cups of tea on a tray. 'It's Uncle's ginseng tea,' he said. 'I know you like it.'

I took the cup off him and breathed in the steam coming off the hot liquid. Taking a sip, I felt it warm my throat and belly.

'I just thought I ought to let you know,' Zuko said after a while. 'Those workers weren't repairing the palace foundation.'

'What were they doing, then?' I asked.

'Well, they were kind of working on your birthday present,' Zuko said, looking down at me. 'I wanted to keep it as a surprise for you until we got back, but I noticed you don't seem to like surprises.'

I waved my hand impatiently. 'What is it?' I was curious, despite myself.

'You don't want a nation that's just come out of a hundred-year-long war to learn things that'd let them create super weapons,' Zuko said. 'That's fair enough. But I know you miss science. So I -' He had the grace to look embarrassed. 'I sort of commissioned a research laboratory for you.'

I stared at him, dumbfounded.

'I actually started it before I found out what day your birthday was.' He was talking faster now. 'I'm really sorry, I didn't know you wouldn't like it! Anyway, it's just about done, and I paid for a bunch of fancy glass stuff, and I got them to install a fume hood, whatever that is -'

'You made me a chemistry lab?' I was still a little shellshocked.

Zuko looked miserable. 'You can hit me if you want. Or give it to the university. I don't care, as long as you're happy.'

I placed my cup of tea down on the control board, and promptly jumped on him. My arms went around his waist in a hug, actually not so much a hug as an anaconda death grip, and he breathed out sharply.

'You - are - so - awesome!' I exclaimed. 'Hugglesaurus! Hugglesaurus times one million billion!' I squealed, and kissed him on the nose. Zuko looked very happy then. He hugged me back.

I let him go, sensing that I was crushing his air supply. 'Sorry,' I said. 'I just wanted to say that you are the best person in the universe and you are cooler than Optimus Prime and the Master Chief and the Arbiter and Urahara Kisuke and Chuck Norris all rolled into one. And I love you very much.'

'I love you too,' Zuko said, looking more amused than anything else.

I picked up my tea and sipped at it again, a ridiculous grin plastered to my face. Zuko was smiling back at me. I went into some kind of crazy spiel about the stuff I would do with my new lab, and could I commission anything extra, and a whole bunch of other shit, but deep down I knew that anything I said didn't really matter. Zuko knew I was happy, and I knew that made him happy. We knew that kind of stuff without needing to say anything. I'd thought Jimi and I shared that. In hindsight I knew that he'd been smiling and telling me what I wanted to hear when he was disposed to like me, and picking stupid arguments about nothing when he wasn't.

I slipped my fingers into Zuko's hand, and he squeezed them gently.

* * *

I looked around the house, more than a little surprised and amazed. 'It's actually - clean,' I said in awe. 'And there's new furniture. And it doesn't smell like old people.'

Zuko snorted. 'That's exactly what I said it smelt like when I was here a couple of years ago.'

'Is my stuff upstairs?' I asked him, trying not to sound too casual.

'Yes. It should be in the bedroom.'

I walked up the stairs, trying not to give anything away. We'd been on the beach for a few hours after we'd landed on the island. I'd been anxious to locate my bag, but the sight of Zuko tugging on my hand, wanting me to walk with him on the shoreline, had been enough to catch me off guard. It was the middle of the day by then, and quite warm, so we'd both gone swimming. I remembered taking off most of my clothes, down to underwear and a light undershirt, and Zuko wearing only his pants. We'd done the typical immature splashing-each-other thing, Zuko had dunked me, I'd dunked him in retaliation, and we'd gotten out of the water.

It was then that his eyes had lingered on my body, my clothing - or lack thereof - plastered to my skin with salt water. He'd looked me in the face, both eyes, scarred and unscarred, alight with lust, and I'd known he was picturing doing naughty things to me on the sand.

And God - I'd wanted him to.

I forced my thoughts away from the memory. It was late afternoon, and if I wanted the little purple plant to have any chance of working I had to take it now.

I went into the room Zuko and I had shared the last time we were here, and did a double take.

Someone had gone to the trouble of completely redoing this room. The walls were typical Fire Nation red now instead of the faded salmon colour they'd been before. The curtains had been replaced, along with the carpet, which was now thick and soft beneath my bare toes. And - the bed had been replaced. It was similar to the one I'd slept in back when I'd had Azula's old room, with red curtains and sheets and about seven pillows.

I blushed madly, like an idiot, and distracted myself by delving for my bag, at the foot of the bed. I found the little pouch, pulled out the purple plant, and wondered how much of it I needed to take.

_Better safe than preggers, _I thought, sticking the whole lot in my mouth. I'd expected nasty woody plant taste, but instead I was met with a pleasant flavour like rosemary but not anywhere near as strong. I chewed it, swallowed with some difficulty, and went downstairs.

Zuko was sitting on the couch, and looked at me strangely as I entered. 'What were you doing up there?' he asked.

'Oh, nothing,' I said breezily.

He seemed to take my word for it. 'I meant to ask you if you wanted me to hire any research people for you,' he said.

'What?'

'You know, lab assistants and stuff.'

I shook my head. 'No. I like to do stuff myself. Even the boring stuff like distilling water. It means you never take anything you use for granted, and you never waste chemicals.' I sat down on the couch next to him, and we talked for a while, about all kinds of stuff. He told me about his time in the Earth Kingdom as the Blue Spirit, and I told him why I loved chemistry, and watched his eyes glaze over when I described the chemical structure of _N_-bromosuccinimide and its properties.

'I'll teach you one time,' I said. 'So you don't have to look blank every time I go into Chem land. Have you people come up with the concept of the atom yet?'

He shook his head, looking more than a little amused. I changed the topic, and we talked about music. Zuko told me about something called a sumki horn which his uncle had tried to get him to play at some point, and I told him that I'd hoped to someday become a singer, in a metal band like Nightwish.

I told him the storylines of my favourite movies, and explained the rudiments of gaming, and why I liked Halo and BioShock so much.

'My world must seem so backward to you,' Zuko said, looking at me in wonder. 'It's like you're a more advanced species than me.'

'Nope, I'm one hundred percent human,' I joked. 'Although maybe I am genetically different to you. The bending thing - some people can do it and others can't, right?'

He nodded, and I went on. 'That means it's got to be a genetic thing. I'm not going to try and explain genetic science to you, because that'd take way too long and I don't know enough about it. But the basic idea is that your body is made up of tiny components called cells, and in the centre of each cell there's a genetic code, made of a chemical called DNA. The code is the same in every cell of your body, and basically that code gives each cell instructions. Like how to grow, what colour to be, what jobs to do. For example, the job of a red blood cell is to carry oxygen around your body.'

He seemed to understand that, at least. I continued. 'Everyone has different genetic codes. Essentially, your genetic code determines what you look like, how tall you are, the rate at which you heal, whether you bruise easily -'

'And whether or not you can bend,' Zuko finished for me.

'Exactly.' I smiled. 'When scientists where I come from looked at the human genetic code, they found that a whole bunch of it seemed to be unnecessary and pointless. They called it junk DNA, because it didn't seem to do anything useful like give instructions to cells. It just sat there. Maybe the junk DNA is what makes up stuff like bending here.'

'It's kind of late.' Zuko turned to look at the window. 'Do you want to eat now?'

'Sure.' Inside, I was nervous. The sun was just disappearing below the rim of the horizon. Had it been three hours yet? It must have been. It could only have been four or five in the afternoon by the time I took the plant.

Zuko came back into the room. 'I have sushi. And Uncle tried making this for you after you told him about muffins. I don't know if it worked or not.' He handed me something which looked and felt like a fruit muffin.

My eyes widened. 'Iroh tried making a muffin for me? That's so sweet.'

'He likes you,' Zuko told me. 'He thinks you saved me. I was so depressed all the time, before I met you.'

I smiled at him. 'Your uncle is great. And so are you.' I took a bite of the muffin.

It was good, fluffy like cake was supposed to be. It tasted kind of like apples. I handed it to Zuko. 'Have some.'

He obliged, passing me the sushi at the same time. When I'd finished my food I felt more nervous than ever. Neither of us had said anything on the topic of sex all day, and I wasn't sure how it was going to play out. I felt like a chess player who'd been seated blindfold in front of a game.

'I'm going to go and wash,' I blurted out, heading into the laundry to heat myself some water. I stood against the wall in there, freaking out just a little. The water was done far too quickly for my liking, and I carried it upstairs bucket by bucket.

I stood in the bathroom, shutting the door behind me, and pulled my clothes off. The things I'd worn swimming were stiff with salt. I looked down at myself, naked, and wondered if I was good enough for him, if he'd like seeing me like this.

_Don't think too much, _I told myself firmly, and stepped into the hot water. I washed myself slowly, trying to let the warmth unravel the tension in my body. Would it hurt this time around? I didn't know, but tried to relax and not think about it, which was easier said than done.

I soaped my hair, rinsed it out and got out of the water, towelling myself dry. I managed to get my hair almost dry, but still a little damp. I went to my bag, taking out the dress I'd gotten.

I hadn't wanted white. That seemed too clichéd and symbolic. Instead I'd chosen a deep cherry red colour. It had shoulder straps and would come down to my knees when it was on. I reached further into my bag, pulling out my underwear, and blanched. I couldn't do this, couldn't do it. Then I remembered that Zuko was down there waiting for me. That snapped me out of it, and I dressed. Maybe buying fancy underwear had been going a little too far. It fit me surprisingly well, black silk with what looked like red lace trim. I pulled the red dress over the top. I'd taken so long wool-gathering that my hair was completely dry now. I brushed it out with my fingers, deciding to keep it long and loose.

I walked downstairs, and Zuko, sitting on the couch, stood up. His eyes widened when he saw me.

'Do I look all right?' I asked him.

'You look more than all right.' He walked over to me and took me into his arms, and I felt very small and fragile next to him.

'Do you still want to do this?' he asked.

I swallowed. 'Yes.'

Zuko pressed me closer to him, holding me gently as if I were made of glass. 'I love you,' he said. 'I won't hurt you.'

Strangely, that made my eyes start tearing up. 'I - I trust you,' I said, my voice surprisingly steady.

With that, Zuko leant down and kissed me on the lips. It was different now, because I knew what the kiss was leading towards. He lifted me around the waist, and my legs wrapped around him. That made him smile, and he carried me up the stairs and into the bedroom, laying me down carefully on the bed.

He leaned over me, kissing me again, first on the forehead and then down the bridge of my nose to my lips. I could tell he was being very careful, very considerate, not wanting to frighten me or rush me.

I reached to the back of his head, undoing his hair in its Fire Lord ponytail. It fell loose and dark around his face, and he lifted his lips away from mine, looking down at me.

'You look sexy like that,' I said, surprising myself.

He smiled, and I looked into his beautiful gold eyes. My hand moved to his cheek, tracing the wrinkled skin of the scar with my fingertips. Zuko lowered himself down on top of me, kissing me on the mouth again. I parted my lips, letting him in. His hands slid up past my hips to rest on my upper ribs. I felt very warm, and my skin tingled, my lips aching and tingling most of all as he kissed me. He moved his mouth away from mine to kiss my eyelids, then my temple, then down the line of my jaw and onto my throat.

I felt very vulnerable like that, with my head tilted back and my neck exposed. It reminded me of how much I was trusting him, how much I was relying on him not to let me go and let me fall.

Zuko's mouth moved down my throat, teeth occasionally nipping the skin. I liked that, liked it a lot to my surprise. He kissed my collarbone, moving down below it until he was stopped by the dress. His hands went to the ties at the back, and paused.

'Can I undress you?' he asked.

I nodded, and sat up so that he could reach the back more easily. He undid the ties with unexpected ease, and slid the dress off me, pulling it over my head. I was left sitting on the bed in my lacy underwear, feeling awfully self-conscious. That feeling went away when I noticed the look on Zuko's face. He looked the same as he had on the beach, eyes darkened with lust.

My hands, almost of their own accord, went to his waist, reaching under his loose shirt and slipping it off. I stared at his chest, feeling a little shy and also a little undeserving. I wondered what right I had to him. He was gorgeous, and there were probably a million girls, all more attractive than me, who would kill to be where I was right now.

As if he could tell what I was thinking, he laughed, and lay down on top of me again. 'I feel almost like I'm cheating you,' he said.

'How so?' I asked, running my hands up and down his bare back.

'This is more like an early birthday present for me,' he murmured, moving his lips to the base of my throat again.

I snorted. 'God, that's corny. But sweet.'

'Don't laugh at me.' His mouth moved down past my throat, to the tops of my breasts, and I obeyed him. His hands moved to my back, undoing the clasp of my bra, while his mouth was busy paying careful attention to my nipples through the silk. That made my train of thought almost incoherent. I made a tiny noise in the back of my throat, and he raised his head and smiled.

'Do you like that?' he whispered.

'What is it with you and stupid questions?' He pulled my bra off, tossing it on the floor, and licked one of my nipples cheekily. I squirmed, my hips jerking off the bed momentarily.

Zuko moved his mouth down my ribs, tickling me lightly with his fingers, which made me giggle and arch my back. He kissed my navel, and with that I knew where he was going next. I remembered Jimi giving me head. He hadn't known how to give me an orgasm, but it had still felt warm, as if my insides were melting.

Zuko's fingers slipped inside my underwear, sliding it off down my thighs. He bent his head down between my legs. 'I haven't done this in ages,' he said. 'Tell me if I'm doing it wrong.'

I felt his lips and then his tongue down there, and gasped. 'Oh _God._'

He was licking and kissing and sucking at me, and it felt like my insides had skipped right past the liquid phase and vaporised instantly. I glanced down at him, looked at the messy head of dark hair between my legs, and then he looked up at me, lifting his mouth away.

I saw his eyes travel over me, all of me naked in front of him. He smiled again, a naughty smile, and I knew he liked what he saw. He lowered his head down again. I felt the fingers of one hand sliding in and out of me, and nearly fainted. It was almost like I was a musical instrument, a violin perhaps, that had only been played once, and then by an amateur. Now I was in the hands of a virtuoso, and every part of me was singing.

I laid back on the bed, panting. Zuko pushed himself up onto his hands, sitting in front of me.

'How do you feel?' he asked.

'I feel…empty.' It popped out of my mouth, and I realised it was true. There was an intense warm feeling between my legs, need almost, but I felt like I was missing something.

Zuko leaned forward and lay on top of me. 'What do you want me to do?' he asked, and right then I knew.

I moved my hands to his hips, trying to find where his pants did up. Zuko smiled again at that, and helped me. His pants went onto the floor with my dress and underwear, and suddenly we were both naked on the bed.

'Is it safe for me to do this?' he asked, and I knew what he meant.

I nodded. He was hovering above me on his hands, hair hanging in his eyes, which were fixated on my body. The self-conscious feeling returned, and I crossed my arms across my chest.

'Don't do that. You're beautiful,' he said, and that was when I lifted my head, looking down the length of his body. What I saw made me blush. He was very well-endowed, and part of me wondered again if there'd be any pain.

The rest of me didn't care. I put my hands on his shoulders, wrapped my legs around his back, and felt him push very slowly and carefully into me. His hands went under my legs, pushing them up higher.

He was pressed against me now, and I could feel him shaking a little with the effort of holding back. 'Am I hurting you?' he asked, gold eyes unfocused.

There was a brief twinge, of something that might have been pain, but then it was gone. The warm need between my legs had returned, more intense now.

My breathing was unsteady. 'Zuko…' I sighed, my eyes fluttering shut just momentarily.

I saw the smile curve across his lips at that, and his eyes shut. He buried his face in my shoulder, and his hips rocked backwards and then forward again. I let out a little cry at that. He gradually picked up the pace, and my fingertips dug into his back. I cried out again, and heard him breathing heavily into my shoulder.

'Faster,' I whispered, and he obeyed, turning off most of my mental faculties at the same time. It was almost unbearable now. I'd lost awareness of virtually everything else. I just wanted him, all of him, _now - _

Zuko pulled his face away from my shoulder, and kissed me, deep and urgent. It was then that it became unbearable. I jerked my hips forward as it tore through me like lightning, instantly boiling anything it touched. My mind turned off, and I gasped, my eyes flicking open for a split second.

Zuko cried out just as I had before. His eyes were shut, not tightly but just closed, and the expression on his face was one of indescribable bliss. As my orgasm died away I had the sudden irrational thought that he looked like an angel.

He lay on top of me, still inside me. I could feel the warm exhausted glow of him and smiled.

'Did you enjoy that?' he asked.

If I'd been myself I would've made a smart remark, but I wasn't anything like myself now. 'Yes. Very much.' I reached my fingers to his forehead, brushing strands of black hair out of his eyes.

'I'm sorry if I was a little out of practice,' he said.

That made me snort. 'Do you see me complaining?' Zuko chuckled at that. He levered himself off me, and I felt him pull out. He pulled back the bed sheets, and I slipped in between them. He held me in his arms, and I lay across his chest, feeling small and fragile again. His hand traced the back of my neck, then my shoulder blade.

'You really are beautiful,' he murmured. 'And I don't understand your ex-boyfriend.'

'Why's that?' I kissed his collarbone.

'He saw you naked. And…broke up with you? It makes _no sense_.'

I laughed. 'Thank you,' I said. 'For my birthday present. Both of them.' He didn't reply, and I looked down. 'Zuko?'

He was asleep, breathing softly. I smiled. I could always punch him in the arm tomorrow.


	40. Morning After

I was listening to Opeth while writing this, specifically the song 'Black Rose Immortal.' This takes care of the annoying need to change songs while writing. This song goes for twenty freaking minutes of awesome.

Hope you guys liked the lemon in the last chapter. There's more in this one, just because I can. This was also kind of hard to write, not as much as chapter 39 though. What I tend to do is draft things in my head, over and over again, until I get them right, and then they get written down on paper and not revised at all. This is probably a bad way to write, but that's how I roll.

* * *

Vivisection

Chapter 40 - Morning After

* * *

I stretched, yawned, legs pushing at the sheets covering me. I could hear the sound of rain droplets spattering on the roof. Despite the fact that the weather outside sounded cold, I was warm. My skin felt flushed and almost delicate.

My leg brushed Zuko's and I did a double take, the memory of the night before taking a while to come back. When it did I smiled, eyes on his face. He was still asleep, breathing warm against my neck. His head was next to my shoulder on the pillow. He was lying on his back, arms around me.

I wasn't a virgin any more. It felt strange, but kind of nice, to think that. I reached my hand to Zuko's face, tracing the outline of his scar. When my fingers moved down to his lips his eyes slowly fluttered open.

'Good morning,' he said sleepily, and I poked him in the ribs. 'What was that for?' he asked, twisting over so he was lying on his side.

'You fell asleep on me last night,' I said, poking him again.

'Sorry,' he murmured, kissing me. 'I didn't mean to.'

'Mmm…you're forgiven.' I stretched again, making little pleased noises in the back of my throat as he kissed my neck and shoulders. I felt him nipping at me with his teeth again, and the pleased noises turned into a moan. Parts of me started tingling again. His mouth moved back to mine, and I groaned in impatience. He pulled his lips away, looking confused.

I leaned over, pushing him onto his back, and straddled him. His hair, still lovely and loose, fell around his head on the pillow like a dark halo, his eyes wide with surprise. I moved myself forward, supporting myself on my arms, and giggled at how stunned he looked.

'Too early in the morning for you?' I asked.

'Definitely not.' His hands, warm and a little rough, slid down my back, guiding my hips down.

I yanked the sheets out of the way. My desire for him intensified as I looked down, seeing him naked underneath me. No, desire was the wrong word. It was too nice, almost like a euphemism. This was definitely lust.

His hands tangled in my hair, breath catching in his throat as I moved myself, thrusting my hips forward onto him. Zuko opened his mouth, as if to speak, but I kissed him gently, as if to silence him. The pattering of the rain on the roof increased.

I briefly wondered if I was doing it right or not, but that thought was quickly silenced. I was enjoying this far too much, seeing him gasp and pant underneath me. It was easy to understand the appeal of being on top now. I paused just once, and felt his hands tighten on my back. The feeling of him hard inside me prevented me from stopping for too long. I gave thanks to whoever had invented morning wood, and rocked my body backwards and forwards. His hands moved off my back, slid once onto my thighs, then moved up past my stomach to cup my breasts, thumbs pressing gently on my nipples. His eyes closed, and I felt him tense beneath me. In answer, I moved faster, feeling myself tense up as well.

My mind, which had been primarily in control up until now, suddenly ceased to exist. I came, breathing out in a rush. Zuko cried out, his hands gripping my shoulders.

When it was done he gazed up at me, not looking sleepy and sated as he had last night but questioning. 'What did you do to stop yourself from getting pregnant?'

I told him about the plant with the tiny purple flowers, and realised what he was getting at. 'It's still got…' I counted on my fingers. 'Probably five or six hours to go.' I pushed myself off him.

'We can do a lot in five or six hours,' Zuko said, thoughtfully.

I stood up, wrapping myself in a sheet. 'Stay there, and close your eyes,' I ordered.

He laughed. 'Kinky,' he said, but did as I told him.

I fastened the sheet around myself and went down to the laundry, shivering a little at the cold touch of the floor on my feet. It took a while for the water to heat up, but it got there eventually. Carrying the water up to the bathroom was considerably unfun too, but I decided it was worth the effort.

When I was done I lowered myself into the hot soapy water, letting my legs hang over the side.

'Can I open my eyes?' Zuko called from the bedroom.

I stayed silent, wondering how long it would take him to figure it out. It didn't take long before Zuko pushed the bathroom door open, sheet wrapped around his waist.

'Care to join me?' I asked, lazily stretching out my legs.

Zuko didn't need any encouraging. He dropped the sheet, and I let my eyes linger on him for a while. Then he stepped into the bath.

'So which of those did you like best?' he asked me, pulling his pants on.

I paused, thinking. 'It's hard to decide, really. Having you do me on the kitchen table was pretty hot, but sort of unhygienic.'

'What do you mean, unhygienic?'

'That's where you make the _food_,' I pointed out, trying to find my underwear on the bedroom floor.

'Don't bother getting dressed,' he said. 'You look better naked.'

'Pfft, sucks to be you.' I found my bra, and Zuko stepped across the room, stopping me.

'I want to dress you,' he said. I looked at him, frowning, but gave in.

It took him about an hour just to get my underpants on. His fingers kept wandering in between my thighs, which was very frustrating since he seemed to like teasing me. Whenever I started enjoying myself too much, he'd pull his hands away, smiling an infuriating smile up at me. He was trying and failing to put my bra on now. He kept holding my breasts in his hands, kissing and nuzzling them.

'Oh, fuck it.' I ripped my bra off, which made him look much too pleased with himself. His hands slid inside my underpants, cupping my behind before pulling them off. He was paying careful attention to one of my breasts with his mouth, both hands between my legs.

I pulled his pants off, and Zuko lifted me onto the bed, pushing the length of himself into me. I'd lost count of the number of times we'd done this over the past few hours. I was a little surprised I wasn't feeling sore right now, but instead I only wanted him more, harder and faster and -

We both came again, and my body fell, finally limp. 'It surprises me that we stopped after once last night,' I said.

'We're only stopping now because your plant's going to wear off soon,' Zuko pointed out.

'_I'm _actually feeling a little worn out now,' I said, standing up and picking up my underwear. 'I still think you're hooked up to a generator.'

He laughed at that, pulling his clothes back on.

'So how long can you be away before your council or whatever starts pooping themselves?' I asked, dressing myself.

'For however long you want me to be,' he said.

I rolled my eyes. 'Ideally, that's either fifty million years, or all eternity. But I think your nation would get a little pissed off with me.'

'Just a little,' he replied. 'I should probably be going back today, but they can live without me for a while longer, if you want.'

'No, don't put me before your country. I don't mind going back.'

'Are you sure?'

I nodded. 'Yeah. It's okay. I'm pretty sure your council doesn't like me, so it's probably not a good idea to push my luck.'

Zuko frowned. 'It's because they think I'm letting you influence me too much.'

'Wasn't Mai involved in that kind of stuff?' I sat down to pull my boots on. 'I mean, I get that it's a different situation now, since you're not married to me, but -'

'No, she didn't particularly want a part in it. She thought it was boring.'

'I'm guessing the Fire Lord's significant other doesn't usually participate in the decision making,' I said. 'Should I back off for a while, then? Stop going to your council meetings?'

'You're still technically my bodyguard,' Zuko said, putting an arm around my shoulders. 'Which means technically, you still can't let me out of your sight.'

I pretended to sigh. 'I still have to look at you every minute of every day? Damn.'

We left the house, Zuko carrying my stuff for me. As we walked inside the ship, he put my things on the floor of the control room, his arm still around my shoulders. I felt safe with him there. After I had tried to give myself to Jimi, there had been a two-week-long awkward silence between us, with me quietly trying to figure out what I'd done wrong. For once, I wasn't hoping that trusting Zuko was the right thing to do.

I knew it was the right thing to do, because he wasn't running away.


	41. Caught Red Handed

For Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series fans:

Who's that crazy kook destroying the world?

It's ZORC…no, sorry, wait, it's Azula.

Yes, people, Azula is back. And this time she's in your palace, plotting your doom.

* * *

Vivisection

Chapter 41 - Caught Red-Handed

* * *

Azula painted a smile on her face, placing the teacup in front of the woman in the chair. General Aizen's wife barely acknowledged her presence, turning to the lady next to her.

It hadn't been hard to get herself hired as a maid. The Fire Nation palace was always offering jobs to young girls who needed to help feed their families. It wasn't as though hiring new maids was expensive. They were paid a pittance. The woman who'd handed her the uniform and told her where she'd be sleeping had obviously never seen the Fire Nation's princess before, but Azula had cut her hair just in case. She reached a hand up to it almost unconsciously. It felt softer now, finishing just below her ears.

It was surprising how much this small, simple action had changed her appearance. General Aizen himself had actually entered the room where the Fire Nation ladies were taking tea some time ago. He had been a member of her father's council. Azula hadn't dropped her head when he'd entered. That would have been guaranteed to give her away. Fortunately, her worries had been groundless. Aizen had looked her in the face, even smiled and accepted a cup of tea from her before leaving.

That had restored a little of Azula's confidence. This plan had been her father's idea. Outwardly Azula had agreed, but inwardly she had been certain that she would have to avoid any and all of the Fire Nation nobility who'd even glimpsed her while she was a princess.

The ladies had been talking about something dreadfully dull, some minor scandal involving one of the sentries, and Azula had mentally drifted off. Now they were discussing her brother.

Lady Aizen sipped her tea. 'As much respect as I have for the Fire Lord, I just can't really see _her_ as a Fire Lady.'

The woman next to her murmured in agreement. 'Of course everyone's heard those ridiculous rumours about her. I certainly don't believe she's a demon, but she's definitely not from the Fire Nation.'

'She's not a firebender,' Lady Aizen continued. 'Not that there's anything wrong with that - Ursa wasn't. But it's quite obvious just from looking at her that wherever she was from, she wasn't nobility.'

'Yes.' The other woman breathed out. 'I actually spoke to her, you know.'

'Oh really?' Lady Aizen leaned forward.

The woman looked up at the ceiling, as if trying to recall, then looked back at Lady Aizen. 'She didn't really know how to make conversation. She smiled and nodded, but that was all.'

'That's to be expected. One of those peasant-fighter types, isn't she? The stories say she won an Earth Kingdom tournament.'

'I've heard that one too. Not to say anything against Fire Lord Zuko, but I don't really understand what he saw in her - Nemi, is that what she's called?'

'Mmm,' Lady Aizen agreed. 'Unless it was that absurd hair.' She laughed, and the other woman laughed too.

'I've heard she's grown awfully close to him. Sits in on his council meetings, even speaks during them. I know she was his bodyguard, but she's more than that now. Someone should tell her to mind her place.'

Lady Aizen nodded. 'The only woman who's ever been in that council chamber was Princess Azula, and she was always Ozai's favourite. Besides that, her mind was the sharpest anyone's seen or heard of, or so my husband told me.'

'And a princess born, at that. Which this Nemi girl certainly isn't. I hope to Agni that Zuko doesn't get her with child.'

Lady Aizen laughed again. 'Then we'd really be stuck with her. Although word is that he plans to make her his heir.'

'Hopefully that's as much a fairy story as the demon rumour,' laughed her companion.

Azula had heard much of the same from other conversations she'd been privy to. From the sounds of it, her brother's new girlfriend had no idea how to walk the walk, talk the talk or play the game. The least negative reaction she'd managed to incite from the court was pity. By all accounts, none of the women liked her, and the councilmen definitely didn't like her.

Azula didn't understand, and that made her angry. It should have been the kiss of death as far as her brother's relationship went. If she'd been ruler, Azula would've been careful to avoid anything that would make her people question her judgement. Eventually, that was what it would come to. Either the court would grudgingly accept Nemi, or she would act as a wedge driven in between Zuko and them and her brother's hold on power would collapse on its own.

Azula didn't want to have to wait for that to happen, though.

Her back ached, and she stood against the wall, out of their way, waiting to be dismissed. She suppressed the knee-jerk sense of injustice. She wasn't truly a servant, she was a princess, it just wasn't the right time to kick-start her plan.

It was then that a seed of an idea began to germinate in her mind.

Her original idea had been to kill Zuko. Azula wasn't so amateurish as to leave it at that, though. She had intended to get some guardsman implicated in the crime, have herself maybe shedding a false tear of grief at not being able to save her brother's life. As the last surviving member of the royal family - not counting Ozai - Azula would be crowned Fire Lord.

If Zuko named Nemi as his successor, that would complicate things. Most likely Azula wouldn't get so much as a pat on the shoulder or a 'well done' for her 'attempt' at saving Zuko. Nemi would get the throne, and Azula would get nothing but a wasted effort. She couldn't afford to shrug it off as just a rumour. Knowing Zuko, he'd probably do it just to inconvenience her.

Azula knew - everyone in the Fire Nation did - that the Fire Lord was above reproach, regardless of whether his or her behaviour would be considered immoral by normal people. The Fire Lord was above social norms, and had to bear the full responsibility of carrying the Fire Nation forward through history. Whatever the Fire Lord said was right, was right. Whatever the Fire Lord did was set in stone.

The only crime for which whoever was on the throne could be punished was the murder of the previous Fire Lord. That particular penalty was life imprisonment, or, more commonly, death.

Azula smiled to herself. She had a scapegoat, a motive, and a cover story. The best part was that Zuko didn't even need to actually make Nemi his heir for it to work. As long as it remained a nebulous rumour that he intended to do it, or had already done it, that would be enough to condemn Nemi in the public eye.

And the public eye was what mattered in the power game.

'You are dismissed,' Lady Aizen told her, and Azula curtseyed, leaving the room.

She barely noticed her surroundings, even made a couple of wrong turns. What she had initially thought would serve as an inconvenience had turned out to be perfect. She could remove Zuko and Nemi in one fell swoop, and reinstate herself as ruler. The council would believe Nemi had murdered Zuko. The court would believe Nemi had murdered Zuko. And the people of the Fire Nation would believe Nemi had murdered Zuko.

'That's what you get when nobody likes you,' Azula muttered to herself.

All she needed was the opportunity, and a method. From what she knew Nemi wasn't a bender, and didn't carry any weapons. The obvious option was strangulation, but Azula wasn't convinced that she was physically capable of performing it. And the council might find it a little hard to believe that Nemi had managed to subdue and strangle a man who was twice her size.

No, she would think of something later. She had plenty of time.

Hopefully her career as Fire Lord would be more successful the second time around.


	42. Life, the Universe, and Everything

It is a requirement that Chapter 42 be named a Douglas Adams reference. That is all.

Oh, and Lisana tends to ramble and talk too fast when she's on an emotional high. Just like me.

Oh, and there's another lemon near the end of this chapter. It's just a little one, though.

And LittleKuriboh = epic win. And I hate it when Internet people get pissed that abridgers don't make videos fast enough for them. I'm grateful that awesome people are making Internet parodies for me to watch at all. I'd never dream of complaining that people such as LittleKuriboh, 1KidsEntertainment and GanXingba have stuff to do outside of YouTube (eg work, school, LIFE) that means they can't make a new video every week, on the dot.

But I digress. A lot.

Anyway, thanks again to everyone who's reviewed, favourited or alerted so far. You guys are the reason I'm writing this thing. :)

* * *

Vivisection

Chapter 42 - Life, the Universe and Everything

* * *

'I heard something big's supposed to be happening today,' Lisana commented as they walked towards the central hall of the palace.

Zuko did a double take, wondering how she could possibly have guessed. The only person he'd told was Iroh, and he knew Iroh wouldn't have intentionally let slip to Lisana or anyone else. Although maybe his uncle had said something by accident, and Lisana had put two and two together.

'Who told you?' he asked, trying to keep his voice casual.

'I was talking to one of the lieutenants and he said some important person was coming to the Fire Nation today. Some noble family's daughter.' Lisana slipped her fingers into his hand.

Zuko breathed a sigh of relief, which thankfully she didn't notice. He tried to think who the officer Lisana had spoken to could have been talking about. It didn't take him long. There weren't too many young women among the Fire Nation's social elite who were voluntarily absent from court.

'That would be Jilan Aizen,' he said.

Lisana frowned. 'Aizen…that name's familiar. Is her dad a general?'

Zuko nodded. 'He's on my council.'

'I think you said that General Aizen was on your father's war council. I always wondered why you kept the same generals.' Lisana looked puzzled.

'It would've been a nightmare trying to find new councilmen,' Zuko muttered. 'It would've been like what happened after Mai died, only times twelve. As soon as the mourning period was over people were shoving their daughters in my face whenever I so much as left my room.'

'I guess that explains why most of them don't like me.'

'It's whatever happens whenever there's a position of power and it's empty.' Zuko looked down at her. 'If I'd fired all my father's councilmen, there would've been generals and admirals everywhere I turned, trying to ingratiate themselves with me.'

'Kissing ass, basically.' Lisana looked thoughtful. 'And the councilmen you have now don't seem to have mixed feelings at all about serving you when you've overthrown the man they used to work for. I guess there wasn't any love lost between your father and his commanding officers.'

'Love isn't really a concept the Fire Nation military understands,' Zuko replied. Lisana laughed. 'That explains so much. Like how all the admirals' wives look like they've swallowed ten lemons whole.'

Zuko wondered whether to broach the topic to her, then decided against it. He could hardly ask her in the middle of a hallway.

'So why is everyone so excited about Jilan Aizen?' Lisana asked. 'It can't be that rare for someone important in court to go away for a while and then come back. I mean, _we _did and the only person who seemed to really notice was your uncle, and that was because he knew about it.'

'It's not rare for someone from court to go away and then come back.' Zuko paused. 'It's rare for them to choose to live away from court when they're a general's daughter.'

'Why'd she leave?'

Zuko shrugged. 'She left when she was sixteen. I heard she wanted to enlist in a bandit squad, but I don't know if that's what really happened. I was only ten at the time. And I was a crown prince. It didn't really concern me.'

'What's a bandit squad?' Lisana looked curious.

'It's a free unit of the Fire Nation military. They roam around the Fire Nation, keeping peace and stuff like that.' Zuko reverted back to the original subject. 'There was a big fight between her and her parents. General Aizen owns one of the most powerful estates in the Fire Nation, so he wanted his daughter to marry.'

'I wonder why they let her go?' Lisana mused. She was quiet for a while, and then changed the topic. 'There's also this rumour going around that you're going to declare me your heir or something. I'm _assuming _that it's not true, since I think you'd have told me about it if it was, but -'

'It's not true.' It came out awkwardly, almost abrupt, and Zuko hoped he hadn't hurt her feelings.

Lisana seemed not to notice. 'Thank God. Can you picture me ruling a country?'

Zuko smiled. 'Yes, I just don't think any of my generals can.'

Lisana laughed at that. 'If you've declared me as your heir and I'm ruling your country, that means you're dead. So how can you picture anything?'

'I'm the Zombie Lord, remember?'

'I guess that makes me a necrophile.' Lisana pretended to think. 'So how long do you think the rigor mortis would last for?'

Zuko snorted. 'That's disgusting. No wonder the nobility don't like you. You seem to like making jokes about sex and dead people on a regular basis.'

Lisana shrugged, grinning. 'That's how I roll.'

They entered the central hall. The messenger there bowed. He was a boy of about twelve. _He's too young to be supporting his family, _Zuko thought, and then remembered that the Avatar had saved the world and defeated the man who was arguably the most powerful firebender in existence at the same age.

'Fire Lord Zuko.' The boy paused, and then looked in Lisana's direction. 'Miss Nemi.' He held out a sealed scroll to Zuko. 'This came for you via hawk this morning, sir.'

Zuko examined the seal. It was grey wax, the waves and curves of the Water Tribe crest imprinted in its surface. He opened the scroll, praying it wasn't bad news.

'What is it?' Lisana asked.

Zuko read the inked scrawl. It was quite messy, probably Aang's writing. 'It's the Avatar,' he said. 'He's writing to say that he's married Katara.'

Lisana's eyes widened. 'Is that the girl who healed me? But she only looked about my age. And he looked younger.'

'He says they're very happy together,' Zuko continued, 'and he wants to come visit the Fire Nation again.' He glanced at the messenger boy. 'You're dismissed.'

The boy bowed, murmured his thanks and left.

'Well, if they're happy, I guess that's good news. And it's good that they're coming here. I liked Aang, and I never got to thank that Katara girl.' Lisana looked at him. 'Is something wrong?'

'He's coming here because he's worried about me,' Zuko replied. 'Read it.' He passed her the scroll.

Lisana took it, reading slowly. 'I'm still not too great at reading this,' she answered, 'but I _think_ it says something like 'it'll be good to see you again, especially in such troubled times.''

'You're right,' Zuko said, folding his arms across his chest. 'That means he's heard about Azula. He shouldn't come here, his life is worth more than mine.'

Lisana punched him in the arm, quite hard. When he flinched she scowled. 'I don't care if it'll bruise,' she said. 'Don't say things like that.'

Zuko rubbed his arm. 'It's true! He's the Avatar, the world can't survive losing him again.'

'I know this is a horrible thing to say, but whose life do you think matters more to me?' Lisana looked fierce. 'To your uncle? Your friend is coming here to protect you because he cares about you, not because he's an idiot who's going to throw himself in the way if Azula shoots a deadly fireblast at you. Aang's a master of all four bending disciplines, right?' When Zuko nodded, she continued. '_And _he defeated your father, a Fire Lord at the height of his power. I'm pretty sure he could wipe the floor with your nutso sister any day of the week if he wanted to. He's worried about you, he cares about you, and you shouldn't assume that he's going to get hurt because of you. You especially shouldn't say that his life is more important than yours.'

'I'm sorry,' Zuko replied, looking at his feet.

'It's okay.' Lisana smiled and hugged him. 'Let's go and eat now that that's out of the way. I'm hungry.'

They left the central hall. 'So will I get to meet the infamous Jilan Aizen at some point?' she asked.

'I suppose so. You'll see her around, I guess.' Zuko looked down at her. 'I _did_ tighten the palace security. There's going to be a guard squad patrolling close to my rooms from now on. They all know what Azula looks like.'

'Okay. How close is close?' she asked.

'You know where the staircase is at the end of the hall? No closer than that.' They entered the room where they usually ate, and Iroh greeted them.

'Zuko, Nemi,' he said, doing a Fire Nation bow. 'Did you get the message that came today?'

Zuko explained what had been in the message, and Iroh nodded and smiled. 'That's good news,' he replied. 'I'm looking forward to seeing young Aang again. And he's married to Katara now - good for him.'

Zuko didn't miss the meaningful look his uncle moved between him and Lisana, and he flushed.

They ate dinner, Zuko barely tasting anything. He stood up as soon as Lisana was finished, placing a hand on her shoulder.

'We're going to retire to bed now, Uncle,' he said, and Lisana stood as well, leaving the room with him.

'Are we actually going to go to sleep, or were you just being polite in front of your uncle?' she asked as they entered his bedroom.

'That depends,' Zuko replied, kissing her on the mouth, then moving his lips down her chin and onto her throat. 'It's entirely up to you.' He moved his mouth away, sitting down on his bed, and held her by the waist, pulling her into his lap.

In answer, Lisana kissed him back, her fingers twisting in his hair.

'I don't like lying to Iroh,' she murmured as Zuko slid off her shirt, pulling it over her head. 'He's such a sweet man.'

Zuko's mind was occupied with what he planned to ask her, and he had planned to phrase the question when they were alone in his room. But then Lisana undid her hair, and it fell over her back, long and loose. She undid her bra, threw it on the floor, and cupped her hands underneath her breasts, as if offering herself to him. The slight smile on her lips still held a trace of shyness, as if part of her was still unsure as to whether he wanted her or not. Zuko lay down, trailing his hands down her back. He traced the purplish scar under her breast where the knife had gone in. It didn't detract from her in the slightest.

It wasn't long before they were naked on the bed, conscious thought gone in both of them. He held the small of her back with one hand, the other gripping her thigh. Lisana panted and gasped, digging her fingers into his back, but he couldn't feel any pain. Zuko kissed her, not fully but just in short warm kisses on her face and neck.

When it was over Zuko pulled the sheets over them, wrapping his arms around her waist. 'Am I getting better at that?' she asked, putting her head on his chest and nuzzling his collarbone.

'You're getting more confident,' he said, which was true. 'Don't feel bad about lying to my uncle. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't want to know.'

She laughed quietly, and just lay against him for a while. She was very warm against his chest, and Zuko felt himself drifting off to sleep until he remembered what he was going to ask.

'Lisana?' he asked.

'Mmm…what?' She rolled over, looking up at him.

'I love you,' he said.

'That's nice. I love you too.'

'I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you,' Zuko continued. 'I want you to be Fire Lady.'

He felt Lisana tense.

'Will you marry me?' he finished.

Almost right away Zuko could tell that Lisana's reaction wasn't good. She turned away, not looking at him. She was silent for what felt like a long time, even though it was probably only a few minutes.

She turned around again. 'I…really do not know how to respond to that.'

Zuko met her eyes, and she looked away.

Then Lisana sat up, pulling the sheets up over her chest. 'Don't look at me like that,' she said. 'You're making me feel guilty.'

'I take it that's a _no_, then,' Zuko said, his voice sounding oddly calm.

Lisana looked panicked at that. 'I'm really, really sorry, Zuko! I love you too. It's just that - I'm too young.' Then she slapped herself. 'No, it's not that. I'm too young _where I come from. _I know there are girls getting married at sixteen here, I just can't be one of them. Where I'm from, I wouldn't consider getting married until I was - God, even thinking about getting married makes me feel old. And I'm only eighteen. Please don't be angry with me.'

'I'm not angry with you.' Zuko sat up and hugged her. She relaxed a little at that.

'Look, if I'd never met you, if I'd stayed in my world - well, even if I had gotten married I wouldn't have done it at least until I'd finished my university degree. If I'd gotten into the university I wanted, the course I wanted, then I'd be at least twenty-six or twenty-seven.' Lisana said it in a rush. 'I do love you, I do, I just feel kind of weird about possibly marrying you. And then people would expect me to have _children, _so that you could have heirs, and I don't think I'm capable of having children, it's not something I've ever wanted to do.'

Zuko hugged her tighter. 'Stop panicking,' he ordered. 'Breathe.'

Lisana obeyed, sucking in a long breath of air and letting it out in a rush.

'If you need time, then I'll give it to you. We don't even - have to be boyfriend and girlfriend, while you decide. If that would help.' Zuko said it heavily, feeling like he had to offer her that option.

'No!' she exclaimed. 'Hell no, I still want to be with you. The word _marriage_ just scares the crap out of me.' She fell silent, and looked at him. Her eyes were sad, and a little afraid.

'What's wrong?' he asked her.

'Are you prepared to give me a _lot_ of time?' she asked. 'We're talking years here. I don't want you to put your life on hold because of me. I mean, eventually, I can see myself saying yes, but I just can't right now and wouldn't be able to for a really, really long time.'

Zuko kissed her forehead. 'I'm willing to wait for however long it takes,' he said.

Lisana breathed out a sigh of relief. 'That makes me feel a lot better. I thought you would be like one of those people who bug LittleKuriboh about bringing out the next Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged episode. I mean, if you're a big enough fan of Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged, you subscribe to his YouTube channel and you wait and wait, even if it takes him six months to make the damn thing. Which it doesn't, I mean, LittleKuriboh updates his videos fairly regularly, like it only takes him a month or less, which means that he's probably not the best comparison to make -'

Zuko lay down, pulling Lisana with him. 'You need to sleep,' he told her firmly, and she shut her eyes obediently.

'Yes, master,' she said, then giggled. 'That's kinky.'

Zuko sighed and closed his eyes, putting his arms around her shoulders again.


	43. Jilan

Graaargh brains. The fan fiction zombie had a minor writer's block RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CHAPTER. That pissed me off to no end.

But I broke that writer's block. I broke it good.

* * *

Vivisection

Chapter 43 - Jilan

* * *

Waking up next to Zuko the next morning was more than a little awkward. We exchanged a kiss and then turned our backs to each other to get dressed. I knew that for me, our usual sleepy morning sex would have been too confusing, and it would have felt far too much like I was sending him mixed signals.

'Do you feel like training this morning?' he asked, and I nodded. I knew as much as he did that a sparring session right now would be more of a distraction than anything else, and I was grateful that he'd suggested it.

We went outside and got to it. My head kicks were more than a little half-hearted, and I forced myself to concentrate. Zuko got me with a swing to the ribs which I should have blocked easily, and I winced, sinking to my feet.

'Are you all right?' he asked, looking concerned.

I took in a breath and swallowed the pain. That one would definitely bruise.

'I'm okay. I've had worse.'

'The stories I've heard about the Earth Kingdom fighting tournament say no one managed to land a hit on you,' he pointed out.

I laughed at that. 'Most of them were incompetent fighters.' I breathed in slowly and continued. 'The last guy I fought - the Boulder - he was good. But pretty much everyone else relied on size. They saw that I was smaller than them, and started throwing their weight around.'

'Were you the only woman there?' he asked me. I caught him looking at the way I was favouring my left side and kept talking.

'No. I talked to this lady there. She was really nice -' I paused then, as I remembered Sakura's face, and her name, and my mind cross-referenced the face with a second memory.

I must have been silent for a long time, because Zuko held my shoulders and gently shook me. 'Did I hit you too hard?'

I shook my head slowly. 'No, it's just - I know now.' I blinked, and double-checked my memory of Sakura's face and the painting. 'I know why your mother's face looked so familiar.'

Zuko's eyes widened, but before he had a chance to press me further, a voice interrupted.

'Greetings, Fire Lord. May I request your permission to join your training session?'

I started, and looked around for the owner of the unfamiliar voice.

The woman approaching me was in her mid-twenties, or so I guessed. She was obviously from the Fire Nation - she had the dark hair, the pale skin, the sharp and symmetric features - but something was off about her. It took me a while to realise that it was her height.

She was just a little shorter than me, but I'd grown so used to being taller than all the other women at court by a head or more that I took an unconscious step back.

The woman seemed not to notice. She was wearing a loose pair of dark pants, like me, and a red tunic top. Her hair was fastened in a sleek ponytail which hung down her back.

She looked apologetic. 'Forgive me, Fire Lord Zuko. I forgot that you wouldn't remember me.'

Something clicked in my head then. 'Are you Jilan Aizen?' I asked, wondering only after I'd spoken if asking her name would be considered a dreadful faux pas.

The woman smiled and nodded. 'Yes. And you would be Nemi. My squad heard about the winner of the Earth Kingdom tournament. You're quite the celebrity.'

I flushed. 'I'm not sure if that's a compliment.'

'You speak plainly, and I like that. It's difficult to get used to court speech after being absent from it for nine years,' Jilan replied.

'Tell me about it,' I grumbled under my breath, and Zuko snorted.

'I can leave if you wish,' she said, inclining her head slightly. 'I suppose the two of you are busy.'

'No, I don't mind if you join,' I said, glancing at Zuko. 'As long as you don't mind?' The inflection at the end made it sound like a question, which I supposed it was.

'Of course not, Captain Aizen.' Zuko nodded, acknowledging her in careful, politically-correct Fire Lord mode. I realised I'd made a major mistake. I hadn't addressed Jilan Aizen by her title, which I knew by now was more than a passing offence in the Fire Nation.

I reddened again, but she didn't seem to have noticed. Zuko stepped backwards and I realised that he was letting Jilan spar me first.

'Captain,' I said, bowing my head.

'Whenever you're ready,' she replied, stepping into a fighting stance.

I did the same and the fight began. I realised very quickly that Jilan was way, way out of my league. She seemed to anticipate everything I did before I did it. I did a thigh kick and body punch combination, and she blocked all my strikes. I remembered sparring against Shihan. It had been the same sort of thing. I had tried to throw techniques, and every single one had been either blocked, deflected or used against me.

It was almost like this world was a virtual reality, a highly sophisticated computer game. Escaping from Jun had been the first level, and the tournament had been the second. The Boulder, I supposed, would have been the boss for that level. Sparring against Zuko was a training or instant action mini-level, and Captain Aizen was many steps up from that.

When I realised that a computer game analogy would mean Azula was the final boss, I dropped it. Completing that particular level would require at least two level-ups and a hell of a lot of XP, not to mention a few magical items and health vials. And I was reasonably sure that there was no respawn function.

Distracted, I checked one of the captain's kicks without thinking, and realised too late that it had been a feint.

Jilan Aizen's foot stopped less than a centimetre in front of my face, and I mentally slapped myself. I'd used the same bloody technique in the Earth Kingdom tournament, for crying out loud!

'You're good,' she said, lowering her foot.

That very much surprised me. I didn't feel like I was good. I felt like going and hanging my head in front of Shihan, or doing bag-pounding drills until my knuckles bled.

She must have seen it in my face, because she smiled. 'If you were in my squad I'd have you as my lieutenant.'

'You honour me too much,' I mumbled, because it was true.

Jilan did a Fire Nation bow, which I returned. 'My men are restless,' she said, looking in the direction of the palace. 'They haven't trained in some time. I might bring them out here, if that's all right. I can't have the toughest bandit squad in the Fire Nation getting soft and lazy.'

I walked inside with her, Zuko staying in the courtyard. It was as if he'd sensed that I wanted to talk to Jilan alone. I didn't think I'd given any indication of it. It was comforting and frightening at the same time, how well he knew me.

As we walked I tried to think of something to say, of a way to broach the subject. I'd never been good at idle conversation, and it seemed like that particular personality flaw had gotten worse instead of better as I'd gotten older.

'Where did you learn to fight?' I asked, for a lack of anything else to say.

'I learnt when I joined the military,' she replied, looking back over her shoulder at me. 'I wasn't in a squad straight away, I started as a private like the rest of them. There's other women in the Fire Nation army, but not many. The training isn't easy.'

'So how did you become a squad captain?' I was actually genuinely curious now, rather than just making conversation. It was obvious that a general's daughter who'd left home to join the army was a rare thing, I knew that much from Zuko. I guessed it was even rarer for said general's daughter to do well enough to get a promotion.

'I was on a naval outpost at the time.' Jilan recited the story, as if she'd told it many times. 'My unit had been given the job of watching the eastern coastline. There was a pirate attack, and one of the other privates was killed. I avenged his death, and saved my commanding officer's life.' She paused, and went on. 'I was promoted to captain then. Two years later, I requested permission to be transferred to a bandit squad, and got it.'

'That's pretty amazing,' I said, looking down at my feet. 'Um, do you mind if I ask you something else?'

'Of course not.' She stopped, looking back at me.

'Would your squad accept a freelance mission, if I paid all of you?' When she looked at me sceptically, I continued. 'I've got the money.'

Jilan raised an eyebrow. 'We aren't mercenaries.' Her tone had gone a few degrees cooler, and I blushed.

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. I just need to find someone, and I heard that bandit squads were travelling units. The person I want to find - lives pretty far away.'

'The apology is mine.' Jilan bowed. 'I assumed that what you wanted was a military mission. If you're looking to track someone down, you'd be better off hiring a bounty hunter.'

'Where can I find one that's trustworthy?' I asked. 'This person's very important, that's all. I don't want her hurt, or treated like a prisoner. I just want to ask her something, and introduce her to somebody.'

'I understand. You want a bounty hunter who isn't a thug.' Jilan folded her arms, thinking. 'Actually, you might be in luck. A friend of mine is in town, and she can track anyone or anything.'

'That sounds great,' I replied, enthused.

'Don't get too excited,' Jilan warned me. 'She doesn't come cheap. I can arrange for you to meet her tomorrow morning.'

'It's okay,' I said. 'I have the money. That would be awesome, if I could talk to her tomorrow. Thank you so much.'

'You're welcome. Besides, I owed you for the sparring session.' Jilan bowed again, walking off.

I did the same, and realised I was nearing the doors of the room where Zuko and I usually ate. I didn't see the doors open, and lost in my reverie walked into a servant girl leaving the room.

She took a few steps backwards, dropping the broom she'd been carrying, and I started.

'I'm sorry,' I apologised, leaning down to pick up the broom. I handed it back to her. 'Are you all right?'

She nodded, short dark hair obscuring her face. 'Thank you.' She walked away, in the opposite direction.

I frowned. Something about her voice had seemed familiar. I shook my head, realising I had mistaken identities on the brain.

I wanted to do something for Zuko, after everything he'd done for me. I wanted to get him his mother back. Hopefully this bounty hunter friend of Captain Jilan's would be able to help.

I tried to clear the memory of the servant girl's voice from my head, but it was sticking there, for some reason. I wished I'd seen her face. Looking at her and seeing that she was a random stranger that I'd never met before in my life would probably have helped.

I kept walking, heading back to my room.

* * *

Yeah, I decided that Lisana does know Ursa. It really annoyed me how they never brought her back in the series. I think it was more that I was never going to find out what really happened to her, and what she really did the night she disappeared. I mean, it was pretty heavily implied that she plotted to kill Azulon and then did it, but anyways…that could just be my perception, I don't know if it's the truth. I kind of thought about doing a random fanfic about Ursa's story, which I guess has probably been done already, but I might still do it at one point.

So yeah! Princess Ursa! I'm pretty excited for this, how about you?


	44. Guess Who's Back

For all those who groaned and facepalmed when they saw the chapter title…it's an old joke, I know, but it fit well.

You'll see why.

* * *

Vivisection

Chapter 44 - Guess Who's Back (Back Again)

* * *

I stretched, trying not to yawn too loudly in front of Jilan as we left the palace gates. I'd gotten up early this morning, thinking it would be more than slightly embarrassing to sleep in when I was supposed to be meeting her.

Well, not so much her as her friend the bounty hunter. Internally, I squirmed a bit using the phrase _bounty hunter. _It always managed to conjure up a mental image of Jango Fett, while at the same time sounding more than a little thuggish. Hiring a bounty hunter felt more like I was tracking down a dangerous criminal than making an effort to find Ursa/Sakura.

'So what's she like, this bounty hunter friend of yours?' I asked. We'd gotten further into the city by now.

'Not everyone she meets gets along with her,' Jilan replied, looking back at me.

'Sounds like me,' I laughed, and she laughed too.

'I actually met her when we were both trying to bring down the same person. He was a commander in the Fire Nation army when Fire Lord Ozai was in power.' She paused, and I nodded. 'I see.'

'He'd been causing the army a lot of trouble, trying to start a separatist movement in fact. So my squad was sent after him.'

'I'm guessing there was a price on his head,' I said, getting straight to the point.

Jilan nodded. 'Yes. A lot of people wanted that money, and a lot of those people were bounty hunters. I managed to approach him, pretended that I was against Fire Lord Zuko and wanted to become one of his separatists. He bought it, a little too quickly. I should have seen that he was going to double-cross me, but I didn't, like an idiot.' She sighed heavily. 'I'd gone to meet with him and his men alone, not even my lieutenant with me, because that was what he'd insisted on and I knew I had to make sure he trusted me absolutely. He would have cut my throat then and there if this bounty hunter hadn't stepped in. She saved my life, and I let her turn him in for three hundred gold in exchange. We've been friends ever since.'

We were in a part of the Fire Nation capital city I'd never been in before, mainly because it was what looked like the slummier part. There were broken windows everywhere. I heard muffled shouting coming from what looked like a tavern. A man staggered out, holding a rag to his bleeding nose. I was a little surprised that there were still barfights going on this early in the morning.

'Is it, you know, _safe _for us to be here?' I asked.

Jilan laughed. 'Most of the men in the Fire Nation know my reputation, and yours, Lady Nemi. Even if any of them were drunk or foolish enough to attack us, I'm sure we could handle them.'

I was starting to have second thoughts about this bounty hunter lady. If this was the kind of neighbourhood she usually hung out in…I wasn't scared or anything, I was just a big believer of 'There's such a thing as avoiding fights before they start.'

I hated to think it, even to myself, but I wasn't sure if I knew Jilan well enough to trust her judgement of character.

Maybe I should have stayed in bed this morning. I smiled to myself, remembering the night before. It seemed as if the awkward tension between Zuko and I over the whole 'will you marry me' situation was now a thing of the past. We'd kissed and made up - well, we'd done a little more than kissing - last night. When I'd gotten out of bed this morning Zuko had blinked sleepily, realised he wasn't going to start the day by getting laid, and given me a beseeching stare reminiscent of a puppy in a pet store. I'd laughed, and gently smacked him in the head.

'This is where she's staying,' Jilan announced, breaking my train of thought. We were standing in front of a house. It didn't appear to have anything wrong with it other than needing a fresh coat of paint, and I was reassured a little. I wondered if I'd spent too much time living amongst the Fire Nation nobility.

Jilan walked up to the door, rapping her knuckles on it. I heard a grumbling from inside. Obviously the bounty hunter was as much of a morning person as I was. The door opened, creaking a little, and a distinctly familiar face peered out, blinking at the light of the sun.

I backed up. 'Shit!'

Jun rubbed her eyes, yawning. 'Do you mind keeping the honking down? I have a hangover.' Her eyes settled on me and I saw recognition there. 'Oh. It's you.'

'Sorry, Captain Aizen, I'm out of here,' I said, turning away. 'I know this lady.' _Lady _wasn't exactly the word I'd had in mind, but I didn't want to use bad language in front of Jilan. It would have been rude, to say the least.

'Relax, little girl. I'm not going to kidnap you or anything like that.' Jun laughed, sounding hoarse. 'Trust me, if I'd really wanted to get you back, you'd have been stunned by Nyla, trussed up and sold to some Earth Kingdom noble months ago.' She yawned again.

I turned my head. 'Yeah, right. You just didn't dare break into the palace.'

'You're right there. You're definitely not worth enough to justify becoming a wanted criminal in the Fire Nation,' Jun drawled. 'I didn't care enough to bother tracking you down. It wasn't _my _ostrich horse you stole.'

'I was about to introduce the two of you,' Jilan broke in, 'but I see you already know each other.'

I glared at Jun, who sighed. 'Look, Nemi or whatever your name is, I'm sorry. It was nothing personal, okay? Just me trying to make a living.'

'By capturing people and selling them into prostitution,' I muttered.

'What's this about, Jilan?' Jun asked bluntly. 'What did you bring Princess here for?' When I spluttered, she rolled her eyes. 'What? It's true. Or as good as, anyway. You're Angry Boy's girlfriend, remember?'

'She has a proposition for you,' Jilan interrupted. 'She wants you to find someone.'

'You'd better come in, then.' Jun opened the door and motioned for us to go inside. I hung back, only entering behind Jilan.

The room was dim, but appeared to be reasonably clean. There was a carpet on the floor as well as a few cushions and a table. Jilan sat down on one of the cushions, and I followed suit.

'I'd offer you tea,' Jun said, 'but I don't have any.' She sat, looking at me. 'So who's the target?' she asked.

I decided to play it blunt, just like her. 'To be honest, I don't think I can trust you with this,' I said.

Jun actually looked insulted at that. 'Tracking people and bringing them back to wherever they're supposed to be is my _job,_ you know.' Her tone was acidic. 'I'm a professional. I don't mess around with business.'

'Jun is pretty much the best there is when it comes to tracking down a target,' Jilan said, looking at me as well.

I guessed I'd stepped over the line there. 'I'm sorry,' I said, still feeling a little weird about apologising to someone who'd captured me. 'This is really important to me, and I want to make sure it's done right.'

'Your wish is my command, provided you have money.' Jun settled back onto her cushion.

I explained to her about Sakura, telling her about the Earth Kingdom tournament. I decided not to tell her that she was Zuko's mother. I didn't know that she wouldn't try and turn that to her advantage somehow.

Jun listened carefully. When I'd finished she spoke. 'Do you have anything that she touched? Anything that might have her scent on it?'

Scent? I wrinkled my nose. 'No, I don't.'

'That'll make it harder,' Jun murmured. 'Still doable, though. You realise this is going to cost you, don't you?' She stared at me.

I nodded. 'How much?'

'Fifty gold,' she said flatly, and I pulled the bag of money I'd brought with me out from under the short cloak I was wearing. I started counting out the pieces, and her eyes widened a little at that.

'You're not going to haggle?' she asked. 'Or wait until the job's done before you pay up?'

I shrugged. 'This is really important to me. I thought I said that already.'

'Gee, you're trusting,' she commented, pulling the gold towards her on the table. 'Even I know you can't survive the Fire Nation court for long that way.'

'Fine, you can have that amount again when you bring me Sakura,' I said, ignoring the last bit. 'But only if you follow my conditions.' I passed her a scroll. I'd used some candle wax and Zuko's seal to close it the day before. 'When you find her, give her this letter to read. Don't open it, is that clear? Then, and only then, will she tell you if she actually wants to come back to the Fire Nation. You have to make sure she's fed, clothed, taken care of on your journey here. Use the money I gave you.'

'What, that money isn't for me?'

'Whatever, you can have a hundred gold when you bring her to me!' I said, frustrated. 'Two hundred, I don't care. Just follow the instructions!'

Jun shrugged. 'Calm down. It was just a joke. I'll settle with my fifty now and fifty later.' She looked at me. 'I guess they pay you well to have assassins stick knives in you instead of the Fire Lord.'

'Don't remind me,' I muttered. The scar which marked the spot where the blade had gone in ached occasionally, and sometimes when I was training with Zuko I felt a sharp pain there in my ribs, my breath catching in my throat.

'I can probably bribe the officials at the dock to give me early passage to the Earth Kingdom,' Jun continued. 'I should have her back within a couple of weeks.'

'Send me a hawk when you get back,' I said, standing up. I'd learnt from Iroh that this was the usual mode of long-distance communication in the Fire Nation, since nobody had mobile phones.

'Got it,' Jun replied.

Jilan looked up at me. 'Can you find your own way back to the Fire palace? I'd like to stay and talk with Jun for a while.'

I nodded. 'I'll be fine.' I turned to leave, then remembered something. 'Thank you,' I said to Jun, the words passing stiff and awkward through my lips.

I barely caught her sarcastic 'Don't mention it' before the door shut behind me on my way out.

* * *

Okay, I had the feeling I wrote the last chapter a little clumsily, probably because a) exams are a bitch and b) my work sucks for saying I won't be getting shifts any more. I think this one's done a little bit better though, imo. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

PS, sorry for the timeout between updates. Again, see a) above. I hope everyone enjoyed the mental image of Zuko with puppy dog eyes as much as I did. He just seems so…adorable sometimes. Like throughout the _entire Western Air Temple episode. _Agggh, he was so cute! Talking to the frog and being all like, 'I can has friends now?' and the Gaang is like 'No bitch! We hate you! Go die in a hole!' He looked so sad then, I just wanted to hug him to death.

Kelsey is officially keeper of Zuko's horrible lying skills, and the fact that it didn't even occur to him to lie about Combustion Man because he's SO DAMN ADORABLE AND SWEET.

Anyway, that's enough Zuko love from me. I hope everyone liked the chapter. Ooh, it's 12.20 am, I'd better go to bed.


	45. A Double Crossing

When I was watching the series, I could see Azula doing something like this. I was really surprised when she never did.

Enjoy.

* * *

Vivisection

Chapter 45 - A Double Crossing

* * *

Azula pulled the hood further over her face. It was lucky that today was chilly, otherwise her method of disguise would hardly have been believable.

Ozai did likewise. Azula straightened as she walked, flinching as she did. It seemed abandoning her duties for the day yesterday had been a poorly thought out move. When the palace housekeeper had confronted her, demanding where she'd been all day, Azula had responded with a lie, saying she'd spent the day in bed sick. That had been a mistake. One of the other girls had contradicted her story, and the housekeeper had had her whipped.

Thankfully, today was her scheduled day off. The memory of the pain, hot and sharp slicing through her back, seeped into the forefront of Azula's mind, and she gritted her teeth. She would remember that girl's face when she was Fire Lord. Min Lee would get a lot worse than a whipping for her failure to keep her mouth shut.

'You still haven't told me what it is you've planned to do,' her father murmured to her, irritation subdued in his voice.

'I think it's unwise to discuss my plot to overthrow my brother in public, Father,' Azula whispered, her eyes moving forward down the street. No one was there, to her relief. 'I'm sure you'd agree.'

Ozai made a noise in the back of his throat. He looked more than a little worse for wear. Appearance-wise, Azula could see little improvement. Her father had barely changed from the filthy man she'd helped out of a Fire Nation prison cell. Never again would he be the handsome older man the Fire Nation court ladies had glanced at sideways, the one the maids had tried - and sometimes succeeded, Azula knew to her disgust - to get into bed with. Ozai was ruined, both as a bender and as a man.

Azula had been paying for his room in the shabby tavern they'd been staying in with her meagre wages, and he'd done nothing but gripe at her for it. Azula didn't let herself dwell on that for too long. Her royal father would be out of the way soon, and she would be able to set her eyes clearly on her prize once again.

They approached the house, and Azula knocked on the door. After a considerable delay, the bounty hunter woman opened up, scowling.

'Twice in a row,' she grumbled. 'I got more sleep in the Earth Kingdom. What do you want?'

Azula pushed back her hood. 'I have a proposition for you.'

'So did the last one,' the woman replied, but Azula could see her eyes narrow, calculating. 'Fine, come in then.'

Azula entered, Ozai behind her. She didn't waste any time getting to the point.

'I know you accepted a mission from Nemi Turunen yesterday,' she said bluntly. 'I need to know what it was.'

The woman sat on the floor. 'Why should I tell you?' she asked. 'There's such a thing as client confidentiality.'

'You should tell me because I can make it worth your while,' Azula continued, sitting down opposite her.

The bounty hunter rolled her eyes. 'Like I haven't heard that one before.'

'Whatever she's paid you, I can pay double,' Azula pressed. 'Triple, even. I can give you whatever your heart desires from the Fire Nation's coffers.'

Looking Azula up and down, the bounty hunter snorted. 'I very much doubt that.'

Azula thought for a moment, then decided to take the risk. She pushed back her hood, pulling her hair behind her head in a makeshift ponytail. 'Do I look familiar?' she asked.

The woman's eyes narrowed. 'Of course. I'm a bounty hunter, I make it my business to know the faces on all the wanted posters.' Her lips, painted dark, curved into a grin. 'And it's not too hard to guess who the man is with you. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't turn in the ex-Fire Lord and his psychotic daughter for some real money.'

'Because you're looking at the face of the next Fire Lord,' Azula said. 'When I get the throne, you'll have ten times the price on my head.'

'That _when _sounds an awful lot like it should be an _if, _Princess. A big if.' The bounty hunter settled back in her seat.

'I know the Turunen girl wants you to find someone,' Azula replied, ignoring the last sentence. 'I just need to know who it is. And you get an advance of six hundred and thirty gold pieces.'

She heard Ozai mutter behind her. Obviously he was wondering where she'd managed to acquire such a princely sum. Azula smiled to herself at that.

The woman rolled her eyes, but Azula could tell she'd piqued her interest. 'You don't look like you have six hundred and thirty gold on you, but I'll tell you if it gets you out of my room any sooner. She's looking for some woman in the Earth Kingdom.'

'And who might that be?' Azula asked. 'Anyone I know?'

The woman shrugged. 'How should I know? She gave me a physical description - the target's got pale skin, yellow eyes, dark hair, about forty. I'm supposed to give her a letter with the Fire Lord's seal on it before I bring her back.'

It wasn't too hard to put two and two together from that, although Azula was a little curious as to how the Turunen girl had encountered her mother, of all people. She smiled. 'Excellent,' she replied. 'I have a job for you. And then you'll get your advance.' She outlined what she wanted, making the instructions explicit and detailed.

When she'd finished, the bounty hunter whistled. 'That's low.'

'I don't care. I just want it done,' Azula snapped.

'And I thought I had no morals,' the bounty hunter muttered to herself. Then her gaze snapped back to Azula. 'Where's my money, then?'

Azula flicked her gaze to her father, then back to the woman in front of her. 'I'm sure you're aware that my father is without his bending,' she said, and the woman's eyes lit in understanding.

Ozai's sharp intake of breath was painfully loud in the stuffy air of the closed room. Azula turned to him and smiled. 'You were a fool to think you could control me, Father.'

Beneath his hood, her father's wasted features tensed, eyes boiling into unsurpassed rage. 'You will pay for this, Azula,' he snarled.

He turned and rammed the door with his shoulder, splintering through the wood into daylight. Azula spun, but the bounty hunter was already on her feet, a smile on her lips. She put two fingers to her mouth, summoning a piercing whistle, and ran out through the door after Ozai.

Azula followed suit, even as what sounded like massive footsteps thudded rapidly on the roof. Suddenly they were both on the street. A shadow fell over them, as did a strong smell of hair and sweat and animal, and she turned to see a beast the size of the Avatar's bison snuffling in her direction with a nose like a mole's.

The bounty hunter woman whistled again, and the animal's head lifted instantly, turning towards her.

'Get him, Nyla,' she shouted, pointing towards the running Ozai at the other end of the street.

The beast snarled, opening its mouth to expose rows of small pointed teeth, and obeyed its mistress.

It was over in less than a second. Azula saw it spring forward, gaining on her father, and dart out an intimidating spiked tongue which made contact with the small of Ozai's back. The former Fire Lord collapsed, not from the momentum of the strike but seemingly from an inability to move.

The bounty hunter walked at a leisurely pace over to the fallen man, and hoisted him effortlessly over her shoulder. 'You might want to get out of sight before I go to claim this reward,' she called out over her shoulder.

Azula nodded, and made herself scarce. She wondered if a sane person would feel guilty at having removed their own father from the picture, but quickly banished that notion. She herself only felt relieved that Ozai was out of the way now. He'd made it quite clear from the beginning that he wanted to be the one sitting on the throne. He'd never been her ally. In reality, she'd been alone all along.

It was close now, very close. Soon the Fire Nation would salute Fire Lord Azula as its ruler, Zuko and Nemi would be dead, and with all probability so would her father. That was if Zuko decided to grant him the death penalty. Azula knew it was what she would do if she was in Zuko's place. But then, Zuko was the stupid, soft-hearted one of the two of them.

She wondered how soft-hearted he would be towards Nemi when she brought him Mother bleeding and in chains, and smiled to herself.

* * *

I know some people might see this as out of character for Jun, but I've always seen her as more chaotic neutral than anything else - not good or evil, just out for herself and making her own way. She's recognising what Azula's offering to her, and taking it. And this is pretty vital to the plot.

Ozai = down and lolpwned in the face by his own daughter (and Nyla). What do you think? Is he going to get killed off? I won't tell you what I'm leaning towards. I hate spoilers.

I really hoped you liked it! I had fun writing this. Just because it was so…Azula. I did double chapters to make up for the biggish delay. Again…exams. Uugggh.


	46. Have a Heart

If anyone's really squeamish, it's probably a good idea to skip this chapter. It's not for the faint-hearted.

Lol. I made a funny.

* * *

Vivisection

Chapter 46 - Have a Heart

* * *

I could feel the scalpel blade moving slowly through my flesh, cold and sharp and relentless. I gritted my teeth, trying in vain to prevent the scream from escaping. It was a hopeless effort to begin with.

My vocal chords tore themselves to pieces screaming for mercy, and halogen lamps overhead burned my eyes. I tried to close them, and through my eyelids saw dim figures somewhere down near my midsection. My eyes pulled open as far as they would go, and I was greeted with the sight of something pale and glistening and oddly bloodless being pulled out of me by shadowy fingers.

I screamed again, although no screaming could possibly express the extent of this horror and pain, and my head jerked to the side, resting on cold concrete. I saw the slab next to me, the figure on it letting out an agonised wail. In an instant she was closer to me, her head near mine through some accidental overlap of space and time, and I saw Zuko's sister, eyes wide and lips pallid like a frightened child. I felt rather than saw her fingers nudge feebly at the gap between us, and realised even through my own pain that she was trying to reach out to me. I did the same, the muscles in my arm straining weakly against the straps of the vivisection table, and brushed her fingertips with my own just as one of her tormentors reached inside her chest. He - she - it? - paused for a moment, Azula's eyes shut tightly as if willing the sensation to go away.

With a sickening sound that I knew would stay in my head for the rest of my life, however long that was, the creature pulled out her heart, holding it up to the glare of the lamp as if examining it. I saw the silhouette of it, aorta and vena cavae sprouting from it like a macabre crown of thorns, and smelt burning bone. The bone saw was carving through my ribs like they were butter, and agony came again as I felt them reaching for my own heart. Even as I gasped and cried and begged for it to stop, my hand clasped Azula's in a cold limp grip, and I stared into her eyes, wide and amber and glassy and somehow still alive.

Suddenly everything was very dark and warm, and I felt the cage of Zuko's arms around me. For a moment he felt alien, and I struggled, fighting him. He just held me tighter, whispering into my hair, and slowly my mind diffused back into reality. I pressed my fingers too hard into my belly just above my navel, as if the unbroken skin was an illusion which might fade away.

Zuko was silent now, holding me very tightly. I buried my face in his shoulder, just breathing in and out, counting the seconds in between.

'How are you feeling?' he asked me finally, and I shivered, even though it had to be thirty degrees Celsius at least.

'I've been better,' I replied, wrapping my arms around him. There was nothing sexual about it, even though he was shirtless and I wasn't wearing much. It wasn't even an affectionate hug. He was solid and _there,_ and I latched onto him, wanting to never let go.

Zuko pressed his lips against my forehead, and I felt something wet trickle down past my eyebrow. I realised he was crying, and that made me start tearing up too. I wanted to tell him that I loved him, to say how much he meant to me, but my tongue sat clumsy and heavy in my mouth, not forming the words. Instead I found his hand, and squeezed his fingers mutely. Zuko seemed to understand that.

We lay down together, facing each other over a short distance of pillow. Our hands stayed the way they were, his fingers tracing the inside of my palm. I could feel the tears leaking out of my eyes, as if something was broken inside my head. I supposed that much was true.

As time passed, moonlight entered the room through the window, landing on the spot between our heads. Zuko stared at me silently, tears tracing silver trails down his face. It surprised me a little that his scarred eye was still able to cry. The way we were, lying down facing each other, reminded me of Azula in the dream. I tried not to think about her too much, but it was hard with Zuko in front of me. She looked so much like her brother, the same eyes and features and hair.

Slowly and eventually dawn came and the sun replaced the moon, pinkish light dissolving through the air in the room. Zuko sat up, pulling me into his lap, and I rested my cheek on his shoulder. I raised my right hand to my face, wiping the tear tracks away.

'Do you have to do anything today?' I asked him, my voice rough and hoarse in my throat as if I'd forgotten how to use it.

Zuko looked away from me, at the other side of the room. 'Yes. But - I think it'd be better if you didn't come with me.'

'Why not?' I blinked, feeling the tears start to come back. _Get a grip, _I tried to tell myself, but the logical side of me seemed to be lacking in conviction this early in the morning.

Zuko hugged me again. 'It's not that I don't want to be around you,' he murmured, one hand moving to the back of my head. 'It's just not something I want you to see.'

'What is it?' I asked, moving my hand to his cheek, tracing the outline of his scar.

Zuko sighed. 'Do you remember the assassin that came after me?'

I nodded, and he continued. 'After the soldiers found out who sent her and knew that it wasn't my sister, she was sentenced to death. It's her execution today, and I have to be there when they do it.'

I breathed in slowly.

'It's regarded as the ultimate crime in the Fire Nation,' Zuko said, mistaking my silence for disapproval. 'The Fire Nation's intensely loyal to its ruler. Anyone who tries to assassinate the Fire Lord pays the ultimate price. Sometimes they get life imprisonment, but that's only if the assassin's an immediate member of the royal family. It's the oldest law in this country.'

'I'll come with you,' I said, surprising myself.

Zuko looked at me, concern in his eyes. 'Are you sure? The entire court's going to be there. But no one will actually expect you to go -'

'-Because I'm not one of them,' I finished without any bitterness. 'It's okay. I can handle it.'

'I guess we'd better hurry, then,' he replied. 'The execution's scheduled for an hour past dawn.'

We dressed in silence, leaving the room. Zuko led me through corridors I couldn't remember to a part of the palace I'd never been in before. We paused before he finally entered the room.

It looked like a sort of arena. A vast square expanse of tiles filled most of the room. The rest was taken up by the Fire Nation's courtiers. I felt a little nauseous as I saw the rows of seats filled with well-dressed men and women. I wondered why they weren't wearing white - wasn't that the Fire Nation colour of mourning? Someone had told me it was - then realised that they would hardly grieve at the passing of a criminal.

_I didn't know executions were a spectator sport now,_ I thought to myself. There were two thrones at the far end of the room, both simply carved and wooden without the ceremony of the one in Zuko's council room. Zuko sat in one, and motioned for me to sit in the other. I did so with considerable reservation. It was obvious that this throne was for the Fire Lady, and I had any number of qualms about the message this would send to the crowd.

I snapped myself out of it. This was an _execution,_ for God's sake. No one would care about my seating arrangements.

Two of the firebender soldiers wearing the white skull-masks walked in where Zuko and I had come in. To my relief, they weren't carrying the assassin between them. They were carrying what looked like a wooden block with handcuffs either side.

I guessed this meant a beheading, and felt myself pale. Who was I kidding? Of course I couldn't handle this. I'd been the one to sit out of biology class when they were doing dissections. I hadn't been able to watch the _Saw _movies. And now I was about to sit through a beheading.

The crowd stilled, and more firebender soldiers walked in. They moved into formation around the perimeter of the tiled area, standing at attention. Behind them, at the end of the line, two boys at about the age of twelve were carrying drums, beating on them with steady and sombre rhythm.

These kids were going to watch it too, I realised. And I could hear someone's baby crying. Jesus Christ, what kind of sick fuck brings their _baby _to an execution?

After a few minutes, a man of about sixty-five entered, head raised. He looked tall to me, but part of that was probably the strange red hat on his head. I guessed he was a priest of some sort. He moved to the right of the block, and waited with his hands folded.

It was then that they brought in the Earth Kingdom assassin. Two guards were manhandling her, one on each side. She looked surprisingly clean for a prisoner. She, at least, had been given white to wear. Her face looked thin, her hair cropped clumsily and short.

She was forced down into the block, her hands fastened into the cuffs. The priest-man began to speak.

'Here we are gathered, on the fifth day of the seventh cycle of the moon of this year the second after Sozin's comet, to bear witness to the fate of Lin Su Kamaitachi of the Earth Kingdom.' His voice was flat, virtually expressionless. He turned to address the girl. I guessed she was a little older than me, maybe in her early twenties.

'Miss Lin Su Kamaitachi. You are charged with the crimes of attempted regicide with regards to Fire Lord Zuko, and the assault and wounding of his bodyguard, Nemi Turunen.'

I was surprised that he'd bothered to mention me. I wondered if it was due to the fact that I was Zuko's girlfriend now. Blackly, I realised that was probably it.

'You have been found guilty at the scene of the crime. If you have any evidence to present in your defense, present it now.' The man paused.

The assassin-girl was silent.

He continued. 'In your silence you acknowledge that you have committed the crime, and accept the consequences. You are sentenced to be burned alive until dead. Do you have anything you wish to say?'

The girl looked up at him, her eyes blank and glassy, just like Azula's in the dream, and shook her head. I remembered that she'd been prepared to die for her cause, Zuko had said there was a poison capsule found under her tongue. Did that make it right?

'In attempting to extinguish the flame at the heart of our nation,' the priest intoned, 'so you shall die by the wrath of its fire.'

The firebender soldiers stepped forward, and it began.

To her credit, the girl didn't scream. At least, I didn't hear any screaming. My mind painted the awful picture of her mouth open in a silent shriek even as her flesh blackened and peeled, blood and tissue boiling underneath. I was left to my imagination, because I couldn't bring myself to open my eyes and watch.

I had to breathe through my mouth, because otherwise my nostrils were filled with a smell which was horribly like cooking meat. I could hear the greedy crackling of the flames, licking at her and consuming her. It seemed to last for an eternity, and then finally the noise stopped.

For a long time I was afraid to open my eyes. It was only when I felt Zuko's hand on my shoulder that I had the courage.

We left the room. I didn't dare let go of my stilted breathing until we were far away from it.

'Did you watch?' I asked Zuko in a whisper.

He paused before he answered me. 'Yes. I had to.'

Of course he did, he couldn't afford to show any squeamishness in front of the court. I knew that.

'I'm sorry,' he said after a while. 'I shouldn't have let you go in there. I don't know what I was thinking.'

'It's okay,' I mumbled, letting him put his arm around my waist. We walked in silence for a few more minutes. I remembered the dream-Azula, and almost asked him if she would end up on death row when she was captured. Then I remembered that she was royalty.

I was tired, and really just wanted to sleep, but I kept walking, trying to let Zuko believe I was okay.

I had the feeling that I really wasn't fooling anyone, though.

* * *

Oh, I just remembered. I would like to put thank yous to all my faithful reviewers/readers in this chapter. A special thank you to **Moonlight1405 **and **.cake,** for your regular reviews and general awesomeness. And again, I wish to express my gratitude to **Skizzorsaregangsta. **Without you, it's unlikely that I would have remembered that this fanfiction existed.


	47. Déjà Vu

AAARGH. I apologise profusely for the massive delay, which was due to my family dragging me to some random place in Queensland for three weeks. Not only is there no mobile phone reception, but there is also...

No freaking Internet.

* * *

Vivisection

Chapter 47 - Déjà Vu

* * *

Zuko sat slumped at his desk.

Although Lisana was very consistently acting as if she was fine, he wasn't buying it. Again he cursed himself for letting her go in the execution room. Why in Agni's name hadn't he forced her to stay away?

Zuko knew the answer to that question - Lisana would have ignored him and gone anyway. But that didn't make him feel any better.

When the Kamaitachi girl had been burning alive he had looked to his left, to Lisana, and seen her eyes shut impossibly tight. Zuko had felt horribly guilty as he'd turned his face back towards the burning woman, watching as he was expected to do.

It had been his first Fire Nation execution too, but at least he'd known what was coming, even experienced it himself in part. Zuko reached up to touch the scarred flesh encircling his left eye, and lowered his head onto the desk.

If he was being completely honest with himself, he knew it wasn't just the execution that was lingering in Lisana's mind. The nightmares were wearing down on her. Zuko knew that the plants Katara had given Lisana for dreamless sleep when she'd been injured had worked, but there had to be a solution that didn't involve making her drink some noxious herbal brew every night before she went to sleep.

Someone knocked on his door, and Zuko slowly lifted his head, seriously considering telling whoever it was to go away.

'Fire Lord Zuko! This is a matter of national security!'

Zuko walked over to the door and opened it. An anxious-looking Fire Nation military officer was standing in front of him. Zuko glanced at his uniform and guessed him to be of commander rank or above. His heart sank. Whatever had happened to make a commander look this edgy was probably bad news.

'What is it?' he asked.

'Fire Lord, sir, your father Ozai has been turned in. By a bounty hunter, sir. You requested to be notified immediately if he was found.'

For a few seconds Zuko stared at the man, dumbstruck. Then his mind switched on again.

'What has been done?'

The man looked down at his feet. 'For now we have him in one of the palace holding cells. Ultimately what happens to him is up to you, Fire Lord.'

'And the bounty hunter? You gave him his reward?'

'One of the councilmen - an admiral - did so, sir,' the commander stammered. 'I do not have sufficient security clearance to be permitted into the treasury. The bounty hunter has been paid her due, and has left.'

_Her. _Zuko noticed the bounty hunter's gender and wondered briefly if it was the same bounty hunter he'd once hired to track down the Avatar. Probably not. There were thousands of bounty hunters, and many of those were women.

'I will go to see my father now,' he said, leaving his room. 'You are dismissed.'

The commander hurriedly left. Clearly he had no desire to witness the confrontation which would doubtlessly follow the former Fire Lord's capture and reimprisonment.

Zuko thought of something. 'Wait,' he said to the officer, who paused. 'Yes, sire?'

'Have you seen -' For a heartstopping moment Zuko almost used her real name. '- Nemi Turunen anywhere?'

The commander turned. 'I believe she is in the palace courtyard, Fire Lord, training with Captain Aizen's squad.'

Zuko nodded and thanked him, and the man bowed and left.

He arrived at the courtyard. Although Captain Jilan Aizen herself was nowhere to be seen, twenty or so men in black training pants were shifting their way through various fighting stances. Lisana was among them at the back, her long yellow-gold hair in its ponytail a beacon highlighting her presence.

The man at the front of the group - who was obviously leading the training session - paused as he saw Zuko, and bowed in the Fire Nation fashion almost immediately afterwards. 'What is it, my lord?' he asked.

'I need to speak to Nemi,' Zuko replied, glancing at Lisana. She weaved her way through the group towards him, a questioning look on her face. As soon as they were out of sight of the bandit squad, Zuko told her about Ozai's capture.

Lisana's eyes widened. 'Do they have Azula as well? Or just your dad?'

'It's just my father. But he probably knows where Azula is,' Zuko muttered. 'And he's going to talk.'

She frowned. 'I have to say that from what I've heard about the former Fire Lord Ozai, that's not likely. Why would he just tell you where Azula is?'

'He's _captured,'_ Zuko pointed out. 'He hardly has anywhere to go.'

'Didn't you say you tried to get him to tell you where your mother was when he was in prison?' Lisana rebutted.

That reminded Zuko of something, that comment Lisana had made about knowing how to find Ursa or some such. He opened his mouth to broach the subject, but they had already reached the holding cells.

The former ruler of the Fire Nation was in the cell nearest the door. Obviously the soldiers expected to be moving him in the near future, even though Zuko hadn't yet made a decision as to his father's fate.

He took a closer look at the man in the cell, and was stunned. The prisoner bore only a slight resemblance to the man who had once sat on the throne of the Fire Nation and declared himself the Phoenix King. Ozai had lost an unhealthy amount of weight. His lank hair hung in his eyes, and his fingernails were ingrained with dirt.

At first Zuko was taken aback, feeling almost ashamed at seeing his father in such a state of disrepair. Then he pulled himself together.

'Where is Azula?' he demanded.

Ozai laughed, a dull hollow laugh, and raised his head. 'How should I know?' His eyes fell on Lisana. 'Is this the girlfriend I've heard so much about?' Zuko saw Ozai look her up and down, taking particular notice of the long legs left exposed by her training shorts, and his own hand tightened into a fist. Lisana made a noise of disgust in her throat.

'I'm not messing around, _Father,_' Zuko snapped. 'You _know_ where my sister is.'

'Actually, I don't.' Ozai met his eyes, and it was as if Zuko could see the not-quite-stable mind behind them. 'It's unfortunate, really. I'd be more than happy to tell you.'

'Why's that?' It was Lisana, sounding more than a little surprised.

'All those years I despised you, Zuko, for hating and fearing your younger sister,' Ozai murmured. 'It turns out you were right all along. The little bitch stabbed me in the back and turned me over to that bounty hunter.' He spat out the word _bitch _like it was a bad taste in his mouth.

'So you're no longer allied with Azula, and you don't know where she is.' Zuko felt frustrated. He'd been awaiting Ozai's capture for the chance it would provide to get a real lead on Azula.

'What's the point in having him here then?' Lisana interrupted.

Zuko turned to look at her. 'What do you mean?'

'You wanted him to give you information, which he doesn't have,' she said, looking at Ozai with contempt. 'All he's doing in the palace is taking up space and being an unnecessary security risk. Why not just transfer him to the highest-security prison in the Fire Nation?'

'You think I should dump him in the Boiling Rock?' Zuko asked.

Lisana shrugged. 'If that's the highest-security prison -'

'I never said I didn't have information,' Ozai interjected. 'I just don't know where Azula is.' There was something which sounded like desperation in his voice, and Zuko knew why. The Boiling Rock, full of thousands of prisoners and criminals who had had their sentences personally delivered to them by Ozai, couldn't be a good prospect for his father.

'What information do you have that could help me?' Although he kept his tone sceptical, Zuko wondered privately if perhaps Ozai could be of some use to him after all.

One of his soldiers approached. 'Fire Lord, sir, if you wish to transfer the prisoner to the Boiling Rock there is a prison barge due to depart in half an hour.'

'No!' Ozai held up his hands, looking uncharacteristically alarmed, and Zuko wondered at how much a stretch in prison had changed his father. 'Wait! I have information - I know Azula's plans -'

Zuko glanced at the soldier. 'Let him speak.'

The man bowed. 'As you wish, Fire Lord Zuko. Although I must inform you that you will need to make your decision soon. We will need time to transport him to the harbour safely.'

'You heard him,' Lisana told Ozai. 'If you're going to give us intel, you'd better do it fast.'

Ozai breathed in deeply, obviously trying to calm himself down. Then he looked up at Zuko and began to speak. 'Your sister is looking for someone. Some woman, I don't know who. I never heard a name. She was going to use me to pay for it - that was how she paid the bounty hunter.' He fell silent at that, brow creased, obviously trying to think of something else to say.

Zuko breathed out in a sigh. He looked down at the man in the cell and for a moment he remembered the man he'd tried his whole life to please. He remembered spending two years in exile, wanting Ozai to love and accept him. He had searched for his father's affection, something which should have been unconditional.

Looking down at Ozai now, he felt a strange pity for him. It was a completely irrational feeling, of course - had Zuko been the one in the cell, Ozai certainly wouldn't have felt anything like pity for him. But Zuko felt remorse nagging in the back of his head. The man was his _father, _after all -

No. Not after all. Some things were unforgivable, especially the things Ozai had done.

'This information - if you could even _call _it that - is completely useless to me,' Zuko said. 'You don't know where Azula is, you don't know any of her plans for the near future in any detail.' He made his voice cold and hard. The last thing Ozai needed was to hear any imagined sympathy in his voice. 'You don't even know who it is she's looking for. You know nothing, and Lisana's right. There's no point in keeping you here.' He turned to the soldier. 'Prepare to transfer the prisoner,' he ordered.

The soldier bowed again. 'Yes, sir.'

Zuko left the room, the door closing on Ozai's pleas. Lisana moved next to him, the two of them walking in silence.

When they reached daylight again he spoke. 'Do you think I was too harsh?' he asked her.

Lisana looked at him, puzzled. 'Of course not. I would have done the same thing if I were you. After all he's put you through -' Her expression changed to one of understanding. 'You feel guilty about it, don't you?'

Zuko sighed. 'I know I shouldn't.'

She slipped her fingers into his hand. 'You took the logical course of action,' she said, looking up at him. 'There's no shame in that. It makes sense that you'd feel as if throwing your own father in prison again is the wrong thing to do. But you put that feeling aside. And that's good.' She wrinkled her brow. 'It was that kind of emotional gut reaction that let him walk all over you for sixteen years of your life.'

'I guess you're right,' Zuko replied.

'Although,' Lisana said, looking thoughtful, 'I'd like to know who it is Azula's supposedly looking for. But I suppose Ozai was probably just lying to try and get himself out of the Boiling Rock.'

'Probably,' Zuko agreed, lapsing into silence.


	48. Smile for the Camera

**Vivisection**

**Chapter 48 - Smile for the Camera**

**I leaned forward to pour the tea, but Jilan stopped me. 'Let me do that,' she said, taking the teapot from me and carefully pouring some of it into my cup. **

**I flushed. I understood what she was doing, and knew that the presence of the maids in the room made it necessary, but I still found it horribly embarrassing. Technically speaking, I held the highest position in the unofficial Fire Nation social hierarchy save Zuko's. Apparently being the Fire Lord's significant other - even his **_**unmarried **_**significant other - trumped everything else. Even Iroh showed deference to me now, albeit only at the most formal of state functions. The number of random politicians talking to me and introducing me to their families at dinner parties had increased exponentially. On top of that, I was supposed to take some tour of the capital city today, which would officially introduce me to the public as Zuko's girlfriend. **

**Jilan glanced at me. 'Is something wrong?'**

**I shook my head. 'No. No, of course not.'**

**I'd asked Jilan if she wanted to have tea with me this morning before my introduction to the people of the Fire Nation, and she'd agreed. I knew that the upper social echelon of the Fire Nation privately considered me to be an outsider who was beneath them. Even I, who was crap at reading people, could tell that the generals and admirals and minor lords and their lady wives were only schmoozing with me because I was on Zuko's arm. So I'd decided to tone down the "controversial" stuff I did, like contributing to Fire Nation politics, and instead do some of the stuff that the court ladies did in their spare time, like having tea with a friend. **

'**Did I tell you that I was leaving tomorrow?' Jilan asked, taking a sip of her tea. **

'**No,' I replied. 'Why are you leaving?'**

'**My squad's been asked to investigate another possible military separatist,' Jilan answered, putting her tea cup down. 'There've been reports of Earth Kingdom towns on the west coast being harassed by soldiers in Fire Navy uniform. Our relations with the Earth Kingdom are shaky enough as it is.'**

'**Tell me about it,' I muttered. The general consensus among the wider public seemed to be that I'd been born in the Earth Kingdom. That assumption hadn't done me any favours in the Fire Nation court. **

'**If you ask me, that's what the council needs to be working on,' Jilan said, looking at me. 'I suppose you know better than I do what goes on in the council chamber, but I've heard they're mostly debating over the Fire Nation's economy.'**

'**That seems to be what it is,' I agreed. 'I haven't been that involved with policy recently.' That was a bit of a white lie. It was true that I hadn't contributed to any of the council room discussions, but I'd been in there for the duration of each and every one. The councilmen were concerned mostly with trading shipping routes to the outer Fire Nation islands. There'd only been one brief mention of the escaped Princess Azula - everyone seemed to think she wasn't much of a threat now that her father was incarcerated. I thought differently, but there wasn't exactly a lot of evidence to back up my opinion. Azula hadn't shown her face since the day she'd destroyed the servants' quarters and fought Zuko. **

'**The alliance between the Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom is very strained right now,' Jilan told me, her face earnest. 'It's more strained than most people know. Of course there's nothing going on visibly, but it's all the little things. Earth Kingdom cargo ships "accidentally" damaging Fire Nation merchant vessels, Fire Nation ex-military personnel being framed and arrested for petty crimes in Ba Sing Se, Fire Nation children stoning an old Earth Kingdom man to death.'**

'**What do you think it is?' I asked. 'Lingering tension from the war?'**

**Jilan sighed. 'I'm guessing so. The Earth Kingdom's proud and strong, even our own soldiers admitted that during the war. Ba Sing Se was the impenetrable city, the thing they kept telling us we'd never be able to touch, and we shoved that back in their faces by invading and occupying it. The Earth Kingdom doesn't take kindly to humiliation and defeat. Nobody does. And the Fire Nation -' She raised her fingers in quotation marks. '**_**Fire, the superior element. **_**That was what we all had pushed down our throats in school, ever since we were old enough to speak the Fire Nation pledge. So many people still don't know any different.'**

'**Superior element?' I wrinkled my nose. 'Where'd they get that from?'**

'**Probably Sozin the Conqueror,' Jilan replied. 'Charming guy, really lovely person. He came up with the wonderful idea of killing dragons for sport. Superior element?' She snorted. 'I don't see any of the other nations hunting down the ancient bending masters of **_**their **_**elements and hanging their heads as trophies on the living room wall.'**

'**He was the one who killed the airbenders, wasn't he?' I asked. **

'**Killed all the airbenders except for one, then he went and killed all the dragons, and it's pretty much certain that he killed the Avatar before Avatar Aang,' Jilan said. 'He did a lot of killing.'**

**There was a knock at the drawing room door. 'Come in,' I called out, and a young boy entered, dressed in a messenger's uniform. **

**He bowed to me in the Fire Nation style, then to Jilan, not quite as low. 'Apologies for disturbing you,' he murmured. 'Lady Turunen, the Fire Lord and his uncle General Iroh request that you join them at the front of the palace.'**

**I breathed out. 'That would be the guided tour. Sorry, Captain Jilan. I'm going to have to leave.'**

'**Not at all.' Jilan rose just as I did and sank into a bow, which I returned before leaving the room. **

**I was more than a little nervous about my official public introduction to the people of the Fire Nation. I'd dressed carefully this morning, part of my hair twisted into a topknot at the back of my head while the rest of it hung loose down my back. It was a hot day, as per usual, and the dress I was wearing left my arms and neck bare. It was red silk stitched with gold, long but not too formal, and it was surprisingly easy to run in. **

**I reached the outside of the palace, taking a moment to catch my breath, and walked towards Zuko and Iroh. They were standing in front of what I assumed was the palantine, a red-and-gold monstrosity with the curtains pulled back for us to enter. Four bearers were standing near it, one at each corner. **

'**Nemi,' Iroh greeted me, bowing. 'You look lovely.'**

'**Thank you,' I replied. Zuko took my arm, kissing me on the cheek. 'You took a compliment,' he whispered into my ear. 'Are you feeling all right?' **

**I elbowed him. 'Just get on the damn palantine.' **

**He did so, gesturing for me to join him. I looked back at Iroh, who was still standing near the palace. 'Isn't he coming?' I asked. **

**Zuko shook his head. 'No, it's just us.'**

**I climbed in and felt the bearers lift the palantine, carrying us out the palace gates. **

'**Those poor men,' I commented. 'Aren't there any horses or anything we could ride?'**

'**I don't think you'd be able to stay on a rhino,' he replied. **

**I felt my eyes widen. 'Hang on. You people ride - rhinos?'**

'**Well, not really. They're used in the army.' Zuko looked amused. 'I thought you knew about the rhinos.'**

**I shook my head. 'Just when I thought I'd seen all the weirdness this place has to offer.'**

**The palantine stopped for a moment, and I heard the gates opening. **

'**Are you ready for this?' Zuko asked me. **

**I snorted. 'Why wouldn't I be? All I have to do is sit here and look pretty, right?'**

**Zuko leaned forward and pushed the curtains aside. 'Not quite.'**

**I was met with the sight of the streets of the Fire Nation capital city - full of people. I saw a young mother near the palantine holding up her little boy, and I blanched. **

'**Oh shit,' I whispered, drawing closer to Zuko. 'I'm not good with people.'**

'**It's all right,' he said, putting his hand on my shoulder. 'Calm down. They like you.'**

**Sure enough, applause was travelling in waves through the crowd. Scattered groups of people began to cheer, and soon the crowd had raised its collective voice in a deafening roar. The little boy I'd noticed earlier stretched out a hand, waving to me. Stunned, I waved back, remembering to smile just when he turned to look at me. **

'**Wow, they really do like me,' I murmured to Zuko. 'I expected them to hate me like the court does.' I left the question in my voice, hoping he'd answer it. **

'**It's because **_**they **_**like **_**me,'**_** he explained. 'They want me to be happy, and it's been so long since Mai. They want a little prince or princess, and they want a pretty Fire Lady who'll give me an heir.'**

**My stomach turned over a little at the mention of marriage. Ignoring it, I asked, 'Did they go this crazy over Mai?' I glanced at Zuko just as he looked away. **

'**Not really,' he replied. 'She wasn't really someone the people of the Fire Nation could -' He paused there, as if unwilling to finish the sentence. **

'**Like?' I completed it for him, tacking an audible question mark on the end. **

'**Yes.' **

**I smiled and waved some more, still astonished at how popular I was with the Fire Nation public. **

'**Mai didn't do that,' Zuko said, sounding - Morose? I couldn't tell. **

**I turned around. 'Should I stop acknowledging them? Is that bad?'**

**He shook his head, slowly. 'No. I just meant - maybe that's why she was never really popular with the public. She didn't smile that much, didn't really make an effort to interact with them. They - bored her.'**

'**You know, this is actually kind of funny,' I said, turning back around to face outside the palantine. **

'**How?'**

'**Well, I'm the most socially awkward person I know, and yet the general public of the Fire Nation loves me because I interact with them,' I replied. That got a laugh out of him, at least. **

'**I guess it's also because - you're not noble-born. You're a normal person, just like them,' he continued. 'And there's nothing special about you.'**

**I rounded on him. 'Hey!'**

**Zuko raised his hands in apology. 'I didn't mean it like that. What I **_**meant **_**was that you can't bend, you're not some sort of foreign princess, you're not a predetermined arranged marriage from a family of power. You're just you.'**

**I smiled at him. 'Aww, that's sweet. They like me for being me.'**

'**And then there's your physical appeal.' He smiled suggestively back. **

**I turned around again. 'Okay, I'm going to ignore you now.'**

'**I suppose you're right,' he mused. 'No one's allowed to notice that except for me.'**

'**You can notice all you want once we get back to the palace,' I answered, inserting some suggestiveness of my own into my voice, 'but for now we are out and about, and so are families with small children. Therefore we're going to keep this G-rated for now.'**

**Zuko laughed, even though I knew he couldn't possibly have any idea what a G-rating was, and the palantine continued on through the city. **


	49. Stabs in the Back

Vivisection

Chapter 49 - Stab(s) in the Back

* * *

Azula lay in her narrow bed, stretching her legs. She was unable to get comfortable on the lumpy mattress. She tried to comfort herself with the thought that soon enough, the royal suite currently belonging to Fire Lord Zuko would be hers. Strangely, it didn't seem to work.

She slipped her hand inside her pillow, pulling out the scroll. Although the moonlight which streamed in through the narrow window just above her head was barely bright enough to read by, Azula knew the words on the paper by heart.

_Delivery is tomorrow. Don't worry, the goods are in exactly the condition you specified. I hate to say this, but you may have actually forced me to grow a conscience. I do this with a surprisingly heavy heart, but you're paying me well for it - at least, you'd better. _

If she looked carefully, Azula could just make out the spiral mark of the snake the bounty hunter had doodled on the corner of the paper - the same tattoo the woman had borne on her upper arm. The message had come by hawk for Azula that morning - fortunately she had been outside in the palace grounds on her break when that had happened.

She cared nothing for the rest of the note, only the first two sentences. Her plan was set to fall carefully into place. Even fortune was favouring her this time around - it seemed the Fire Nation's princess had gotten her famous luck back.

Azula had thought about possible ways to eliminate General Aizen's daughter. Captain Jilan Aizen had been there when Nemi Turunen had made her request of the bounty hunter, curse her. She was an eyewitness, and a reputable one at that - although her choice of career was somewhat unconventional, she was still respected and honoured as the future heir to one of the most powerful estates in the Fire Nation, as well as being a competent captain. She had been in that room and heard what Nemi had said to the bounty hunter, and so she would have to be gotten rid of.

But the Captain had conveniently removed herself from the Fire Nation, and was probably in the Earth Kingdom by now. Azula had overheard that conversation between Jilan Aizen and Nemi Turunen herself about a week ago. Posing as a maid definitely had its advantages as far as eavesdropping went. It was amazing what a difference short hair made. Azula had been _in the drawing room, _standing at attention near the wall, and even then Nemi had failed to recognise her, or even notice her.

Admittedly Azula had thought at one point the game was up. That was when the Turunen girl, her brother's clumsy whore, had bumped into her outside the dining hall when she'd been sent there to clean. She had glanced up into Nemi's face under her hair, seen the look on the other girl's face, and thought for a moment she had been recognised.

But no, she had been safe then, and she had been safe in the drawing room, and she had even been safe in Zuko's room.

It would be poetic justice, she had thought, to murder the Fire Lord with his own double broadswords, and so this afternoon she had undertaken the attempt to steal them.

The guards at the foot of his suite had seen Azula's maid uniform and the stack of fresh sheets which helpfully obscured her face, and parted their spears to let her through. From there it had been a simple matter to slip into Zuko's room - her brother was a fool really, for a Fire Lord to leave his bedroom door unlocked was unforgivable, even if there were guards at the entrance and exit to his rooms. The broadswords had been on the wall at the far end of the room, layered with a thick coating of dust. Azula doubted they would be missed by tomorrow. She had changed the bed, taking the old sheets and bundling up the swords in them. No one had given her a second glance as she carried the mass of sheets to the laundry.

They were hidden in her mattress now. Azula knew she would have the skill to wield them when the time came. Anything Zuko could do she could do better, and in any case she was still strong and agile. Even the time she'd spent languishing in a mental asylum couldn't undo fourteen years of hard training.

Yes, she knew everything Zuko could do, every trick he could pull. Azula knew the inside of his head like it was her own, and she knew how to manipulate him to do exactly as she wanted.

That was the beauty of her plan. Azula herself had to do very little. She knew that the key to Zuko's sanity, his one weak link, was his mother. And when Zuko saw his mother and knew - or believed - that Nemi was to blame, then he would go over the edge.

Azula knew what was going to happen as well as if it were some play, and she the playwright. Zuzu would attack his beloved, she would defend herself, and in the midst of it all Azula would slay her brother with his own swords. The commotion would occur somewhere private. She knew Zuko would want to keep the matter private. When Azula dropped the swords, and pointed the finger of blame at Nemi, they would all believe her.

Azula knew of the Fire Nation's desire for an heir, the belief that Nemi Turunen was an unsuitable consort for the Fire Lord and an unsuitable mother for a royal child, and most of all she knew that many of the Fire Nation's top-ranking generals and politicians secretly believed she was still capable of brilliance and wanted her back.

Once Zuko was dead and Nemi executed, the Fire Nation would follow Azula as the last surviving member of the royal family. It would be easy to say that Zuko had discredited her with an accusation of false madness. She would be respected, no, _worshipped,_ once more as was her due.

But Azula couldn't help but feel a little -

She stopped her mind as it was about to think the word _guilty. _She could not feel guilt, it was an alien emotion to her.

And yet she did.

Azula tried not to remember the dream she'd had, blurred in a haze of distance and sleep but still branded on the face of her mind's eye. She tried to tell herself that seeing Nemi Turunen's face and holding her hand, cold and damp like a corpse's through the awful pain, had been a fancy conjured up by her own stressed (she refused to think _unstable_) mind. She tried not to remember her own words, so long ago. _It's terrible when you can't trust the people closest to you. _

She tried to tell herself that to blame Nemi Turunen for Zuko's death was of no consequence. She tried to tell herself that sacrificing Nemi Turunen's life to repair her own wouldn't come back to haunt her.

Somehow, she couldn't manage to sound convincing.


	50. Master Passion Greed

This was really intense to write. It was like I hit myself over the head with a hammer. Oh my God. I hope this turns out half as awesome as it feels like it is.

* * *

Vivisection

Chapter 50 - Master Passion Greed

* * *

I sat in a secluded corner of the courtyard, perched on the stone bench of a fountain, twirling a strand of hair from my ponytail around my finger.

I counted the days in my head again. I wanted to be sure there was no mistake, and there wasn't. My period was definitely two days late. Two days and counting.

_Idiot, you're just being paranoid, _I thought to myself. _You've been a couple of days under and over before. _

_But you weren't having sex then, _a nasty voice at the base of my brain said. It sounded reptilian, almost, and I mentally slapped it for screwing with my head.

_It's impossible and you know it, _I snapped back. _I've been taking the little purple plant every day. So just shut up. _

The reptile in my head didn't say anything, just curled its tail around my amygdala and squeezed.

'Is something wrong?' I saw Zuko approaching and instantly felt nauseous.

'No,' I replied, moving so he could sit beside me. It wasn't even a lie. I had no real proof that I might be -

_No. Do NOT think the P-word. _

'I got another message from Aang and Katara this morning,' Zuko told me, sitting down. 'They're apologising for the delay. They say they'll be here in a couple of days.'

'Really?' I said absently. 'Why's there a delay?'

'Apparently the weather's too bad for Appa to fly. Are you sure there's nothing -'

Zuko broke off, staring at something behind my head.

I turned to look, and the nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach grew stronger.

Most of the Fire Nation court was standing there, but that wasn't what caught my attention. A man in green that I'd never seen before was walking towards me. I wasn't sure how I knew he was headed towards me and not Zuko. It definitely wasn't his facial expression, which was solemn but blank. Maybe it was my own human sixth sense, the thing blaring in my head and screaming that what was happening right now was very, very bad. Even the reptile in my brain had run for cover.

I noticed, with a kind of abstract vagueness, that the man in green was unshaven and had a cheap copper ring through one ear. I wondered absently who had let him into the palace grounds.

It was then that I saw the woman behind him.

Even through the purple thundercloud of a bruise swelling on her cheek and forehead, I recognised her. The fingers of one hand were bent oddly, and I realised they were broken. Her lip was split and bleeding, another rivulet of blood seeping from her nose. Both eyes were closed, as if even the dim afternoon light in the courtyard was too bright to bear. Her wrists were bound, the man in green pulling her along behind him with the remainder of the chain.

_Oh shit, _I thought, even though that could hardly begin to cover it. Somehow, it had all gone horribly wrong.

Zuko stood, walking around the fountain towards the woman. 'Mother,' he whispered, his voice cracking on the last syllable.

The man in green ignored him, continuing towards me. I stood up as well, my hands half raised in front of me as if to protect myself from whatever was coming.

He stopped, and the woman paused. She swayed on her feet, a drunken sway almost, and collapsed.

'Nemi Turunen.' He bowed. 'I bring you Princess Ursa, in the condition you requested, and I thank you for paying me in advance.'

I pressed my hand to my mouth, knuckles first. I thought for one wild moment I was going to vomit, and then the feeling passed. The man's voice had a nasal, stilted quality to it.

The murmuring of the court reverberated throughout the air. Of course they had let this impostor in, I realised with dark clarity. They had all wanted to witness my spectacular fall from grace.

'Who paid you?' I hardly realised the words had come from my own mouth. The voice speaking them was a squeaky croak.

The man looked puzzled. 'Why, you paid me. And a handsome sum it was too.' His lips curved upwards in a smile. 'Now, with your permission, I shall leave and spend it.'

'But -' I started, only to be interrupted.

'He will leave us.' The voice was dark, thunderous, and no one would have dared think to argue with it. I hardly recognised it. Zuko turned to face me, and I fought the urge to run as far and as fast as I could. His eyes were blazing. I had thought he was angry the day Iroh had first introduced him to me. This new rage in his face made that look like a candle against noonday.

'You will _all _leave us.'

The court instantly fell silent. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw them begin to file out of the courtyard. I fixed my eyes back on Zuko's, trying to make him see. _I didn't do this, how could you possibly think I would do this?_

Looking into his eyes was like looking into the heart of a star about to go supernova. The man standing in front of me wasn't Zuko. This wasn't the man I'd grown to love against my better judgement, this wasn't the man I'd given my virginity to. This was the Fire Lord, and I was terrified of him and of what he was going to do to me.

'I told you to _leave!'_ he bellowed. For a moment I thought he was talking to me, and turned. Then I saw the servant girl, and realised I was safe - for the moment, at least.

I saw the short dark hair hanging in her eyes, and realised it was the girl I'd walked into outside the dining room so long ago. I ignored her, turning back to Zuko, although the sight of her set even more mental alarm bells ringing.

'I don't know who that man was, I've never seen him in my life,' I pleaded. 'You know me. You know I wouldn't do anything like this.' To my horror, I felt tears springing to my eyes. 'I paid a woman to look for her, I wanted to surprise you. I know you missed her.'

Zuko raised his hand, and I cringed. I was sure he was going to hit me. My reaction surprised me. I was more than capable of defending myself against a strike, but coming from Zuko -

I was frozen. Even if I'd wanted to, I couldn't have raised a hand against him, not even in self-defense.

He stopped, and I heard him speak. His voice was cold and sharp, the razor edges of a broken ice puddle. 'I don't want to hear it.'

'Dismissing your _bodyguard,_ Zuko?' The servant girl spoke, that hauntingly familiar voice in my head as well as in my ears. 'Surely you wouldn't do that when I'm right here in front of you.'

I turned to look at her, just as she brushed her hair out of her face. I recognised her at last, just as she pulled a pair of swords from sheaths fastened to her back.

'Azula,' I whispered. My earlier assessment - that her presence had bought me a fraction of time as well as some degree of temporary safety - had been so far wrong it wasn't funny.

'You stole my swords!' For a moment Zuko's anger was deflected, aimed at someone other than me.

Azula smiled. 'It was surprisingly easy. You really do need to step up your security.' She glanced at me, a flash of contempt in her eyes. Did she consider herself superior to me, because she could bend and I couldn't? Probably.

I moved in front of Zuko, so that I could at least try to do something if she attacked. He pushed me aside.

'What do you care?' he spat. That burned, hot and corrosive like acid.

Azula leaned forward, assuming a fighting stance. 'I've been waiting a long time for this rematch,' she murmured, her grip tightening on the swords.

The smell of smoke and heat, thick and metallic, seared the inside of my nose as Zuko lunged forward in a mirror image of his sister, flame shooting from his fists. Azula dodged the attack, leaping towards her brother with the swords raised.

I backed away from the two of them. Neither Zuko nor Azula noticed. He was firebending at her, she twisting and turning out of the way of bolts of consuming heat and light.

My eyes flickered to Ursa, still collapsed in a dark heap on the ground. A million thoughts and possible actions flooded my mind - _check that she's still breathing, try to help her, run away -_ but I was frozen still, as if I had lost the ability to make my body move.

'Nemi!'

I heard panting behind me, heavy footsteps approaching. I spun around, flinching as I saw Iroh.

'What on earth is going on?' His eyes were wide. 'No one would say anything except that someone delivered Princess Ursa in chains to you and now Zuko is -' I saw him catch sight of Azula and Zuko fighting, and his face froze.

I couldn't think of anything to say. In my head, I kept seeing Zuko's face, his eyes ablaze with hate and rage at what he believed I'd done.

Iroh's eyes narrowed. Even through the high-resolution, technicolour loop playing in my mind, I was astonished at the transformation. Gone was the sweet, almost fatherly old man who'd taken me in, given me a job and loved his nephew. In front of me was a man who'd seen a deadly enemy and wanted to eliminate it.

'Get back, Nemi,' he said to me, and stepped into a firebending stance. I stepped back, almost involuntarily, and watched.

Iroh breathed in, and I saw the beginnings of energy moving through his arms and upper shoulders. He moved as fast as the lightning he was bringing into being, and struck.

The bolt of electricity cut through the air, heading for Azula. I saw her move to the side, as impossibly fast as her uncle. Iroh's lightning passed her harmlessly by. She lost balance for a moment, stumbling backwards. Zuko turned his head to the side, looking at me and Iroh. His face hardened, and he stood still.

'She's a traitor, Uncle,' he said, pointing at me. 'Remove her.'

Iroh glanced at me, and I saw the confusion in his face.

'Yes, Uncle,' Azula chimed in, her voice sweet. 'She tried to have Mother killed.'

I stared at her, and it was then that the fabric of my mind did something strange. It opened up, almost. My phantom inner eyes saw halogen lights, the shadows of figures with scalpels, and I felt a stab of pain, as if my abdomen was being sliced open.

And suddenly, bizarrely, I knew.

My foot moved on its own, taking a step towards Azula. I looked into her eyes, the same eyes I'd seen in the nightmare.

'You're going to kill Zuko,' I said, the words falling from my mouth heavy as stones. 'That's why you have the swords. You can't do it with bending. You're going to kill him and say I did it.'

Azula's eyes widened in shock, and all the different parts of my mind started to speak. The reptile in my brain, the amygdala, the conscious part and a thousand other parts rose in chorus to thrust images upon me.

I saw my dead family, the bloody scissors on what had once been my bedroom floor, the phantom sensation of blood drying on my fingertips, the clock reading 7.01 a.m.

With the images, the voices in my head gave me two words.

'Not again,' I murmured, hardly aware I was saying it aloud, and threw myself at Azula.

I wasn't thinking about what I was doing, not even the primal compressed version of thought which I was always reduced to during a physical fight, and that was probably to blame for what happened next.

Azula's body moved, and I smelled ozone before I felt the lightning strike me in the chest.

It was an odd sensation. At first I felt nothing, except the beginnings of my fall. It was the almost sick feeling which comes with walking down stairs in the dark - putting your foot out in expectation of something solid to stand on, then your stomach dropping when you encounter thin air.

After that came the pain. There were no words, or comparisons, for that.

My vocal chords tried for a scream, but only managed a pathetic wheeze. I was dimly aware of my body hitting something large and solid which I assumed was the ground.

I heard a yell from Iroh, the sound of swords clattering as they hit the ground. Then, mercifully, I blacked out.

* * *

I decided to bring back the pirate guy from The Waterbending Scroll. I thought that was a nice touch.

Hope everyone likes the chapter :)


	51. Rain

Sorry about the cliffhanger - I did actually have these chapters mostly done yesterday, but was reading through them to make sure there were no embarrassing mistakes.

* * *

Vivisection

Chapter 51 - Rain

* * *

'Sorry it took us so long to get here,' Aang said, gazing at him with concern. 'Are you feeling okay?'

Zuko made a noise in the back of his throat, hoping that would serve as an affirmative. It seemed to. Aang looked unconvinced, but to Zuko's relief he let it lie.

'How's your mom doing?' Katara asked, more practically. 'Do you need me to do anything for her?'

'She's resting,' Zuko replied, feeling tired. 'According to the herbalist, she looks a lot worse than she actually is.'

'Maybe I'll check in on her later,' Katara said. 'You told me her fingers were broken - that can take a long time to heal. There's a lot of bones in the human hand.'

Zuko nodded. 'I appreciate it.'

They were sitting in an anteroom adjacent to the throne room. The weather outside was, for the Fire Nation at least, uncharacteristically cold and wet. The morning had brought in a drizzle, which had slowly increased to the downpour which was now drumming a vigorous tattoo on the roof.

Zuko tried to mentally drown it out. The sound of rain brought back too many memories of someone he would be happier forgetting.

'We tried to get in touch with Sokka, but he was down on Kyoshi Island,' Aang told him, leaning forward over his tea. 'We thought it'd be quicker to just get to the Fire Nation as fast as we could. I'm so sorry we couldn't make it in time - for Azula.'

'It's all right.' Words felt clumsy and heavy in Zuko's mouth, lead weights rolling off his tongue. 'Azula's being dealt with.'

'How?' Katara asked, her blue eyes a little wary. 'You aren't going to -'

'Execute her?' Zuko shook his head. 'No. She might have tried to kill me, but she's part of the royal family. She'll just be sentenced to life imprisonment in the Boiling Rock.'

Katara nodded, although Zuko could see she was uncomprehending. Of course she was. She hadn't seen the inside of the Boiling Rock as he, Sokka, Suki and Hakoda had. Zuko doubted she'd even heard of the Fire Nation's most infamous prison.

'And what about -' Aang cut in, but paused. Obviously he was reluctant to say her name, just as Zuko was reluctant to think it.

Zuko breathed out heavily. He was silent for longer than he'd intended to be, and Katara put her hand on his shoulder. 'You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to,' she said gently.

Zuko straightened. 'It's okay,' he replied, forcing himself to speak. 'I need to decide what to do with her.'

'Maybe you should ask your uncle to help you out with this one,' Aang said.

Katara nodded. 'That's probably a good idea.'

For some irrational reason, that made Zuko angry. 'What, you think I can't deal with it on my own?' he snapped.

Katara's eyes widened. 'No, Zuko, of course not! Aang just meant that since you were emotionally involved with her, you might find it hard to make a decision -'

'On the contrary.' Zuko's voice sounded cold and harsh, even to his ears. 'If she thinks I'm going to show her any sympathy because she tricked me into being _involved _with her, she can think again.'

'It's your call, Zuko.' Aang sighed. 'I guess - I mean, she _did _admit to being guilty.'

'Actually, she didn't even have the decency to do that.' All the anger had gone out of him now. Zuko just felt flat, flat and dull and disappointed. 'She tried to pretend she didn't do it.'

Katara looked puzzled, and wary again. 'Zuko, don't take this the wrong way, but you do have proof that she tried to have your mother killed, don't you?'

'Of course I have _proof!_' Zuko snarled. 'The bounty hunter she hired came in and handed my mother over to her!'

'Katara's got a point,' Aang interjected. 'It just seems kind of dumb that she'd try to lie about it. But it would make a lot more sense if she was actually telling the truth.'

'What else was she going to do, admit to trying to kill my mother in front of me?' Zuko realised he was coming close to shouting, and lowered his voice. '_Anyone _would have tried to lie.'

'I suppose so,' Aang murmured.

'Maybe you should go see her,' Katara suggested. Zuko could see she was trying to smooth things over. 'You'll probably have more chance of getting a confession out of her now that she's not taken by surprise and surrounded by the entire Fire Nation court.'

'All right,' Zuko said, more to keep the peace than anything else. Privately, he knew that he couldn't stomach looking Lisana in the face again.

_I loved her. _The thought came unbidden, and Zuko flinched. He didn't want to remember that, didn't want to remember her.

What he wanted to do more than anything was erase her, as completely as it was possible to do. Already all her belongings had been moved out of his rooms, to be piled up and burnt. Zuko hadn't thrown them out himself. He hadn't wanted to touch anything belonging to her. Instead the maids had done it, with explicit instructions not to keep anything for themselves.

Zuko remembered with disquiet the looks of sorrow and discontent on many of the young girls' faces. They had liked her, he knew that. Well, she was gone now, and they would just have to deal with it.

Doubtless she had lied to them to earn their trust as well, just like she had lied to him. _Is your family even dead? _Zuko thought with disgust. Had that just been a sob story spun to reel him in further?

Probably.

Had she borne some sort of grudge against his mother? Most likely. Zuko tried not to think on that any more than he had to.

'Zuko?' Katara gripped his shoulder. 'Zuko, are you in there?'

Zuko started. 'What is it?'

'I _said, _just be careful, okay?' Katara looked concerned now. 'I know you're upset about what happened to your mom. But not too long ago, you were asking me to try and save this girl's life. Be careful about what you do to her, particularly before she actually admits to being guilty.'

Zuko nodded, without having any real intention of doing what she said. He had been well and truly suckered by Lisana then, and had no intention of being pulled into that trap again.

_I'm sorry, Mai, _he thought. _I'm so sorry. _


	52. Tears For Fears

I completed BioShock.

OOOOOHHHHH YEEEEEAHHHHH.

Sorry for the completely irrelevant author's note. I just thought I'd share that with everyone.

Oh, and for anyone who's disappointed now that the big shocking plot twist has come out - there's more to come. And they're way more shocking.

* * *

Vivisection

Chapter 52 - Tears For Fears

* * *

I refused to cry.

I had cried for Jimi who knew how many times. I had been an emotional wreck after Jimi, and hated myself for it. I had cried over my family, I had cried when I was little and bullied at school.

I had shed enough tears in my life, and I refused to shed any more for Zuko.

_Whatever else you have done to me, you will not make me cry. I will not let you make me cry. _

I repeated that mantra to myself over and over, when I couldn't sleep at night. Sometimes when I could feel the despair trying to overcome me, pulling me down into a hole with worms and the fingers of corpses pushing at the earthen walls, I recited the Fibonacci sequence to myself.

My prison cell had a square hole in the side, barred over, which was the only source of light. A week ago it had rained through there, narrowly missing what passed for my bed.

There was something comforting about the repetition of numbers I whispered to myself, soft and sibilant like a murmured prayer. _Zero, one, one, two, three, five, eight, thirteen, twenty-one, thirty-four, fifty-five, eighty-nine. _When Fibonacci got too hard I would work my way through the periodic table. I had forgotten the curious beauty of the names of the elements. Some sounded strange and futuristic, while others were soft and pretty, like girls' names.

Maybe if I had been pregnant with Zuko's baby, I would have named it Lithium or Beryllium. I laughed hollowly. My period had come five days ago, and instead of feeling relieved I had just felt empty.

Empty was better than mad or depressed, I supposed.

I had to be careful how I slept. The burn mark on my chest was healing, but it was healing very slowly.

I moved myself so I was sitting under the patch of light let in by my excuse for a window, and pulled down the loose shirt I'd been given to wear.

The flesh still looked raw and blistered. The damaged area was in the shape of an irregular star, at the top of my left breast just over my heart. I had wondered occasionally if Azula's lightning had done any damage on the inside. Certainly, I was lucky to be alive. In all honesty I was surprised that I was still breathing. I knew that the strike should have killed me, but had no idea why it hadn't.

_Lucky to be alive, are you?_ The reptile in my head sneered, mocking me. _Maybe you should consider suicide. That'd be a real kick in the teeth for your boyfriend. _

_Ex-boyfriend, _I corrected it absently.

Sometimes it felt as if the despair would drag me into the hole of dead things and tear me apart, dissecting me just like the nightmares. I kept waiting for the nightmares to come, but they never did.

I couldn't lie and say that taking my own life - and in doing so, avoiding whatever punishment Zuko would dream up for me - hadn't crossed my mind.

I'd thought about it, yes, but every time the idea came to me I rejected it. I just wasn't that sort of person. It felt too much like giving in to him.

I shuffled back out of the light, sitting on my bed. I was beginning to smell, which I supposed was logical considering I hadn't washed in days. My hair stayed tied up. I wasn't going to let it hang in my face like Ozai had, getting lank and greasy as the days went by. That would feel like giving in too.

For about the fiftieth time, I wondered what would happen to me. Zuko wouldn't keep me in a palace holding cell indefinitely. I would get some sort of sentence.

I wondered if I would get a trial. At the thought of that possibility, there was a flash of hope, which I promptly squashed.

_Idiot, _I thought. _This isn't like where I come from, and if I do get a trial it definitely won't be a fair one. This is like the Dark Ages as far as legal justice goes. The Fire Nation's run by an arbitrary monarch, who hates my guts because of a crime I didn't commit. _

I knew what Azula's fate would be. Zuko himself had told me. _Anyone who tries to assassinate the Fire Lord pays the ultimate price. Sometimes they get life imprisonment, but that's only if the assassin's an immediate member of the royal family. It's the oldest law in this country._

Azula would get life, and I had no idea what was going to happen to me.

_Maybe Zuko will come to his senses and realise that there's no way I tried to kill his mother,_ part of me thought hopefully. I squashed that as well. It was possible, I supposed, but very unlikely.

I'd looked into his eyes and seen it there.

That made my own eyes sting, and I blinked angrily. _You will not make me cry. _

Emotionally, Zuko was stubborn. Once he got something into his head - or rather his heart - it would take a long time for him to feel differently, if ever. It had taken him two bloody years to get over his wife's death. I highly doubted he would show me any form of clemency. If anything, he would be sure to select the highest possible penalty for me.

_You will not make me cry. _

I heard the clinking of the prison door opening, people stepping inside. It was about midday. Most likely the prison warden was coming around with food.

My stomach growled loudly, and I sighed. That was probably what I missed most about palace life. I kept getting intense desires for specific food items. Yesterday when the warden had delivered the overcooked rice which was served for the evening meal, I would have sold my own grandmother for roast duck. Which wasn't saying much, since I'd only met her twice.

There was a rapping on the bars of my cell. 'Visitors,' rumbled the sentry standing at attention in front of the door.

I frowned. Who could be coming to visit me?

'You can't go in,' the man said, obviously talking to whoever it was. 'Outside the door only.'

A girl about my age and a younger boy moved into view. I recognised the arrow tattoos and the girl's blue outfit instantly - it was Katara and Aang, the incredibly young married couple.

'Hi,' I muttered, feeling awkward. 'I'd offer you refreshments, but -' I spread out my hands.

My pathetic attempt at a joke didn't get a laugh from either of them.

'Aang and I are only here because we could see Zuko didn't want to talk to you,' the girl said, sounding frosty.

That hurt, more than I'd expected it to. I rubbed at my eyes - _you will not make me cry_ - and looked at her. 'What do you want with me?' I asked. Once upon a time the question would have been belligerent, a demand rather than a query. Now it was flat and empty, just like me.

The boy was speaking now. His voice was a little more gentle, and that made the tears start welling up again. 'We wanted to ask you some questions, and then we'll leave. That's all.'

My throat felt thick, and I swallowed. 'Okay.' It came out as a croak.

'You tried to kill Princess Ursa, didn't you?' Katara demanded.

It was then that the floodgates broke.

'I bloody didn't!' I burst out, tears overflowing, hot and stinging down my cheeks. 'I was _framed, _I didn't know that guy from _Adam, _and I sure as hell didn't hire him to kill Zuko's mother!' The last part came out in a sob. 'I hired a bounty hunter to _look _for Ursa! _Look _for her and that's all, do you get it? I remembered seeing her in that Earth Kingdom tournament, I wanted to find her for Z-Zuko and make him _happy!'_ I was shaking uncontrollably now. 'I wrote a letter for Jun to give to her, and somehow it all went wrong and now Zuko _h-hates _me and I don't know what he's going to do to me! No one even wanted to hear my side of the story!'

I broke off, and wiped my face with my shirt. I felt horribly ashamed of myself for crying in front of these people. This was probably the only chance I would get to explain myself, and now I'd blown it.

There was silence from the other side of the bars. I looked away from Aang and Katara, not wanting to meet their eyes, and then I realised that I was probably making myself look even more guilty.

'I'm sorry,' Katara murmured, sounding taken aback. 'I guess that was a little out of line.'

'It's okay,' I sniffled, turning to look at her. 'I'm not usually like that.'

'Can I tell you something?' It was Aang talking again.

I nodded, and he continued. 'I was once put in prison for something I didn't do. Well, actually, one of my past lives did it, but that doesn't really matter. These people thought I killed their leader.'

'How did you clear your name?' I asked.

'It happened over a hundred years ago. It wasn't like there were any eyewitnesses that could testify for me. So my friends did some investigating, they tried to defend me, but the mayor of the town still thought I was guilty. And then my past life took over my body - and kind of confessed.' He looked sheepish then. 'I guess that wasn't really a good comparison to make. But the point is, I know what it's like to be accused of something when you're innocent.'

'_If _you're innocent,' Katara interrupted, glancing at Aang. 'Zuko seems pretty convinced that you're guilty. He was there on the day it happened, and we weren't.'

'I know,' I mumbled, feeling depressed.

'But your crime isn't like Avatar Kyoshi's,' Aang broke in, looking excited. 'It happened recently, so you might be able to find someone to speak in your defense. Do you know of anyone who would be able to testify for you?'

Suddenly, miraculously, I did think of someone.

'Oh my God!' I exclaimed, standing up. 'Jilan! Jilan was _there _when I hired the bounty hunter!'

'Who's Jilan?' Katara asked.

'Captain Jilan Aizen.' I remembered what she'd told me, and groaned. 'She'd be in the Earth Kingdom with her squad by now. But she can testify for me. And she _would_ testify for me. If you could get a message to her or something, it would mean so much.'

'I'll make you an Avatar promise. I will personally send a message to this Jilan lady, and fly her to the Fire Nation on Appa once she agrees to testify,' Aang said solemnly, bowing.

I bowed back. 'Thank you so, so much,' I said. 'Both of you. You have no idea what this means to me.'

'I'm getting some idea,' Katara said, sounding a little less icy. 'We'll go and see if we can find a hawk.' She turned to leave, and so did Aang.

'Wait,' I said, and they turned back towards me. 'I have a question.'

'What is it?' Aang asked.

'Do you know what Zuko has planned for me?' I asked, fearing the answer a little.

Both Aang and Katara looked uncomfortable. Aang opened his mouth, but it was Katara who spoke.

'There are only rumours at this stage,' she said, not looking at me. 'Zuko hasn't actually said anything to us -'

'What are the rumours?' I demanded. 'Tell me, I have a right to know.'

'People are talking about the death penalty.'

It was Aang who said it, his face expressionless. 'But I won't let that happen. Come on, Katara. Let's go find that hawk.'

I watched them go, feeling oddly exhilarated at the thought that I might be proven innocent, but also afraid.

Would Zuko really kill me?

Did he really hate me that much?

* * *

I realised after I wrote this - Katara and Aang are doing a good cop/bad cop routine. And it was totally unintentional.


	53. Ice Queen

Vivisection

Chapter 53 - Ice Queen

* * *

It was peaceful, in a way.

Azula lay on her mattress in the prison cell, looking up at the ceiling.

No one expected anything of her in here. Ever since she'd been young, playing people like musical instruments to do her bidding had been her true strength, much more so than her firebending. Despite that, Azula didn't feel the same sense of helplessness that she had in the mental asylum. Strangely, she didn't even feel the desire to escape.

It was just as well, she supposed. Azula knew perfectly well what the rest of her life would look like. She had attempted the murder of a Fire Lord, and the last thing she saw before she died would be the inside of a Fire Nation prison.

She felt empty, but not depressed. Azula knew she should feel depressed - the coup she had planned for the last few months had failed spectacularly, leaving her not on the throne of the Fire Nation but instead in a holding cell.

Nonetheless, somehow she felt finished. There was nothing else she needed or wanted to do with her life. Azula had no desire to fight against her pending imprisonment.

But she knew Nemi Turunen didn't feel the same way.

She had heard the Avatar and the waterbender girl talking to Nemi. They had promised to fetch her Captain Aizen to serve as a witness. Clearly Nemi wasn't about to lie down and let Zuko seal her fate.

In a way, Azula respected that, admired it even. If anything else, she had miscalculated. Putting the blame on Nemi for Zuko's death would probably have backfired on Azula eventually.

Especially since she seemed to have the ability to access Azula's mind.

Azula flinched, remembering the intrusion of it, the flash of stark white light and the figures with scalpels. Her brother and uncle, upon hearing that she planned to murder Zuko and blame Nemi, had probably rejected Nemi's words as a lucky guess or even a clever deduction.

Azula knew better, and briefly wondered how long it had been going on for. Then she shook herself. Of course she would have felt it, had it happened before. Azula very much doubted it had been intentional on Nemi's part, mainly because the access hadn't been one-way.

There had been a dead girl, sitting in a chair and bleeding from stab wounds. There had been a pair of sharp, unfamiliar-looking blades lying on a floor, clotting blood rendering them black and crimson as well as shiny silver. And then there had been a hand, Nemi's hand, with blood on the fingertips.

The stream of images had been too rapid, too intense, for Azula to decipher their meaning straight away. She had realised later that the girl must have been Nemi's younger sister - she'd had the same bizarrely coloured hair.

Had Nemi killed her sister? Been blamed for the death of her sister? Azula couldn't be certain.

She heard a sigh from across the room, from the direction of Nemi's prison cell.

Azula cleared her throat, feeling almost as if she was about to jump into a void. She told herself she was being ridiculous. Why was she feeling nervous? As she'd once said to the warden of the Boiling Rock, she was a people person. Admittedly her skill with people was limited to making them dance like puppets to whatever tune she happened to be playing, but still -

'I set it up, you know. To make it look like you tried to murder Mother.' Azula felt as if she was talking to thin air. And the sentries were in the room - they could hear every word she was saying. Nemi, if she was even listening, was silent. Azula felt a little silly, but continued.

'It's because of me you're in here,' she said, each word falling only a short distance into the silence. 'Aren't you going to say anything?'

Clearly Nemi didn't intend to.

'I'm sorry.' Azula heard her voice saying the words, but didn't shape them with her mind.

She was astonished at herself. She'd never regretted anything. The only time she could remember having ever apologised for anything was to Ty Lee at the beach house on Ember Island, so long ago.

'You're only sorry because your plan failed.' Nemi's voice was a monotone, sounding as if it had almost fallen out of use. 'You calculated it all very carefully, but still you fell down in the end.'

She paused, and went on.

'You forgot to consider Iroh, you forgot to get him out of the way. You would have had to kill him as well, wouldn't you? I doubt you could have done it.' She laughed humourlessly. 'And what about Jilan? Were you going to have her quietly assassinated once you were Fire Lord? How many people were you going to kill, just so you could have what you wanted? Christ, I bet you killed Jun.'

'I didn't,' Azula replied, quietly.

'Oh, that makes it so much better.' Nemi's voice had risen in volume. 'Did you expect me to be _surprised _that you did it? I kind of guessed that. You were going to frame me for murdering my _boyfriend.' _She spat out the last word in disgust. 'I hardly think you'd lose any sleep over letting me take the blame for hiring someone to beat up your _mother. _Your _mother, _for God's sake! Is there _anything _you care about?' Her voice lowered again, almost to a whisper. 'Azula, is there anything you want to protect, anything you feel any sort of attachment for? You know, I don't think there is.'

Azula remained silent.

'You don't have any morals, any regrets at all,' Nemi went on. 'You seriously thought your _apology_ would mean anything to me? Well, it doesn't. Because I know it's fake.'

'It isn't.' Azula was surprised at herself. Those two words were the only self-defence she'd put up during Nemi's tirade.

_You're not defending yourself because you know it's true, _she thought.

'Go apologise to Zuko for standing there and watching your dad melt his face off, then,' Nemi snarled. 'No, on second thoughts, don't. Zuko isn't any better than you are, but I'm sure you already know that.' She breathed in, painfully loud against the silence in the prison cells. 'Just fuck off, Azula.'

Azula drew her knees up to her chin, and closed her eyes. The silence drilled deep into her head, unbroken except for the breathing of the other prisoner in her cell.


	54. Off With Her Head

Well, I saw Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, and I know a lot of people didn't like it but I thought is was f***ing awesome, especially the Mad Hatter. And Christopher Lee as the Jabberwocky - that was excellent, even if he didn't say too much.

Anyway, on with the chapter.

* * *

Vivisection

Chapter 54 - Off With Her Head

* * *

Zuko straightened in his throne, looking at the admiral who'd risen from his seat.

'With respect, Fire Lord Zuko, this has gone on long enough!' The man spoke vehemently, looking around at the rest of the council. 'You must decide what to do with her. There was enough of a delay with the Kamaitachi girl. We cannot continue to postpone the sentences of criminals.'

'I must agree with Admiral Zheng, Fire Lord.' The speaker was a general, a man in his sixties with grey in his beard. 'Determining the sentence of the Earth Kingdom assassin took up enough of this council's time. We need to decide the fate of Nemi Turunen.'

Zuko brushed his forehead with his head, feeling the beginnings of a headache. It was tempting to exaggerate the complaint and excuse himself from the meeting, but he made himself stay.

_They're right, _he thought to himself. _This _has _gone on long enough. _

If only the decision was easier to make.

The obvious solution to the problem of Nemi was to simply throw her in prison, perhaps the Boiling Rock since she had been the one to suggest that Ozai spend the rest of his days there. Zuko knew none of the council would object. None of them liked her or harboured any sympathy for her. They'd made that very clear, even in the days before she was a criminal. He could sentence Nemi to life imprisonment and no one would speak a word in her defence.

The only thing stopping him from doing it was her face in his mind. Zuko supposed it was only to be expected. He'd grown emotionally attached to her - he refused to think _fallen in love_ - and had believed the feeling was mutual.

Perhaps his mother would know what to do.

Zuko dismissed that notion as soon as it appeared in the forefront of his mind. Princess Ursa was still recovering from her injuries, and the tisanes the herbalist had given her ensured that she spent most of each day sleeping.

She was finally back, and yet he couldn't speak to her, or even hold her hand. Zuko felt momentary sorrow, but blinked it harshly away. He needed to make a decision, and soon.

He remembered holding her after one of the nightmares and letting her cry into his shoulder. He remembered kissing her for the first time, the smell of smoke and people in the air.

_I slept with her, for Agni's sake, _he thought angrily. _How can I decide what sentence to give her?_

He couldn't think clearly. _What would be the right thing to do? _he thought, and instantly regretted the question. Right and wrong were steadily merging into each other in his head, like two heavily used colours in a child's paintbox.

'No one would object if you sentenced her to death, Fire Lord,' Admiral Zheng said finally. 'It would be the quickest and easiest solution. Imprisoning criminals costs money over a long period of time. An execution is over in a day.'

'I must object.'

Zuko turned to his right. Iroh was standing, the fire of the throne room behind him. The orange light playing over his face added a cold sternness to his features. Zuko was suddenly very conscious of who Iroh was - his kindly uncle persona had faded away, leaving the Dragon of the West. Iroh's face held all the steel of the man who had very nearly brought Ba Sing Se to its knees.

'The death penalty is given only to those guilty of attempted - or successful - regicide. It has been written in Fire Nation law for hundreds of years. It was written that way for a reason.'

One of the councilmen stood up, and spoke. 'I agree with General Iroh that an execution is out of the question, although not primarily for the reason he has given.' He stepped into the light, and Zuko recognised General Aizen. The man's face was grave.

'Our alliance with the Earth Kingdom is on treacherous ground,' he said. 'The Kamaitachi family are well respected within the Earth Kingdom, wealthy and powerful. We are already responsible for the death of their youngest daughter.'

'She was an assassin!' Admiral Zheng interrupted, inflamed.

General Aizen glared at him. 'If you would allow me to continue, Admiral, I was going to explain. Lin Su Kamaitachi's death was unquestionable in the eyes of Fire Nation law, a certainty. But in the eyes of the Earth Kingdom, it was unjust murder.' He paused, his eyes fixing on Zuko's. 'I received correspondence from my daughter some days ago. There is talk of an uprising.'

'Doubtless it was the kind of talk that comes out of discontented men when they have had too much rice wine,' one of the generals said, eliciting a few laughs from the other councilmen.

'This is no laughing matter!' General Aizen scowled, and then seemed to visibly take steps to calm himself. He breathed in slowly, then out, and turned to face Zuko again.

'It is important that you tread very carefully here, Fire Lord,' Aizen continued. The firelight shifted over his skin, ageing him just as it had Iroh. 'Nemi Turunen is Earth Kingdom-born. She was well-liked by the people of the Fire Nation as well. Even now some of them are beginning to question your judgement in imprisoning her.'

'The Fire Lord's judgement is beyond criticism,' interjected another councilman.

'Be that as it may, this is a delicate situation.' Aizen pressed his hand to his forehead as Zuko himself had just moments before. 'Our legal system says that the terms of Nemi Turunen's sentence may be arbitrarily decided by the Fire Lord and his viziers. Politics say otherwise. If you kill Nemi Turunen, the Earth Kingdom will see it as another of their own brutally slain by the Fire Nation, and will seek justice - maybe even retribution - for her.' Aizen's face tensed, and he looked strangely desperate. 'Do not make Nemi Turunen into a martyr, Fire Lord Zuko. She will be your downfall if you do.'

'Be that as it may,' Admiral Zheng said, imitating Aizen's words with a sneer on his face, 'I believe executing her would be the best solution.'

The old pressure was back on him again. Zuko could sense how precariously close he was to making an irreparable mistake, but had no idea which path would lead him into the abyss.

Restless, he stood up, and the council fell silent.

'I will make my decision tomorrow,' he said, making his voice loud and clear so that there could be no mistake. 'This meeting is adjourned until then.'

'Of course, Fire Lord.' The councilmen all rose and bowed, leaving the room one by one until finally Zuko was left alone with his uncle.

Zuko waited, expecting his uncle to say something, maybe offer some advice. The silence in the room, thick and heavy but for the crackling of the flames behind the throne, remained unbroken for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually Iroh sighed heavily, leaving his chair and the throne room.

Zuko couldn't find the energy to move. He closed his eyes, listening to the hungry licking and burning of the fire behind him. It was the sound the fire feeding on Lin Su Kamaitachi's flesh had made.

Was he capable of doing the same to Lisana? Zuko didn't know. He didn't particularly want to find out.

It feels good to finally write General Aizen's speech. I've had that in my head for the longest time, particularly the 'martyr' line.

* * *

Please accept my humblest apologies (and sad face - D:) for ending on another, albeit slightly less dramatic, cliffhanger. All I can say is that I'm still making everything up as I go along, and hence haven't decided properly what's going to happen next.

Oh, and since the next Humans vs Zombies game is due to begin at my university in a few days, I was thinking of writing an A:TLA zombie apocalypse fic to celebrate. Tell me what you think.


	55. Summons

I'm sorry for not writing anything for ages. First there was Humans vs. Zombies, then a friend of mine gave me the next 70 episodes of Bleach. I blame Bleach for being so damn addictive. Curse you, Kubo Tite, for creating something so amazing and allowing it to be made into an anime.

And the Arrancar arc is bitching, if I do say so myself. Maybe I should write a Bleach fic after I've finished this one and started the zombie one...

* * *

Vivisection

Chapter 55 - Summons

* * *

I lay on what passed for my bed, staring at the ceiling.

It had gotten to the point where I wasn't exactly sure how many days had passed. It seemed almost like I had sealed myself inside a sort of imperturbable bubble, in which the real world - this world - ceased to exist.

I tried not to feel anything. That was the greatest danger. I wanted to keep myself sane, to remain myself up until what could very well be my impending death. And if I felt anything, if I remembered how to feel - goodbye sanity.

I didn't wake up in the mornings any more. I remembered reading somewhere, back when my life made sense, that the human body slipped into a twenty-five hour cycle without clocks to guide it. Whenever I did wake up I did a test of my mental extremities, to check that everything was still there. It was a familiar ritual. It was something I'd done after getting out of the hospital, and before that after Jimi had dumped me.

I laughed, and the sound echoed hollowly. The girl who'd cried and been hopelessly depressed after being abandoned by her boyfriend seemed rather pitiful, not to mention pathetic. It was hard to believe that that girl had been me.

The familiar sound of the holding cell doors opening reached me, and with it, irrational hope. The thought that Katara and Aang might be back to tell me I was saved - _forgiven_ whispered my traitor mind - filled my head, slamming me back into reality with a forceful thud.

I heard the metallic chink of armour moving against bodies, and realised that Fire Nation soldiers were approaching my cell.

I sat up, turning to face the front, and saw a figure in messenger's uniform standing in front of me. He was flanked by soldiers on either side, and as I looked closer I saw that he was a boy, younger than me. I put my guess at fifteen, sixteen at most.

'Nemi Turunen, I am here to deliver a message from Fire Lord Zuko and his governing council,' the messenger said. His voice was thin and reedy.

Something jolted inside my chest at his name, internal organs twisting into a knot. _Zuko, _the fickle part of my mind murmured. I pushed it down, and forced my hand to move as the messenger boy passed me the scroll through the bars.

My eyes lingered on the seal. I knew already that this wasn't a private letter from Zuko. It was nothing so personal. The wax, crimson and still a little warm from the messenger's hand, was a testament to that.

'I was ordered to remain here while you read it,' the messenger interrupted, sounding a little apologetic.

I wondered at the inflection in his voice. It was almost sympathetic, and that made my insides twist again. Could this be my death sentence?

My eyes stung, and I wiped them angrily with the back of my hand. I was being stupid, I knew that much. As much as Zuko hated me at the moment, Aang was his ally, and Aang was the Avatar. While Aang was trying to help me, Zuko wouldn't have me killed.

Or so I hoped.

My nails picked clumsily at the seal, taking an age to unfasten it. When I got the scroll open I unrolled it impatiently, mentally translating the kanji-like characters into English.

At first I was so busy trying to understand the words themselves that their meaning completely escaped me. It was only when the messenger cleared his throat, as if waiting for me to finish, that it started to make sense.

'It's a summons.'

My voice was a croak, and I wondered if that was disuse. The last time I'd spoken had been in my altercation with Azula, and I had no idea how long ago that had been.

'That is correct.' The messenger paused. 'The council have decided that since you are an Earth Kingdom citizen, your crime will be judged according to the laws of the Earth Kingdom.'

_By a Fire Nation court?_ I wondered, but remained silent.

'You are to be given a trial, in which you may call witnesses to testify in your defence, or they may independently decide to present evidence to argue your case. The trial will be held in four days, in the second chamber of the northernmost wing of the palace. Do you understand everything I have explained to you?'

I realised that the messenger's job hadn't been just to hand over the summons. He was supposed to explain everything to me now, so I couldn't complain about an unfair trial later.

'I understand,' I replied.

'I have been assigned to give a message to anyone you might wish to call as a witness,' the messenger continued. 'Will you require me to do this?'

I thought. Aside from Jilan, no one had known about my decision to find Ursa, no one except Jun, who was probably long gone by now. Then I remembered Azula's confession, and the sentries who'd heard the whole thing.

Even as hope flared up again, I suppressed it. I didn't even know the names of the men who'd been on duty that day. Even if I did, there was no guarantee that they'd want to testify for me. If they were inclined to, doubtless they'd be in trouble with whoever their commanding officer was.

'Miss Turunen?' The messenger looked at me.

I shook my head slowly. 'No. I've already arranged for a message to be sent to someone.' I paused, wondering if he'd answer the question I had. 'Would you - happen to know if the Avatar's received any messages from Jilan Aizen?'

'The captain? No.' The messenger shook his head. 'I have no idea. But Miss Turunen -' He paused, as if wondering whether his next words would get him in trouble. 'I wish you luck in your trial.'

'Thank you,' I said sincerely. 'That means a lot.'

The messenger bowed, and turned to leave.

'Wait,' I said, biting my lip. 'Do you know -' I thought about how to phrase my next question, then finally decided to just come out and say it. 'Is the council still considering the death penalty?'

The messenger said nothing, and for a while I thought he was just going to continue on his way out of the cell. Then he spoke.

'At this stage the death penalty is still a possibility.' He sounded genuinely regretful. 'I'm sorry, Miss Turunen.'

'It's not your fault,' I replied, but he'd already walked past my cell and gone through the door. The guards followed him, and the door closed behind them with a resounding clang.

I heard a sigh from the direction of Azula's cell, and ignored it. I wasn't buying her readiness to confess, or her apparent change of heart. I knew enough about Azula by now to know that manipulating people was what she was good at.

As far as I was concerned, I was alone down here.


	56. On Second Thoughts

Just finished watching the _awesome _Hueco Mundo arc of Bleach - only to be greeted by filler episodes.

How I hate filler. It is similar to pop music in that it fills me with irrational, incoherent rage.

Dawwwwww Ulquiorra is weirdly cute. He reminds me of L from Death Note.

Anyway…

* * *

Vivisection

Chapter 56 - On Second Thoughts

* * *

Iroh descended the stairs with a heavy heart.

He felt for Zuko, of course. He could understand that it was a difficult decision to make. He could even put himself in his nephew's shoes, if he tried hard enough.

If only Zuko could see the viewpoints of others so easily.

Part of Iroh wanted to take Zuko by the shoulders and shake him. It was painfully obvious that Lisana hadn't been the one to do those things to Princess Ursa. Logically, she was the only possible culprit. That man - a pirate he and his nephew had encountered during Zuko's exile, if Iroh recalled correctly - had turned up with a beaten and bruised Ursa, in front of the entire court and Zuko himself.

Logic and evidence said that Lisana had done it. But Iroh's sixth sense - which had always been accurate in the past - said not.

He was beginning to regret his offer now.

Iroh had been with Katara and Aang when the message was delivered. He had seen the black wax of the seal, seen the outline of the Aizen family crest, and his blood had run cold. At the looks of anxiety on their faces, Iroh had volunteered to deliver the news to Lisana.

As much as he pitied her, Iroh could do little to alter the course of Lisana's fate. He knew the danger of any attempt he could make to sway the Fire Lord's decision. It was possible - albeit unlikely - Zuko would listen to him if he argued Lisana's case strongly enough. But Iroh knew that the court would see it as an attempt on his part to claim power from Zuko, and the country would see it as more instability within the Fire Nation royal family. Agni knew he had no desire to incite some sort of revolution.

Things were heading that way already. Iroh knew about the lingering tension left in the Earth Kingdom as an aftermath of the war. As time had passed the rift between the Earth Kingdom and the Fire Nation had gotten worse instead of better. If Zuko didn't watch his step, he was likely to spark a chain of events which would lead to another war with the Earth Kingdom, perhaps even a civil war within the Fire Nation.

At least his nephew had shown some sense with the decision to give Lisana a trial. That would appease the Earth Kingdom, for a time at least. There had been reams of correspondence from various Earth Kingdom political leaders, demanding the details of Lisana's sentence. Iroh knew that they saw this as more of an excuse to antagonise the Fire Nation than anything else, but it still gave him hope for Lisana.

He reached the door to the holding cells, and motioned for the firebender soldier standing guard to open it. The man bowed and obeyed, and Iroh entered the palace prison.

Alone, he moved down the row of cells, waving away the sentries who stepped forward to accompany him. When Iroh glimpsed long pale hair he stopped.

'Nemi?' he asked.

The girl in the cell turned around to face him. When she did her face brightened. 'General Iroh!'

She looked better than he'd expected. She'd lost a little weight, but it was hardly noticeable unless you were looking closely. Her hair and skin looked relatively clean. Iroh stepped closer and saw upon inspection that her fingernails had been subjected to a fierce regime of biting, some of them caked with dried blood. That worried him. The imprisonment had clearly taken its toll on her nerves, and the news he'd brought wasn't going to make that any better.

'How are you?' he asked her, playing for time.

Lisana attempted a smile. 'Okay, I suppose. I've definitely been better. You?'

Iroh sighed. 'I have also been better. Is the lightning burn healing?'

Lisana nodded. 'It's slow, but it's getting there.'

'It will scar,' Iroh said, then checked himself. He hadn't come here for a casual conversation with her, much as he wished that was the case.

As if she could sense what he was thinking, Lisana's half-hearted smile dropped. 'Has something happened?' Her voice came out in a whisper, and Iroh realised that she'd been trying desperately for the past few minutes to keep up the pretence that she was all right.

'Yes,' he replied heavily. 'Aang and Katara received a message from Captain Jilan Aizen's lieutenant on her behalf today.'

Lisana paled dramatically, but didn't speak.

Iroh breathed out heavily. 'The Captain and her squad were returning to the Fire Nation. Captain Aizen's lieutenant stated that she thought highly of you and was retreating her squad in order to testify in your defense.' He paused, simultaneously knowing he would have to say it and dreading it. 'However, her ship was caught in a storm. The majority of the squad suffered only minor injuries, but Captain Aizen herself sustained a head injury and has - passed away. Her squad lieutenant offers his condolences.'

All he heard next was a sharp intake of breath. Lisana had drawn her knees up to her chest, burying her face in them. When the sound of quiet sobbing emanated from her cell, Iroh wished profoundly that his hearing would disappear.

'Jilan…' she whispered. 'Oh my God. It's my fault.'

'No,' Iroh replied. 'It was never your fault.' He thought of his nephew then, and felt anger and frustration. If only Zuko could see his 'criminal' now.

'I am sorry for your loss,' he continued. 'Never blame yourself. That way lies ruin.' Iroh leant against the wall, feeling suddenly tired.

'If I hadn't asked Katara and Aang to write to her…'

'If Zuko hadn't been a fool and thrown you in prison without listening to anything you had to say, then Captain Aizen would still be alive.' Iroh cut her off, realizing that for perhaps the first time in his life, he wanted to backhand Zuko. The emotion surprised him.

'I will testify in defense of your character. I will not let him punish you,' he said fiercely.

'G-General Iroh?' Lisana looked up, eyes beginning to redden with crying. 'Do you really think he would kill me?'

Iroh paused, unsure for a moment of what to say. 'In terms of the current political situation, sentencing you to death would be…unwise,' he told her. 'It is unlikely he will make that decision.'

She didn't look reassured by that. _To Agni with it, _Iroh thought, and straightened. _To Agni with the Fire Nation's political factions. _

'I would hope my nephew is not stupid or cruel enough to sentence the woman he loves to death. But if he does, I will force his hand away. I will not let him do it. You have my promise.'

Lisana smiled weakly at that. 'I appreciate it, General Iroh.' As he turned to leave, she murmured something else, almost as if she were talking to herself.

'But he doesn't love me any more.'


	57. Towards the End

Okay, Lisana's fate has been decided. By me! Dun dun duuuuuuuun. Feels like I've been waiting forever to write this.

Oh, and if you think back to Chapter 1, you'll recall that Lisana was listening to a song on your laptop. This is what it was - I finally decided on a song, and put some of the lyrics here because they seemed to fit this chapter pretty well.

_

* * *

_

I'm dying to catch my breath

_Oh, why don't I ever learn?_

_I've lost all my trust but I've surely tried_

_To turn it around_

_Can you still see_

_The heart of me?_

_All my agony fades away_

_When you hold me in your embrace_

_Don't tear me down_

_For all I need_

_Make my heart a better place_

_Give me something I can believe_

_Don't tear it down_

_What's left of me_

_You've opened a door now_

_Don't let it close_

**-All I Need, Within Temptation**

* * *

Vivisection

Chapter 57 - Towards the End

* * *

I ran my fingers through my hair restlessly, trying in vain to make myself presentable. It was unlikely that anyone would offer me a bath or change of clothes. In any case, the trial was in half an hour. Even if I had those luxuries, it was unlikely I'd be able to completely wash away my stint in prison in that time.

My mind felt heavy and slow, thinking such mundane thoughts. More than half of me wanted to abandon the trial altogether. In many ways I would've been quite content to lie down and curl up in a ball on the floor of the cell. The thought of execution didn't seem so bad now.

But I couldn't do that. That would be an insult to Jilan. She would have died pointlessly. My own pointless death would achieve nothing. And Iroh had told me that I wouldn't be sentenced to death on his watch.

I straightened. They would come for me soon, I would be taken to the trial chamber, and I would have to look him in the eye.

My stomach turned over. Fortunately there was nothing in it. I shivered, rubbing my bare arms even though I wasn't cold.

_Zuko. _

I could feel the part of myself that had cried after my breakup with Jimi straining against the restrictions I'd placed on it, trying to tell me I still needed Zuko, still loved him.

_Liar, _I thought at it as hard as I could. _I don't need anyone. You know that. _

I'd forced myself not to miss him. It was surprisingly easy to do. Even the nightmares which he'd carried me through didn't come any more. I didn't miss him, but occasionally I could feel an aching emptiness for something that was no longer there, as if someone really had cut out my heart.

I knew if I wasn't careful, the restrictions would disappear and I'd miss Zuko again, maybe even cry for him. I hoped that seeing him again wouldn't make that happen. I resolved to harden my heart. _You will not make me cry, you will not make me cry. _

'Miss Nemi?' It was the sentry standing at my cell door.

I stood. 'Yes?' Somehow, my voice didn't wobble.

'I am to take you to the trial chamber now.'

I nodded and stepped forward as he began to open the door. He stood back, giving me room to exit.

He was being very trusting. For a moment I was tempted to run, then thought better of it. There was no way I'd get anything remotely resembling closure that way.

The thought surprised me, and I realised that the act of the trial itself was just as much about getting closure for Zuko as it was for trying to prove my innocence. If I saw him one last time, that would let me leave him behind, or so I hoped. It had to be that way.

I stepped out of my cell, and the sentry turned me around. I felt cool metal against my skin.

'Sorry about this,' he murmured, as he clicked the handcuffs into place.

'It's okay,' I replied. 'Only following orders, right?' My voice did wobble this time at the man's unexpected sympathy. _Get a grip, _I told myself.

We left the cell. Something nagged at the back of my mind as the sentry led me through corridors. I realised that the silence in the holding cells had been unsettling. Why hadn't Azula said anything? After her attempt to win me over, I would have expected at least some last parting words.

No, that was stupid. She had nothing to say to me, at least nothing that I'd listen to. She'd been the one to get me into this situation in the first place, and her failed apology had been pathetically transparent. There was no reason for her to give me any sort of farewell.

We paused in front of a door, and the sentry leaned towards me. 'I've been instructed to tell you that you must not speak while the trial is progressing. The council is adhering strictly to Earth Kingdom protocol.'

This surprised me. 'I'm not allowed to speak in my own defense?'

'I'm afraid not.'

The sentry leaned forward and pushed the doors open before I had a chance to reply.

I glanced around at the roomful of faces, not paying much attention to them. I only vaguely recognised a few of the well-dressed ones at the front from the council. Even as the sentry led me to a chair at the front of the room, my eyes were doing their own thing, searching for Zuko.

Try as I might, I couldn't pick his face anywhere. I pulled myself back to the present. My fate was being decided here. I should at least try to pay attention.

'Nemi Turunen, you are to be tried for crimes committed against the royal family.'

The speaker was a tall older man standing in front of me, who then turned around to address the rest of the room. I remembered him from Zuko's council, and my heart sank.

'You are accused of ordering the injury and possible death of the Fire Lord's mother, the Princess Ursa. You have pleaded innocence of these crimes. To determine your innocence, you may call consenting witnesses to speak on your behalf. Witnesses may also come forward on their own to speak for you.' The man sounded bored and jaded, obviously wanting to get his bit over and done with.

_As far as this guy's concerned, the trial's just a formality, _I thought.

'The testimony of a witness will be regarded as evidence, except in the case of a criminal. For a criminal's testimony to be considered as evidence, their statements need to be supported by the testimony of at least one other witness. Anyone who has been declared insane by a doctor, as well as any person accused of an offence similar to your own, or any co-conspirators in your own crime, may not testify in your defense. In addition, you may not speak for the duration of the trial except to call witnesses. These are the conditions of a criminal trial, as laid down by Earth Kingdom law. Do you understand?' He looked back at me.

I went to speak, then remembered myself and nodded.

'Well then, let the trial commence. Are there any who wish to speak defending Nemi Turunen's innocence?'

'I will speak on her behalf, as a character witness.' Iroh's voice, soothingly familiar, calmed me. He stood near the back of the room, and began to speak.

As he explained how he had met me, and what kind of person he perceived me to be, I thought. To be precise, I wondered.

Where was Zuko? Had he declined to appear at my trial? Surely they couldn't make the decision without him. Unless he was leaving my fate in the hands of his councilmen.

Surely even Zuko couldn't be that cold towards me. Then I remembered his face, the hate in his eyes, and revised that particular mental statement. He could, and he would.

'Nemi Turunen is a young woman of honour. In the time I have known her, she has been nothing but loyal and faithful to the Fire Lord.' I could tell Iroh was winding up his speech now. 'I truly believe that the nature of her character is incapable of doing any harm to my nephew, particularly through those he cares about.'

I tried to smile gratefully at him, but my face felt stiff and nerveless. At that moment, I felt as though I belonged in Madame Tussaud's waxworks collection.

'The council thanks General Iroh for his testimony.' The man at the front was still speaking in that bored drawl. 'Is there anyone else who wishes to come forward?'

The room was silent at that, and I was filled with a sudden, slightly nauseating urge to giggle. I slapped the urge down. There was nothing remotely funny about this situation. At this rate, I was going to end up crazy just like Azula. Or maybe I was already there.

The silence seemed vaguely expectant, pressing down on me almost. It reminded me of high school, when one of my teachers asked for a volunteer from the class to be the first to present their assignment. Then I remembered that the person up the front of this class wasn't going to pick on anyone to speak. He would just finish the trial at that, and I doubted Iroh's character reference was going to be enough to carry me home free.

There was a click behind me, and I turned. The doors I'd come in through were opening, and the person entering was entirely - unexpected seemed too soft a word for it.

'Hi,' was all Azula said as she was marched past me by a pair of Fire Nation soldiers, into an empty seat at the other side of the room.

'What the hell are you doing here?' I demanded, forgetting that I was supposed to be keeping quiet.

'Miss Turunen,' the man conducting the trial snapped. 'By speaking you damn your case further. I will be the one to ask the Princess the reason for her presence here, not you.'

One of the soldiers standing behind Azula cleared his throat. 'She wanted to come to the trial, sir,' he said. 'I wasn't going to let her. But then my commanding officer told me anyone's allowed to act as a witness under Earth Kingdom law, and I'd better bring her here.'

'Your commanding officer was incorrect,' the councilman responded. 'Princess Azula has been declared insane by a number of reputable Fire Nation doctors, as well as by Water Tribe healers. Her testimony is invalid.'

Azula stood. 'I'm sure the Earth Kingdom will see it that way,' she said, smiling sweetly at him.

The councilman looked taken aback. I almost felt sorry for him. _Maybe I'd be better off feeling sorry for myself, _I thought. Whatever Azula had come here to say, chances were it wasn't going to do me any good.

'I see Zuzu isn't here,' she continued. 'That's a shame. I was going to tell him to pull his head out of his rear end. I always knew he was a fool, but I didn't think he'd become this painfully stupid.'

'If you're going anywhere with this, Princess Azula, I'd advise you to get there quickly before I lose my temper.' The councilman looked more than a little flustered.

'It's obvious, isn't it? Anyone can tell just by looking at this girl that she didn't order some thug to injure Mother.' Azula lifted an eyebrow. 'I'd think it wouldn't be too hard to figure out that I was the one to do it. It _was _quite a coincidence that a mercenary dragged her in and then I tried to kill my dear brother a moment later. Who would've thought it?'

She paused to brush a strand of hair out of her face, and went on.

'I was worried for a while that someone would see through my little plot when I was crowned Fire Lord, but even when my plan failed no one caught on. It seems that no one wants to give me the credit for it. It's a pity, seeing as I spent a lot of time and effort thinking it through. But then this kind of thing's happened before, hasn't it?'

'I'd strongly urge you to get to the point, Princess,' the councilman hissed.

Azula looked over at me, then turned towards the rest of the room. 'No one even knew I got out the first time,' she said. Her tone was suddenly a lot more serious. 'They should have seen it coming. After all, I had to teach Mai a lesson for what she did to me. She loved Zuko more than she feared me? That was her downfall, in the end.'

I saw her blink, and suddenly wished the prescription on my glasses was just a little stronger. Then I would have been able to tell for sure if the glittering in her eyes was really what I thought it was.

'I'm more than capable of ordering my mother beaten for my own gain,' she said. 'After all, I did murder my sister-in-law.'

* * *

UBER plot twist. Remember back when Azula escaped from the mental asylum?

Yeah. That's right. I had this planned from the very beginning of the story.

Please let me know what you think. :)

Sorry for the delay. I've kind of been having two personal crises going at the same time. One of them involves the necessity I now have of getting straight High Distinctions for this semester (HDs are the Australian university equivalent of As). The other involves me going and hiding in my room, where no more boys can declare their feelings for me. (Lol, I'm an adult and I still think of guys my own age as _boys. _That's funny.)


	58. The Thorn In Your Eye

It's almost done now. Thank God. This fic has sucked the life out of me. It's a vampire fic. (Fortunately it doesn't sparkle. Gah my eyes.) After writing 100,000 words plus on Avatar: The Last Airbender I think I'm going to change fictional universes for a while. The zombie fic is going to have to wait.

I'm gonna start - a Bleach fic!

Yeah, I have this really weird trippy story all worked out in my head already. It will probably feature Aizen Sousuke, because I love him to bits. And Grimmjow. Mmm…Grimmjow.

Anyway, that's enough of my fangirling. On with the story.

This bit is based on the second Day of Black Sun episode, when Zuko confronts his father and there's that weird camera shot that looks like it's coming from a hole in the roof. It was just one of my random little ideas.

* * *

Vivisection

Chapter 58 - The Thorn In Your Eye

* * *

Zuko forgot to breathe.

He also leant forward, momentarily losing his balance. Ordinarily this wouldn't have been a problem.

Unfortunately, he was crouched inside the roof of the trial chamber. He had crawled through the ventilation system, positioning himself inside a section where the metal sheet had pulled away from the soldering in part. The crack it left in front of him, almost wide enough to put a hand through, was enough to let in fresh air as well as allowing Zuko to view most of the proceedings.

He wasn't sure why he'd decided to sneak in. Of course he could have attended the trial in an official capacity, made the final decision, or even just let his council decide while he watched.

Somehow the thought of doing that had mildly disgusted him. Zuko's feelings towards Lisana had transmuted from anger into sorrow and finally from there into disappointment, as well as an unhealthy dose of self-loathing. The self-loathing was there simply because part of him - and quite a significant part at that - still loved her.

He had wanted to see her one last time, but not as her judge. The part of him that was disappointed had hoped that this would allow him to put her aside, once and for all.

Instead he'd been given hope and relief. Hope that Lisana would forgive him, relief that she hadn't done those things to his mother, relief that Mai hadn't committed suicide. Zuko knew that he would feel angry at Azula soon, anger for killing Mai, but he was too much in shock at the moment for that to occur.

Apparently the whole shaft had weakened at the point Zuko was using to look through, and his falling forward had been the final straw. Fortunately the drop to the floor at the back of the room had been short, only about three metres, although his lower spine was feeling decidedly unfortunate.

'Fire Lord Zuko!' 'Are you all right?'

Zuko was helped to his feet by three or four courtiers, even as Azula turned to face him.

'Hello, brother.' She smiled, and did a little sarcastic wave.

Zuko's eyes tore away from Azula, falling to rest on Lisana. Guilt sank in, hollow and deep, as he took in her appearance. She had dark circles under her eyes and her skin was stained with jail dirt. She glanced at him, and their eyes met briefly. Just as quickly she looked away, biting her lip.

'I believe I was talking to you, Zuzu,' Azula said, commanding his attention again. Zuko looked back at her unwillingly, and noticed to his surprise that there were tears in her eyes.

'You'll want to be watching me very carefully, Fire Lord.' Her tone was still lightly mocking. 'The bards of the Fire Nation will be telling this story for a long time to come.'

And with that, she leapt into the air, swinging her knee into the head of the soldier standing at attention behind her. He grunted, falling to the floor, and Azula ran for the door. The councilman at the front of the room moved in front of her, as if to apprehend her.

In response Azula traced an arc of fire through the air with her open hand. The councilman gasped, staggered back, and Azula kicked the doors of the trial chamber open. In less than a second she was gone.

'Stop her!' bellowed the councilman.

'No!'

Lisana stood tall, suddenly carrying authority in the set of her back and shoulders. The councilman gaped at her, dumbstruck. Then his face reddened.

'Who are you to contradict my orders, criminal?' he roared, stepping forward.

'No.' Zuko stepped forward himself, raising a hand. 'Let my sister go.'

Lisana shot him a glance at that, a look Zuko couldn't read. The Fire Nation courtiers were silent for a moment, then began to whisper among themselves.

'I suppose this means the trial is over, then.' The voice was his uncle's. Zuko glanced in the direction it had come from. Iroh was grinning widely.

'Yes, it is.' Zuko looked at his council, sitting in the front row. 'Azula confessed. Nemi is innocent.'

He expected an uproar at that, but didn't get it. Instead, the councilmen just slumped in their seats. A few of them looked vaguely disappointed. The man at the front turned to the door. He pulled it open, and slammed it shut behind him.

'You can all go home now,' Zuko announced. 'There's nothing more to see.'

Slowly the court began to file out. Zuko could hear some of them, mostly the ladies, grumbling discontentedly. Doubtless they were annoyed about being deprived of another chance to set one of their own on the seat next to the Fire Lord.

When they were all gone he moved closer to his uncle, and the two of them walked down to Lisana. She seemed uncomfortable almost, as if not sure where to look.

At once, Iroh leapt forward, catching Lisana in a hug. She gasped, and stuttered.

'G-General Iroh -'

'I'm so glad you're safe.' Zuko caught shakiness in his uncle's voice, and turned away, a little ashamed. 'I have to admit, I never thought I'd be this grateful to my niece for anything.'

'Neither - did I, but you're _squishing _me, General Iroh.'

Iroh promptly let go, and Lisana took in a deep breath. Uncertain, Zuko took a step towards her. 'I'm glad you're safe too,' he murmured.

She looked up at that. 'Took you long enough.' Her voice was cool, her face carefully blank. There was some wild emotion in her eyes, something Zuko couldn't quite identify.

Iroh raised his hands. 'Perhaps I'll leave the two of you alone now.' He backed towards the door.

As the door closed behind Iroh Zuko spoke again. 'I'm so sorry,' he said, his voice not quite working. 'I never should have - I knew that pirate. I can't believe I took his word over yours.'

'You'd understand, wouldn't you?' Lisana straightened, her face still except for her eyes. Zuko glanced at them again, and looked away. He was afraid of what he'd find there if he looked too deep.

'You'd understand if I said that sorry wasn't enough. It's fair enough, right?' Lisana breathed slowly, then spoke again, her voice harsh. 'You put me in jail. You were going to _kill me. _It's logical that I wouldn't be able to forgive you for all that.'

Zuko's blood felt sluggish, cold as her voice in his veins. His head began to ache, matching the pulse of pain in his lower back.

'Can I ask why you let Azula go?' Lisana was looking at him again. It was as if her gaze had developed the ability to strip the flesh away from his bones.

Zuko looked down. 'She defended you, and I'm not sure why. From what I know of Azula, it's not something she'd do.'

'You have that much right.'

'But it was a decent thing to do. And I don't think she's going to come after me again, even after she said she killed Mai. And…you said not to go after her. I thought it was your decision to make. And -' Zuko forced himself to look at Lisana again, looking directly into her strange wild eyes. 'I respected that decision. If you really can't forgive me, then I'll respect that decision too.' To his shame, he felt his own eyes begin to sting. 'You're right. I couldn't expect you to accept an apology and then everything would be all okay, after everything I put you through. Respecting what you want is the least I can do to make it up to you. If you want to leave the Fire Nation and never see me again, if that would make you feel even the slightest bit better -' A tear trickled down his cheek, warm and liquid. 'I am so, so sorry. And I know that's not enough.'

'You're right,' Lisana replied, her voice a low murmur. Her eyes were still fixed on his own. 'It isn't enough. It's…logical that I'd want to leave and never come back.' There was something strange in her voice, completely unfathomable to Zuko.

And then she was pressed against him, her arms tight around him and her face buried in his chest.

'It shouldn't be enough,' she whispered. 'But it is.'

Zuko hugged her back, feeling the smile spread across his face. His arms tightened around her, and she gasped again.

'You're squishing me too!'

He released her, and she stepped back, gasping. Zuko waited for her to catch her breath, then spoke again.

'Thank you. Thank you so much.'

'Don't mention it,' Lisana replied, looking at him. 'I've been logical my entire life and it hasn't really done anything for me.'

Zuko reached out to take her hand, still half-expecting her to refuse him. Lisana curled her fingers around his own and they left the trial chamber, wandering towards his own rooms.

'How did they treat you?' he asked. 'Did anyone hurt you?'

Lisana shook her head. 'No. It was like everyone felt sorry for me.'

Zuko told her the story of the political debacle within the Earth Kingdom in regards to her imprisonment. Lisana's eyes widened when he'd finished. 'Wow.'

She breathed in. 'Just…wow.'

'Two countries very nearly went to war over you,' Zuko said.

'Wow,' she repeated. 'I'm like Helen of Troy or something. I know the earth Kingdom was only defending me because they wanted an excuse to pick a fight with the Fire Nation, but…'

'I have no idea who Helen of Troy is.'

Lisana laughed, and Zuko realised how much he'd missed the sound. 'Helen of Troy was famously beautiful,' she told him. 'She was married to a Spartan king, and a prince of Troy fell in love with her. The prince kidnapped her, took her to Troy, and basically all these men wanted to fight to take Helen back for the king because she was so beautiful. Then Troy and Sparta were at war for ten years.' She paused. 'Come to think of it, I'm not like Helen of Troy at all. Apart from the two countries warring thing.'

'You're beautiful,' Zuko pointed out, opening the door to his room.

Lisana snorted. 'I haven't washed for days. Don't give me that.' She fell onto his bed, sighing. 'God, this is good. Prison beds suck.'

Zuko sat down next to her, and Lisana unfastened her hair in its ponytail. Despite her time in the palace holding cells, it was relatively clean, the gold colour still shining through.

'Oh, I have to show you something,' she said, sitting up next to him. Her eyes touched on him, looking tentative and bold at the same time. Suddenly Zuko was keenly conscious of the fact that the two of them were sitting on a bed. He closed his eyes in anticipation, breathing in deeply.

Lisana laughed. 'You can't see if you have your eyes closed.' Zuko opened his eyes, and saw what it was. She'd pulled the collar of her loose shirt down with a finger, exposing a star-shaped patch of skin at the top of her left breast.

It had healed remarkably quickly compared to his own. The skin was the same dull crimson colour, wrinkling slightly in the centre.

'We match now,' she said, tracing his own scar lightly with her fingertips.

Zuko reached out his own fingers to touch her face, outlining its shape. He marvelled at how perfect she was, even after having spent so much time in what was basically a prison. He kissed her, remembering the feel of her mouth, trailing his fingers down the side of her neck. She was still there, still the same, still his. The pulse in her throat was delicate like a butterfly.

They broke the kiss, and Lisana moved so that she was sitting on his lap.

'Do you want me to take a bath first?' she asked.

'Never,' Zuko murmured.

She pressed her lips to his, moving her hands over his shoulders. They stayed like that for a while, taking the time to relearn the shape of each other's bodies. Finally Zuko lay down, taking her with him. Undressing her while she was underneath him was awkward, but the end result was well worth the wait. After she'd pulled him clumsily out of his clothes, she moved her legs around him, guiding him into her.

When it was finished, Zuko cradled Lisana in his arms, burying his face in her hair. At that moment, neither of them cared about politics, or the opinions of anyone else, or even the fact that they'd just had unprotected sex.

Zuko was happy, and Lisana was happy, and neither of them wanted to shatter the fragile internal peace they'd created.

* * *

They kissed and made up. And more *grins*.

This is the second-last chapter! That's not much of a spoiler, so I don't really feel bad giving it away.

Happy reading and general fanfictioning everyone! Oh, and hope you had a good Friday the 13th. My Friday the 13th was...awkward.


	59. Sleeping Sun

Vivisection

Chapter 59 - Sleeping Sun

* * *

Strangely, I didn't freak out six weeks later when I realised I was pregnant, for real this time. When I first suspected, I went to see Hanna, the Water Tribe girl who'd healed Zuko's shoulder after our first date. She confirmed it, and since it was only a couple of days before Zuko's birthday, I decided to tell him then.

The look on his face had gone from stunned to concerned to stupidly happy when he saw that I wasn't tearing my hair out. Five minutes later, he asked me to marry him again. I told him I'd think about it, again, and gave in after about a week.

Of course the first person to find out was Zuko's mother. At first I felt guilty being around her - after all, it was my fault she'd been beaten almost to death. I got over that fairly soon when I realised that she had no intention of holding it against me, or of allowing me to blame myself for it. Once I got used to calling her Ursa instead of Sakura, we got on really well. She came to Jilan's funeral with me, which I appreciated more than anything. I even spoke to General Aizen while I was there. He seemed a lot nicer than the other councilmen. It turned out that Jilan had only ever praised me to him while she was alive, and he appreciated the fact that I'd been a good friend to his daughter.

Later on, I received a message from him asking me if I'd consider becoming a member of the Aizen family through adoption. After asking Iroh and Zuko about it - apparently it was quite common for noble families to adopt someone who'd done them a great service or been particularly close - I accepted.

The court seemed to like me a little better for it. Even though I wasn't born of noble stock myself, I had been deemed by one of the most powerful families in the Fire Nation to be good enough. Admittedly Lady Aizen was a few degrees cooler towards me than her husband was, but I figured she'd come around eventually. After all, I wasn't just the Fire Lord's unofficial significant other now - I was betrothed to him, soon to be married.

_Very _soon, in fact. Iroh had suggested it might be a good idea to get the wedding out of the way before I started to show, and I'd agreed wholeheartedly. It reminded me of the girl who'd attended my Year 10 formal eight months pregnant, the shape of her stomach painfully obvious under her blue silk dress.

So I submitted to the headlong rush of wedding preparations, feeling at times like a leaf caught on the surface of an unstoppable force of nature. I learnt just how much had to be done for a wedding - even more so for a royal wedding.

It was kind of funny, the effort they were all going to. Sure, I'd be able to get married before I started looking too obviously pregnant, but anyone who did the maths after our wedding would know the baby had been conceived out of wedlock. All it required was a simple counting backwards, not calculus or anything, and yet everyone seemed to forget that.

To Zuko and I, the wedding itself was mostly a formality. We knew ourselves that we would have been perfectly content just to spend our lives together, but the wedding was required to make that happen.

Ursa helped me a lot when it got too overwhelming. She explained all the little things to me, like how brides in the Fire Nation didn't wear white because that was the colour of mourning, and that at the end of the ceremony Zuko and I would light candles for each other.

There was a lot of pressure on Zuko and I to make the wedding open to the public, but Zuko managed to squirm out of that one. We compromised by agreeing to tour through the city at the end of it, on a big fancy palantine. I wanted to ride on a rhino, but Iroh wouldn't let me.

When the day finally came around, I wore my big heavy dress with all the gold on it, and Zuko wore his official-looking Fire Lord's robes, and we exchanged a light, formal kiss in front of all the courtiers and councillors and their wives and families.

We were married in the courtyard with the fountain in it. I wasn't sure why I'd insisted on that particular location. It would have made more sense to avoid it, seeing as that was the place where Zuko had first turned against me.

Maybe it was out of a desire for closure, acknowledging that I was going to leave behind all the crap that had happened. In truth, I think it was already behind me for good. The nightmares had disappeared, seemingly never to return, and I only ever thought about what might be happening back in the world I'd been born in fleetingly.

I didn't even miss science any more. I'd been using the lab Zuko had commissioned for me. I'd even exploded some hydrogen in there, which had been fun.

One of the men in the red priest hats - I'd learnt from Zuko that they were called Fire Sages - tied a topknot piece which matched Zuko's into my hair, and that was that. We were together for good now, for better or worse. I suspected it would be for the better.

We were led towards the palantine, both of us waving dutifully at the courtiers, and I noticed out of the corner of my eye a familiar face. A girl my own age, dark hair still short, eyes gold like Zuko's. She curved red lips upwards in a smile, a smile which might have been mocking.

Then the curtain of the palantine fell shut, and I lost sight of Azula.

* * *

~_The End~_

* * *

The first fanfiction I have ever actually completed. And wow, it was a monster of a fanfiction. I need to go check the total word count again, but last time I remember, it was friggin' huge.

This is kind of an emotional moment for me. No…mustn't cry…I love happy endings! *sniff* Well no, not really. Pretty much every story I write has a horrible, sad, tragic ending, with either the protagonist or someone very close to the protagonist dying in this beautifully contrived way. I'm very proud of my death scenes, but everyone who was reviewing wanted a happy ending so much, I couldn't disappoint them.

Thanks for reading, guys! I am going to be writing more stuff in the future. When I get around to posting my Bleach fic, please read it :D It will probably be called Angina/Symphony, although I tend to change my titles every five minutes. It is going to have Aizen, and one of my lovely OCs, and Grimmjow. And it will not be like some of the other OC mush you see on here.

My OC Bleach story is going to be _good! _Good, damnit! It's probably going to be darker than this one. This one was intended to be dark to begin with, but then it kind of wrote itself.

Eventually I will get around to finishing my Halo story, for those of you who read it. I just have a massive writer's block for it at the moment.

Final advice from the author? Avoid shipping forums for A:TLA. At all costs. The internet trolls go there to munch on the bones of innocents. I barely escaped with my arm.

Love from Kelsey.


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